Urgent help needed!

[newkidontheblock]

The situation here is a bit unreal.  DH was home on Sunday & Monday, and so, to give me a break, he did all naps & resettles. Since then, I can't put her down without insane amounts of crying. I thought maybe his technique was different or there was a prop involved but it is the same as always! He did not believe that two days could have caused this, so this morning he put her down, and she was asleep in 2 mins -- he just swaddled her and popped her in the crib & Voila! No resettle needed either. I did the afternoon nap, and she went to sleep after 45 MINUTES of crying. The wind down works well for both DH and me but she gets drowsy with him but seems to wake up more & more with me. Finally she goes extremely still and I put her down & she starts babbling & smiling at me. If I persist with heavy hand, the crying begins.
She is on a 4hr EASY. I usually put her down for all naps & bedtime but for the past 10 days DH has been doing morning nap. She usually goes down equally well with both of us.
A few points --
1. Although she is a textbook baby, she is more than a little touchy, according to me. She will not let DH give her a bath/ massage or put her to bed at night.
2. I am still able to put her to bed at night with no problem.
3. Before we were on a 4hr EASY, I was the only one playing with her & putting her for naps. DH would grab some time here and there. Now I let him play with her morning & evening and FIL comes over most days for the mid-morning playtime. As a result, I am not getting much playtime with her.
4. I think a wonder week is on as she is very clingy, crying randomly & seems very low.
Any thoughts? This seems nuts!

[weaver]

I'm going to need to think this one over but the only thing I can think is that it sounds like there's something more she wants from you.  More cuddles?  Is she BF? She might be a bit hungry coming up to nap time, mine generally had a 'snack' about 30 mins before nap time.  That might help?

Otherwise possibly OS, particularly as you say she's touchy, perhaps cut the playing with DH and FIL so she gets a quieter time just before naptime, snuggling with you (which brings us back to the snack).

Will think about it a bit more too.

[newkidontheblock]

Hi weaver. Thank you for the reply. She is ebf & I give her a snack some time before naps (EAEAS) nowadays because she is not eating as well and I don't want hunger to interfere with nap routine. Also, I am trying to avoid NWs due to hunger. She sleeps through with just a DF but for how long...
When she wants to be fed to sleep or wants more food, she usually sucks on my shoulder as I am trying to put her down.

Right now I am trying to just spend more time playing with her. It is strange that everything else seems normal except for this one thing. Bedtime yesterday too was a breeze - swaddle, lullaby, kiss goodnight, done. She has been wanting more independence nowadays. Let's see how today goes.

[newkidontheblock]

Additional info: Although he was able to put her down for nap#1 with no problem, she WU in 30 mins and the sequence of events is similar to what has been happening with me. Which raises a new question ---- Are mummies hit with the baby hurricane blues before dads? Just wondering whether she was showing me what was to come.

[newkidontheblock]

Just wanted to say not to worry about this anymore. Everything has gone to pieces - naps, BT... gah:( I guess it was just the first sign of 4 month wakeful:( Will we ever nap again? Who knows...Also, some one/s bursting firecrackers nearby. Hooray!

[weaver]

Sounds like it's an interesting time in your house   (I'm always trying to figure out why on earth people are setting them off!)

the other thing that occurred to me is undertiredness - average A at this age is 1 hr 45-2 hrs. And here are some sample routines which might help you see whether there might be an issue:
Sample EASY Routines from 0 - 13mths+

[newkidontheblock]

She is easily doing 2 hours right now. During this four month crazy time, should I increase/ decrease A time?

[weaver]

She has been wanting more independence nowadays.

My LO1 needed tons of winding down - until the day he didn't, iyswim.  He just suddenly decided he was ready to do it on his own. So that's a possiblity too, and a sign of growing and successful sleep training (well done!).  She may also be ready for an increase in A time.  You'll have to trust your instinct on that one - fighting naps for us was usually a sign of undertiredness but of course she is touchy so go very gently with any A time increases, just 10 minutes maybe, as touchies are very sensitive for OS and OT both.

And bear in mind what kind of naps she is doing - are they under or overtired naps?  An undertired nap will generally be just one sleep cycle and then awake and happy, and refusing to resettle, an overtired nap will be shorter than one sleep cycle and cranky, but may resettle. An average length of sleep cycle is 40 minutes.

Hope some of that helps.  Is she feeling any better - still clingy and weepy?  Is she ill do you think?

I am trying to avoid NWs due to hunger. She sleeps through with just a DF but for how long...

And couldn't let this pass without saying, she is very likely to have a phase (or several) between now and a year old when she wakes more at night to feed, just because she's growing and not because you're doing anything wrong. Perfectly normal.

[weaver]

You might also like to read this:
Six Weeks to Four Months: Growth Spurts - How to tackle them

[newkidontheblock]

Thank you so much for taking the time to help me *hug* She is so sleepy today. Last night was terrible. The noise continued past 12. She nodded off at 11 finally. I was such a nervous wreak that I couldn't sleep. Never had her awake and crying for that long in the night. I know it will happen many times again but... never considered fireworks :S