2-1 transition help with 1 year old

[JennVanessa1083]

Hi! So I actually did try 4 hrs in the am and got a 1.5 nap (however, this was after a 9 hour Ot night since we had a wedding). This is what I did:

WU 7 am
S 11-12:30 pm (closer to 4:05 A; woke up at 37 minutes then I resettled; did just under 1.5 hrs)
S 4:35- 5:07 pm (DH put him down and had lots of fighting before falling asleep)
BT 8:22 pm (A 3.25)

He did an almost 7 hour stretch, then he woke up hourly until his WU time. 

Not sure what that's about now...he keeps waking more frequently in the early morning or waking up too early where his night is shortened. Ahhhhhh it's driving me crazy not knowing if it's OT, UT, teething, wonder week, all of the above?!

I don't know what to do

I'm almost tempted to just push to one nap but I'm so scared of making things worse than they are. Maybe I should have done a 4.5 first A?

[JennVanessa1083]

He's starting to fight both naps now. Not sure if it's built up OT or he's just not tired ugh!

This is our normal EASY which ok following today:

WU 7:30 am
S 11-11:30 am (3.5)
S 2:45-4:15 pm (3.25)
BT 7:45-8 pm (3.5-3.75)

Today he fought his pm nap for 15 minutes. I was a little late putting him down (8 minutes late) bc we were at a park. Would he really get that OT to fight this hard? He only slept for 1.25; then he fought bedtime. I aimed for 3.5; he fought and fell asleep at 3.75 but then woke up a couple of times before midnight ugh!

Should I have put him down earlier? It's so frustrating!

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

15 min isn't too bad to settle for a nap really...but if you are getting ew that is a sign of needing a tweak - they tack on A time where they can get it by waking up early!

Honestly I would attempt a one nap day and see how the night goes after it, of course one day and night may not give you the whole picture but may be a reset of sorts as I think you are stuck in an ut/ot loop as he isn't getting enough A in the day to get a good restorative nap and then the nights suffer and he tries to compensate for the A time by waking early and then the cycle continues.

[JennVanessa1083]

Ok that makes sense. So what would a good start be bc I tried a 4 hr A but barely got 1.5 which would have gave me a long A before bed. What if he doesn't sleep 2 hrs?

So cutting the am to 20 min wouldn't necessarily help? Should I extend the first A more than 3.5 and still cut the nap to see if that helps?

I really need help on how to do this because he's clearly getting chronically OT and is waking up after 10 hours of sleep crabby which is unlike him. 

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

You could try capping the morning nap first, it may do the trick short term to get him by. Or alternate one and two nap days - often when you go to one nap it takes them a bit to lengthen the nap so sometimes they need to go back and forth to cope better. When you make the first nap shorter you may be able to move the 2nd nap a bit earlier because he should be tired sooner for it.

[JennVanessa1083]

ok I can try that for a couple of days and see if that helps matters.

What would be an example of an EASY where there's a 20 minute morning nap and a 1.5 pm nap?

I'm also wondering if I should opt for pushing out the am nap to encourage a long one then maybe a CN? Maybe the long pm and long A before bed is contributing to the NW and EMW?

What would an easy look like with a long am/short pm nap?

Maybe:

WU 7:30
S 11:30-1 pm (A 4 hrs)
S 4:45-5:15 pm (3.75)
BT 8:15-8:30 pm (3-3.25)

Thank you so much for your help, this transition is getting so tricky just when I thought I cracked it lol

[JennVanessa1083]

So I tried the above this far and got this today:

WU 7 am
S 10:45-12:05 (A 3.75; he seemed really tired)
S 4:05- 4:39 (A 4hrs; cried and fought sleep for more than 15 minutes; woke up cranky and then snoozed for 5 minutes while nursing)

We will see what the night holds.

I was trying to see if pushing the am nap out is a better option. I think I'm all around confused at this point lol

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

You can push the am nap and still keep it a catnap, and bring the 2nd nap in earlier. Sorry this is not my forte - lol totally why we went cold turkey!!! I think whatever you choose the most important is to stick to it for a good week or so to see if it actually  helps before tweaking again. The problem with trying to follow a long nap with a catnap at this stage is they will be ut and it will either take apop or be impossible for them to sleep (happened with DD3, we were getting 2nd nap refusals so we dropped it entirely).

