Erratic Sleep

[SeanAosta]

Hi There,


I'm not really sure if this is a sleep question or an EASY one, but here goes.
I'm having a sleep/routine issues with my DS who is 4 mths.
His normal day starts at 7 (4hr EASY) and he gets a dream feed at 10.30pm. I've stopped giving night feeds cause I know he was only waking from habbit and not really taking more than a few minutes on the breast.

Now for the last few days he has been waking really early in the morning.
Today he woke at 4.45 AM (went to bed at 7.45PM) and was happy enough, the odd whinge/fuss here and there, but never crying.
After being awake over 1 hr I went to him and patted him to sleep ( took 4 attempts and he evetually went back to sleep at about 6.30 )

My question is should I have left him alone to sort himself out ? or go in earlier and get him back to sleep ?
 He doesn't appear to be hungry, so I don't feed him before 7, is this a good idea or should I feed him earlier ?
The problem is because he has been awake for so long, he tends to be aseep when his feed is due.
should I then wake him for his normal feed, or let him sleep and continue the 4hr EASY from there ?

Needless to say too, that because he has spent a good portion of the morning awake his naps for the rest of the day are all over the shop.

Reading back on this post, it's a bit jumbled  :oops:
I'm a bit groggy and more than a little fed up on so little sleep  :cry:

In short I guess,
if he wakes early but is happy, should I leave him alone ?
If so for  how long ?
If he sleeps past his normal feed time (more than 30 mins) should I let him, or wake him to try to normalize his body clock ?
What will this do to his EASY routine ?

Any help would be greatly appreciated

Cheers

Jackie

[SeanAosta]

Hi there,

sorry to post again, but I was wondering if anyone had any ideas ?
He had a pretty rotten day today due to being overtired. Only 1 good 1.5 hr nap and lots of power naps along the way (my bad for not being able to extend them,couldn't contain my frustration and crankiness  :oops: )
His Bath turned into an all out fight and he was in bed asleep by 7.
Since then he has been waking every 30 to 40 minutes, but settling very quickly with a hand on his chest.

The though of this continuing through the night, and another early morning is sending me into a meltdown too  :oops:  :cry:

If I go and pat him back to sleep before he is awake too long, am I interfeering with his self settling ?
I really don't think he is hungry, as he has a dream feed at 10.30, where he has a pretty good feed.

Any ideas/help would be greatly appreciated.

Cheers

Jackie

[Mom2katiebug]

My LO is about 6 weeks younger than yours, but here's my humble opinion...I'd let him settle himself (thankfully he'll do that) and then if he nods off and is sleeping when he should be eating, wake him up.  You may have to feed and then put him right back down if he's tired enough, but I think if you didn't the schedule/routine would keep shifting later and later each day and that might cause bigger problems.  Hopefully others with more experience will have some thoughts too!  Good luck!

[SeanAosta]

Hi There,

Thanks for your reply,

Unfortunately last night was a bit of a disaster.
He woke so often. before midnight, that I gave up writing it down.
He then woke up at 01.25 and didn't go back to sleep until 03.15, only to wake again at 05:05. Thankfully that time he settled failry quickly.
He decided that 6.40 was optimal time to get up for the day.
Needless to say it's been a rough day. 
However he did manage to get 2 x 1.5 hr naps today, without being too evil throughout.

I'm battling to keep consistent with him, and his routine, but it's so hard on such little sleep, and it also feels like any hope of improvement is dwindling away  :cry:
Whenever I think he is getting the hang of sleeping and naps, it all goes out the window

Sorry for being such a drama queen, but feeling very lost right now.

Thanks again for posting, I was beginning to think that no one ever would.

Cheers

Jackie

[Nicola_G]

Hi Jackie,

Hang in there, love.

