BabyWhispererForums.com
SLEEP => Night Wakings => Topic started by: becky1969 on November 03, 2006, 01:18:35 am
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I was wondering if we could have a sticky thread with night waking success stories (not successful night wakings, but successful FIXING of night wakings! ;D ). I know on the Props page, the successful swaddle weaning stories were SO helpful to me - and guided me in how I weaned Owen.
Any chance we could do that? Or ARE there any success stories? LOL! Perhaps even arranging them by broad age ranges (0-6 mo, 6-12, 12-18, etc.) might help too b/c night wakings with a 4 month old who isn't even rolling over is different than helping a 9 month old who pulls up to standing and has separation anxiety!
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I think thats a great Idea. I'll sticky this one and you can all add your success stories here.
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Does anyone have a successful night waking fix story? I need some encouragement! lol
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Hi,
My DS is 4.5 months old and had started waking up to 8 times a night. I tried weaning him from sucking my finger to get to sleep, and every time he woke up did shh/pat or PUPD but although it became easier to get him to settle he still kept waking up. Last week a friend suggested that because he was still in a bassinet by our bed we might be disturbing him. On Friday I moved him to his big cot on the other side of the room and he slept right through the night from 7.30 til 6.45 (with DF at 10.30). I think he was more comfortable in the bigger cot, further away from us, further away from the window and with more space. Also, yesterday we stopped swaddling him and used a sleeping bag instead and to my amazement he again slept right through. I heard him wake up at about 6.40am but he didn't cry or call out. When I checked him he was playing quietly with a toy! What an angel.
I just posted this because last week he was waking up every 20-60 minutes all night every night & I was so tired and I didn't know what to do. And overnight everything changed. So if you're in the same situation, don't worry, it might suddenly be OK.
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i really, really, really need a success story right now. esp for 17 mth and older LOL
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Hi Well I finally have a succes story!!
Grace is now 7 months old and for the last week has started to sleep for much longer stretches at night eg 7-8 hour stretch and then 3-4 hour stretch with the last few nights waking only once for a feed, goes to bed at 7 and has a wake time of 7, and naps for 2 1/2 hours a day often with one of her naps for 1 1/2 hours completely unassisted at the 45 minute mark.
For some this may not seem great but for me I am over the moon - i feel alive again and we have managed it without compromising myself or doing things I didn't feel comfortable doing.
So how we managed it...
*Firstly Grace was being rocked to sleep, so I very slowly over the course of 10-12 days stopped rocking her to sleep and just holding her and when she was asleep putting her down in the cot. Really couldn't face doing PU/PD and knew that I would not be consistent so did not do, also after looking at posts there seemed to be lots of mums whose babies were going to bed awake who were still waking and needing help to go back to sleep so I really didn't want to go through trauma and still end up doing assisted back to sleep!
*With help from very great ladies on this board esp colinmac's mum (thank you!!) got her reducing amount of time at feeding in the night, and eating more during the day - i think this has really really helped!
*Instigated very good bedtime routine bath, feed, hold on bed and then in cot asleep same time everyday.
*Started to feed her solids.. something that I think has actually made a pretty big difference and one that I was not expecting to make a difference.
*Instigated really good nap routine which still involved me rocking her abit but only for a few minutes and since it is such a short time I really love it, love holding my little baby and see her fall asleep (any longer than 5 minutes tho and she is no longer darling little baby but big heavy baby!!)
*Cut out cat nap and lengthened A time and did more activity.
I think that is all, but oh it feels so good!! And best of all
*we are still sleeping in the same room after long considering moving her out, but after reading posts thought this probably should not be our first course of action to help her sleep better at night and am really glad we did not do.
*we are still co-sleeping on occasion although Grace really does grizzle alot more in bed with us and really does seem to sleep better in her cot so I guess this is going out window..
* she cries less now at bedtime than she did when i was rocking her. I honestly believe the rocking was making her cry more and was not at all calming for her - no doubt caused by own mood I am sure!
I was of course hoping that her sleep would right itself but after reading lots of posts of babes who were still waking every two hours at 14 months thought i really needed to take action and I am very happy with the action taken and the results.
There are of course somethings I would like to change eg she is still waking 45 minutes after being put down for night, she is very easy to get back to sleep but would like to see this change eventually.
So there is my success story. I am sure I will be back on board with some other problem causing night waking eg teeth, SA etc.. but for now all is good!!
Hope this gives others some cheer!
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DS, Textbook toddler, 16 month separation anxiety.
Started waking not only frequently but for hours was just awake! When I finally figured out it was separation anxiety I formulated the plan.
Since waking hours effect sleep hours so much that's where I started. I made sure that he didn't go anywhere without me (except grandmas since he's totaly fine there) for 2 weeks. Even Grandma wasn't to bring him anywhere but her house. I started a night time routine, never really had one and would often go from running around right into bed.
We now go upstairs where the bedrooms are and no TVs or radios. I start by getting him wased up and changed into his PJs. I sit in the chair and read a book in the babies room (gets her down early too :) )He generally doesn't sit and listen because he just isn't a toddler that will sit for longer then 2 seconds. He plays quietly with the few toys or looks through my parenting magazines (he likes pictures of kids) He is listening to the book and if I don't read it he brings it to me and has started to "talk" whenever he opens up a book other times a day so I know he is paying attention. Then I pick him up we say goodnight to baby, walk down the hall to the stairway and wave down to the dog then go in shut off the light, close the curtain and put him in. He still has a blanket and a suther (generally just sucks on it for a couple of minutes and then latly it has been going under his pillow) He now sleeps through the night again.
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Congrats murkywaters.... I needed that little bit of encouragement. We were doing okay until the dreaded chicken pox came in.... I will try to be patient until we can get back on track.
Thanks for posting
Suzie
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I had some success recently to share but oddly enough my son decided to do it all by himself lol. He had been in a set schedule for awhile and recently hit a growth spurt, started crawling, getting more teeth, got his next round of shots..... Poor LO's schedule was all off. He started only sleeping for an hour during his morning and after noon naps. He got tired earlier in the evening because he hadnt slept as much as he had for the afternoon nap so he ended up going to bed at night earlier which made him waking up earlier for the day. Before all of this he had been waking up at 2 or 3 am again at 5 again at 6 and again between 7/8 for the day. I had added a snack before bed at 6pm because he was hungry at night and had thought I should increase his milk intake (later was told he was getting too much milk). Needless to say all of the subtle adjustments he has made rather then the ones I made have him waking only once at night hungry around 4/5ish. He is still fairly restless at night (I think due to the milestones) so I have to be careful not to go into his room or he sometimes wake up but otherwise I think it wont be long before he is back to sleeping through the night again!! We have been struggling with this since he started teething in September so this is a big breakthrough. ;D
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Hello! I've got a success story - well a 2 night one - which is nothing short of a miracle for my 13mo DS - HUGE, HUGE thanks and hugs to all at Baby Whisperer ESPECIALLY Momofclaire, Layla and Aisling - This sounds really corny, but "I couldn't have done it without you!" I really thought I was going to have a breakdown at some point. For details of problem look on Night wakings -" Frequent Wakings, Dummy Dependent"
We started with PD, sshh, pat and cold turkey dummy withdrawal just two weeks ago - and it took 12 long HARD nights to have a complete sleep through. It probably would have been sooner, but I have an uncooperative DH (refused to do PD) and sorry to admit it, but I brought DS into our bed on 3 occasions.
Also I have to add that DS was diagnosed with eczema 3 days ago and the doctor agreed that the itching would have also have caused him to wake up frequently. The cream we apply now will have soothed the itching.
So we have a few contributary factors to the success, but I have to stress the intial problem was definitely dummy dependency as the night wakings (sometimes 4 per night) started long ago well before any signs of eczema.
I know it's early days yet, but the fact I know DS can sleep through the night (something you never believe will happen at some stage), has really encouraged me to stick with the routines, all suggested to me here - which blooming do work - I've got 2 night's proof!!
