Is it possible for a toddler to become anorexic????

[hlatreille]

I am starting to become very worried about this....my DS is going to be 18 months in a few days and he is a terrible eater.  He has good days (rarely) and lots of bad days where all I can really get into him is fruit.

My sisters, who all have kids around the 1-3 year range (which don't have this problem), keep telling me to offer him what we have for lunch or dinner and if he doesn't eat it, then he should get nothing.  Normally, I used to cave and would feed him things I know he likes and will eat....all crap food by the way, but I don't like to see him not eat.

My fear is if I do that (not give him food he likes), which I have been doing lately, and there is many a meal that he won't eat one bite and I know he is hungry because he protests me getting him down from his chair, that I am conditioning his body to think that he is starving.  I have personally experienced this myself (not intentionally), you get busy, forget to eat and go to find that you haven't had anything to eat that day....I eventually became anorexic because my body stopped asking for food and I was never hungry.  I want to avoid this in my son. 

He loves fruit, like blueberries, strawberries, raspberries, peaches, pears, watermelon, bananas, grapes...etc and honestly would only eat that if I let him.

Breakfast - is his best meal....he will have a piece of toast or a pancake and some fruit from the above list.   
Lunch - he loves Kraft Dinner, Kraft single cheese & bologna, pizza pops....I admit....all crap food....but I will also give him a yogurt & fruit.
Dinner....is a disaster....will not eat anything we eat except if it is spaghetti or pizza.  I will not give him any fruit or yogurt if he has not made any attempt to eat supper.  So most nights, he will have NOTHING to eat.

I am at my wits end ladies, I keep hearing that he won't let himself starve but if I don't offer him food....then ultimately he is starving himself.....and he just won't try new foods or attempt anything that is not familiar to him.

Please I need some help.....is it possible for him to become anorexic?  He is losing weight, I can tell, his clothes are fitting way more loose.....he is walking now but I am worried he is just not getting enough calories.

I don't think his teeth is bothering him because he will eat only what he likes......

HELP!!!

[Tatumsmom]

I am sorry your going through this it dosen't sound like much fun. My good friends DD sounds alot like your LO.For a long time she would only eat KD and hotdogs.   I tend to lean towards feed him what he likes verses make a big deal about meal times. There are alot of ways to make the things he likes healthy, you just need to be creative.
You say he likes spaghetti, make whole wheat pasta and then make your own sauce. You can hide all kinds of veggies in the sauce. Same with pizza if it's homemade it's easier to control the healthy factor.If it's getting to the point of him not eating anything then I say feed him what he likes.

Does he snack lots how is his milk intake. Do you think he might be sick,is it a texture thing. At that age my gut tells me to feed him what he wants/likes. My DD loved pasta at that age, some weeks she would have it three or four times. I think it's a cycle right now hes not eating lots so he is learning to go without. You need to change that cycle to him eating more so he is hungry more. I'm not saying feed him junk food all day, the foods you have listed my not be the best ones but they aren't that bad.Once he starts eating more and asking for more you can try to get different things into him. If you think he is losing weight,your goal right now is more calories.
Kids do tend to slim down as they start to walk but if you think it's more then that have you asked your Doctor?
I hope this helps.

Kim

[LisbonMom]

Kim has some good points. If he likes pizza, it may just be a matter of ho creative you can be with home-made pizzas. They don't have to be hard to do, just buy the already-made crust, make your own sauce with veggies as well as tomato, and just pile on healthy stuff on them. You can do meat, fish, veggies, fruit, you name it.

Also, it's natural for kids to start eating less somewhere around their second birthday. It may be that's what your ds is going through already, especially if he's always been a picky eater.

Let us know how things go.

[clazzat]

Is there anything going on in his life that has caused big changes recently?  When dd2 was born, dd1 (who was always a fantastic eater) went through a phase of not eating anything and lost 1.5kg - I think it was because she was stressed about the big change in her life and it was just something that she could control.

When we went through it, I was pretty strict about not offering alternative foods etc - it is impossible for them to starve themselves and, hard though it is to believe sometimes, they will eat as much as they need.  I decided what her meal was going to be in advance (I sometimes asked her what she wanted, but not always so as to make sure that she didn't have the same thing every time) and I gave her that - so if it was mini pizzas (homemade - as pps have said, you can get some good stuff in them if you do it yourself) followed by a banana I would insist that she ate some of the pizza (ie half of one) and then she would get her banana.  If she was then still asking for food I would offer the pizza again, but I wouldn't let her have anything different. 

As far as giving her different foods was concerned, I would offer less popular choices 3-4 meals a week, and the things that I knew she would eat the rest of the time - that way she wasn't refusing every meal, so the ones she did refuse became less of an issue.

