7 1/2 mo. old Short napper--Help!!

[enzosmama]

Hi,
My son is 7 1/2 mos. old and consistently takes short naps (30-45 min). He's always still tired when he wakes but refuses to be put back down. By the time the day is ready to wind down he's so overtired that our bedtime routine is always such a struggle. Any suggestions?

Thanks so much!

Danielle

[enzosmama]

Hi, our easy routine looks something like this: this varies seeing that he wakes up anywhere from 530 to 630am.

E: between 730 and 8am
A: 8am-830 (by this time he's already super tired)
S: 830-9 (it can take up to 30 min. to get him to sleep)

wind down routine: darken room and read two books.

thanks for your help!

Danielle

[enzosmama]

Hi,
Enzo goes to bed between 645 and 7pm every night. That's the only part of the day that's consistent! The rest of our day is pretty crazy. I'll use today as an example:
1230am nursed for 10 min. (went right back to sleep)
330am gave him binkie
4am nursed (nursed for 10 min. (went right back to sleep)
615 up for day
8am fed solids (played a little bit but immediately saw he was already tired)
815 first nap (took about 30 min. to get him down)
10am out and about; grocery shopping
1140 nap # 2 though it lasted 20 min. so I worked to get him to go down again and slept until 1250.
100 played inside and then ran an errand
315 nap # 3 (took about 25 min. to get him down)

So, we sort of have a routine but it just seems like his napping isn't long enough b/c he's always still tired and it's ALWAYS so hard to get him down. He fights me to no end--I hate that he cries.

Thanks so much for taking the time to read this!

It's truly appreciated.

Danielle

[enzosmama]

Okay, we'll work on getting to two naps.

I will try to extend his A times but he "tells" me he's tired so early on. Do I just ignore his tired signs and keep him up a bit longer? Will I then miss my window? His last nap of the day today ended after only 30 min. and it's now 4pm PST. It seems too late to try and put him back down before his 7pm bedtime. This is my dilemma! hopefully extending his A times will help with this. I'm pretty sure that the 1st time he nurses it's b/c he's truly hungry; it's been 5-6 hrs. though the 2nd feeding is just for comfort. I have to wean him off that one. Thanks again.

[CharlotteandCharlie]

Hi there.  I just wanted to add my two bits here.  Stacy has helped me as well but I wanted to share what's happened at our house.

My dd has always been a very poor napper but with respect to A time I wanted to comment that she was at about 3.25 - 3.5 hours of A time at 7.5 months old (perhaps my error).  She seems to have shortened that to a comfortable even 3 now.  I had posted before that I struggled with only two naps a day because it was crazy for her to nap 40 mins and expect her to be up for the required 4 hours until another nap.  That just wasn't going to be possible.

Like this...

7 wake
10 nap
10.40 awake
(now she would have to be awake for 4.20 hours until her next nap in order to get through the day.  That was crazy!)
 
So what I did for a while was go for a walk, car ride anything so she would get 10 - 20 power nap during the middle of the day in.  Then she would go down as normal at 3.  If she slept until 4 we could make it through the day till bedtime at 7.30.  Does that make sense?

So around 8.5 months dd started to sleep way better and has a very solid two naps a day.  It looks like this ... but is not set in stone.

7.15 wake
9.45 nap
11.45 wake (sometimes this is only 1.5 hours)
3.00 nap
4.30 wake (sometimes this is only 1 hour)
7.30 bed

I agree that your lo's A time could be a bit longer and it is tricky dealing with the misery in the beginning but they seem to sort themselves out.  Try saving his favorite activity for around 2.5 hours.  Dd loves standing at a foot stool or coffee table and playing with the cordless phone or toys.  As long as she's standing and bounding her knees she's happy. (I support her and sit with her) Pull out the fail safes for that time and maybe he will forget for a few minutes that he's crabby.

Also I found that night wakings were related to naps in that once she learned to go back to sleep without being picked up in the middle of the night she continued to sleep on her own as well as toss and wake and go back to sleep for her naps.  Once you are prepared to tackle the night nursings hopefully the naps would follow.

Hope any of that helps.

