Holding Baby too much?

[First Time Mom]

Ok ladies, I really need opinions on this one!

My 6.5 week little Milena cries and screams most of her awake time and gets all worked up in fits (usually 9pm to 12am but it does vary). It seems the only thing that will calm her down the most is holding her and sticking my pinkie finger in her mouth so I do this as I hate to see her worked up, she then falls asleep in my arms and will sleep for an hour or more. I know this is setting up for bad habits and I've done the pat/sh, white noise, and EVERYTHING else but this gets her calm for the longest. I just started this bad habit yesterday.
I've read that babies that are held all of the time are the calmest and will cry less, some suggest having baby in a baby sling ALL DAY LONG. In the book it says not to let baby sleep in arms. My mother keeps telling me not to get into this habit as well.
Question- am I in trouble down the line? Again, this is what calms her down from her screaming/crying more than anything else. She is a spirited baby to say the least.

[LindseysMom]

Hello.  Have you tried to swaddle her?  It really does help.  I would get Lindsey calm and then swaddle her so she would not fight it so much because if you do it when they are wide awake they will fight it.    I would try not to worry about it too much yet, she is still so young and you have plenty of time to sleep train when she is a bit older and can better self soothe herself.  I personally believe in a 4th trimester where babies are adapting to the outside world and need us close by and do need our help to calm them.  So if she is calmed by you holding her for a bit now than I think that is good because she is learning to trust that you are going to be there for her.   Bottom line, do what you feel is best for her and do not worry too much about what any books say is "right" or "wrong".  Just my 2 cents here.    Congrats on your new little one.  And enjoy her while she is so cuddly, they grow up so fast.

[Jaime]

nah, i don't think you can hold her too much at this age. 

BUT, i don't think i ever held my kids all day long, nor did i hold them to sleep - that would set you up for problems down the road.

agree with above, swaddling is a great tactic to help cue her in that it's time to go to sleep.  this is a great time to establish a wind down routine for naptimes & bedtimes.

keep in mind too - i've heard from moms on this site that spirited ones hardly show any tired signs, and seem to have much shorter A times at first.

good luck 

[maggieruth]

if anything, i have erred on the side of spoiling my ds and i would probably do it again than second guess if i was too strict.
i thought it was really important for my ds to feel secure and i did whatever felt right in providing him security. 
trust yourself and do what you can live with.  enjoy your time with your little one, they grow up fast (you would think my ds is a teenager the way i write this but he isn't a wee baby anymore!)

[ava's maman]

Hi, I am just now reading THe Happiest Baby on the Block by Dr Harvey Karp and realizing that from age 0 to 3 months, you should cuddle your baby as much as possible bc you can't spoil them at that age.  Earlier this week I was so worked up on trying to get her into the shhh/pat thing but it just wasn't working out at all so I think I am going to reintroduce Tracy's methods in about a month when DD is 4 months old.  She is now 9 weeks and it just seems like the shhh/pat has NO effect on her at night at all.  I do believe that it will work later on though, but for now, do what your baby needs.  Just my 2cents

[annapark]

Hi first time Mom,

I too am a first time mother, my little one, Thomas, is 12 weeks old and he is a Spirited child also.

Swaddling is good although he now freaks out when I swaddle as he knows it leads to sleep time.  Perhaps swaddling while you're holding him - I've had 2 large family social gatherings since his birth and he's had melt downs at both I ensure he's not handled by anyone he doesn't know and usually keep him settled in his stroller.

At about 5 weeks he too had all day cry fests - it turned out he had reflux, since he's been on the meds he's been easier to handle.

About your mum telling you you're spoiling him - I don't think you are, I feel you're respondng to what your baby needs, comfort.  Stick with what's working.  It's easy to say that to someone who doesn't have to deal with the reality of a screaming child - my mother has said the same to me.

There is an excellent Q&A interview about nap times with Tracy that is worth you looking at.  I'm now at the stage where Thomas doesn't like to nap at all.

Oh to have a Spritied child!

Hope this helps.

Cheers,

Anna

[First Time Mom]

Thanks for all the responses!
I am doing the holding thing more- even letting her fall asleep in my arms when needed and this has meant very peaceful evenings the last 2 nights! I am also doing the pt/sh and this has a miracle effect on her sometimes. I find that if I can do things before her meltdown that they work- if the meltdown happens fast- nothing but the holding and finger sucking work. (Probably because I did this when she was born- a nurse in the hospital taught me)