Should I be waking up my 4.5 month old at a set time in the AM? And from naps?

[chomer]

Hi,

I'm new to the forum and have read many of the post- so helpful.  Thank you!

I have a few questions.  In order to ensure my son's days resemble each other should I wake him up at the same time every morning and from his naps at the 2-hour mark or let him get the rest he seems to want/need?  Is the goal to have him learn consistency of routine or of timing or both?  I've begun waking him at a consistent time in the AM with hopes that it will help improve his short naps.  So far, I haven't seen any change.  If you can offer any advice on the naps as well, please share.  Follows is his routine:

My son is 4.5 months old.  He is on a 4-hour EASY.  However, not until a week ago did I begin waking him up at a consistent time.  I'm waking him at 7 AM, feeding 7 oz. (I should say offering because he isn't usually very hungry in the early AM), up for two hours and then down for a nap at 9 AM.  Unfortunately, the 45 minute intruder arrived at our house when he turned about 2 1/2 months old.  Previous to that time, he'd take solid 2 to 3 hour naps (and slept 12-14 hours at night!!).  I've tried wake to sleep, applying pressure to his limbs and shush/pat.  The only thing that works is actually taking him out of his crib and rocking him back to sleep.  The good news is that he falls back to sleep within 10 minutes and stays down for a total of 2 hours.  The bad news is that I spend countless hours rocking him in the dark because I have to wait until he's drifted into a deep sleep before putting him back in his crib or else he wakes up again.  After a two hour nap he's up at 11 AM.  He takes 7 more oz, plays and then is down at 1 PM.  I repeat the rocking at the 45 minute mark.  At 3 PM he is up, takes 7 oz and then goes down for another nap between 4:30-5 PM.  This one is only 45 minutes.  At 6 he gets a bath, followed by another 7 oz and then is in bed by 7 PM.  We are incredibly lucky that he will sleep straight through the night and has since he was 10 weeks old.  If I don't wake him myself, he'll wake up himself between 7 and 8 AM.  We do a dream feed around 10 PM.

When he wakes at the 45 min mark, he doesn't cry.  He just lies in his crib looking around.  I've left him there for over 45 mins to see what would happen and he just hangs out.  However, if I get him up after only 45 mins of naptime he tires and gets cranky within 30 mins.

Other pertinent info includes that he is formula fed; takes about 45 mins to drink 7 oz. (it's a bit of a battle); takes about 28 oz in a 24-hr period, however is in the 85th percentile for both height and weight, so I don't worry about it; loves being swaddled (we use the Velcro kind- is that bad?); occasionally he uses a pacifier; we us a white noise maker for naps and sleep; and he is a very easy going, laid back, happy baby.

Any suggestions would be great and very much appreciated,
Courtney

[Caroline-Charlies Mummy]

Hello Courtney, welcome to the boards

It sounds like you are doing well with your lo so far, well done, especially on the sleeping through.

I will try to answer some of your questions.

In order to ensure my son's days resemble each other should I wake him up at the same time every morning and from his naps at the 2-hour mark or let him get the rest he seems to want/need? 

I always think that, for sucessful naps, it is a good idea to wake them at a consistent time in the AM. That way, the timing of his first nap, and hopefully therefore subsequent naps, will be consistent - babies thrive on consistency, and it really helps with a good nap routine. With regards to waking him up after his naps, I'm not as rigid about this, but it's important never to let him sleep so long that he misses (or postpones) a feed time. Keep the 'E' timings consistent, or you really will have problems. If he isn't hungry in the early AM, btw, have you tried leaving it for half an hour? I know many people who cannot eat first thing in the morning, and many babies are the same. As long as it doesn't interfere with his first nap, try it a bit later, and see if he takes more.

45 minute naps - from what you describe, it sounds to me like your lo may be ready for longer A time, especially at 4.5 months old - a key time for developmental jumps.  I say this b/c he's waking up at 45 mins and not crying, indicating that he's feeling refreshed after his nap, but then getting tired again soon after. This is b/c he's had 45 mins to make him feel refreshed initially, but then his body realises he hasn't had enough, and gets tired again. I think it might be worth you extending his A time - in 10 minute increments a day (so you're not stretching him too far and getting him overtired). This may help him get 'tired enough' for his nap, and more able to get through his 45 minute transition.

I also think that the rocking in the middle of the nap is doing you no favours. He may well be relying on you to help him transition between his sleep cycles. You'd be much better using ssssh/pat or pu/pd (depending on the temprement of your lo) to help him learn this himself. Please let us know if you need help explaining any of this, we'll be happy to help.

I hope I've helped a bit, please let us know if you need any more help/clarification, and keep us updated on your progress

[chomer]

Caroline,

Thank you so much for your response.  Given he doesn't cry at the 45 minute mark, how would I go about doing PU/PD or ssssh/pat?  My understanding was that these tools are to help calm our babies?  I'd love some clarification.

I'll try to both wait a bit in the AM to give him his bottle and try to extend his 'A' time.  Given his age, 5-mth on the 16th, how long do you think his 'A' time should be?

Thanks,
Courtney

[Caroline-Charlies Mummy]

Hello again,

I think at the 45 minute mark that sssh/pat is the best tool for you, as he doesn't cry, then pu/pd would not be appropriate. I do think, however, that once you've extended his A time, then it may be that he will stop doing this, or it will be much easier to ssssh/pat him back to sleep.

