18mo, new daycare, not eating well

[vadensmommy]

Hey all,
This is probably more of a rant/vent than question type thing.  It is 3:30am here, and my 18mo has been crying/fussing off and on for the last hour and a half.  She started a new daycare a week ago, and it is a proper, government regulated place (we're in the states).  Up until now she's been at a babysitter who keeps children in her own home, but was unregulated.  I am happy about the move, but dd is a pretty picky eater, and is served the same meals as all the other kids.  While I am happy she is at least getting presented with a variety of foods - meats and veg especially (as I am not always the best at offering new choices I am 99% sure she'll refuse), she is not eating very well, and it is affecting a few different areas of our lives.

She comes home with a little slip of paper every day that says how she did, and most days she eats "some of the food" offered to her, but rarely "most of it" or "all of it".  I guess that is better than "wasn't hungry today" !  So tonight V drank a really big cup of milk before bed probably total about 14oz or so, then was up at 2am screaming the house down.  I knew she was hungry as she didn't eat much supper either, so I caved and gave her another sippy of milk, but watered it down by half.  She's been fussing on and off for over an hour now since then, and of course I can't get any sleep because of it.  I am really really really really tempted, the next time she starts to cry, to get her up and feed her some yogurt or applesauce or something, because I am super annoyed that I am not sleeping!  I can't send anything with her to daycare to eat because they aren't allowed to give kids food from home, it has to be daycare provided, so my only options are trying to get her full here at home.  Am just frustrated by the fact that I have to give V the foods I know she will eat.  I wish I could just present food to her, and if she didn't eat it, let her go hungry, but this is just what happens, and we're both miserable!!!  I feel like I am teaching her that if she won't eat what is presented, mommy will bend over backwards to get food in her tummy.  I'm already married to a picky eater, I was really hoping our spawn would not be quite so picky!!!
Sorry for the rant.  She is quieter now, am hoping it stays that way, or she may be eating some yogurt at 4am!
Thanks for listening if you made it this far

[Sarahlolly]

Does your lo have just lunch at daycare or is it breakfast and dinner too?

Can you perhaps make more of the meals you have together, that way it doesn't matter too much if she's picky at daycare.  I can't believe you can't send in your own food, or that they can alter what your lo has for lunch!!  That must be so worrying for you.

Do they have snack time at daycare?

Sarah x

[vadensmommy]

Hey Sarah!
We do breakfast at home, which is a change, and it has been entertaining trying to figure out new breakfast foods because weekends were the only times we did breakfast at home (she ate at the sitter's before she started daycare) - typically eggs or pancakes, which she obviously can't have those every day!  So far, she's really excited about breakfast cereal.  She is getting better about feeding herself with a spoon and not getting it absolutely everywhere, so cereal is probably what breakfast will be most days, because the novelty of the spoon really does help her eat better.  Since the spoon is such a novelty, it takes AGES for her to eat.  DH is in charge in the mornings so I can get ready without dd under foot which is great.  But the last two mornings we've had to cut breakfast short to get out the door and to work on time, so we're still tinkering with timings of everything

V does get two snacks at daycare, one is around 9am, and is usually something light like a piece of toast, a pop-tart, graham crackers, etc. and a sippy of milk, which is why they want real breakfast to be done at home.  I usually pick her up before afternoon snack, which is usually water and cookies, and we come home and she has cheese and water or some other healthy snack like fruit. 

I think the main reason you can't bring food for your child is because of the jealousy factor - there's only one bag of snack for your child, but once all the other kids see it, they want it too, but can't have it, major meltdowns ensue, etc.  So it is not a problem for me that I can't send food with her, and I really do want her to learn that she has to eat what is presented to her  

I think a lot of our issues - both night hunger, and some behavior stuff (tantrums and temper) are just related to the upheaval her little life has gone through.  She's been with the same babysitter since 3mo, and now she doesn't see her anymore, and that has to be hard for a little thing like her iykwim?  I have really made a conscious effort to spend good quality time with her when we get home for the afternoon, AND to feed her more.  Tonight we went out to eat, and she ate really well, and then we came home and I managed to get her to take a 4oz container of applesauce AND almost a 4oz container of yogurt.  Still took a large sippy of milk before bed, but managed to spit some of that up due to coughing after she went to bed   On top of everything, she's cutting her 8th tooth, and I think it is causing her some discomfort too as she is taking 30+ minutes to fall asleep at night, and she's gnawing on things she typically wouldn't put in her mouth.

