Holding out for fruit?????

[wag]

Hi there

DD who is 13.5 months old was an okay eater up until say 3 weeks ago when it all started going a bit wrong.  We have always  fruit after our lunch and dinner and this was never a problem.  Now we are starting to refuse our main course no matter what it is with the exception at the moment of toast and cheese spread, match stick Cheddar cheese, cold roast chicken maybe the odd bit of cucumber and tomatoes.  I am gong nuts the amount of food that she refuses now is crazy and it always ends up with us giving in and getting out yogurt and fruit. MIL had her yesterday and thought she ate okay, some main and she hardly gave her any main well this resulted in her being up at 3am and taking near on 300ml of milk ( not had a night feed for ages now).

So what do we do? some say o not give her fruit make her wait until next meal, okay but I can guess that this will result in a night feed.

She does not get any snacks, no sugar containing products, and has reacted badly to eggs the twice we have tried scrambles egg.

Tonight's dinner, a few bits of chicken, tried a couple of bits of roasted veg and threw the rest on her tray away ( I enjoyed the ones i kept separate at least)  Some plum baby parsnip Apple and pear puree which i was trying to use as a dip but not a lot.   Then I gave in when the temper started and produced banana, grapes and blue berries and fromaige-frais

Pleas help as I am worried about her iron etc ( use dried apricots to try to help in her porridge).

Any adive and support would be most welcome.

By the way we are not teething at the moment and also in the last week she had her MMR injection but the problems did start before this.

many thanks in advance sorry about the length.

Wendy

[andibig]

Hmmmm
sounds like normal toddler independence .although she is having a healthy alternative i think shes getting the message that if she doesn't want to eat a particular dish then she knows she'll get yoghurt etc.
when sasha used to that or if she now refuses to eat luch/dinner then i just get her down from the table and don't offer any alternatives (i sound like a really nasty mummy ).if she asks for food say an hour later whatever (which is rare) then i offer fruit and nothing else.
HTH

[wag]

I know will just have to be strong and remove her from the high chair and see what happens some time, will work up to it, but not tomorrow as FIL and his wife are coming for lunch.  Was she not hungry later at night then ?

[andibig]

no
although i panicked that she would wake up at night starving hungry she never did.
believe Sasha managed to sleep the whole night on just 1 banana and 2 cups of milk.i swear toddlers could survive on thin air sometimes

[wag]

some how i cannot see dd doing that.  Will have a fresh start in a few days once I am convinced she is over her MMR (slight rash on tummy with it).  A lot of the things she refuses, she used to love thats what i cannot understand.  Made tuna pasta the other day, took 3 spoons well then just stopped, so i picked out the pasta and spread the rest on toast, after a few tears she saw me eating it then decided that she would have a couple of bits.  That why i thought wants to feed her self and why I cooked veg in the oven tonight for her but no.  Any way I am hungry going to go and eat.

Thanks Wendy

[andibig]

Wendy
its always worth considering teething as well.sasha could be teething enough to make her eat less food but not enough to cause lots of discomfort during the day.
also noticed is she able to spoon feed herself or attempting to.if not thats def worth encouraging.

[wag]

Hi there

Regarding the spoon if I put the food on the spoon she will put it in her mouth and hand it back to me, I try to encourage her to put it in the bowl.  This is how dinner went today, she had 6 spoons then stop.  Started asking for a banana and also pointing at the fridge.  As we had guests we went along with it, one banana and one yogurt later she was happy.  So I think she is just holding out.  Will change plan next week, Breakfast is fine will work in lunch, then dinner.

Better go our dinner is in the oven. ( my second of the night after I ate with DD)

Thanks

Wendy

[andibig]

Wendy
i quite often have 2 dinners as well as DD has her dinner fairly early still.
just in case this helps this is what i did with sasha when she showed an interest in wanting to spoon feed herself.
firstly loaded up her spoon and left it on the side of her plate and let her pick it up and gently guide the spoon to her mouth.
once she got the hang of that then i showed her how to load up the spoon herself.so gently guided her hand with the spoon to the food and then to her mouth.
you'll probably find her food intake will go down a little as they are practising.
also i thought about other foods your DD could eat with her fingers as well.doesn't necessarily have to be traditional finger foods sasha would often eat spag bog with her fingers (v messy).
HTH

[taygensmom]

I agree with the above posts that although fruit and yogurt are not unhealthy alternatives, if it is becoming an issue where she is holding out for only these items then I would personally just not offer them as an alternative for a few days. If she refuses her meal and is requesting the fruit/yogurt, I would just say "here are your choices right now" and then offer her the main meal choices again. If she continues to refuse I would just respect that and end the meal. If she requests food an hour or so later then I would again offer the main meal or somthing else besides the yogurt/fruit as the alternative.