DS and I just simply could not believe it yesterday morning when we looked at the clock and it said 6.50am - we both hooted for joy!!
My advice to anyone with waking problems is:
- Don't give up (even if you've given in a bit like I did by bringing DS in our bed)
- Explore other possible reasons for the wakings (like Ds's itchy rash)
- Talk and cry to your friends - it helps!
- And above all use the information and support here at Baby Whisperer - I certainly wouldn't have known where to start without them.
I'll keep you all posted to let you know how it goes - fingers crossed!
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Not sure if this is a success story or not (maybe he just grew out of it at the same time I did this) but who cares??? HE SLEEPS THRU NOW! I was scared to post this for so long for fear DS was going to revert but it's been 2 months now.
All I did was move bedtime back one hour (from 7 to 8) and cut day naps down. I think it was a mix of doing that and that he became ready to sleep thru.
I'm sending hope vibes out to any one reading this because night wakings are the worst form of torture- esp when it gets to be 4 or more a night and they are lasting for hours. Moms are so strong. Keep going ladies and it will come. Try not top take it out on your lo or your DP, DH's.
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Well, I think I finally get to answer my own question! It's still early days, but it seems that we've found the cause of our NW, and so are well on our way to eliminating them for good!
LO is almost 15 months at this point, and has had NW since 10 months old. I looked in his baby book, and from 10-14 months he got 8 teeth (4 of which were molars), so I know that definitely played a part. It seems that he was constantly OT by bed, which resulted in the NW. Complicating factors is he's at the 2-1 nap transition: not quite ready for 1, but 2 can be too much. In those 6 months of teething, we added some props: bottle when he woke, swaddling again (doh! Why did i do that??), and bouncing/jouncing to sleep. Once we got him well rested again, all those props became totally unnecessary and we dropped them pretty much cold turkey. Crazy, huh?
Our solutions:
1) We started weaning the bottle by decreasing milk/increasing water.
2) We got rid of the swaddle at naps first, but were clinging at bedtime. We finally just ditched it altogether, and things went much better.
3) We made sure he gets 2 naps, waking him by 4:30 (although, it now seems 4 is a better wake-up time - we're still experimenting with this).
4) Give him PLENTY of wind down and time to fall asleep on his own. Now that he's unswaddled, he really needs the extra time to relax (the swaddling gave him an artificial sense of relaxation, and I think it caused him to sometimes fall asleep before he was tired ENOUGH! ::) ).
5) Removed all toys (FP aquarium) for him to play with in the crib. Leave stuffed animals and loveys for relaxation.
That's pretty much it! The PM nap is vital. He has to wake up no earlier than 2:30 or we have problems. I just can't get him to bed early enough then. He's doing so well with self soothing. We sometimes give him a Pat/Shush, but mostly we leave him to mantra cry or fuss himself to sleep. He really seems to need that to relax himself.
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I also have a success story,
My child woke up every 2 hours since birth, at 11 months old I managed to get him to sleep from 7:oo to 5:30. Then 2 weeks later he could get to 6:15. Now for the last 2 days he has made it all the way to 7:00 am.
I couldn't get any success until I read BW solves all your probs. I started with making our day time routine completely ridgid (Eating at exactly the same times and naps at exactly the same times). We always had a pretty good routine but sometimes quick trips to the store would get in the way.
The next thing I did was put the baby to bed in a sleaveless bunting bag. This was b/c he seemed to move so much in his sleep and get uncovered and bang his head on the enc of the crib.
The last thing I did was use shh pat if he did wake and slowly reduce this to just putting my hand on his back to get him back to sleep. In the last week all he needs is to be recovered and a quick touch on his head for 2 seconds and I leave.
I also found it helpful to wake just before him in the morning and place a bottle of water in the crib for him to find. That way he learns it is ok to wake with out me coming right away.
One last thing. I have also made him play a while before breakfast so he doesn't wake early from hunger.... Training him that breakfast is at 8 has really helped.
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Dear BabyWhisperers,
Here I am, finally logged in as a guest, so that I can thank you for the great gift of "Babywhispering." Wish i could thank Tracy, but you all work with her commitment, so thank you! You can imagine that I am full of gratitude as I have had two nights now when my 11 month old (today!) baby boy has slept through the night--from 7 to 6:30 ish, after two weeks of steady improvements. What did it? I read the fine print in 'The Babywhisperer Solves All Your Problems," scanned these boards, and used pu/pd consistently, and it worked!
I chose this thread to report our success because my lo was waking around 4am, consistently, and I was breastfeeding him, consistently. I had tried around around 7 months to do pu/pd, but after two weeks of being up from 4 on, I decided to just feed him quickly, and he'd go back to sleep (and I would) until 6:30/7. He had stopped feeding at other times in the night before that, and I had enforced that with pu/pd if he did wake up at 12 or 1 or 2, but the early morning wake/feed was not "going away," as my friends and mother said it would.
The key this time was Tracy's direction to stay with your baby until he falls into a deep sleep. Before, I would leave once he was asleep, but he would call me back in every 15, 10, 5 minutes--so I never slept. I decided that standing there was worth it. A couple nights I had a rush of feeling ill (I probably woke in the middle of a deep sleep rhythm), and my back needed TLC in the morning, but it did work. (A little aside: I learned quickly that I had to pee and drink water BEFORE going in to him, and make him wait, or I wouldn't make it)
The first night was maybe 20, 30 pu/pds over 1 and 1/2 hours. Then he had "heart sloughs", then finally slept, but I stayed another 20 minutes. He didn't wake until 6:30.
The second night, he wasn't crying so intensely, so after putting my hand on him and him pushing it away, I just sung to him--for an hour. "Jesus Loves Me" is our bedtime song and I just sung it over and over. Then he cried intensely for 1/2 hour and I did pu/pd, , and then he slept until 6:30.
The third night I was still there for 1 and 1/2 hours, singing and 2 pu/pd, then many more for 45 minutes. It wasn't easy, I say honestly. But I felt I'd seen improvement and i was hopeful that this would work.
Day five he started to put himself back to sleep, and/or need only a couple minutes of singing. Into week two, i was ready for him not to wake up at all, impatient for real results I was! But I knew that it was huge for a baby whose eaten ever 4am of his 10+ month life to go back to sleep quickly without eating. For a week, he'd wake about twice, say at 4:20 and then 5:15. Most times I just sang, maybe put my hand on him, occasionally pu/pd if he got crying, and then I'd stay in the room, but only 10-15 min max. For example, he'd wake at 4:20, I'd stay until 4:30, and he'd wake again at 5:15. I decided that I'd rather lie down and maybe sleep again than wait for him to wake again, as they were longer intervals. Sometimes he's wake close to 6, and then we were up for the day--pu/pd didn't work for us then.
Two weeks later, he slept from 7:15 to 6:30, and I couldn't believe it! The next night was two wake up agains, and then last night, again 11 hours! I am so thankful!
My husband, not one to go in for all this BW stuff, told me early on that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Well! I said, call me insane then! Repetition and perseverance have been the saving graces of my early parenting, so call it what you will! But seriously, a note about husbands: I had thought that I needed him to get on board before doing night pu/pd weaning. then I read a story where Tracy said no, the husband was too soft, let the mom do it. Well my husband isn't too soft but we are not on the same page and I didn't know how to get us on the same page. He went downstairs to the guest room actually, and I felt better that I/crying wasn't waking him. Not ideal but acceptable to us.
This is long enough, but I wanted to get in some of the smaller points that I know we all question. The big find for me in the Babywhisperer and in all of you is our agreement that letting babies cry for long periods of time, alone, as a way to teach them to sleep through the night is not best. You have been a haven for me as not one friend follows the BW but insteads tends towards CIO or attachment parenting. My heart couldn't do the first, and my energy level couldn't do the later. But what would we do without a workable way? Thanks for this way, and it truly works.
