question about snacks

[*Becky*]

This is an eating/discipline thing and not sure where to post but here goes...DS is 17 months and constantly asks me for 'nacks' This can be as early as half an hour after breakfast and it kind of goes on all day. He does it with me far more than his dad or his granny, we have all noticed this. If I do not get him a snack he has a bit of a meltdown and I am finding it quite stressful and dread him mentioning the word.
I guess we have quite a laid back approach to snacks in that we have never had a set time for one or made him sit in his high chair. In the past I have given him something halfway between breakfast and lunch and that has been it but now it is more difficult. He also knows what he wants i.e. humzinger or a sugar free biscuit not actual fruit.
I just wondered what the best approach is so that it does not get out of control. Should I limit it to one substantial snack and only one and just be quite firm and deal with the crying or do I go with it a bit more and just think...he must be hungry!
He is tall and slim so it is not a weight issue but I have noticed it is becoming a big thing to him and if we have friends round he goes on and on about them. If I distract him constantly by doing things he wants to do like going outside he forgets about it but that is quite tiring!!!
Any ideas?
Thanks
Becky

[KathrynK]

Hi Becky

It's difficult to refuse when they can't tell you in words how hungry they are isn't it? I don't want Alex to get in the habit of grazing, but then don't want him to go hungry either!

I find that snacks totally depend on how much Alex ate at mealtime. What is a typical breakfast for Henry?

Alex will eat a bowl of cereal, eg one whole weetabix, half a slice of toast & butter, and a whole pear. This will usually last him from 8-8.30am breakfast till 11.30-12noon lunch. I definitely notice if he only has the cereal and not the toast/ pear he will be starving by 10.30am.

[Mum-of-Two]

I find so long as they are still eating their 3 meals a day well, its OK to let them graze -- it is hard because of growth spurts and the like.

That being said I noticed with my DD that she started to use food as an attention getter.  It was after my son was born she suddenly was constantly saying she was hungry -- she was older than your son is now.  I'd monitor what she ate during the day and if she just had a large meal and snack I knew really she was just trying to get me to stop, look at her and give her my attention as I asked "are you hungry honey".  Instead I did change my own behavior to still stop and give her that attention without providing the food.

My only other last thought is could it be thirst?  I notice my DD has a hard time distinguishing between hunger and thrist.

Good luck!

[*Becky*]

thanks... yes he does eat well at meals as long as he likes it and he has quite a small variety of foods he likes but we are working on that!
For breakfast he has a whole weetabix or bowl of ready brek and a round of toast but think I may give more cereal and see. DH thinks he def lasts longer when we give him more for breakfast.
I am not anti-grazing as such but he def knows what snacks he will and will not try so if I try to give him raisins for example, he will turn his nose up.
bx

[deb]

Maybe you can start out a day by showing him an empty cupboard and saying, "Look, Sweetie, no biscuits today!" with an exaggerated face. "But if you DO get hungry, we can have some of..... THESE!!!"   and hold up apples or oranges or something else. "I know you like the biscuits, but we don't have any more right now, and I don't want you to get TOO hungry, so this will be right here on the counter/table/wherever when you get hungry." Very matter-of-fact. And then move on and see how busy you can keep him.

Also, if you're out of the house, like in the yard/garden or out for a walk, does he ask then? Perhaps if he's away from the house when he'd otherwise be snacking, you can use that to change the habit more painlessly, or bring along a snack of your choosing or mutual choosing between 2 alternatives you pick, like apples or raisins.

Good point about the possible thirst, too, especially now with the weather warming up; I know my kids are a lot more active and more hungry/thirsty all around.

[Mama2boys]

also worth considering is if a snacj affects the next meal..with DS it does big way, he is a small eater for sure, I mena even at 3 his bfast is a small scoop of cereal...

But we have almost no snacks at all, certainly no off routine snacks. so its milk, bfast lunch, snack milk dinner routine and maybe once a week he will aks for something in the middle and I have kept it that way., I am sure loads of parents do nolt agree ith me and I knwo some of his playdate moms think i am a freak but if DS has a snack he will not eat his netx meal properly and that just results in a rubbish eating day IYKWIM

[Mashi]

I do notice that DS asks for snacks more often with me than with DH and when we were visiting the ILs this week he hardly asked for them at all, except when he saw them. One thing that it is with DS is that it is just part of his own personal "routine" - we do this this and this and then he asks for a snack, so after getting one a few days in a row it's just part of what he does.  ie/ when we go into the supermarket he asks for a brotchen (bread thingy) from the bakery counter EVERY time, but only 1/2 of the time does he eat it, the rest of the time he throws it in bits down the side of his buggy BUT if I try to not give him one he will go mental because it's "what we do" - same as at other times of the day. When it's just he and I at home he's got it in his head that there are certain ways that things work and certain snacks at certain times of the day are one of those things!

So, I basically have certain foods that I am willing to be snacks and other foods that are not. We have no probs with fruit here but other times of the day I use snacks to round out his choices for the day - so I may offer some deli meats or veggies for snack instead of the more snacky things. If he says no then he's not really hungry.  Some times he does want a snack but not what is on offer and throws some fits over it but those times I try to compromise - he wants cheese but has had yogurt and loads of milk already so I will give him a small piece of cheese and some meats cut up for instance.  If he doesn't want it, then fine! But, other times when he wants a snack and it is "just because" or if it is because he spotted something and wants it, then I will give him a SMALL something (like one bite) and then distract him with something and really hold his attention as best as I can until I am ready for him to eat.

[*Becky*]

thanks again
If we are out and about generally he will not ask me, especially if we are in the garden or 'bouncing' which are his current fave things. I am happy to give him snacks but I just think maybe I need to think what my 'limit' is iykwim rather than waiting until it flares up and getting stressed. I guess maybe trying more at bf and seeing if that helps and then giving one snack around 10ish which is fairly substantial so he does not ask for 'more' as he is stuffing it into his mouth! Then I guess I should stick to it so he knows what the routine is. I guess he probably thinks the more he wants, the more he gets....

[*Becky*]

they are not biscuits that I would eat. They are healthy baby ginger ones - he never has normal biscuits as I tend to be pretty careful with what he eats.
Water is always out and about.
DS is so spirited, he is really into the tantrums now so I guess I have to deal with this sooner than later x

[deb]

You can also give him warnings as he eats: "We have two left.... we have one left..... this is the last one, so enjoy it!" He'll work out that it's not an endless supply soon enough. *grin*

[mini me]

How about fixing a couple of snack boxes together first thing in the morning? Put in each box a thing he likes and some other things you want him to snack on (ie a humzinger and couple of dried apricots/prunes in one container and in the other a ricecracker/sugarfree biscuit and some raisins/grapes) and then he can choose which box he has first - often helps when they have 'helped' to fill the boxes, he can see when it's finished 'his choice of snack' and he only has the option of snacking on what's left in the box if he's hungry.

DD loved to open little boxes and plastic containers - she would only eat grapes if there was one in each pot (she had like 10 pots on her tray!!) and she loves eating raisins out of those little boxes, so I keep them and refill them.

I second Deb with the counting down - DD is soooo much easier to handle when she's given notice before something happens.

[*Becky*]

thanks
Great ideas.

[*Becky*]

well today we had many a meltdown over 'nacks' but we got through. I am still a bit confused which is part of the problem I guess. If he is hungry I don't want to deny food. It is constant, all day whining for them. Aaagh! Today he had a cereal bar around 10am and some dates and a sugar free biscuit around 3pm and we got through. He ate well for all meals x