Please, please help!! Separation anxiety??

[mama_tutu]

Please help!! I swear my child turns into another baby when the sun goes down... We are at a complete loss.  My 7 month old DD is usually a fantastic sleeper once through a transition. This past month, we have been transitioning to dropping her CN and going to 3 hour A times with 2 longer naps. Also, she started cutting her first tooth a couple of weeks ago, but meds don't seem to help what's going on.  On a perfect day (which is never, but this is the structure give or take 30 min on everything), this is her EASY:

7:00 Wake, BF, A
10:00 Nap
11:30 Wake, BF, A
2:30 Nap
4:00 Wake, BF
5:30ish Solids (just introduced this month)
6:30 Bath, lotion, PJs, BF
7:00 Bed (usually passes out during BF... only time she falls asleep during, but tops her off for the night)

Starting last week, she will wake up during the night (inconsistent times... sometimes shortly after putting her down, sometimes hours later... always before 2 am). She will eventually get very, very VERY upset which before now has been completely out of character for her. Nothing will soother her, except picking her up. As soon as we even step toward the crib to lay her down she go ballistic... forget actually laying her down. The times we have soothed her in her crib, she starts screaming as soon as we move toward the door. Eventually (approx 2 hours later), it's like she will just decide "okay, I'm tired now." I can feel her body just suddenly relax. I go lay her down, she'll snuggle her lovey and out she goes. A couple of times, she has suddenly just decided it's play time and will just chatter away until she falls asleep (but only after screaming bloody murder for well over an hour). During the day, she self soothes like an angel for her naps. She has started fussing some when I leave the room or first put her down.

What in the world is going on?? I feel like DH and I are APOP-ing more than we EVER have, but she will make herself gag from crying so hard. Is it SA? THANK YOU in advance... you all have been life savers already.

[Erin M]

Separation anxiety is a possibility though she's on the young side for it -- have you seen this? 
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=62612.0

It also sounds like discomfort to me -- I am wondering about the solids, which you say are a fairly recent addition -- is it possible for you to shift them to the morning for a week or so to see if it makes a difference? 

Any other shifts in activities?  Is she doing any more/less during the day than she used to?  Do you think that the nursing to sleep is suddenly messing with her sleep?  If she's been able to do it so far, it seems like it wouldn't start now, but do you think you could try to put her down awake one night to see if it makes a difference. 

Hmm....will keep thinking on this, seems like there should be something else there that I'm not seeing...

[becj86]

Sounds eerily like digestive discomfort to me. Either gas that passes, then she can sleep... or more solid poos moving through her system that is either just different from what she's used to or maybe even painful and when she's crying and moving around, its moving on through her system and then she's ok, yk?

[mama_tutu]

Let me just say, you both are wonderful. I don't know how I would parent without this forum... ha! Even my husband will ask, what do the baby whisperers say??  

I think you're both right... digestive troubles. We thought that at first, but then ruled it out because A) she would not be upset like that during the day and B) she would stop (at least for a bit) when we picked her up.  BUT, her poos have been horribly solid... don't soak into her diaper at all. We've tried changing what we feed her, but with the one-food-a-week rule, we don't have a lot of options. I know I need to get more fluids in her, but she won't take a bottle unless she's hungry and she just bites and plays with the sippy cup. Should I take that question to the Eat boards? I did give her solids in the morning today, like you suggested Erin. messy green peas.

Also, I would LOVE to stop nursing her to sleep at night... not because I don't adore BF, but because I do think the transition disrupts her. I hold my breath every. single. night. I just don't know how to adjust her EASY so that I'm not dropping that 4th feeding altogether. Suggestions?

[mama_tutu]

Forgot to answer one of your other questions Erin, she has recently started sitting up on her own and rolling a bit more frequently. So A times are definitely more mobile! Just in case that helps you get the whole picture.

Or you could just move in. We have a lovely guest bed, and we aren't creepy at all...

[becj86]

A straw cup is often something BF LO's do best with when starting out, so you could try that for water.

You could add in a 'good night, daddy' and a quick cuddle and chat about her day after the BF - that has been really helpful for us in terms of breaking the BF-bed association, and the chat about the day helps wind DS down

What solid foods have you given her? Just thinking that if you avoid baby cereal (fortified with iron and can really constipate a baby, particularly BF as they're not used to the extra iron - we had issues with it here too) and stick to pears or add some prune juice / prune to a puree, that may help get things a bit softer for her.

[Erin M]

We thought that at first, but then ruled it out because A) she would not be upset like that during the day

If you're not giving them to her until later in the day, then you don't have time to see if they're causing a problem -- they only really hit her system at night. 

Avocados were a great first food for us -- not constipating at all.  You can also try to thin out the purees you're feeding with some water/breast milk.  I also second the straw cup suggestion, my ds was able to drink out of his really easily the first time I gave it.  Otherwise, just keep practicing with the sippy and she'll get there. 

I just don't know how to adjust her EASY so that I'm not dropping that 4th feeding altogether.

You can do a quick book after it, sometimes that will wake them up a touch -- it actually keeps my ds from getting upset that his BT nursing is over if I pull out a book. 

Or you could just move in. We have a lovely guest bed, and we aren't creepy at all...

