9 month old still waking- what am I doing wrong

[Preston's Mom]

Hello there, I've been reading the threads but haven't posted in a while...I need help!  My very spirited LO is 9 months and still isn't sleeping through the night.  He's gotten better and will occassionally sleep for 5 or 6 hours at night before waking up and needing me to help him back to sleep.  I started my LO on EASY when he was 6 weeks and we had a pretty good routine down but I never have been able to get him sleep from 7:30 to 6am!  Here is our routine:
6:15AM   Wake up and feed
7:30      Activity
8 AM      Cereal
9 or 9:30   Morning Nap
11:15      Breastfeed (snack)
11:30      Activity   
  1:00      Lunch (solids)
  1:30      Activity
2 or 2:30   Afternoon Nap
4 PM      Breastfeed (snack)
4:15      Activity
600       Dinner (solids)
630       Bath (every other day), pj's
700       BF
715       Story and wind down
730       Bed
My other PROBLEM is bedtime...I think I have become his prop now...I don't rock him, but when we have cuddle time, he starts trying to bounce himself and gets frustrated if I don't bounce him.   After I think he has settled down, I put him in the crib...his eyes pop open and he sits up then stands up.  So I tell him to lie down and have to pat his back to help him relax enough to start drifting to sleep.  Some nights he goes down fairly easy, however some nights it takes 45 min- 1 hour for him to go to sleep.  He will sleep about 2 hours and when I go in his room he is sitting in the crib and I lay him down on his stomach or side and pat his back a little then he goes back to sleep for 4 hours or so.  I noticed that he had been waking up between 3:30 and 4am so I started setting my clock to go off so I could wake him up, but even when I did wake him he would sleep for an hour then wake up right before 5am.  Can anyone offer assistance/advice on what I need to do differently so he can develop the skills to go back to sleep on his own.  Oh, btw, he did have one night (2 weeks ago) where he sleep 8pm - 3:30 (he vomited when he woke up- I cleaned him up) and he went right back to sleep until 6am.  I know he can do it, I also need help getting DH to understand that he doesn't have to pick up LO everytime he wakes up at night for help going back to sleep.   Please help! ((Sorry it's so long))

[bobblesmum]

HI there,

After I think he has settled down, I put him in the crib...his eyes pop open and he sits up then stands up

Why are you putting him in the crib when his eyes are closed? I think he needs to be fully awake when you put him down so he can learn to sleep himself.

He will sleep about 2 hours and when I go in his room he is sitting in the crib and I lay him down on his stomach or side and pat his back a little then he goes back to sleep for 4 hours or so

Is he genuinely crying when he wakes? if he is not, why dont you just leave him, he may put himself back to sleep. I had the same problem with my LO (nine months now) and I used to rush in too soon. Now i just leave him and 90% of the time he send himself back to sleep within 15 minutes. How can he develop the skill to sleep by himself if he doesnt get the opportunity to do so? 

[Colin Macs Mom]

In addition to what bobblesmum said, I also think you need to make a routine change. Assuming you didn't leave anything out, you're actually doing a 3 hour EASY most of the day. I think you'd see improvement if you adjusted the naps a bit.

[Preston's Mom]

Bobblesmum,
when I put him in the crib his eyes are open and he closes them and after about a minute or 2 his eyes pop open.  I will try letting him send himself back to sleep himself....I just need to get DH on board because he wants to rush in!  When I put him in the crib fully awake, he doesn't lay down, he sits or stands up and wants to play.

[Preston's Mom]

Colin Mac's Mom,
                            can you give me some suggestions, we will be moving soon and I would like to get him so he's sleeping at night soon.  This week, he's also cut out the morning nap and has been napping once a day instead of twice.

[Colin Macs Mom]

I would push nap #1 back to 10:15ish, and nap #2 to 3:15, and keep the 7:30 bedtime.
You should also know that a move might cause some sleep disturbances for a bit since LOs are so sensitive to change. If that happens just give him a lot of reassurance and things will go back to normal.

Also, it does sound like he's not able to sleep totally independently, if you can't put him down fully awake and have him put himself to sleep. Have you done PU/PD ever?

[Preston's Mom]

Thanks for the suggestions!  Yes, I have tried PU/PD and he seems to get more frustrated.  I will try it again.  I just want him to be able to sleep through the night!  I will try it tonight and let you know how it goes!

[Springbaby]

Hi there, I just wanted to butt in if I may i also have an almost 10 month old and when you are doing pu/pd, maybe try just pd? This is what has worked for us anyways, my lo would get more worked up if I picked him up, but now I just lean over, give him a little hug and lay him down again (helps the back too!) although most times it takes quite a few lay downs before he stays down 

[bobblesmum]

I also dont do PU/PD anymore, as it was just too stressful for both me and baby! If LO is restless when I put him in his cot, I lean over and gently but firmly "pin" him down unitil he is fast asleep. If very restless, I tightly wrap his legs in a blanket as well as "pinning" him down-using these methods, he is usually asleep within 20mins maximum.

[Preston's Mom]

Thanks Springbaby and bobblesmum for the suggestions!  I also try doing PD because he would really get frustrated with PU/PD.  Bobblemum, how do you "pin" your LO down?  I think I need to try that because I am repeatly telling him to "lie down for night night time" but he just trys to get right back up.  The times I have tried to hold him down, he started whining.  This past weekend he was up almost every two hours ( I think teething- top teeth) and I waited before I went in his room.  A couple times he was still laying down but crying and wanted help going back to sleep.  I just don't understand how to get him to learn it on his own.  It's a struggle during nap and bedtimes for him to wind down!

[bobblesmum]

Hiya,

I think my LO is teething as well, but not too sure (red cheeks, cries in sleep)! When he is ill, or at times like these, its is almost impossible for him to settle himself and self-soothe, so I usually hold him until he sleeps. When he is not ill but he is restless I put him in the cot on his back and I sit on the floor, put my arms through the bars (I have thin arms!) and hold his arms and legs down firmly and clse my eyes. it helps if he is in a grow bag or has a blanket wrapped around his legs. xx

[Preston's Mom]

Thanks for all the great information, bobblesmum!  Here's a quick update:
Last weekend he didn't sleep well at all, however, since Monday night he has been "rocking himself to sleep".  Once he gets relaxed and sleepy, he pulls his blanket close to him, lays his head down and rocks w/ his knees bent.  Every since he has been doing this, I don't have to pat his back and he will rock & burrow his head on the blanket and go to sleep.  He wakes up once, when I go in I lay him back down and he rocks for a couple seconds then goes back to sleep.  I will keep you updated!