Extending Time between feedings

[LivvyLoosMom]

Hi,
I have a 5-month old daughter. She's in 95th percentile for weight but now will only take 2-3 ounces from a bottle or will only nurse on one side, typically 4-7 minutes at most. (She takes after her daddy very much & is almost identical to his weight progressions as a baby.) Prior to Xmas she was taking both breasts or 4 ounces of milk or formula and was on a good 4 hour routine, getting up once a night to nurse. We were out of town for the holiday for 2 wks, then she got a bad cold and severe sore throat upon our return, so dr. said to feed her whenever I could to get her re-hydrated (she was almost hospitalized for dehydration).  She got her first tooth two weeks ago, so I think the combination of our travel, her cold, dehydration, and new tooth have all put us completely off our routine. I try to hold her off with a paci between feedings, but now during the day or night, she wants to eat every 2 1/2-3 hrs.  I don't want to let her cry between meals, but I'm at a loss to figure out what to do.  And the nights are exhausting as well. But when she doesn't eat well during the day, I think she must really be hungry when she wakes at night.  At night, I use the paci to hold her off usually another hour from the first time she wakes, but then when she wakes again she is REALLY hungry. The night nursings go really well, and I feel like she completely drains one side, then falls asleep (I nurse her in bed) and then wakes within 30 minutes and eats for another 5 minutes or so.  Physically, the dr. says she doesn't need to eat at all at night since she's so big, but if she hasn't eaten much during the day - 20 oz. based on my output & bottle feeding - how do I withhold the food?  Sorry this is so long but I need some advice.  Also, I'm new to the site but still can't figure out what your abreviations mean?  LO, DD, etc...  Olivia's temperament is kind of between two types - she rarely cries except when hungry or tired, she travels great and is great with new people, she strikes me as more of an Angel baby but then at times seems definitely Spirited too.  I'll be gone most of the day but will check for questions and replies when I return. Thanks in advance for your help!

[GraceKellysmom]

Have you read either of Tracy's books yet? That may be a good place to start. You've just asked so many questions, most of them about sleep-related topics. Tracy suggests night nursings not be done in your bed - and the baby be returned to their bed after a feeding/burping. My kids both woke to nurse at night until much older, but it was not every 3 hrs. If you want to limit the night feedings, you need to up those calories during the day. Make sure if you are giving formula, you are pumping to keep your supply up.

The abbreviations are explained in the Introductions forum, I think. LO is little one, dd is darling daughter, dh is dear husband, etc.

As for the nursing questions. What happened with nursing/pumping while she was sick? Could it be possible that your supply has changed so she is nursing more often to increase it? I would also check her gums to see if more teeth are coming.

[LivvyLoosMom]

Hi, Yes, I've devoured (over & over) both Tracy's books, and I've been nursing in bed since my letdown is so fast.  I do return her to bed after she nurses the 2nd time, or shortly after the first time if I think she's finished. I do pump to keep my supply up - I get 4-5 ounces when I pump one side for 15 minutes, so I don't think supply is the problem. Her appetite just seems to be "not there" during the day, so I guess I just have to work harder to get her to go longer between daytime feedings so she'll take more. I've been trying it for 2 weeks w/little progress so that's why I wrote in. I don't know how to get her to eat more during the day as I'm doing what Tracy suggests in her books.  I guess I'll just keep after it & try to be more patient!

[GraceKellysmom]

Sometimes withholding feeds at night can help them be more hungry during the day. That is no easy task! I periodically required help from dh to cut those night feeds back. Ds knew I had milk and he held out for it. With dh, he knew he wouldn't get fed. Do you have someone to help you cut down on the night feeding so she'll be hungry during the day?

[LivvyLoosMom]

Thanks for the reply. Yes, my dh could help but I feel bad asking him to stay up at night with her since he works during the day. He says he's willing, but the sleep deprivation seems to be hard on him. Do any other moms feel the same way? I am having a hard time asking him for help since he has a daytime job. I just get so exhausted sometimes though since Olivia only naps for 30-40 minutes at a time. Thanks for the suggestion on having my dh get up with dd to discourage nighttime feedings - I'll work harder this week on extending time between daytime feedings so hopefully she'll eat more and so will not need the nighttime feedings for her calories.  Wish me luck!

[GraceKellysmom]

Wait! Sometimes too few of feeds during the day has the opposite effect, they don't get enough calories and will wake hungry at night. It is a very fine balance between day feeds and need for night time calories. A 5 month old will probably need to eat every 3-4 hrs.

I often felt guilty too about dh and getting up at night. My dh seems to need a lot of sleep. In the last few months, he's shown me what a great dad he is, getting up with the kids at night while I was recovering from a miscarriage. Just last night, he was up three times with Max (sick and teething) between 5:30am-7:15am. To curb my guilt, I know that my job is full-time too, and pretty physically and mentally demanding most days.

If your dh is willing, you could work out a plan ahead of time (so you're not questioning in the middle of the night) If she wakes between 10pm-2am, he gets her, if she wakes from 2am-6am, you get her. She may need 1 (maybe 2 - but doubt it at her weight) night feeding until 10 months to a year old or so.

Another thing I wanted to say to you is that at 5 months old, the wakings are often for either teething or developmental. My kids would wake up several times per night the week before they learned to do something, like sitting up or rolling over, scooting or crawling. I would say "why are you waking?" and then only realize it after the new talent was accomplished and they started sleeping better again. It is how you deal with those nightwakings that matters (oh it is soooo easy to just pop in the boob, trust me! I've been there). Even if you can't stop the nightwakings with Tracy's methods, you won't have a toddler who wakes 4-5 or more times a night to nurse because that is what she's always been given when she wakes at night. KWIM?

[LivvyLoosMom]

I'm sorry about your recent loss.
Thanks for the ideas about trading off night duty w/my dh. Great idea about a prearranged schedule! I suspect she's teething again (got her first tooth two weeks ago). Yesterday she learned how to suck her thumb & keep it there, and today she learned to pull herself up while holding onto my thumbs, so maybe that's why she's not sleeping well at night either. I tell ya, there's so much to learn!!  I hope I'm more prepared for the next one!

[GraceKellysmom]

  Ah, by the time we have #2, we've forgotten so much of it already. But I think #1 grows our patience so dealing with #2 is easier.

Well, the developmental things could have been causing these nightwakings! Yay for finding her thumb, what a blessing that is. Let me know if you do the schedule thing and how it works for you guys.