I totally agree with Casey's post, once I started to actually stick with my routine I found my ds got much, much better at sleeping. Sometimes this means I put him to bed when I'm not sure if he's tired (he is), and sometimes I wake him from a sleep (yes, that's edge-of-the-blade stuff, but it seems to be worthwhile in the long run, and I tell myself he'd probably wake up within the next 5 minutes anyway!). :wink:

I also found that if ds woke and fussed, I was more likely to have a 1-2 hour resettling session if I went in and tried to help him settle. Maybe he's a little sensitive, but I think the shh/pat actually over-stimulated him. :roll:  So, if I hear him stirring in the night (actually its usually more like anytime between 3.30am and 5.30am these days), I listen for night sounds (I'm getting better at determining what is just nighttime grumbles vs waking up noises) and get up before his fussing escalates into full-blown wakeup noises. I go into his room, plonk the dummy back in his mouth (no lights, no speaking), and find that he will go back to sleep straight away. If he doesn't, I do NOT go back in, but keep an eye on the time and usually find that if he cries, it is for 3-5 minutes before he is flat-out asleep once more. The great thing is, dh can put a dummy in and so sometimes I roll over and ask him to get up (and he does!). :shock:

So, in a nutshell, I reckon it could be worth seeing if your lo will settle better without you in the room, it worked for me, it might for you. Obviously though you need to keep an ear out and not let the fussing escalate at all. I give my lo a 5 minute time limit, and so far the worst has been during daytime naps, where I have had to go back in at 5 minutes, and then do the dummy thing, and then usually about 2 minutes more fussing and he's away.

Oh, and I know, I know. I will hate that dummy before too long. :roll:  But, the way I see it, he doesn't wake up when it falls out of his mouth, he CAN and does sleep often without it (spits it out), and really, I want to instil good sleeping first, I will deal with the dummy once that is established.

Best of luck!!!

[SeanAosta]

Hey Nicola,

Thanks for your reply.
Sorry I was such a misery guts before, but some proper sleep has put that little monster in me to bed for a while   
You know you are right, I've been going back over my logs to see how he has been sleeping, and he is definitely improving, although slowly.
His morning naps are still a bit hit and miss, but his afternoon one is shaping up really well. He does 1.5 hrs without any help or wake-ups along the way.

I know what you mean about the dummy too. My DS only has it in his cot, and like yout LO he can and does sleep without it (even refuses to take it occasionally) and will usually spit it out before being fully asleep.
I don't see it as a prop right now, although I may be back here complaining about how to get rid of it .. heheh  :oops:

Now if we can all get through this heat we'll be grand altogether

Thanks again for your post.

Happy New Year

Jackie

[kirsty_167]

HI....never apologise these are places we can post for help and often others posts reflect exactly what we are going through too!!!!

This 4-5 month sleep issues is sooo common.Have you seen how many postings there are and have been on it? You are so not alone there in the difficult stage bit!!!! I too have been and still am having on/off issues with sleep. I just had to make decisions on what to do and stick to my guns.I knew jakob wasnt hungry really in the night,although hed take it but more habit than need!! So i didnt feed him. I dont go in unless he is really upset as he has learnt to self soothe when he does have nightfrights.If i go straight in it makes things worse.I usually listen and only go in if he hasnt resettled after a few minutes.

Not everyone would agree with how i do it and thats ok but  for me i have learnt over time that he is best left to settle himself otherwise he gets worse.he was waking out of habit and habit alone.I had to break that habit.He soon realised he wouldnt get much except for a pat/shush...not much to wake up for then!!!!

Anyway i had to post a reply as i know how hard it is when we have these hard times.....thinking of you and wishing you all the best

happy new year
Kirsty

[SeanAosta]

Hi Kirsty,

Thanks for your post.
I really appreciate your kind words.
I ended up giving him a feed last night, not because he wouldn't settle but because I was worried about him being dehydrated.
The heat here was unbearable all day, (over 45 degrees, and it was still 28 at 2AM !!! :shock: ) the poor thing was sweating so much.
He fed quite well so I was happy with that. If I am messing with his routine for a while, then so be it. I'd rather be more at ease that he is getting enough fluids than having to battle longer with sleep issues.
It's all priorities I guess.

I think you're right, I'll just have to do what I think best and know that I am doing it out of love and concern. I'll just have to remember to keep consistent and keep a close eye on the progress/results.

Thanks again, and Happy New Year to you and all your loved ones

Cheers

Jackie