If anybody is desperate to sleep as I was, I'm with you! :D
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We had really drastic night waking problems for a long time. My son didn't sleep through the night more then once or twice by the time he was 10.5 months old (and by sleeping through the night, I mean longer then a 5 hour stretch at night).
I did BW from the beginning, but he did have sleep associations for his night sleep. His naps weren't too bad, we fixed his nap problems by 6 months by doing shush/pat when he was about 4-5 months old, and that worked wonders.
I should have done pu/pd when he was 6 months, but I waited because I thought he was teething. After months of constant NW's I realized teeth were not the real issue. I finally did pu/pd when he was 10 months old, and he started sleeping through the night consistenly soon after that. When he was 11 months old he was sleeping from 6:30 am - 7:00pm! Sometimes he would wake up once or twice at night and cry for a minute or two, but then would put himself right back to sleep. It's been consistent like that for 2 months now. Jake is getting his molars now, so we've had some disrupted naps cause of teething - but his night sleep is still really good and it's all thanks to the BW methods! Hope that encourages all you who are dealing with problems, one day "this too shall pass!". :) I didn't sleep through the night for over a year!!! But when it finally happened, it felt like everything was back to normal and my mind blocked out all those bad memories from this past year and the extreme sleep exhaustion...next time around with the next baby, I will definitely be trying the pu/pd method earlier!!! I saw results after only 4 days! It was much easier then I thought it would be, you only have to make sure you are doing it correctly. The first night I had to put him down over one hundred times! By the fourth night it only took two times! I've hardly every had to use it since, it really works like a charm!!!
It really pays to follow all the BW methods EXACTLY. We have such a tight schedule. I try to ALWAYS put him down at the same times every day, that really helps. His body clock has adjusted to the schedule and he just always knows when it's time to go down for a nap and he still naps really well.
This is what our schedule looks like at 13 months:
wake up 6:30-7:00am, BF
E 8:00 am - breakfast
A
S 9:00 am - 10:30 am (1.5 hr nap), BF when up from nap
Y
E 12:00 - lunch
A
S 1:00pm - 2:30pm (1.5 hr nap), BF when he wakes up from nap
Y
E 5:00 pm - dinner
A 6:00 pm - bath time, BF
S 6:30 pm - sleeps through the whole night, 12+ hours till around 7:00 am the next morning.
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Success at reducing NW for 12 month old and then eliminating them when he turned 22 months.....
When I first joined this site we had a 12 month co-sleeping, paci-addicted, nurse-to-sleep boy who was sleeping for 45 minute stints - including during the night!
We were able to drop the night wakings from sometimes upwards to 12 times/night to about 2 by using Gradual Withdrawal. We had so many things to work on that all at once! We - moved him to his crib, introduced a lovey, got rid of the paci, started putting him in his crib fully awake and then per Gradual Withdrawal we stayed in his room until he fell asleep.
But we kind of got stuck in Gradual Withdrawal holding pattern and were never able to leave his room until he fell asleep - 10 months later we were still doing that and he was still having a couple NW per night.
With the help of success stories on this board (Sarah2 sleep training her boy Henry using WI/WO was an especially big inspiration to me), we took the leap and used WI/WO. In just 2 nights, our DS was putting himself to sleep without us in the room and is using his newly learned technique to put himself back to sleep without us in the middle of the night too! After 22 months, we had our very first sleep through the night and he has been doing so well since!
We are still celebrating over here! Big thanks to everyone on this board!
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What is WI/WO?...I wonder how many other sleep-training methods I don't know about LOL. I pray, talking about my new-found success doesn't bring the NW back! A week ago, my 15 wk DD would only sleep one 3-hr stretch after finally going to bed at 9:30/10pm (and maybe 8:30 pm if we got lucky!) Even that was a big improvement considering when I started BW, she was having melt downs that started as early as 5pm and didn't end until going to bed at 11pm/12am. After the first stretch she would NW every hr. to nurse back to sleep. During the day, she was only taking 45 min-1hr naps and would only take them after being rocked to sleep.
Night 1 of PU/PD it took 2 hrs before she passed out! I was just relieved it didn't take the whole night b/c I honestly thought that it would. She's spirited and very strong-willed. The next day she was going down (and staying down at least 1.5 hrs) for naps w/out any props whatsoever.
Night 2 there was no need for PU/PD!!! She went to sleep at 7pm and woke 3 times. Each time she fell back to sleep on her on in 15-min or less! (I decided to completely wean her of night-feeds cold turkey, including the DF) I had 2 more nights like this before she started rolling over and that started a whole other string of problems! She would completely wake after flipping over and would be up at night sometimes for as long as 2.5 hrs!! Then, she'd only fall asleep after being held down by either me or dad. We also had this problem during naptimes for the next few days!...I really felt defeated
I've stayed consistent and now it seems for the past couple of nights we've been successful! She's going to bed at 7 pm! She's only waking once between 12am and 2a but she's putting herself back to sleep and not waking until 6:45ish in the morning to eat!!! She's not doing so much rolling over...I'm loving it. though I still haven't gotten much sleep b/c I'm used to being up all night so I've just been up (sort of scared to go to sleep) lol We've still had some problems w/naps but we're working them out...my next task will be getting her to sleep in her crib in her own room. She currently sleeps in her pack 'n' play in our room, but I think her and I both are ready for our own rooms b/c currently dad and I are sleeping in the living room. All the noise she makes is starting to keep me awake and vise versa.
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Sorry LaNita - I didn't realize I just used the initials! WI/WO stands for Walk In/Walk Out and is (I believe) only used for older babies. There is lots about this method on the Toddler Sleep Boards. Here is a link that describes the two methods we used (Gradual Withdrawal and WalkIn/WalkOut) for our Toddler who had many NW and now with the help of BW methods - is a much better sleeper!
https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=80750.0
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ok i think i have a success story regarding NW for our 5.5 month old!
she was waking 8 times a night, sometimes to be replugged with her paci and sometimes from hunger. we changed 3 things and 2 weeks later things are a whole lot better!!
1) weaned from the paci - this was not as hard as i thought it would be and soooo worth it! we went cold turkey and introduced a lovey that she can cuddle and control herself. now she can put herself to sleep and if she wakes in the night she can put herself back to sleep without me.
2) increased A times during the day. our "ideal" schedule is now 2 long naps and no catnap, which works because she can tolerate the longer A times without getting OT. i think a lot of the time i was putting her down for naps when she wasn't tired enough and so she would take a short nap and that would throw off the schedule for the rest of the day.
3) started her on food. she was legitimately hungry when waking up at night, so i was feeding her and she was waking up due to this. increasing her food and supplementing with formula (BF baby) helped to decrease the hunger related NW.
so, it's been about a week of really good sleep (hope i'm not jinxing myself here) and i am only waking once to feed...which i'll try to wean her from that maybe in another month.
so not sure which was the most important piece, i think all were important...it's tough to figure it out, you really have to look at everything! and then when you figure it out it all changes right! anyway, i hope this info helps someone :)
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I've been encouraged by your stories of perseverance & success. . .my DS (Baby #3) is 7.5 old and wakes frequently at night. Thought he was hungry til recently reading BW. . .DH is in month 12 of a 15 month deployment to Afghanistan. . .so I need all the cheering on I can get. Thanks!
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I have a success stopry similar to brenda2 and I am very pleased with myself so far! Our DD is almost 4.5mo and was waking every hour after midnight quite frequently. She always went back to sleep quickly when we put the dummy back in so I decided that was the problem and started weaning about 5 days ago. Now, every night (and naps) are getting better and better. Just last night (and todays naps) she has started settling herself when she wakes up and I only got up twice last night (both times were her feed times anyway). Today she has even settled herself off to sleep for her nap without me hanging round/hand on chest/etc. I just left the room and she went off to sleep. Yay!!!
I am also encouraged by brenda's use of starting solids at this age as my LO is also hungry twice in the night so I am feeding her then but maybe solids is the next step. She is showing interest in my food and opening her mouth when I move things close to her while I am eating!