[enzosmama]

charlotte,

thanks so much for your info! I've got a question, if it takes me about 30 min. to get him to sleep do still keep in up the 2.5 hrs or 2 hrs and then account for the other 30 min. in there? Also, any suggestions on extending his short nap time? Thanks so much for the help!

Danielle

[CharlotteandCharlie]

Honestly after a week or so of extended A time and trying to get that short cat nap things evened themselves out.  I did have success with the method of bringing her out of sleep before the usual 40 min but they could have both fell together themselves.

If he wakes at 40 mins go into his room and tickle his cheek or strock his head at 28 mins.  What I did was opened the door to make a little bit of noise.  She would do a bit of a jolt and go back to sleep. This seems to help bring them out of their level of sleep before their habitual time and go back to sleep again surpassing the usual 40 mins.  (Stacy taught me that one)

I would clock A time from the time he gets up to the time he's asleep.  You will probably find that he will go to sleep faster once you increase his A time.  You may end up with an overtired baby but just take note of that and work it back a bit from there.  My dd and I are not regimented but I feel like we are in tune with eachother these days.  Sometimes she wants to sleep after 2.5 hours and that is fine too but for now I would increase A time and get a feel for him.  Try keeping a log!  Its so easy to forget one day from the next never mind each nap what happened for each.

Do you think you have an effective wind down routine?  Does he know that A+B = sleep?  Or is he just not tired yet?

Lemme know what you think. 

[enzosmama]

Charlotte,
Gosh, what a great tip! I would have never thought that "waking" him up early can extend his nap time. I will have to give this a try. Wish I would have read this sooner seeing that I'm still fighting w/ him to get him back to sleep. He went down at 915 (after 2.5 hrs. of A time) and only slept until 950. It's now 1035 PST and I'm STILL working w/ him. He is SO tired. He (we) were up every hr. sometimes every 1/2 hr. last night b/c he napped so little during the day yesterday. (I ended up putting him to bed at 630!!) I'm SO frustrated. Every time I go in his room he's standing and screaming. 
I'm not sure if my wind down routine is effective or not. We go into his room, draw the room darkening shades, I say, "goodbye sunshine see you when I'm done napping," turn on sounds of the ocean and try to read him a story. This usually fails though. He was super cranky this morning; I got through a small part of the story and ended up just putting him in his crib. It took me a good 20-25 min. to get him to sleep.
I know that he knows A + B = sleep at night time. We have a routine and when it's time to hit the crib he goes to sleep w/ no problem. He usually sleeps a good 5 hrs initially and then the rest of the night goes down the toilet.
P.S. My husband and I are desperate for sleep! Aren't we all though!  Thanks again.

[enzosmama]

sorry, one more question: at this point it's almost been an hr. do I just go get him or try and keep napping him? He's so stubborn. Thanks.

[CharlotteandCharlie]

sorry, one more question: at this point it's almost been an hr. do I just go get him or try and keep napping him? He's so stubborn. Thanks.

I am not sure ... are you saying he's been awake in his crib for an hour or asleep? 

You may have to get some other advice on how long you should try for a nap and what to do to prepare for the next one if it all goes to pot.  What I do is if after 10 min we do another low key activity and I try again if she is showing signs about 30 mins later.  I am not schooled in the ways of the BW only what I've picked up and remember from reading it 1.5 years ago. 

I can tell you not to get discouraged after a day.  I know its magical when it works the first time and we all seem like super stars on this site but give it a bit if you can.  As far as the night wakings we have just had moderate success ourselves and I think that coinsided with naps and being able to wake up a bit and fall back asleep after tossing and turning a bit.  I also stopped going in a picking her up.  It was a fail safe and a good snuggle and she would pass out again.  (Stacy's help) Trouble is I was up 3 - 7 times a night.  Now if I have to I go in and cover her up again and pat her back a bit if need be.  I miss the snuggle but I LOVE the sleep I'm getting.

Let me know if there is anything else you need at all. 

Stacy, you still around.  Does this sound a.o.k.? 

