11 months old not napping and waking early....help!

[jennbull]

I am so confused on what is going on and don't know where to start to fix the problem.  My son is 11 months old and has always been a horrible sleeper.  For the past three or so months we finally got rid of the passy and got him on a great schedule.  He was taking great naps and most nights sleeping all night form 7:30 till 7:00.  No all of the sudden things have gone nuts.  He is waking around 5:00 am and not wanting to nap in the afternoon.  He goes down for his first nap around 9 and will usually sleep till 10:30 or 11.  I then try to put him down around 2-2:30 and he will scream and scream and maybe sleep for like 20 minutes.  Then he is so exhausted by bedtime.  He also wakes sometimes in the middle of the night and will not go back to sleep.  He will cry sometimes for 2-3 hours.  I don't know what to do.

A little background....I know he knows how to settle himself back to sleep so I did not want to start becoming a prop by rocking him or staying in his room.  So, I will do the go in and out method to try to comfort him.  Several times I have tried to pick him up and rock him but he either screams more or tries to play.  I have even tried bringing him to bed with us, and he just plays.  So, I don't know how to comfort him because nothing works.  He cries before naps, after naps, and waking at night.  He actually goes to sleep with no fuss though.  We have done some cry-ii-out things and I think it might have caused some issues.  He now seems terrified of his crib.  I want to comfort him but I don't know how bc he doesn't let me and I don't want to become a prop.   

Here is his schedule...sometimes

5:00-6:30  Wake sometime in there
7:30  Bottle
8:15  Breakfast
9:00/9:30  Nap
11:30  Bottle  (1-2 hours)
12:15  Lunch
2:00/2:30  Nap  (20-40 minutes)
3:30  Bottle
5:30  Dinner
7:00  Bath
7:30  Bottle and Bed

Could he only need one nap?  He just went to 2 naps like a month ago so 1 nap seems a little too soon but??  What could be causing the 5:00 waking?  And how to I comfort him without becoming a prop and trying to fix his fear of the crib?

I would love any advice I can get.  I am so confused and don't know where to even begin. 

Thanks

[Taylor's Mommy]

HI There,

First, sorry you are having a rough time.  HUGS!  There are a few issues you are trying to sort out right now, so we may want to reply back and forth a few times to get it all sorted out.

First, regarding going down to 1 nap: Not from experience, but from what I have read, a lot of lo's start to want to drop to 1 nap around this age.  They don't actually get there for a couple of more months, but it sounds like the beginning of switching to 1 nap.  The average lo drops to 1 nap between 12-18 months, so he is not that far off.
There is an announcement at the top of the forum for dropping from 2 naps down to 1.  Take a look for some suggestions there.

Second, Tracy's methods really work best when done on a consistent basis.  Do you have the new book the Baby Whisperer Solves all your problems?  If so, I can point out a few sections on how to overcome the trust issues that can develop with letting him CIO.  Also, there is an excellent section on PU/PD, which can help you deal with the middle of the night wakings.

For the early morning waking, this often happens because his clock is stuck.  Have you tried wake to sleep by going in there at 4 am and stirring him to try and readjust his clock?

Please let me know if you have the new book so we can outline a plan of action.  An action plan to help his routine will possibly look like this:

1. Adjust routine to begin the switch down to 1 nap

2. PU/PD to help comfort him with your presence , but also avoid becoming a prop by allowing him to figure out to self soothe on his own.  This will be used consistently for the middle of the night wakings and even possibly for the 5 am waking.

3. Perhaps a few days of sleeping in his room on a futon/blow up mattress to help with the trust issues that came about from CIO...details to follow.

4. Possibly wake to sleep to help with the 5 am waking

5. Possibly an earlier bedtime until this gets sorted out so that he gets some extra rest up front.

Let me know what questions you have and we will go from there.  We can definitely get this all sorted out so don't give up!

[jennbull]

Thanks for your help. 

About switching to one nap:  I thought it wasn’t good to wake a baby up early from a nap.  So, from what I am reading I should not let him sleep more than an hour in the morning???  Will his afternoon naps increase bc they are so short?

I unfortunately do not have the new book.  It was so expensive and my husband would kill me if I spent that much on a book.  I can try to buy one if I need to.  Is it in paperback yet?

Does pu/pd work for a 12 month old?  I really don’t fully understand the concept.  How do I not become a prop?  I also am a little hesitant bc I am pregnant and need sleep and know that it will take a while to work.  But, with encouragement, hopefully I can try. 

For 5 am wakings:  When I stir him, do I wake him up?  What if I do and then he doesn’t go back to sleep?

If I sleep in his room, do I just sit there when he wakes or do something?

I really think he hates his crib.  I was desperate for sleep last night and let him come in our room at 4:00 and he slept till 7:00.  So I know he needs it, he just seems scared when he wakes up in the middle of the night.  How do I fix the crib issue?

We used CIO because I was so sleep deprived I could not function.  He was waking hourly for 5 months.  I did not want to CIO but if I did not sleep, ??  It was getting scary.  It worked for a while, but now it is not working and it really upsets him when I let him cry.  He has relapses all the time.  Is this common with Tracy’s method or will it work for good?