I hope things continue to get better and better but I can definitely recommend weaning from the dummy if you are like me and having to get up to re-plug multiple times in the night. I just went cold turkey and stopped using it in 1 day but I know there are gentler methods if this seems too daunting. Good luck with other successes.
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I think I have a success story .... although I am almost reluctant to post as i don't want to jinx it! Our DD is 9.5 mo and since about 3 mo (when she cut her first teeth) she has been waking anywhere from 2 to 8 times a night. Obviously some of these were for a feed but often she would wake for no apparent reason and take up to 2 hours to resettle!! And it was horrible resettling her as she cried and cried. Poor thing. My DD, DH and I were all zombies. For the last month we have been down to one or two night wakings which are usually for a discernable reason (such as coming out of blankets or loss of dummy) and she is easy to settle most of the time.
The main things we changed were reintroducing the swaddle and dummy! I know this goes against most of the posts on here but it worked for us, so hey! The other big thing, which also seems to defy logic, is that we went away for a week on holiday. Things definitely started to improve after this. I think that sleeping in a different environment just broke that habit of waking but I don't really know. Maybe she just grew out of it!
Anyway, that's our story. I hope that those who are enduring NW's get some sleep soon.
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Thanks for posting, Mumble!
xx
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Wow, just a couple of weeks ago I never thought I would be posting my success story here. My 6-month-old son had reflux and in the beginning woke as often as every 45 minutes at night, with his longest stretch usually just 3-4 hours. I was going crazy with the sleep deprivation. I would try giving him the paci when he woke or shush-pat him back to sleep, only to have him wake up an hour later crying again. He wasn't well rested either, and had very short awake times during the day. We were <this> close to doing cry it out.
So what changed?? I had to stop breastfeeding so I could start a new medication. After his first day on almost all formula, he slept for 8 hours straight. The next night, he slept almost 12 hours, waking only once for the pacifier! It's been like this for a week now. I feel like a new woman.
So there are two morals to this story. First, my son really was waking from hunger and shush-pat/paci were futile and just causing him to wake more often. Cry it out would have been cruel! Second, if you are seriously sleep deprived and your health is at risk, consider supplementing with formula or doing formula all together. Hope this helps!
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Marty - I am so pleased things are going better for you!!
xx
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it's 1 week we sleep all night!!!!! ;D
alleluja! davide awoke two or three times a night to have the paci or to drink. first of all i gave him chamomile instead of milk. then i was tired. i apply a mix of tracy hogg and estivill methods. he have no problems to asleep by himself in the evening but not so by night, he wanted the paci. so i tried. i give him 3-4 pacies in the bed but not in his mouth. when he awoke i went and tell him to sleep, i cuddled him (in his bed!) and i went away. more and more.
the first night he awoke at 3, i went to him 2 times and then he felt asleep. then at 6, he grumbled for 1 hour but i didn't go. the second night he awoke anly at 6, i went to him 1 times, and then till 8 o clock ....ahhhhhh
from the third night he sleeps from 9pm to 7-8am!!!!
now i must apply the same method for the naps because after 45min he awake... during the day he uses the paci now, but i must do like the nights....
Annalisa
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Success story here with a six-month old. He's sleeping 7pm to 7am, only waking a couple of times a week for a night feed at around 2am which I am more than happy to give.
Before, he was waking up four times a night for a feed and it was killing me.
What we did - and some of it isn't BW so please don't flame!
1. Closed his door. I'd kept it open until we went to bed, and I think the light and noise disturbed him.
2. Worked on his daytime naps and getting him down before he got overtired, so he does 2 x 2 hour naps. He already could self-settle.
3. Dropped the dreamfeed. I tried it for three months and while it worked when he was 8 weeks old, by five months, he was waking for it and the df didn't seem to reduce the nightwakings.
4. TIME! He's growing older and moving around more, so he's more physically tired and his naps naturally extended, helping his night time sleep.
5. We began solids and now he has three solid meals a day, followed by breastfeeds.
6. A slightly earlier bedtime. We aim for 6.45pm-7pm rather than 7.15-7.30pmish and it seems to help.
7. Ignored his 10pm calling when he would wake for the dreamfeed.
I'd tried both sshh-pat and PU/PD for weeks on end and neither of them worked. Both seemed to stimulate my textbook/touchy son too much.
So after doing some reading we DID do our own form of controlled crying, just went in every five minutes to check him for two nights.
The first night, he called for ten minutes, the second night for three minutes, and then the next night he suddenly stopped waking at ALL and not just at 10pm, but for the rest of the night for the first time in his life. And it's been that way for two weeks now, with a few 2am feeds.
Again, I know the last is not BW but it worked. I have a feeling that he wasn't "crying" as such. He wasn't yelling his heart out, as my husband pointed out, I simply was rushing in too soon. When I listened, I realised what I thought was "crying" was really just fussing and mantra crying, and ignoring it really helped.
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Annalisa :) so glad to read that things are improving for you :D Thanks for sharing with us.
Lex444, great success story it sounds like you worked out what works for your LO. Lots of people do find that working on OT, day time routine etc does wonders for night sleep.
Just wanted to post a quick reminder that BW philosophy does not support controlled crying or cry it out. Reading your post I wonder if your baby was doing more of a 'mantra cry' and simply standing back and listening to him enabled you to read his cues better :)
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Hello
Sorry i haven't been around much lately.
Thought i would finally write my success story....
So, Louis is 1 now and finally sleeps through the night *most* nights - yippeeeeeee ;D
When i first found this board i was on the verge of a nervous breakdown from months of very frequent night wakings - i had the BW book but needed more support. A huge thanks to everyone who helped especially Bryony, Brenda and Zoey.
How did we get him STTN?
Stopping the night feedings (BF) made the biggest difference, i am a huge BF champion so i don't suggest night weaning lightly but it made a marked difference to us.
Getting him onto a good routine (something i was always reluctant to do and if i'm honest i still do often hate it - but he thrives on it) as this resolved his chronic OT.
Crying, i used to hate hearing him cry and would rush into his room to 'help' him....now i wait and see. TBH he often goes down with proper crying but this only lasts for less than 1 minute so its his sort of mantra cry :)
It took lots of tweaking over a couple of months to see a consistent improvement and like everyone else says you have some setbacks but its so worth it.
To think, at 6 months old he was getting 2 x 45 min naps and a nightime of constantly disturbed sleep and even now at 1yr old he gets naps totalling 3-3.5 hours and 10-11hrs at night!! He is a sleep monster now!
For anyone reading this who is desperate for more sleep, i know it seems impossible to believe now but it will get better. Be consistent, ask for help and stay strong!!!
Sending sleepy vibes to bubbas everywhere
Laura + big boy Louis xx
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What a great success story!!
Thank you for sharing :)
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See here for major inspiration - http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=137879.0
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I have a success story! 8 days to sleepyland! 8 really tough days, but worth it!
My 7 month old was waking a lot, and since 4 months had been mostly sleeping with me -this started with an ear infection and I was worried about him so although I gave him something for the pain I also took him to bed. Then he started crying every time I tried to put him in the crib, so we started holding him for naps. I have a busy 3 year old too, so we just sort of lost track of his schedule for a while, since he is generally very easygoing during the day, bu tthe nights were getting worse and worse.
Here's what I did - starting 8 days ago only!
-did pu/pd in crib and didn't take him into my bed again, not even for a cuddle. I nursed him only once around 4 am. did this for 3 nights, and I could tell it was taking fewer and fewer times to pu/pd. Counting helped me not give up - I set the expectation low, I told myself I could do it 100 times if necessary. But I didn't have to. He did wake up about 10 times the first few nights, but less and less each night.
-He was waking a lot, so I thought maybe he was OT from all the Pu/pd so I had to concentrate on extending his naps
-To complicate it all, he got constipated for a few days and I think he woke more - but sorted this out and then he slept
- he still has a paci, but I don't think he uses it as a prop - he doesn't wake when it falls out.