It will probably be difficulty for the first 3 days or so, but you would be surprised how quickly your LO will adjust. You just have to be prepared to roll with some initial tantrums and things will get better! Oh, and in regards to the night wakings from hunger...I know this will be hard, but I would be pretty diligent not to give her food/milk at night if she goes through a few days on eating less during the day. You know she can go all night without food/milk, as she usually does so. If you start feeding her at night because she didn't eat much during the day, what can often happen is she will start waking at night consistently for food, and then you will have another problem to tackle. Instead, I would just work on getting her back to sleep without the feed so that she and her body learn that she needs to take her calories in during the day, and so that things don't get switched around so she is making up for calories at night. I know that sounds impossible, and her sleep may be messed up for 3 or 4 days, but if you persist the eating will get better during the day and the night wakings for food should stop again! HTH

[wag]

Hi there thanks for your replies

Yesterday she had a good breakfast, lunch was very poor , she had a yogurt and no fruit and then went with DH to Gran's where she had fruit !!! (will deal with that).  Dinner ate 19 spoons of savory which is really good for now and then some strawberries.  Bedtime, not happy girl only took about half of her milk, then asleep at 8pm.  She woke at 2.30am, i worked with her until 4am and gave in and gave her milk, as i had to get to bed as I have work today.  Got her to sleep at 5pm ( then me up at 6am).  MIL watches her today will see how things go.    Will update once I see what happens tonight.

She is keen to feed her
self and getting good at it.  Works at breakfast but not really at other meals, so convinced it is the food type and not the method of feeding.

Thanks

Wendy

[taygensmom]

You could try diluted milk at night if youa re really struggling some nights and see if that works to slowly wean on the tough nights... Just a thought.

[daniellechiasson]

I dont mean to throw a wrench into the advise you've already been given but IMO I would let her eat what satisfies her. My DD goes through phases where she loves a certain food then a week later wont touch it. She went off bananas for a whole month now she's back onto them. Right now it's hit or miss with her meats, sometimes she will devour chicken like no tomorrow, next attempt she wont eat more than 1 bite.

If you think about your tastes as an adult I'm sure you have had times when you craved something and other times something you would normally like didn't sound so good when suggested you eat it.

Obviously I won't suggest giving her candy or sweets as alternatives but fruit and yogourt seem like ok subsitutes after trying a regular meal. Just to clarify, DD eats what we as a family are having for supper, I never make her something seperate anymore, she just might get a bit more 'dessert' (fruit) then I originally anticipated.

I might be a bit lax but I would rather have my DD eat something healthy rather than nothing at all. I also am partial to a full nights sleep.

OMHO, Danielle

[wag]

Thanks for replies

Last night when i got home MIL said she ate well, but when I looked at quantity I knew not, ended up giving her a banana before her bath then milk afterwards ( MIL has a thing about quantities anyway always thinks kids are fed to much).  She slept through last night, she is with my parents today.  The night feed there has only been twice in the last few months.  Hard to work a plan when parents help with her care, but this week I have changed days to give me 3 days in a row so I can be the tough mummy.  This morning she lifted her teether out of box while packing and then chewed it all the way to me parents, will try to look and not loose a finger tonight.  Also going to work on fruit recipes such as chicken and apple, beef and apricot, any other suggestions welcome.

With regard to her food she gets no sweets or anything that contains sugar and only drinks milk or water.  The other day she ate what she wanted, fruit fruit fruit, which was the day she was hungry at night, to be honest I think the fruit does not fill her enough.  Will update once I see what has happened today.

Wendy

[wag]

Well

The last two days have been really hard, I have been eating with her as normal, but she does not want her savory, I have been eating the same food and even offering from my plate to temp her.  Yesterday day she ate only half her porridge, lunch time 3 bits of sweetcorn then threw the rest away ( great new dish which I found yummy)  so I put her down to play, Come 3pm she was pestering me, I offered savory, not that intrested.  Therefore we had dinner early at 4.20pm,, tomatoes, cucumber, cold ham, baby pita bread, and cream cheese, ate all tomatoes, nibbles on another couple of bits, then threw a strop, she only ate half a yogurt. put her down, cleaned up then took a walk.  Playing in swing when DH got home, we decided to give her a banana, which she ate super quick and finished her yogurt.  Bed time was earlier as well, half way through her milk her just fell asleep just like that.  She slept through but got up earlier at 6.20am (normally 7am)  She never finished her milk that really surprised me.  She is with my parents today, I wish them luck.

God I find this side so hard, we just solved a lot of the sleeping problems now straight in to food.  Between having a sore neck for three weeks (going to see doctor) DH starting a new job, and so on, I just need a nice day anywhere.

Better go at work!!!

Thanks for advice sorry a bout the rant X

Wendy

[andibig]

Hey feel free to rant whenever you want .its what we are here for!

I know this is really difficult but try not to stress too much.Most of our eating problems with sasha at around that age and younger was getting so worked up about it.
you panic cos they are not eating (or not eating what we think they should) but no child will starve themselves willingly.
if she doesn't want it or throws it on the floor, just clear up the mess and thats it.if she senses you are geetting stressed she'll pick up on it.
honestly its just a phase they go through and if you can be laid back about it ,it will pass.
HTH