Have you thought about having white noise in his room? This worked really well for my ds, it can often help them through that 45 minute transition. You can get white noise machines, but I just used a radio and left it untuned, between stations.

There is no 'set' A time for different ages, (and tbh I can't remember what A time ds was doing at that age), so all I can advise is that you continue to add 10 minutes a day onto his A time until the naps become better, or you get to a point where he is getting too tired, and you have to rein it back in again. Perhaps someone else can help here?

HTH

[chomer]

I'll definitely try extending his A time.  I just looked back at his sleep log and noticed that the few times I have been able to shhh him through the transition period his preceding A time was 2 hours or just over. 

Actually, yes, he has a white noise machine b/c his bedroom faces the street.  I think it helps!

We actually had a nanny start two days ago.  WOW, is it a TON harder than I anticipated.  I was so excited to be able to have some real Y time, but am finding I have no interest in "sharing" him   Needless to say, lots of tear have been shed over here in the last 48 hours.  It is painful to listen to your baby cry while in some else's care.  I may have to rethink going back to work...

I'll let you know how extending the A time goes.  I have to say it's now increasingly challenging that the nanny is involved.

Wish me luck,
Courtney

[Caroline-Charlies Mummy]

Oh that sounds hard, good luck. Does your nanny share your ideas when it comes to sleep (ie no CIO, etc). It makes it so much easier if she does. (Wow, how sexist am I? I just realised you didn't say whether your nanny was a woman or not ). Anyway, I hope it goes well for you, and I hope having a nanny will take some of the burden off you.

Mind you, one point is that a new nanny is something new for your lo to get used to, and he may well be resistant at first - try to accept this as normal so you don't stress about it as much, and be persistant and consistant (I think that should be my mantra .

Good luck, let us know how you get on

[chomer]

Well, you were right, the nanny is a woman...  I'd say she doesn't agree with me, but tells me she will do anything I ask.  So, she knows never to let him CIO and to keep him on a schedule.  She doesn't think babies should have a routine/schedule.  But, none of that matters b/c I'm his mom 

Thanks for the well wishes.  I'll keep you posted.
Courtney

[chomer]

Some SUCCESS!!  I thought I'd share in hopes that it might help someone out there.  So, first off, my slow eater has now become a faster (I didn't say fast  ) eater.  All I had to do was change the flow speed of his bottle nipples.  Although he is just about 5 months old, we are now using the 7 mth + (must be able to sit up by themselves, which he can't...) fastest flow Gerber nipples.  His eating time has gone down from 45 min - 1 hour to 20 - 30 min.  This has made for a much happier baby and mommy! 

Secondly, the omnipresent swaddle.  Last night as I was Shhhhing him while he was in his crib going down for the night, he popped his left hand out of the swaddle right next to his cheek.  Instead of reswaddling, I decided to hold his hand until he fell asleep.  It worked, the hand didn't prevent him from falling asleep and he was able to stay asleep after I let go!

Lastly, and most important to me, the dreaded 45-min nap.  This AM, I was FINALLY able to get him to fall back asleep after waking at the 45-min point.  I went into his room 30 mins into his nap.  When I saw him begin to stir I began to shhhh and applied pressure to both of his limbs.  At the 45 min mark his eyes opened.  I continued with the shhhing and pressure, while hiding my face so he couldn't make eye contact.  After 4 mins he closed his eyes.  I stayed with him continuing the shhhhing and pressure for another 30 min.  During that time he opening his eyes for a millisecond a few times and fidgeted a few times.  He has now been down for 1 hr and 35 mins!!!  So, what do I attribute to this success?  (1) He's simply getting older, so I think developmentally he's starting to figure this gig out; (2) I took down the mobile that hung above his crib; (3) His preceding 'A' time was 2 hrs and 10 mins (it might have been more, b/c I was in bed when he work up this AM, so can't be certain).  I think my little guy needs a few extra minutes of 'A' time to get him through the 45-min mark. 

This might be only a blip of success, but I'll take it.  I hope the details help someone else!
One happy mommy!

[Wiki]

Sounds like you are doing really well! My 20 week old has A times of 2.5 hours if that helps. I wish he would sleep 7-7 still though, currently he thinks the day starts at 5.30am!

[chomer]

That really does help, thanks.  Prior to his mid-day nap Sullivan's 'A' time was 2 hours and 5 min and sadly the 45-min intruder got him.  I tried Shhhing him for 15 mins to no avail, so I picked him up and cuddled him back to sleep.  Tomorrow, I'm going to make sure his 'A' time is at least 2 hrs and 10 mins.

Wiki, if you happen to shorten your baby's 'A' time, does the length of his nap consequently shorten?

BTW, when Sullivan wakes up prior to 7 AM, I don't go into his room.  If it's before 6:15 ish AM, he usually falls back to sleep by himself.  Otherwise, he just hangs out in his crib (and swaddle...) until 7 AM.  Not sure if this is worth trying out for yourself.

Thanks,
Courtney

[Wiki]

Thanks. Caspar can stay awake and amuse himself for half an hour, then he'll call for us. He's not hungry then though, this morning he ate 1.5 hours after he woke up. So either we need blackout blinds so he can't see anything interesting when he wakes up, or we need to get him some better cot toys!

I can't say I've noticed about long/short awake times affecting naps. Caspar's naps aren't very consistent. Although he's almost been asleep 2 hours now, after an A time of 2hrs 10 mins, but then its catching up on him from the 5am start today I think...