-After 3 nights, I settled him with just my hand and voice, don't pu unless he really cries
-now after 8 nights he has slept 8 pm to 530 am for two nights in a row! He is hungry and goes back to sleep after nursing at 5 ish.
I'm a very very happy mummy!!! and thanks so much to all the posts I read in my sleep deprived haze, the info on this site helped enormously!
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Just wanted to share that last week my 6 month old, who sleeps 12 hours straight through normally, was waking 6, 7, or 8 times a night for two nights. I was at my wit's end trying to problem solve: teeth, growth spurt, gas, reaction to solids, etc. etc.
In the end you know what it was? She was cold.
Normally she sleeps in a fleece sleeper and sleeping bag at home because her room is chilly, but we are staying at a different house and I thought the room she was in was warm enough so I didn't put the sleeping bag on...
By the third night, I put it back on, and no more night wakings. She sleeps in an undershirt, a fleece sleeper and the sleeping bag, and it was 21 degrees in her room, so she must like to be toasty warm.
Just one of the things we might forget to check when dealing with NWs.
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I can't even believe that I am posting on this thread. I honestly never ever thought that things would improve. My LO is now 10 months old. For the first 5 1/2 months he woke every 30-60 minutes, EVERY night :'( I was an exhausted, depressed, stressed out and completely hopeless new mom. At 3 months, after desperately reading every sleep book i could get my hands on, I found BW. I charted everything...probably a bit too obsessively, but I was determined to make things better. It took some time and A LOT of patience but at 5 1/2 months LO went from waking about 10 times a night to waking up just once!!! I was beyond thrilled but also completely skeptical that this would actually stick. To my surprise and joy, my LO has never gone back to waking up every hour. We do have some rough nights here and there from teething, or colds but even then, it's nothing like the first 5 months. I can't speak highly enough of this website and the support that I have received here. The moms who have helped me through my tears, my rage, my desperation...I will never forget. For those of you who are fumbling through sleepless night after night, please believe me when I say that it does get better and that the techniques in BW really do work (especially pu/pd for us.) Hang in there. I know how hard it is. I know how frustrated and frantic you can feel. I know how enraging it is to hear other moms talking about their 8 week olds who STTN!!! You want to just punch them. Only after I started sleeping better did I even realize that I wasn't fully enjoying being a mom and bonding with my new baby. Once I started sleeping more and more, I noticed that my love for my baby grew exponentially. It wasn't that I was mad at him and that's why I wasn't feeling the love. I loved him but I was so, so messed up from the ongoing sleep deprivation, that I was barely functioning and just on autopilot. Now that things are so much better, I can look back at that time (still with a pit in my stomach) and see that all of that difficulty, all of those sleepless nights spent with my baby, actually deepened our bond beyond words. Sure, I would have loved for him to STTN months earlier but I feel like we worked through all of that difficulty together and I truly understand every bit of him. I love him so much that my heart aches. I am proud of him and proud of myself for making it through.
I won't lie. I am terrified of having another baby. I'm terrified of having a repeat experience but I don't think it's actually possible. I will follow the advice of BW from day one with baby #2. I have a much better sense of how to handle numerous, numerous sleep issues. I know it will be different...but the internal damage that was done during those first 5 months is still hard to completely get over. I see a therapist and I started on zoloft about 2 months ago. I feel like I'm working through a lot and everything is just getting better and better.
Stay strong, stay positive but allow yourself to breakdown and cry. It's not easy but it really, really does get better. Sending my love and support to all of you. Words cannot express the gratitude I feel for all the moms who have helped me during these past 10 months. You truly are my angels.
All my love :-*
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First night trying to resolve NW in my 9-month old DD and already a great success! I admit I was relying on memory instead of consulting the BW, so I thought the recommended solution to NW was only to increase daytime feedings, but DD is stubborn about eating and when she's done, she's done plus we BF so I thought that just didn't apply to us. Then last night I was flipping through the BW and saw that I should try wake-to-sleep since she was waking at the same times consistently every night. So I set my alarm to wake an hour before her 1:00 am wakeup and went to jostle her and stick the pacifier back in her mouth - she grunted and rolled her head back and forth, but stayed down, and then slept through her normal wakeup. For the second waking, I wasn't able to pry the pacifier into her mouth without fearing to wake her completely so I just left it. I believe if I had been able to get it in (she was rolled onto her tummy) she would have likely slept through the second waking as well. But I still call sleeping from 7:40 - 4:30 with a 9:30 dream feed a great success! My alarm will be set for wake-to-sleep tonight and I'll be sure to get that pacifier in her mouth to see if that was the difference or if she just needed to keep one NW for the beginning. I'm cautiously hopeful that she'll again be STTN by the weekend, since she's responded so beautifully to PU/PD and other BW techniques.
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Day three of W2S and I haven't been able to get her to sleep through the second NW. I decided to address them one at a time, so last night I only set my alarm to go for the first one and let her wake on her own for the second. She went through the first one as she had since the first day of W2S and then woke an hour earlier than her normal wakeup. I plan to give her three days on her own hopefully only NW once and then try to W2S and get the second NW resolved. Cross your fingers! Already great improvements!
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I’ve finally fulfilled my ambition of posting something on the success stories section as my dd has now been sleeping through for 3 weeks, so I consider that to be pretty much established – hooray! I’ve had some amazing help and support from the BW community through this site, especially these experts and moderators who I can’t thank enough: Sara (Tersaseda), Emma (Brodie’s Mummy), Jo (Caleb’s Mummy), Yazzie (Adam’s Mum), Jane (Jay3), First Time Mom and Evgenia. I’m nowhere near their level of expertise, but thought I’d share what I’ve learnt in case its of any use to anyone reading who is in the same position I was in 4 months ago when I first started BWing with my then 5 month old.
My dd is 9 months old and although we aren’t 100% perfect on the sleep front, I’m more than happy with it. She currently sleeps for between 11.25 and 12.25 hours each night, rarely wakes, but if she does she settles herself within a minute or less. She usually only takes one decent nap (sometimes am, sometimes pm) and the other is usually short (always 35 mins) but she seems happy with the sleep she’s getting, so maybe that’s all she needs (she usually gets about 2 hours sleep in total during the day). When I started BWing I was absolutely desperate, although determined not to use CC/CIO, and I was fairly sceptical about it working even though I spoke about it confidently to my dh. I think in the back of my mind I was hoping we could just hire someone to come to our house and solve all our problems like magic (like Tracy used to do)!
DD started off life as a great sleeper (she is spirited but I think there’s a bit of angel in there somewhere too) and often slept for 6 or 7 hour stretches from being only a few weeks old, even though she was exclusively bf’d. Then I began to have problems bfing, really BAD problems (thats another story!) which resulted in alot of broken sleep for both of us and feeding was always very stressful and tearful. It also meant I was very inconsistent with her sleep. Sometimes she came into my bed when dh was working nights, sometimes I tried to keep her all night in her moses basket, which was sometimes upstairs and sometimes downstairs in the (light, noisy) living room. We had no bedtime routine, no nap routine, I always put the lights on to feed her during the night, I did LOADS of ap-ing (feeding to sleep, rocking, music, etc) ... the list of errors goes on! I tried the No-Cry sleep books and just couldn’t get them to work, in hindsight this was because I kept on trying to feed her to sleep and she needed to break that association, but I wasted alot of time on them. This resulted in my dd being even more confused (and my dh) and me getting less and less sleep and doing more and more ap-ing. By the time I came across Tracy’s book by chance on Amazon (and was attracted to all the positive reviews) she usually woke over 20 times per night, only slept in her crib if she was sneaked in there asleep, and never slept longer than 90 mins. Her longest nap time was 15 mins and she was permanently grumpy and tired (as was I). She had extremely long NWs too, her record was 5 hours (I’ll never forget it, from 1.00am til 6.00am when the birds were singing and the sun coming up).
