Baby is impossible to entertain

[~inbalance~]

F is a touchy/textbook guy.  But I have always had trouble putting him down.  I thought he'd get better about it as he gets older, but nope it's still bad.  I understand such a little guy shouldn't be expected to entertain himself for lengthy periods of time, but this is getting ridiculous.  I can't get anything done, I can't attend to my toddler, and it's making getting onto a routine very difficult.  If I catch him in a decent mood, he will let me put him down for 5mins or so as long as I stay in the room and he can see me.  He gets very fussy which quicky escalates to very upset then crying then screaming if I don't come back.  The thing is, sometimes all he wants is just for me to stand in front of him and make funny faces!  He will be crying, as soon as I come back and look at him he gives me this "hi mummy!" smile.     Since he's touchy he's not big on loud or flashy things.  He doesn't care for his bouncy chair, or his playmat, and the jumpers are just out of the question for the time being as that's just too much.  What he does like is lying on the floor with me singing to him and doing patty cake, itsy bitsy spider, etc.  He is not content to sit in my lap.  Even if I am holding him he is not impressed.  And if I do manage to find something he likes it is short-lived, 10-15mins then he is fussing for something else but I can never find anything else!  This is messing up any hope I have of getting into a routine, because right now he can handle 1hr 45min-2hrs A time, but I have such a hard time filling it up that he gets fussy and cranky, and I either end up feeding him or putting him down earlier.  So I'm either encouraging snacking, or UT naps because he's not tired enough.  I'm losing my mind!  Oh, and the baby carrier gets it's fair share of use as well, but he doesn't like that either.  So if I put him in there, he will fuss and cry until he falls asleep which in turn messes up our routine again.  Ack!  I don't expect him to sit by himself for super long periods or anything, but I would like to be able to put him down and have him entertain himself long enough for me to get small things done or take a breather.  It's nice to be wanted, but come on!  lol  So different from T who was SO independent right from the start and still is! 

[clazzat]

E was like this - she grew out of it eventually!  Took longer than 4 months, though.  I would suggest trying to get out of the house a bit - E was always better when we were out and about so there was entertainment built right in, as it were.

I basically worked on trying to get stuff done while they were asleep so that if E was demanding attention all the time then at least I wasn't stressing about not being able to do anything, iyswim?

[ark]

Just want to jump in to see what other say.  I'm in the same position right now except DD is 11 month old.  I think her problem is she wants to go where we go, but isn't crawling yet.  I remember DS doing this too, but I don't know if he grew out of it or if I actually did something to make it better.

[Intransit]

Sorry you're having a tough time Martina---my Lo #2 was like this in the beginning---I agree w pps advice of getting out a bit more--I used to take DD for walks in the stroller just so I would not have to occupy her soley--and the ds had a chance to get out and play too, etc..
Hope things improve!

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

Spencer was like that too, honestly it didn't improve much until she started scooting and could chase me down.  Masyn used to love laying in the playpen surrounded by toys, Spencer never saw the inside of the playpen for more than 2 seconds.  Mommy brain has really wiped out what I did though...must be mother nature's trick to get me to have another!  I have vague memories of trying to get things done during naps & making sure Masyn had all she needed at her finger tips (oh and lots of Dora).  DH did alot of the shopping, etc so I could deal with my little appendage!

[~inbalance~]

Thanks ladies

Clare, you've said before that F sounds a lot like E, so I figured you'd have some advice! 

I do try to get out.  F does better out and about - sort of.  Well, he HATES the stroller, and doesn't do well in the carseat.  But he is happy enough in the carrier as long as I'm moving, so I can put him in there and take T to the park or we go to the Early Years Centre.  We also try to spend lots of time in the yard, he will be happy for a bit if I take him outside but only if I pace around the yard with him. 

I just feel like he's coming up on that age where I want to try to establish some sort of a routine.  I obviously can't be as strict as before since I have T to think about too.  But I guess my biggest problem is how to fill the time at home.  Everything is working against me getting a routine going for him! 

Luckily DH does a lot of the stuff around here - he does all the cooking and shopping, and most of the cleaning, because I just can't do anything!  And I try to do stuff when F naps, but his naps are so short (another problem altogether  ) that it makes it hard, and I'd really like to spend that time with T (or on BW ).

It always helps knowing that other babies are/were like this, and mine isn't the only one!  Well, 4mos down so he's gotta get over it sometime....right? 