You should sit down and really think about the things that he will definitely eat and work out how healthy they are - he needs to have a balance of all the food groups - and then plan what you will offer around that.  Sometimes we find that what they will eat is more balanced than you would expect - for example dd1's favourite meal is biscuits, raisins and cheese which has carbohydrate, fat, protein and fruit which would actually meet her nutritional needs for quite a while.  I have also heard that at this point it is okay if they eat fruit and not many vegetables.

HTH.  Cx

[Mashi]

I wouldn't worry about the anorexic part -- anorexia is not just being thin, anorexia is a mental disease where people view themselves as being overweight and they purposely eat as little as possible in order to get as thin as possible. The mental and emotional thought process for that to happen just isn't there in an 18 month old. So don't worry about that part!

Have you tried offering him 3 foods -- one he likes and two new. Or two he likes and one new.  What he eats, he eats. One day he will try a lick, a suck, a nibble, or a smell of one of the new foods. And perhaps like it.  If he throws it on the floor, let it stay on the floor. Don't scold him, react, get angry or anything, just leave it. Let him eat the foods he does like.   

I remember VERY well (mainly because my mother loved to tell this story) that I ate NOTHING but peanut butter and jam sandwiches for almost an entire year.  My mother took me to the doctor once a month. Doctor kept saying that if I wanted to eat PB&J, then to feed me PB&J. One day I would get sick of it and ask for something new.  And sure enough I did.  Oranges.  And I ate oranges day in day out and nothing but oranges for months.... ironically I am a very adventurous eater and perhaps even a "cuisine snob" now! 

I can't really picture and 18 month old's motor skills, but can you try to get him involved in making meals somehow? Get him to pile salad in a bowl or something...perhaps put toppings on pizza, sprinkle cheese on potatoes, etc. Make him involved in it? 

I think that as long as you offer him two or three nutritional food choices at each meal, at least one of which he likes, then the choice is up to him - you can control what and when he eats, he can decide how much.  If he is filling up on fruit at his dinner, that's better than not eating anything, and better than eating things that are far less nutritious!

[clazzat]

One other thing - I heard that there was an experiment done with toddlers where they were put in a room with every kind of food and no restrictions on what they could eat.  Over a period they all chose a broadly-speaking balanced diet - I guess it shows that they have more idea than we give them credit for as to what they need.

[We Three]

You've gotten some great advice here....I know it's scary.  While a toddler *can" have an eating disorder, this is not what is happening here. He is not refusing to eat, and that in essense is what anorexia is.  I agree with the 3 foods, one he likes, one he might, and one new one.
Of the things he WILL eat, there is alot of opportunity to hide stuff, as pp said. take a look athe deceptively delicious thread...lots of ideas. You can grate carrot into spagetti suace, sneak pulverized wheat germ into  pancake batter (put it in a ziploc bag and bash it into dust).  Stuff like that.  And keep in mind that if he refuses something once, offer it again (with other things) in a week or so. My dd still surprises me when she will take things she used to refuse.   

[hemz80]

You're not alone with this, I'm not sure quite how our son grows!  He has textural issues when it comes to food and balks at most new things.  I've learnt two other things as time has gone on.... 1. Don't hover or pay him any attention while he's eating.  If i just let him get on with it, he eats more! 2. offer him a combination of foods he likes and "family foods" throughout the week.  If he eats okay, if not just take it away and offer pudding.  He always gets a pudding, usually a yogurt or something.  I had recently started trying the eat one bite then you can have your cake etc but it isn't working as he's too young and tbh, i'd rather he ate something!  Ds doesn't eat fruit or veg in it's pure form, i keep offering but i've got innovative in how i get it in him.... smoothies, veg tempura, mini burgers etc.  Adding veggies to sauces is a great way to get it in them but it does taint the flavour and causes my ds to refuse them.  Keep trying and like pp have said offer new foods with favorites etc. hth xx

[Fiona (Leah & Kians Mom)]

Ok compared to my ds your son eats quite a variety of foods, and I dont think that anorexia should be a worry at all. Lets see if this makes you feel better, for the last 10 yes that is 10 months my son will only eat the following, weetabix for breakfast, dry cereal or crunchy crisp bread for snacks, occasionally toasted ham cheese or turkey cheese sambo for lunch followed by yogurt. Dinner is Ready Brek, oatmeal based cereal which he has to eat while simultaneoulsy eating a pot of custard and sometimes a yogurt. He will not under any circumstances try anything new or anything that we eat. He ate everything up until a year ago, in fact he was a fantastic eater. He drinks regular milk from a cup and water from a cup.
he is fine and healthy and putting on weight. I will fight with him to make sure he eats the limitied stuff he does eat but I will not fight with him to eat new things. He has seen all of us eating those foods including dd who eats dinner with him and we do breakfast together too, he will ask for a taste and then says no. I just keep offering and in 10 months he has said yes 1 and has tasted 1 piece of meat. I cant force him, though I do get frustrated. a lot.
Oh and if someone comes with a biscuit, chocolate, or crisps he can spot them 10 miles off and would devour them. He rarely gets a treat of a gummy bear or 2 or 3 crisps, but its very rare.