My relationship with dh was getting seriously rocky and I would have signed an affidavit to swear I would never have another baby. I felt I was letting them both down and I was a miserable, exhausted, depressed, snappy, pale, spotty, anti-social, wreck. I didn’t enjoy my dd as much as I should have done, we hardly ever left the house and basic things like cooking a meal or speaking to my Mum seemed like an effort. In short, other than throwing health problems into the mix (and luckily my dd has had no reflux or teething or anything else to make things worse) it was about as bad as it gets for my family.
To begin with the BWing was very hard to stick with, it was such a radical departure from what I’d been doing and although he was a great support, dh didn’t have that much time to help (working and studying combo) but I’m SO glad I carried on. It took no time to see small changes but longer than I’d expected (about 3 months) to achieve the success we’re now enjoying. If you are just starting and finding it hard going, STICK WITH IT, it really works. If Tracy developed this from working with over 5000 babies, yours will be no different (like mine wasn’t, although I was convinced she would be). DD now goes straight to sleep as soon as she’s lowered into her cot and it takes only a couple of mins (into the dark room, into her grobag, into her cot) to settle her for naps and night time sleep.
I have resisted using pu/pd partly because I know it would be exhausting and partly because I’m unsure it would work on my spirited lo, I just see it as a last resort that so far I’ve never had to use. So to begin with (dd was 5mo) we used sh-pat and followed the plan in the BWSAYP book on p.32 (except for the pu/pd part), radically changing everything about how we facilitated dd’s sleep. She found it hard at first, had to be helped to sleep constantly, and still woke alot during the night. But within a few days there were noticeable improvements, as the new experience of consistency began to sink in for her. Her NWs reduced in number and length and she started to take 3 naps a day (albeit with alot of support). She still wasn’t sleeping independently but at least I knew what to do when she woke.
Sometimes the sh-pat sessions were themselves exhausting and I regularly leaned over her crib for 90 or more minutes at a time, gradually reducing my sound and touch, only to find she woke up again after 5 minutes, then I started again. But slowly, over the weeks, there were improvements and then they plateaud .... I didn’t realise it at the time but I was intervening far too much. I used to stay in the room for all her naps and sleep right beside her crib (at the foot of my bed). Whenever she moved, murmured or made any sound at all, I was so paranoid that she would feel alone that I leapt up and intervened, never giving her the chance to settle herself and probably creating (or cementing) an inability to transition through sleep cycles.
Throughout this I sought support and advice from the naps and NW boards and always got kind, patient and knowledgeable input. I could never have got where I am without their help, not least because my interpretation of Tracy’s books was often limited and it took a fresh perspective to make me realise why. In one of her sleep interviews, Tracy says that ultimately you can’t keep relying on books, instead you have to learn to read your baby yourself. Like learning a new language, at first I found this prospect so intimidating as to seem virtually impossible. I didn’t understand more than a few phrases but the ladies on these message boards are all fluent, they translated for me, and now I can at least understand the basics.
Eventually, we succeeded in a few significant changes (in no particular order) which got us here:
1. Dropping the cn (6.5mo) which had always been the easiest nap of the day, then one day, literally without warning, dd refused it and never took one since!
2. Dropping the df (at 8mo) which I phased out gradually. By this time, dd was having one bottle of formula a day at the df (dh loved to do it), so I watered it down more and more over about 8 days then stopped it altogether. All in all it was a success and totally painless, she woke around that time, habitually, for a few nights afterwards but was easy to resettle.
3. Dropping the night feeding altogether (8m 1w old). The first time she STTN was the first night with no feeding at all. She had been keeping up a habitual (but genuine ‘learned hunger’) feed around 3am for ages and I was having limited success in reducing the time I did it for (it was a bf). Then she slept through til 5.30am and the habit was broken, so I resolved not to give her any more NFs again. Instead she had the same quantity of milk before bedtime (before PJs) to ‘tank her up.’ It was tempting to give her a bit of milk when she woke around that time for a few nights, as it sometimes took up to an hour to resettle her, but within a week or so she slept through that time. A Peadiatrician told me that a baby needs to be about 16lb before their stomach is large enough to hold enough food/milk to keep them going through the night - this weight is reached at different ages for different LOs so its best to go by weight rather than age when working out whether its fair to expect your LO not to need night feeds. As it happens, my DD wasn't weighed on the day she first STTN, but from working it out on her chart she was about ... 16lbs!
4. Sleeping in her own cot in her own room. DD was in a moses basket at first, then an intermediate crib, so when it was time to move her into her own room (7mo), I did it gradually by moving the crib a foot or so at a time, out of our room, across the landing and into her room over several days. The crib then sat inside her new larger cot for a few nights until she got used to that and finally she went into her big new cot. It worked beautifully and she accepted the changes easily. In hindsight she should have been moved sooner as dh and I really were tiptoeing around our bedroom, whispering, cautious of even turning over in case it made a noise!
5. Sleeping truly independently. DD was about 6mo before I had the confidence and courage to really put her down awake and not intervene to get her off to sleep. She took to it instantly, I was amazed! From then on I did less and less to put her down and now its just the right wind down and atmosphere in the room forming a sleep cue, so I just put her grobag on, pop her in the cot with some goodnight words and she sends herself off.
6. Resettling herself. I never properly identified the mantra cry so just thought she didn’t have one and that didn’t apply to us, but I was intervening too much when she woke (or before she woke). Sara the Naps Moderator switched the lightbulb on for me by convincing me to listen when she stirred and hang back, to really wait for the ‘I need you’ cry and not go in unless I heard it. I’m not very good at cries, but that one rises in pitch and volume and never lets up. It made an enormous difference immediately, as dd had been mantra crying about 90% of the time that I was rushing to her side! Overnight she started resettling herself most of the time once I let her and she never cried for more than 2 minutes maximum (usually more like 10 seconds on average). I felt terrible thinking of all the times she had been trying to settle herself and I dived on her, touching, patting, sh-ing, talking, etc. I must have been annoying her so much!
7. Tweaking and almost perfecting the EASY routine, especially the A times. We’re still not quite there as her naps aren’t always great, but adjusting A times has been key in improving both day and night sleep for us. At first I didn’t see how they could make much difference, especially not adjusting by 5 or 10 minutes, but they really do, and sleep really does beget sleep. I can see now when my LO is OT (and that she was OT for months before this programme began to help us) and the EWs this causes are like the false dawn I get after a night of stress or a few drinks (a distant memory!), and truly cannot be helped by a later bedtime as I had tried at first.
8. Not being changed at night. My LO has always been in real nappies, which are great for the bank balance/conscience, but need changing more frequently than disposables. Once I was trying to get her to STTN I started using disposables at night only, in the hope she wouldn't need changing. I tried every brand but every night at least once she had a soaked leg and clothing (she slept lying on her side) and everything had to come off and be changed, which was hardly sleep-inducing. All Mums who use disposables seem to be loyal to one brand and many won't agree with me, but I found when I tried them last (because they're the most expensive!) that Pampers night time ones worked! They fitted perfectly and can hold 12 hours worth of wee! And in the end they cost less, because I literally only every use one pernight, instead of 2 or 3 cheaper ones.
I hope some of this can help you if you’re in the same place I was in a few months ago, and however hard you’re finding it, it will pass quickly and you’ll be glad you stuck with it. Although I felt like I was in hell for a while, I can honestly say I'm glad to have gone through it all, as through trying to really understand my baby's communications, I feel miles closer to her, and that I know her so much better. One thing I read which helped me during long and difficult NWs was that you should imagine yourself in 5 or 10 years time looking back at this .... will you be proud of how you handled this situation?
Finally, here are some little tips that I learned the hard way!
• Get a chair or stool for marathon sh-pat sessions, otherwise your back may never recover! I found a small child’s chair was perfect for sitting alongside my dd’s crib
• If you hear your LO stirring for a NW/EW you will have at least 10 or 20 seconds grace before you may be needed so use the time to sip your water/visit the loo, otherwise you’ll need to when you are stuck in there for ages!