 

[mama_tutu]

The straw sippy is a great suggestion... I will get one ASAP. Until then, I thinned her green pea puree with .5 an ounce of prune juice, and gave her the other .5 by syringe (she took reflux meds by syringe twice a day until a month ago, so she takes it like a champ). That may be strange, but I have to get her to drink it somehow!!

We did her last BF session about 20 minutes earlier last night with soft music playing and the lights on. She stayed awake! We snuggled a minute, then I put her down. She chattered for a while, then got really upset. I was able to pu/pd once, then reassure her in the crib and she drifted off. Woke up screaming about 1.5 hours later... definitely gas. I felt it in her stomach. I paced with her a while, until I felt her relax then she let me lay her down and she put herself to sleep. MUCH shorter this time... maybe 30 minutes? We had evening guests, so I didn't keep time quite as well. But she slept until 7:00 AM! No NF needed. Seems like improvement to me!

2 last questions.... should I introduce avocado or pear next? Also, how much prune juice a day? I was going to shoot for an ounce in the morning, and then maybe another ounce in the afternoon/early evening (somehow... either by syringe, sippy, or bottle). How much do you both give?

[Erin M]

Avocados were great for keeping my little guy regular, though I've heard the same with pears.  Very different consistencies, avocados are so much thicker though you can mix either with water or breast milk to get more liquids in him.  Not sure about prune juice, I never used it with any of mine. 

[becj86]

When did you wean the reflux meds? Could she be in pain?

I don't know quantities of prune juice, I just added a prune or two to a batch of pureed pear.

[mama_tutu]

Hmm... I think we'll go avocado next. My momma instinct is telling me "the smoother the better" for a bit! The last two nights have been much better. She woke up at 4:30 this morning, but I think it was because she rolled on her stomach and got stuck!

She's been off the reflux meds for 5 weeks now... Our pediatrician said she should outgrow it by 6 months, and to stop the meds whenever we felt ready. We watched her like a hawk for symptoms for the first couple of weeks and she's actually done pretty well. None of the same gagging/choking sounds like before. Good thought, though... I had pushed that from my mind, but I'll keep a closer eye again just in case. 

She's done better taking the prune juice, although I'm not sure its working. Hasn't had a BM since early this week. Maybe just haven't been giving her enough? I can only give so much by syringe. The good news is, after a couple of days of syringe feeding, she decided she really likes the taste and actually took 2 ounces (diluted a bit) from a bottle this morning. If she doesn't go soon, I may give her another ounce or two. Also picked up some prunes to puree and freeze, for future use. 

Poor kid... I feel like she's a little ticking time bomb! I never thought I would care so much about poo. Ha!

[ZacsMumme]

Hugs Hun, reflux is not always outgrown by 6 mths, a lot of LOs reflux peaks between 4-6 mths before it starts to settle as they become more upright and start solids.

I agree with Bex and Erin we always had NW like you are describing with digestive, reflux or teething discomfort. Typically they are all related too.

Have you considered probiotics to help with the balance of good bacteria in the gut during the weaning process? I was very skeptical before trying them.....but they have been wonderful for Z. And we saw a huge improvement in his digestion, NW, poops, and gas.
Some safe foods for refluxers are both pear and avocado, pear is typically one of the gentlest foods on the tummy and is naturally good for constipation. Others are pumpkin and sweet potato. I would avoid cereals too ATM.

A few mls mixed with milk or water should be enough if it's strong. ... I remember once giving Z too much Undiluted and he got a belly ache

Cani ask what meds she was on prior to weaning them for the reflux? X

[mama_tutu]

Hi ZacsMumme! Thanks for jumping in here! I haven't tried the probiotics... I've seen people mention them, but never really looked into. I'll definitely consider that (I know they've helped me out before! haha!). Avocado and pear will for sure be our next 2 foods to introduce, too. My DH is excited about that... he LOVES avocado.    And to answer your question, she was on Zantac for the reflux... 0.8 mls twice daily.

I actually ended up taking DD in to see her pediatrician this morning... She's had some pretty severe dry patches developing all over her back that our regular moisturizing cream wasn't helping at all. He said she definitely has eczema, and that it's probably been itching her like crazy at night after bath time (reason #1 for her restless, fussy nights). So, we now have 2 prescription steroid creams and a plan for that. It didn't even occur to me to relate that to her trouble sleeping, which is why I didn't think to mention it before... makes so much sense now, though!

While we were there, I talked with him about her constipation. He took a look at her diaper area, and as it turns out she has an "anterior ectopic anus"... a birth defect where the rectum is too far forward. Fortunately, it's not severe enough for reconstructive surgery. However UNfortunately, she will always deal with worse-than-average constipation issues (reason #2 for restless, fussy nights... but we knew that!).  We'll just have to stay on top of it with daily prune/apple juice to keep things soft and the occasional suppository if she ever goes beyond 5 days without a BM again.

Thank you all SO MUCH for your help and advice.  We are doing much better with not nursing to sleep at bedtime anymore, soothing her NWs inside her crib, and treating her constipation. I just love, love, love this forum! Know that each of you are a huge blessing to stressed out parents everywhere (especially the FTMs like me!).  Thanks for all the time and effort you put into these boards!

[ZacsMumme]

Wonderful you have some answers, and a plan going forward
Hope things continue to improve Hun

[Erin M]