So there's our issues   It could be a lot worse, she could be sick with another ear infection (knock on wood that doesn't happen again anytime soon).  I just get very frustrated with night wakings.  As V has gotten older, I swear her sleep goes through stages where we're up more now than we were when she was a newborn!!   With the move to daycare I anticipated some sleep problems, so I am handling it as best I know how, but am praying we get a full night's sleep tonight.  I get too grumpy with DH when I'm up at night, and that isn't his fault   Thanks for listening and letting me vent!!

[vadensmommy]

UGHHHHHHH
back again
tonight has been another bad night, and we've had quite a few on and off now for the last few weeks.
V didn't eat any lunch again today at daycare - beef stew with rice and pineapples.  Ate maybe a bite or two of the stew and that was it.  She ate a decent breakfast, both snacks at daycare, and a bowl of strawberries and peaches when we got home from daycare.  By 5pm she was crying her eyes out for supper.  She ate spaghetti with meat/tomato sauce.  Loved it!  She ate 3 small portions.  I had to play around with how best to feed it to her.  Chopped up with a spork worked best   We had church tonight, so I knew she was still hungry, but we had to go.  Got back home and gave her a cup of applesauce, as well as a few bites of dry cereal, then it was bedtime, and she had a full 9oz sippy of milk.

She's fussed off and on all night long.  Probably at least 10 times I have heard her cry out.  She is teething as the 4th top tooth is trying to cut through and she's kept her fingers in her mouth all the time, which she NEVER does - is not a real big mouth baby.  So she got Motrin before bed, so at least before 1am, I know the crying out was not from pain.  I did give her a watered down sippy of milk - about half and half at 1:30am because she wouldn't take a sippy of water.  Put her back down where she has continued to cry on and off for the next hour.  Got her up and gave her some tylenol because it was due, and she still cried.  Tried to even put her in the high chair at 2:45 in the morning and feed her some yogurt!!!  She wouldn't eat any.  I am desperate and exhausted.  I finally put her back in the crib and sat next to her while she cried for a few minutes.  It didn't take really long, and since I've left she's cried out twice.  And of course, again, I can't sleep because she's cried so much.

I've really concentrated on trying to fill her up while we are at home, but her appetite is so different from day to day it seems.  Yesterday she was home with my MIL because daycare was closed because we just had a hurricane come through.  She ate a good big brunch, no real breakfast or lunch, then ate an ok supper.  I kept trying to get more food into her at supper, and she just didn't want it!  Didn't even drink her whole sippy of milk before bed, and slept all night long.  Tonight, it just didn't seem like I could get her full, and we've been up a lot tonight.  What gives???  I just don't know what to do.

[vadensmommy]

I seem to like coming here in the middle of the night (it's 4am here).  Probably because I know that if DD cries herself to sleep (with me in room) then we're in for a lot of fussing and up and down.  I just find it impossible to sleep through the fussing and multiple up and downs at night.  I'd rather hang out here and listen to her whine for a while till she's good and asleep before trying to go back to sleep myself

So this is turning into more of a monologue, but that's ok.  I need a place to vent at least.  Went out of town for the afternoon to visit some friends.  Vaden had like 4 sippy cups of milk today.  Maybe a little more than that.  So of course she didn't eat supper very well.  Didn't help that we weren't in our own home environment.  So she's been up and down again tonight.  She cried off and on for an hour before I went in to check on her.  Changed the diaper, gave Motrin -still waiting for that top tooth to come on through - there is a blister there and it is right under the gums, and I know this is not helping the night wakings issues.  Offered her some water, extremely short cuddle, and back in the crib.  I explained to her she can't have milk at night, only water, and set the sippy of water in the crib because she wouldn't take it, already knowing it wasn't milk.  So she cried for about 10 minutes or so.  Easier than I thought it would be *so far*.

We've got to quit giving her milk at night.  It is creating the vicious cycle of not being hungry upon waking, no breakfast, small to no lunch, random dinner - sometimes good, sometimes not, then more milk in the middle of the night and so on and so forth.  Last night she slept great!  Felt wonderful, and night before that she did not, but was at MIL's house so I at least got two full night's sleep back to back.  Last night she ate a great supper.  Bean burrito with some crackers.  We were at our favorite mexican restaurant.  One of the only places we can take her and I am guaranteed that she will eat a super supper

Any words of wisdom from anybody, or dealing with the same issues?  When do they sleep all night every night?  DD has been BW'd since 9wks old, and I swear I am up more now at night than I ever was when she was a newborn.  I am having baby fever BAD, but I can't imagine being preggers with #2, working during the day, and being up this much at night!!!!  AAAGGGGHHHHHH.

The plan for this week will be to not offer milk anymore at night after bedtime sippy of milk, no excuses.  I know I am part of the problem when I give her the sippy, but some nights I literally would get 3 hours of sleep because she cries soooo much off and on.  No excuses this week!  Thanks for listening.

[Colin Macs Mom]

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