[We Three]

Do you have an excersaucer?  How about one of those toy arches that they can lie under....(there are some that aren't obnoxious, lo can just look up at the dangling things)...also 4-5 mos was the age when I put dd in the high-chair (blankies tucked on the sides of her, and the chair tilted back...but I think she liked that she could be in the kitchen with me, up high at our level, kwim?

[~*Nicole*~]

I *know* it's not "safe" but we had a lot of bouncy chair on the kitchen table days. Looking back, I'd do what Anne suggests and use the highchair, but at the time I didn't have one and I fed in a bouncy chair and so that's what I used. She seemed to like that.

[~inbalance~]

Do you have an excersaucer?  How about one of those toy arches that they can lie under....(there are some that aren't obnoxious, lo can just look up at the dangling things)...also 4-5 mos was the age when I put dd in the high-chair (blankies tucked on the sides of her, and the chair tilted back...but I think she liked that she could be in the kitchen with me, up high at our level, kwim?

Yes to all of these.    They were all life savers with T, especially the high chair.  I have one that fits on a normal chair and even reclines for a young baby to sit in.  T always sat in it at the table with us and loved it.  F will tolerate it for a few minutes but it's the same as everything else, if I'm not standing directly in front of him interacting with him he starts fussing, then crying, then screaming.     Usually he is most happy to stay put there first thing in the morning, if I'm lucky I will get 10mins out of him to run around getting breakfast ready.

[~inbalance~]

Oh, and I forgot the Bumbo.  We have one of those too.  Doesn't like that either.   

[~*Nicole*~]

Mr. Needy, eh?

[L76]

Martina F sounds like my DS. Like you and T, my DD was totally independent and didn't need any kind of entertainment. Just used to plonk her down somewhere and she just got on with it.

DS is a different kettle of fish and needs me pulling faces in front of him to. Exhausting isn't it! Music helps us a bit - have you tried that? I play the songs on his bouncy chair really loud and he stops fussing and suddenly listens! I can get a good 5-10 mins out of him like that!

I was hoping he'd of grown out of it by 4 months but perhaps not given your problems!!!

[clazzat]

Incidentally, M was perfectly happy to entertain herself as an infant and has absolutely no independent play skills now; E needed me to entertain her all the time when she was an infant and plays quite well by herself now - you might well find that he changes as he gets older.

[LizzieN]

Hey Martina,
Just wanted to comment that a lot of this may be due to his reflux.  We thought we had a really grumpy baby with DS, he wouldn't be put down, unhappy and unsettled a lot of the time, needed A LOT of us all the time....as he grew we realised that wasn't his personality at all, it was that he was pretty much always dealing with pain and needed quite a lot of stimulation to take his mind off it. I know that F is medicated, so it shouldn't be such a factor, but it may make him a little more touchy than he really is xx

With DS it really started getting a lot better as he was able to sit up and play.  Hugs lovely

[clazzat]

Actually, now that Lizzie mentions it, that's true for E too - as she grew out of the reflux she stopped needing so much attention.

[~inbalance~]

Thanks Lizzie.  I do think you are right to a certain degree.  We had one week where F was more independent and happy to sit by himself.  It was the second week after starting prevacid.  So I know the meds made a big difference.  But it only lasted one week.    Then he was back to needing to be entertained.  I have a hard time wrapping my head around why he was fine for only ONE week.  Sure he couldn't be outgrowing his dosage that fast.

Anyways, I've suspected for a bit now that he could use a higher dose but as you remember from the BCs I am having a hard time getting any doctors to agree with me.  We have a paed appointment in 3wks.  Until then there's no point even thinking about it.  TBH, I have a feeling she won't even be willing to up the dose.  

That said, I do think he's doing well on the meds he is on at the moment.  He is crabby but not necessarily unhappy, if that makes sense?  Just this morning I had him in his chair and he was fussing up a storm.  I walk over to him and start talking, right in his face, and he is thrilled.  All smiles and talking back.  I think he just enjoys human interaction over anything else in the world.  It's tiring for me though, can only do paddy cake so many times!  

Clare, when did E grow out of her reflux?

[LizzieN]

Could be that your F is having a bit of a flare this week sweetie that the meds are controlling but not completely...reflux is aweful like that!!  Hugs lovely.
xx