• Darken the room by really blacking it out, use foil, paper, anything. We currently have a blackout blind AND a black tablecloth nailed over the window in DDs room, It doesn’t exactly look like a showroom but it works!
• Radio 4/BBC World Service on a low volume is a fine substitute for a white noise machine (lovely talking voices, hardly any music), and if you get it through a clock radio, you can always see the time when you’re in the dark with your LO
• Grobags instead of blankets (once they’re a few months old and can’t wriggle inside them) can’t be kicked off or over the head. Genius.
• Tuck your child’s lovey in between you when you feed so it seems safe and familiar, and picks up your scent too. I bf’d my dd and tucked the lovey over the other breast during feeds.
• When your LO is tiny, cold sheets can wake them up when they are laid down, so dh used to take the mattress out of the moses basket and lay on it for 5 mins so warm it up while I was winding dd down. DH liked having this job and DD got the scent of Daddy on the sheets too.
• If you have to get your LO to take a nap somewhere else (don't make a habit of it), make it the cn, and buy a travel cot. Ours was a pop-up one that folded up to a very small neat size in a little bag, and was £10 from ebay – the best and most well-used thing we ever bought, I think! You can take your familiar sheet, lovey, music, etc with you to make a home away from home for sleeping purposes.
• If you have an ipod or MP3, put your wind down music on it for naps away from home, and get a battery operated speaker, so it can be used abroad, in the car, in a power cut, anywhere!
• You have to be committed to see changes, and you have to make your LO’s sleep a priority, but sometimes its okay to do things to protect your mental/emotional health, like go out and let your LO have a sling/pram/car nap, see friends, get a coffee or go shoe shopping - take a break from baby/sleep obsessing, just for a couple of hours and it will recharge your batteries .... and if you’ve been really stressed it can break the cycle of transmitting this to your LO and I’ve found it can somehow reboot your BWing if you’re at that point.
Good luck, you can do it!
Louise
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Louise, I am just bawling over here from happiness!! I am so, so, so (ad infinitum) proud of you and Ms. Flossie :) Thank you for sharing all that you've learned through your Baby Whispering journey! Would you believe it if I said that YOU are now the expert? ;) *hugs*
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;D I hope I'm not celebrating my success prematurely, but I'm just so thrilled w/ what my little man has accomplished. He is 7 1/2 weeks old and has just learned to drift off to sleep on his own. I'm so excited by this!! Since about 3 or 4 weeks old, he has really struggled to fall asleep even if we are holding him. He would squirm, kick and cry until he'd just give up in exhaustion. Well, this week we REALLY started to watch his awake time and dialed it back down to just 45 minutes. On a whim, while he was not settling in my arms I thought, "I wonder if he doesn't want to be held?". Lo and behold, he was quiet when I laid him down. He just looked around, sucked on his paci and got drowsy. Eventually he fussed, I went in and did a quick hold and "shh", laid him back down and he drifted off to sleep on his own. I could NOT believe it. Naps are still a little bit more of a struggle, but with one or two visits from mom reassuring him, he's going to sleep on his own. Who knew that my holding him while crying could be what was causing the sleep issue in the first place???
Thanks for all the advice!! Now if I can just get him past the 20, 30 and 40 minute wakes up during nap time we'll be in great shape!!
Thanks,
Trisha
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Well, I didn't post the first time DS started STTN at 2.5 months, and I'm glad I didn't, because at 4 months it ended, and the NW's continuef on for the next few months. I had practically forgotten what it was like. However, at 7.5 months, he has been STTN from 8:30pm-8am for over a month now.
There were several things that I believe influenced this. First, he had become a bit binky dependent because of teething, and after just a couple of days of using the gentle removal plan, he was down to one or two wakings. For the longest time, I was trying to avoid feeding him for ANY of his wakings, but then I realized that this had dragged on since his last GS, so I began feeding him if he woke up after 4am. We started solids when he turned 6 months, and I think that helped as he is now getting what he needs during the day without that 5am feed. I guess my milk just wasn't quite enough for him any more.
The final thing that changed (and I think this made the biggest difference) was that I stopped hanging around so long. For awhile, he had been falling asleep on his own without any trouble, at both nap and bed times. With teething though, he got a litle clingy and we were stuck in a pattern where I had to go in after 15 minutes to help him settle to sleep. Finally, I realized that he had become dependent on me to help him get to sleep, so when he would roll around and get himself stuck, I would just go in, turn him back around, give him his paci, say our key phrase and leave. Within two naps, he settled himself in 10 minutes (up in the top corner of his crib), and within a few days, he STTN for the first time in months, and it has continued! I just needed to step back and let him do things on his own.
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I need a success story with 3-3.5 months old. anyone have?
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Ima1015 - You may be hard-pressed to find a lasting success story for a baby that young. My DS started sleeping through at 2.5 months, but by 4 months was waking 2-3 times a night, which lasted for over two months. Granted, I'm sure you can cut down on night wakings, but many LOs at that age still need one feed in the early AM. This is what I found anyway, after months of struggling to never feed him unless he clearly seemed hungry. We did the DF, we did a 4 or 5am feed, then he would sleep unti WU time. This was much less stressful, and he eventually stopped waking for the morning feed (after we started solids). So my biggest advice is to not be too hard on yourself or expect too much from yourself and your LO. Full STTN will come with age and continued sleep training, but for now just figure out what will work to get both of you the most sleep.
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Hello! This is my first time posting here, and wasn't sure whether to post here or in the PU/PD success stories...A little background about my situation:
I have a 4 and a half year old daughter and a 6 month old son. My daughter was "spirited" (aka high maintenance) from day one and we allowed her to rule our lives - she never napped well and slept in our bed for 3 and a half years! When my son was born, I was determined not to make the same mistakes with him and, at first, it seemed that there would be no issue as he was/is such an easy, laid back baby. For the first 3 months he napped and slept really well - though always after rocking or breast feeding. There were very few wakings - every 3-4 hours to feed at night, which I could cope with. At 3 months, he started sleeping for 5-6 hour stretches and I thought we had cracked it. However, then he went through a growth spurt and I began feeding at night every 2 hours or so. Right after that he began waking with teething pains so every two hours or so I would get up, rock him, and comfort him back to sleep. I only realised this had become a real problem when, after 2 months, he was still waking every 2 hours, every night - you could set your clock by him! I had been reading these boards and also started reading Tracy's books and decided that I needed to act NOW! A week ago, I tweaked my daytime routine to EASY and started PU/PD for sleeping and naps. The first time I used it, he got really mad and cried for about 20 minutes but napped for an hour and a half - in two months he had not napped longer than 30 minutes unless in the stroller! Next naptime he only cried for 10 minutes and napped another hour and a half. Bedtime was a little tougher - cried for about 20 minutes and LOTS of PU/PD BUT he slept for 6 hours - and this was only the first day!!!!!!!!!! Next day was the same, but less PU/PD needed and another 6 hours at night - on waking he went back to sleep by himself after about 10 minutes of baby talk. The third night we got 12 hours, and the fourth, too. The fifth day was a disaster as hubby was in charge while I was out with my daughter. He didn't stick to the routine and fed him to sleep. That night he was up every 2 hours again and took half an hour to settle each time. Makes me really appreciate how important routine and consistency is. I am just so happy to be getting some sleep again! Thank You all for your help and advice... ;D
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This may be a glimmer of hope to all mom's out there having a tough time....My (almost) 8 month old daughter started waking up 5-7 times a night after sleeping through the night since 13 weeks. It only happened for a few nights, but I knew I had to change something quick! She had been sleeping with a woombie and pacifer but I suspected these were the problem. I threw the pacifiers away and took away the woombie (I used a sleeping bag called a zipadeezip for a week, then used nothing). I was expecting to have quite a few sleepless nights but I was totally wrong! She fussed for about 30 mins the next 3 nap/bedtimes and that's it! I think that we (moms) are attached to some of these props more than the babies! :) Stay strong and remember that it gets better!