[Fiona (Leah & Kians Mom)]

Oh and I should say, dd was a lot better than ds but her lunch and dinner have always been cold pasta and whatever. Now she is doing snack at school lunch is a sandwich and dinner cold pasta and whatever. In the last 2 weeks my dd has discovered she likes eggs, finally, its only taken me 4 years :-)

If my kids dont eat dinner I do offer a snack but not immediately, least half an hour later

[hemz80]

Oh and if someone comes with a biscuit, chocolate, or crisps he can spot them 10 miles off and would devour them. He rarely gets a treat of a gummy bear or 2 or 3 crisps, but its very rare.

ditto here, i don't like ds having loads of stuff likes this but he does love them!! 

[clazzat]

Just remembered another couple of things that I was told when dd1 was not eating - offer smaller portions.  Sometimes they can get daunted by lots of food on their plate, and they can always ask for more if they eat everything you give them.  The other thing is to plan snacks into your day - sometimes you can get some good things into them while they are doing something else rather than at the dinner table where it is a bit more pressured.  One snack which goes down really well here is cheese scones made with spinach and tomato puree.

[skatty]

My DD ate tuna pasta nearly every night for about a year! I would offer healthy things he likes to eat and keep offering others but don't stress about it, there is loads of healthy stuff he will eat so I would not even offer him the processed stuff he likes. Have you tried giving him raw vegetables, my dd will eat almost any raw but hates anything with a slimy soggy texture when cooked. Even now if my dd doesn't eat dinner she still gets fruit/yoghurt, just because she doesn't fancy dinner it doesn't mean she should go to bed with an empty stomach, she is great at regulating her food and even leaves icecream whens he has had enough, if we leave them to work out their own appetites they do fine 

OH yes, this is a great idea to try dips! My DD would eat almost anything at this age if she had some dip so I would make my own chicken nuggets and tuna balls etc and would let her have some ketchup or veggies with hummus and also fruit cut to dip with youghurt. Also does he like eggs? You can do so much with eggs, french toast, omlettes, scrambled and you can make a baked egg dish with all pizza toppings and spices, tastes great.

Also remember toddlers like to have some control in their lives and the dinner table is a great pace to assert it especially if he sees how much he can stress mum out! Can you give him choices like peanut butter or ceam cheese on your sandwich and have them both there in front of him so he can pick? Sounds wierd but even letting him have lots of decisions away from eating may help if he is trying to assert himself. Another idea may be to offer him his main meal at lunchtime when he is more fresh and then he can have a "picnic tea", we often do this on busy weekends, DD will have crackers with cheese triangles, cubes of cheese and veg with dips and a smoothie for her tea sometimes on the floor on a blanket in front of the TV or at her little table. Another thiing I used to do when DD didn't want dinner is add rice protein powder into her bedtime milk because she doesn't drink cows milk and rice milk is like water, it is so handy I also used to add it to meals and baking, it is completely tasteless.

Clazzat, do you have a recipe fpor the cheese scones, they sound great!

[hlatreille]

Thanks for all the responses ladies! I feel alot better.  That was my biggest fear was protein....he does not like meat, cheese or egg, I have tried several times.  The odd time he will eat chicken but that is about it....and the hamburger in spaghetti sauce.

He surprised me yesterday, i offered him Cheerios & milk for breakfast and he loved it!!  I was so proud of him.  I actually have the book Deceptively Delicious....I have yet to try any recipies, but I think it is time.

I will offer him food he likes if he has made any attempt to eat something new....I just can't let my baby go hungry.  I also started offering him a small snack, like dry Cheerios, before bed and maybe some berries.  I never used to offer a bedtime snack, but I am starting to now, but only healthy. 

I do need to offer more snacks, but I was always afraid it would wreck his appetite.  But I do see the point to offer more snacks to increase his appetite, even if it is just a handful of crackers. 

His milk intake is ok, I think....he has 5-7oz in the morning in a bottle and at night after supper I offer a sippy cup to drink until he goes to bed, so he would drink this over a period of about 2 hours and he will drink anywhere from 3-8oz, it really varies....I actually mix a little chocolate milk in it too for flavor.

After reading all the posts, I don't think I am as bad off as some of you....whew, that makes me feel better.

Thanks again ladies for all the encouragement!  Sounds like I am not the only one here with this issue, sounds pretty common.....

[MLK]

It's also pretty common for toddlers to get most of their food from breakfast till about mid-afternoon and have almost nothing for dinner. In fact my DS1 only started eating reasonable amounts at dinner when he turned 4. So could you offer him a larger meal at lunch eg leftovers from the previous night's dinner? Also if you think he only wants fruit offer it for the mid-morning and mid-afternoon snacks instead, but not at meal times.