Having a hard time settling at night

[bluefin]

Confused. After 2 hours of A time I got a 35 minute nap. I dropped again to 1:45 for next A time and got a 45 min nap. Would that mean his A time is between the two? I don't know how to get more precise than 15 minute blocks because it doesn't always take the same amount of time to get him down.

[becj86]

I'd say its more than 2hr, or that these short naps are somewhat developmental. 45min is either developmental or undertired, usually. Did you try to resettle that one?

Any chance of overstimulation for the first nap - how did he wake? Happy, cranky?

[bluefin]

I did not try and resettle any naps today since the extended nap from yesterday had no positive impact on his night. Last night was worse than the night before. I left him 10 - 15 minutes after each nap because he was jabbering. I watched him on the monitor to see what he was doing and went to get him when he started to cry. All of his naps today he's woken up well from. I'm nearly positive we didn't overstimulate him this morning. After he woke this morning I fed and changed him and then my husband and I snuggled with him in bed for about an hour (all of us awake, just very low key). He had one small toy for about 15 minutes and the rest of the time he had his burp cloth to suck and chew on. After that we hung out in his room with the lights off but with the shades open until about 1:40 A time then did our nap routine. His last (3rd) nap was 40 minutes. We are going to try and put him down again even though he's only been up an hour because he's getting pretty hyperactive, which is a definite OT sign for him.

He has napped longer than 45 mins before without any additional assistance by me. Same wake time, same basic activities, same routine. Would that indicate more developmental if he can do it but doesn't do it all the time even under very similar conditions?

Should I try and push him to 2:15 for the first A time tomorrow AM?

[JaxMomNeedsSleep]

Just wanted to share my issues and what has been working for me with myLO...

I have been working really hard on independent sleeping - putting him down drowsy but awake.  It has been making such a difference in his sleeping.  My DS sleeps for naps and nights swaddled - haven't had much luck weaning it, but we have been letting him have one hand free in a Love sack, which keeps his arm up by his head.  It has worked so well the last 2 weeks.  He's suddenly able to settle himself back to sleep most times, unless he wakes up hungry.

I also tried to move my DS bedtime so many times!  I eventually got it to 6:30 but he would wake every hour until about 10:30.  I decided to give that up, and now I just base it on what time he wakes in the morning.  If he wakes up at 7:00am, I aim for a 7pm or 730pm bedtime. 

As for napping, stretching my DS's A time, and giving him lots of physical activity has seemed to help me.  It's funny because if I am off even 5 minutes, I get a 45 minute nap.  If I'm bang on with his A time, I get 1hr45min or 2hrs.  The quality of A time seems important when developmental stuff is happening, as they want lots of practice on talking, crawling, rolling over, etc.

These little ones are a puzzle!

So my advice is to work really hard on teaching self settling and independent sleep.  Also, I just relaxed about what time bedtime was, and just tried to make sure the day wasn't too long.  sometimes the day is 12hrs, sometimes a little less. 

Fingers crossed for you.

[becj86]

Would that indicate more developmental if he can do it but doesn't do it all the time even under very similar conditions?

No, that would indicate he's undertired if he can do it but isn't.

I'd give the 2hr15 a go and see what happens. With the higher A time, you may need to step in with hold through the jolts or shush/pat to help him through the transition since he's out of practise.

[bluefin]

Well our night last night was better. He went down at 9:45 PM and woke at 11:30 PM pretty hungry. I fed him and had a bit of a harder time getting him back down than normal, but then he slept until 5:30 AM. I fed him again and put him back down at around 6:00 AM. He fussed a bit, but fell asleep on his own. At 7:00 AM I heard him stir on the monitor. I waited a few minutes since he wasn't crying and just grunting, and he went back to sleep. Up at 8:15 AM crying. I tried to get him back down for a little longer as the I thought morning transition from 9:15 AM yesterday to 8:15 AM this morning was too much of a shift but after I fed him again, he seemed happy to be awake. Going to give the 2:15 A time a go this morning.

[bluefin]

He went down like a breeze after 2:15. NO crying! Still woke at 35 min even with an attempt to resettle. I ended up picking him up and rocking him back to sleep. Not sure if he will let me put him down. Tried once and he was wide eyed immediately and would not tolerate shush pat so I rocked him again. Whole process took about 30 min. He seems to be in a very light sleep now but his eyes are closed. Should I just hold him asleep until 12:30? That would have been the end of a 2 hour nap.

[bluefin]

Well scratch that. He woke up crying and passed some gas. I bicycled his legs, he smiled, and then I bounced him and put him back into his crib and shush patted to sleep. Poor guy needs to poop I think. :/

[bluefin]

So far still sleeping. Do I count this as one nap even though he woke up several times? Not as good as a full uninterrupted nap I would expect but is this the same or better than a couple CN?

Sorry so many questions. I just really want the best for him and some rest for us all.

[bluefin]

Now a 30 minute nap. He goes from asleep to eyes popped open. Shush pat alone can never get him through the transition nor holding a hand on him. I'm ready to give up.

[bluefin]

Tonight is horrible again. He will not stay asleep. So here I am just holding him. I know the second I put him down he will wake and cry. I have been trying to get him down the last hour. Shush pat isn't working and he is fighting me when I try.

[bluefin]

I suspect he is teething. My husband and I can feel a slight bump on his lower gums. Though we are both sleep deprived, so maybe nothing is there. Anyway, I had a very hard time settling him for his morning nap so I broke down and gave him Tylenol in case I'm right. He just napped for an hour and fifteen minutes! Not as great as a 2 hour nap, but much better than the 35/45 naps! That would definitely indicate something is causing him pain this preventing his sleep, right?

[becj86]

Do I count this as one nap even though he woke up several times? Not as good as a full uninterrupted nap I would expect but is this the same or better than a couple CN?

An extended nap is better than a couple of catnaps separated by a larger A time. Still a solid nap is obviously better but yes, this is progress.

That would definitely indicate something is causing him pain this preventing his sleep, right?

I'd say so, unless he was just undertired and needed the extra A time he spent fighting the nap and taking the meds... How are you doing with A times now?

[bluefin]

A times are at ~2:15 (sometimes 2:20). It worked like magic the first time and now he's fighting naps even worse than before. As soon as we head upstairs he starts crying. When I change his diaper and put him in the sleep sack he cries harder. By the time I turn the lights off and the white noise on he's pretty upset. It's like he knows that we want him to nap as soon as we start to head upstairs. He seems to know the nap cues at least, so I'm trying to stay positive about that piece of it. Now I don't know if he's OT, UT, in pain, etc. I'm so confused. If he naps for < 45 min I try and cut the next A time by 15 - 20 min if I can't extend his nap, but with the one exception he has still been fighting the naps.

Today:

• 1st nap A time was 2:20. He napped for 1 hour 15 min by himself (also this is the nap I gave him Tylenol before). Did not try and extend as he seemed to wake up quite cheerful, plus I've never had luck resettling after a nap that long.
• 2nd nap A time was 2:15 - 2:20. He woke after 35 min, extended to 55 min and couldn't keep him asleep any longer. Woke a little cranky, but not awful.
• 3rd nap A time was 2:15. He woke after 35 min, extended to 1 hr. Woke cranky.

He was pretty cranky after he woke from his 3rd nap, so we tried to put him back down for bed. He's been in a very light sleep for almost an hour and a half. Keeps waking up. He's wanting nothing but to comfort nurse right now. All of the usual calming tactics aren't working. My husband is taking a turn so I can get a break.

[becj86]

What's his temperament?