[enzosmama]

I usually give him his binkie and put his fav. blanket up near his face. He fights me to no end for about 20-30 min. He's standing now, so that's how I always find him; crying and standing. I tried the p/u p/d and it seemed to stir him and make him more frustrated though it was only the first time. Of course he'd be confused. I will for sure keep trying. I took your suggestion and extended his A time and this last nap seemed to not be such a fight though he's taking it at the wrong time. Asleep at 4pm PST when bedtime is 7pm. I guess the thing is to get naps down and then adjust the time?

I'm only discouraged b/c I'm SO exhausted I can barely see straight. I know, though all of us are tired!

Does the isolation of doing this go away? I feel like I am at the mercy of his sleeping.

Thanks again you guys.

[CharlotteandCharlie]

Can you explain what you mean by fight?  Are you constantly laying him down and he gets up?  Is he crying and refusing to snuggle up? 

I began Charlie's wind down routine by sitting in the dark by lamp light.  Reading a book or two and then on goes the white noise.  I put her to my shoulder with her blanket and she suckles it, I pat her back rhythmically and she begins to relax.  99% of the time I can then lay her down and she will drift off.  For my dd the key was to get her good and relaxed.  She is a spitfire girl.  I do admit I think this got me in a bit of trouble but I hold her less now and she is capable of going the rest of the way on her own.  She is not standing or sitting from a laying position so I can't comment from experience but maybe if he were relaxed and calm about the napping ritual he would accept that its time to lay in his crib and go to sleep.  I don't know though sorry.

One thing I also did to eliminate night feedings was feed her when she woke between 10.30 - 12.00. She used to wake several times in the evening but if I fed her long enough after she had gone to sleep I could in good conscious not feed her in the middle of the night considering her age was appropriate.  If she woke I would go in tuck her back in and tell her I love her.  If she was very frantic I would pat her back or pick her up ... again this may have gotten me in trouble.  She began to settle nicely but then became dependant on my picking her up and tucking her in.  Now I try to touch her as little as possible.  I am all about snuggles and loving your lo but I did see how that was becoming detrimental to her sleeping abilities and my lack of sleep.

So for naps lets say he wakes at 7.00

7.00 wake
9.30 begin wind down
9.40 in bed

Ideally wakes at 11.30 ish
11.30 wake
2.40 nap (assuming as the day goes on he can handle more A time)
4 - 4.30 wake
Bedtime 7.30

This is roughly what Charlie does on a good day but I don't worry too much if it doesn't.  For instance yesterday she did this ...

6.45 wake
9.30 nap
10.30 awake (no way could she make it till 3.00)

waited until 2 hours had gone by and ran an errand knowing she'd cat nap in the car

12.40 cat nap for 20 mins (car naps are not good naps but get us through)

2.40 nap
4.30 wake
7.30 bed

Does that help?

[traceyt]

Just a quick comment - at 7.5 m i always found that even if dd had a catnap anywhere from 4-4:45, she was still ready for bed by 6:30 and in fact it was easier to get her to sleep because she wasn't too tired.

[enzosmama]

Firstly, I want to say thanks to all of you and your advice!

What I mean by fights me is that I can see that he's clearly tired; ear pulling, rubbing eyes, dark circles under his eyes. So, I have tried to implement a nap routine. It goes like this: pull the room darkening shades, put on his noise machine (ocean waves) and attempt to read a book or two. I NEVER get through this without him fussing. So, I put him in his crib, give him the binkie and his fav. blanket. He rolls his eyes back and rubs his face all over the blanket. I then walk out of the room. Two sec. later he's crying and standing up. We repeat this process SEVERAL times, sometimes 30 min. worth. I've extended his A time but he still seems to do this.

Enzo is a very spririted baby. He doesn't sleep much during the day or night. (This leaves for a very, very cranky baby by the end of the day)He's constantly on the go. He was standing in his crib at 5 1/2 mos. and crawling at 6. He's just SO active. I have a very hard time calming him. I have yet to find what works. (I am so, so tired.)

As far as night feedings, I've got him down to one. I've just extended that particular feeding to later in the night and he seems to be just fine with that. Though, all the wakings; every 30-60 min. are a killer.

Thanks again.