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Thanks for sharing, ladies! It gives us all lots of encouragement :)
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Just ONE WEEK to REAL SLEEP!
Our son had been a good little sleeper from birth until 4 months old. Around 4 months old, his growth slowed. Our pediatrician advised waking him every 3 hours for a night feeding to get his growth back on track. This, along with the standard 4-month sleep regression, created a MONSTER. For the next three months he woke every three hours, without fail. We do side-lying nursing (even during the day), so this evolved into quasi-cosleeping. Except I wouldn't sleep. I would just doze. Obviously it wasn't working for us.
Finally when he was 7.5 months old we realized that we were SO exhausted (and I was a crab box)! I came here for help and katie80 (a moderator) assessed our situation and gave us some great advice. That first night was rough, but every subsequent night we could see that we were making progress. Just one week (!!!) after that first night the night waking situation is SO much better. We've had several nights where he's slept through the night (with evidence that he found/adjusted a pacifier on his own at some point in the night). When he does wake and fuss in the night, all he needs is help finding his pacifier--place it in his hand and he's out like a light.
I was absolutely not okay with "cry it out," but co-sleeping wasn't working for us. This method was the compromise I needed. There was some crying involved, but one of us was always there patting/shushing so he knew he wasn't alone.
Here's my original thread for more specifics on our situation and what worked: http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=230804.0
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Way to go! I'm so glad your LO--and YOU!!--is getting the rest he needs :)
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I am VERY happy to report a BIG success story. With advice from this forum and after reading "The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems" I made some big changes which have paid off! My seven month old was not sleeping more than 60 minutes at a time and seemingly had to sleep in bed with me. I was ready to pitch myself out a window (I am barely joking!) But within a week of changing her daytime schedule and practicing PU/PD properly she is sleeping up to 10 hours at a time!
First, the schedule. I had been trying to follow the Gina Ford schedule for quite a while but it was really stressing me out and I found very difficult to follow. I would be constantly referring to the book and getting really worried. After advice on the BW forum, I shifted my LO to being awake at more regular intervals (approximately three hours at a time) and then having more even naps (approx. one-to-two hours at at time) but usually no more than 2.5 hours daytime sleep. I also stretched out her milk feeds as she had turned into a serial-snacker and wouldn't take more than 3/4oz at at time (now her record is 7.5oz). Here is her rough schedule (but note, it does change somewhat day-to-day):
7am wake and milk-feed
8am solids breakfast, after which she has a vigorous play to burn off the energy
10am sleep (with a wind-down beforehand)
11/11.30am wake and milk-feed
12pm solids lunch, again another vigorous play. Usually try and get outside before the next nap.
2.30pm sleep
3.30/4pm awake and milk-feed
5.30pm solids dinner, followed by a play and bath
6.30pm milk-feed
7/7.30pm bed (with a good 20min wind-down)
then she is usually waking early morning (anywhere between 1-5am) for a dreamfeed
I use the PU/PD method to put her to sleep. Before reading the BW forum, I really thought I would have to resort to CIO, which was rather gut-wrenching to me; I really didn't think I had it in me. But I read how to do PU/PD properly and I really thought it would work for us both. And it did. So usually I will get her drowsy with some cuddles and patting. Then I put her down in her crib. If she mantra-cries and yabbers I don't tend to touch her at all, just sit by the crib. If she goes into crazy scream mode, I pick her up, sometimes shoosh-pat her but it is important I read her mood as sometimes this sends her more crazy. If she starts to back-arch and scream harder I put her back down and let her get it out on her own in the crib; if after a minute she doesn't get it out of her system and shift to a mantra cry then I pick her up again and hit repeat. Often I will just put my hand on her bum, or tummy, just so she knows I am there. When I started the sleep training I would have to PU/PD lots but now I barely do it at all, sometimes I don't even need to; sometimes now she goes down within a minute. And with this method she stays down....I hear her wake up through the night and she has a yabber/mantra cry and puts herself back to sleep without me needing to even go in there. If she does a shrill cry I know she can't put herself back down and go in as she is probably hungry (she usually only shrill cries now after 3am and only once). I should mention I am no longer sleeping in the same room with her; I feel that has made a big difference. I should also mention she is also taking solids now which is also helping her sleep better through the night. Another thing to mention; I had previously been using a pacifier and white noise, along with rocking her and "boobing" her to sleep (yes all the things you are not meant to do!) I went cold-turkey on all of it! I know they say to gradually phase out things, but I was kinda desperate and while it was a little painful those first few days, it was much better than spending 4-6am with her screaming. I found that removing all the aides immediately was key.
So I have gone from my LO not sleeping more than 60 minutes at a time, to sleeping up to 10-hour stretches. All in one week! Yes one week!! I wouldn't believe it myself if it didn't happen to me.
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Hey!
Well, I have to write about our success too :)
My DD is a tough nut to crack... she was having trouble with sleep from birth to about 6 months! It was a few times when I wanted to quit and just go but this forum helped me carry on and teach her how to do it. We went from a few short and broken naps during the day and waking up every 2 hours in the MOTN to 2 naps of about 1-2 hours and let's say 7.30-7.30 sleep and waking up 1-2 times. We went from not being able to self soothe to falling asleep on her own, usually after 5 minutes.
She is still very sensitive to every change in her day and we still don't have a steady schedule (so sometimes she is not ready to nap at all and we have problems) but it's a huge improvement. She is happier, I am happier and well rested to cope with her. At almost 9 months she is on her way to walking already!
So a thousand thanks to this forum, the book (which I lend to a friend who is having trouble too :)) and to Katie80 and Erin M! (((hugs)))
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Hooray! So glad for you both :)
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It took me forever to write this post - started many times but never finished - in the meantime we have other issues you know how that goes ;D but I wanted to write this:
My LO is spirited baby with low needs sleep and it is complicated with sleeping - you can not put her sleep UT, if she is OT she can not fall asleep, she is always in the action etc etc... In addition to regular phases that were going on: napping problems, waking after 45 min, 3-2 transition we had CONSTANT long NW 2 hr in average since she was 4 months old - actually all "fun" started with developmental milestone In total we had 5 months long NW with I could say maybe 15 days without them - so it was 4.5 months of having coffee between 2-4 am or 3-5 am.
I spent 2 months and 7 days on this board - each day complaining, posting and with generous help of becj86 & Erin long NW were gone! They were answering EACH day looking for solution to help us and we made it :). Thank you very much ladies we appreciate it. Thank you to complete forum :)
Who would like to know more or if it could be helpful here is the link: 7.5 mo long NW
Now we have EW and NW again but these are part of 2-1 transition and look completely different than solved one. With my LO it is always some phase :P
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My daughter used to be a great sleeper and then... all of a sudden that changed. I had some major issues with night waking which inevitably had a knock on effect, she ended up waking up after 9am because she was awake so much during the night and then napped later and the snow ball just didnt stop. I couldn't figure out what was going on especially being a mom that follows a routine and structure. there was no teething, she wasnt sick... i was clueless!
until recently she ended up sleeping in our bed because i was really just too exhausted to deal with the constant night wakings... it was like having a newborn all over again, and i really couldnt manage. But the co sleeping created another problem, i became the prop and breastfeeding became her sleep association.
I tried various baby whisperers, one of which just let my child cry for hours with no result several hundred dollars later. Then i tried weaning thinking this may make it easier... all the drama and it didn't help.
Things have turned around...thank god! because i was really reaching a point where sleep was a distant memory, not because my DD was waking as much now that she was with us in the bed, but because i can't sleep through being constantly kicked, hit in the face or slowly edged off the bed.
I found a great app on the apple store called "the baby whisperer" that a friend of mine was using. It was only 99cents and really has really helped me so much! i would highly recommend this app!
my tot is back in her cot, napping and sleeping there at night. She does still wake up once at night but iv really only just started.... so consistency and spousal support is key..which is how i plan to continue to enjoy dreamy nights!