Let me know if you need any other info.  I really want to fix this.  Can't wait to hear back:)

[Taylor's Mommy]

HI Jennbull,

Thanls for responding back.  To answer some of your questions:

I thought it wasn’t good to wake a baby up early from a nap.  So, from what I am reading I should not let him sleep more than an hour in the morning???  Will his afternoon naps increase bc they are so short?

In order to preserve the afternoon nap, many people suggest (including myself from my experinece with my own dd) that it is okay to shorten the am nap in order to hopefully lengthen the pm nap.  The pm nap is thought to be more important because a) it is the nap they keep through toddlerhood and b) it can help keep them happier through bedtime, making it easier to settle in for bed.

I can try to buy one if I need to.

Where are you located?  I know you can get it on Amazon for $20, but sometimes other BW moms even lend their copy out if someone is in need of it.

Does pu/pd work for a 12 month old?  I really don’t fully understand the concept.  How do I not become a prop?  I also am a little hesitant bc I am pregnant and need sleep and know that it will take a while to work.  But, with encouragement, hopefully I can try.

YES, it can work for a 12 month old.  See the general sleep issues forum and read the sticky at the top of the forum on PU/PD.  You do not become a prop because you are just there with your lo while they are figuring out how to get to sleep on their own w/o rocking, feeding, etc. 

For 5 am wakings:  When I stir him, do I wake him up?  What if I do and then he doesn’t go back to sleep?

You DO NOT wake him up.  You go in at 4 and just lightly brush his cheek or back...something just to get him to stir a little, but NOT come into full consciousness.

If I sleep in his room, do I just sit there when he wakes or do something?  I really think he hates his crib.  I was desperate for sleep last night and let him come in our room at 4:00 and he slept till 7:00.  So I know he needs it, he just seems scared when he wakes up in the middle of the night.  How do I fix the crib issue?

Please take a peek in the general sleep issues forum or getting back on track.  We try to keep topics limited to naps in this forum, and I also don't have a lot of experience wiht this...so don't want to give wrong advice.

We used CIO because I was so sleep deprived I could not function.  He was waking hourly for 5 months.  I did not want to CIO but if I did not sleep, ??  It was getting scary.  It worked for a while, but now it is not working and it really upsets him when I let him cry.  He has relapses all the time.  Is this common with Tracy’s method or will it work for good?

HUGS to you.  I know it is hard when you are exhausted and you can't seem to do anything to help ds.  When you ask if it is common when tracy's methods, I am a little confused?  If you are referring to his relapses due to the CIO, Tracy does not believe in CIO. 

With Tracy's methods, CONSISTENCY is key, so if you are consistent, then the problems can most definitely be dealth with and fixed.  It is common, especially with boys, to have a relapse of 3-5 days a couple of weeks after things get "fixed", but if you are again consistent, he shouold make it through the relapse.

I really want to do what I can to help you out.  What can I do to help you come up with a plan? 

[Taylor's Mommy]

One more thing.  Once you start to devise a plan and enact it, please expect to not see results for 3 days to even a couple of weeks.  It does take  a little bit of time for ds to get adjusted to the new plan

[jennbull]

Things are getting better.  He is now sleeping from 7:30 until 5:30 or 6:00.  So now the only issue is the early morning wakings.  When he wakes he immediately screams.  So, I began to think he was hungry?  So, I gave him a bottle and he sucks down 8 oz.  Could he really be hungry or should I not feed him?  He will then usually go back to sleep for 1-2 hours.  Do I give him the bottle (growth spurt?) or do I do pu/pd? 

His eating seems to be more snacking than eating whole meals.  He acts hungry all the time and wants to eat all day long.  So, I was thinking that maybe he is hungry in the am bc he is not eating good solid meals.  Could this be?  I am cutting 4 bottles down to 2 (morning and night only) so he is not consuming so many liquids.  Maybe that is also the problem?  What do you think?

Thanks for all you help.

[Caroline-Charlies Mummy]

So, I began to think he was hungry? So, I gave him a bottle and he sucks down 8 oz. Could he really be hungry or should I not feed him? He will then usually go back to sleep for 1-2 hours.

Hello,

I just wanted to say that my ds did this for a while, so, instead of a bottle when this happened, I gave him a bottle of water. This meant that, if he was waking b/c he was thirsty he was OK, but it got him out of the habit of waking at that time for a bottle of milk. It took about a couple of weeks, I think, but it did stop. Also, it meant that he was hungrier at breakfast time, and he was more likely to have a decent meal, therefore making snacking less likely.

HTH

[Taylor's Mommy]

Also, you may want to cut down on 1 bottle at a time. so go to 3 then a few days later or even 1-2 weeks later cut out another.

[jennbull]

As far as the bottles, I did go form 4 to 3 to 2.  I have been slowly reducing over the past week or so.  He has adjusted great and ate really well today.  I made sure he didn't snack all day and ate good meals.  So we will see.

What if when I give him the water he throws a huge fit?  What is a reasonable time to give him his first bottle.  If he wakes at 5:30 or 6 and will not go back to sleep, when do I give him his bottle?  Should I do pu/pd after the water?

Thanks

[Taylor's Mommy]

I would say hold out until at least 6:30.  7 if you are feeling especially brave! 
I'll let Caroline answer abotu the water, as I have never tried that.