[JennVanessa1083]

Lol well I appreciate muddling with me in the trenches though! Of course if there are any BTDT moms it would be great to hear some insight on that end.

Yea it was a disaster! We did a pm CN after 4 hours of A (I tried for 3.75 and he fought hard) then he was OT at BT fighting sleep when I tried at 3 hours and didn't actually fall asleep until 3.5 A after a 40 min CN 

Today he went down at 3:40 after some fighting and slept 30 minutes, fell asleep during nursing for another 15 minutes! He was exhausted smh. The pm nap was another hard fight with tons of crying. He did a 3:40 A after a 45 minute nap and woke up after only an hour! Can't be too much A is it or is it UT. He's been touchy all day abd I'm assuming it's from OT building up and it feels like everything I'm doing is making things worse.

We had NW every 1.5-3 hours last night! I'm not looking forward to tonight.

Has anyone been through this? I'm losing my mind dealing with this.

I have yet to have him STTN since this transition started around 10 months 

Help!!!

[JennVanessa1083]

He's fighting bedtime bigtime! Tonight it was more than 20 minutes complete with crying and eye rubbing. I tried for a 3.25 A after an hour nap. He can't be OT change?

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

His naps were 1 hr 45 min today all together? Possibly OT by bedtime I think. Was he sttn prior to 10 months?  The A in between the naps may need to be a lot shorter as if you do the math he will have been up for a total of nearly 7.5 hours with only 45 min sleep (which was a broken nap as well). That is part of the idea of the 2-1 - the first nap gets shorter and the A time between them decreases to the point that it just becomes one nap. The catnap is just a way to.hold off the longer nap until later.

Have you ever done an ebt? Would a one nap day and ebt work?

[JennVanessa1083]

He never slept through the night consistently I'm afraid. It was my mistake allowing him to snooze rather than getting him up. I think he's so OT that I may have to shorten the first A a little just to get a short nap where he doesn't wake up super groggy. So after a 30 minute nap would a 3 hour A be reasonable?

Yes he only slept a total of 1:45 in naps unfortunately. Lately it's getting harder to get him to at least due 2 hrs in total say sleep. What's a good EASY example for a short am/long pm? I clearly am struggling a lot.

As for 1 nap, he doesn't tack on sleep consistently with a EBT. What A times would I do before and after his nap?

[JennVanessa1083]

Update: so last night was better. We still had a NW almost 7 hours after BT and a EMW where I APOPed and he fell asleep for another hour.

Here's what today looked like; maybe some insight since I feel like I'm still floundering lol:

NW 2:56, 5:41 am

Total: 10.5 hrs

WU 6:49 am
S 10:29- 10:59 am (A 3:40; aimed for 3.5 but fought sleep for 20 minutes)
S 2:17-3:14 pm (A 3:18; fought a little but no crying; popped up)
S 3:27- 3:51 pm (after nursing fell asleep so I guess was OT?)
BT 7:34 pm ( A 3:43; looked tired at 3.5 but didn't fall asleep until this time; fought a tiny bit but no crying)

Edit: He was up for an hour wide awake between calm and crying. He woke up not even 5 hours after bedtime. I nursed him out of desperation. Then he wakes up at 6 am!!!! He only had 9 hours of sleep. I tried for over an hour and a half to get him back to sleep! Is this UT? Can't be OT on these A times can it?! This has never happened before.  I don't know what to do to make this better.

I'm at the end of my rope. Please if anyone who has any insight or any BTDT moms can please please help me. I'm desperate at this point. I almost want to just go cold turkey bc this is insane.

[JennVanessa1083]

Sorry! I forgot to ask...how do I switch from a short am/ long pm nap routine to a long am/short pm routine?

I think I'm ready to admit defeat on our old EASY. It's just not working anymore and things are getting worse.

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

Sorry had work yesterday so have not had a chance to reply to any posts!

If you want to switch to long am/short pm it may be tricky - if he needs a long A time to get a good first nap then you run the risk of him not taking a catnap (of course that is where ebt comes in). Going cold turkey is not necessarily a bad thing, it may help to reset things. But you have to stick with it for a good while (a couple of weeks) to see if it works and if the nap will lenghten. Or perhaps go back and forth between one and two nap days.

Just curious, for nw/ew or mid nap wakes do you often nurse him back to sleep? Part of the issue may be prop related as well and any changes to routine may not result in great naps or sttn if he cannot resettle himself.