Self Feeding (not sure if in correct place) ....

[Lindy Loo]

Hi there

My DS is 25 months and is pretty well capable of feeding himself with either a spoon or a fork however he doesn't seem too bothered to do it at the moment and I don't know what to do?? (after reading what I've written I think most of this has been caused by us tho think the back teeth are contributing too)

If we don't feed him he'll happily have one or two mouthfuls then give up.  Every mealtime ends up us cajoling him into eating which I think is making it into a game for him of just how firmly he can did his heels in and get away with it   

Part of the problem is/has been that he tends to eat on his own as we eat later which, for him, probably makes him feel like he's on exhibition with us watching and waiting for him to eat.   Plus, in the mornings because we are on a fairly tight schedule to get to childminders/work I tend to just feed him to get it over with which doesn't help.

So I'm planning on starting to eat a similar size food portion with him to see if this helps and to back off on the spectator sport of watching him eat.  I also have the next 2 weeks off work and am going to try potty training so can relax about the morning time constraints too which may help .... but does anyone have any other idea's?? 

thanks very much
Lin

[Ennypen]

Hiya Lin

Sounds like you have the right ideas to me. Woo is the same age.. and although he can use his spoon and fork fairly well hes still not confident with it so ends up trying to use his fingers. I make sure that he eats enough by making sure that one meal a day is finger food.. usually lunch as he has salad and sandwiches etc.. and sometimes make sure that one part of his evening meal can be picked up.. like giving him some bread to pick up or cooked veg that he can pick up when he has had enough of using the fork or spoon. That way he has practise with the cutlery but doesn't stop wanting to eat as he finds it hard.

If I were you I'd carry on as youve planned.. don't let him know it stresses you or he will pick up on the vibes and won't want to eat.. and give him opportunity to use his cutlery but make it so he doesnt have to use them all the time to get some food. Also dont fall into the trap of cajolling him. Let him eat what he wants to and listen to him when he doesnt want any more. That way he doesnt make it into a game and knows that he should eat wheat he wants or the rest will be removed.

Oh and yes.. the molars do make a huge difference to the amount our little munchkins want to eat.. but it passes xxx

H x

[KathrynK]

Hi Lin
do you have friends with lo's of a similar age you could "do lunch" for the lo's with? The reason I ask is that when Sophie moved up into the toddler class at nursery she couldn't feed herself at all- 6 weeks later and she can feed herself an entire meal with very little help from me; she's learnt just by watching the other kids do it (and she's only there 2 days a week)
I think sometimes they learn better from each other than from us, iykwim?
Also Sophie eats on her own at home as we eat after she is in bed- I don't sit with her and watch her as that definitely affects her and like you say makes her eat less, I think she feels under pressure. I busy myself in the kitchen, perhaps doing the washing up or preparing veggies for dinner, chatting away to her while she eats in her highchair. My friend had a similar problem with her lo, she started to eat with him and it made a huge difference, so that's a good idea.
In the mornings could you perhaps do him some toast and bits of fruit for breakfast he can feed himself with his fingers, and he could be doing that while you put your makeup on or something? This is what I do on the days I am working to save time.
Just some ideas, hope there's something here to help you x

[SallyDom]

Hi Lin,
As with pp I often tidy the kitchen and generally potter around whilst Dom's eating his breakfast, and then as he's nearing the end of his breakfast I then sit with him to eat mine (I'm so starving in the morning's that it only takes me a minute to wolf down my peanut butter on toast!).
Good luck, I'm sure it's another one of those blummin' stages they go through and in no time he'll be eating away on his own happily!
Sally
x