5.5 months need to get serious with EASY now

[bexandlucy]

This post could cover a whole load of categories, I'm sorry if I've chosen the wrong one, we are
in a bit of a mess.

M is 5.5 months now, and his night times are getting worse and worse. I introduced a dummy at 18 weeks to help with daytime sleep (which it did he self settles with it quite well for naps). He wakes for 2 night feeds (bf) at night but the dummy caused him to wake every hour we're past that now and he tends to go bed at about 7:15 then sleep till midnight but after that first feed he just won't settle. We've gotten into bad habits and he just wants to sleep in bed with me, but even then he doesn't settle and last night he was awake between 3:30 and 5. My husband is sleeping on the sofa and I am exhausted.

I know it's partly our fault for getting into bad habits and I need to be strong and try pu/pd to try and tackle this. But I do feel we have an EASY problem.

Wake and E 07:00
A  can manage about 2hrs 15 before very grumpy
S 9:15 this nap for the last week has been 45 mins and unable to resettle

E 11:00
S 12:00 this nap he will literally sleep for hours and hours yesterday I woke him after 2hrs 20, the day before 3 hours (just when he's sleeping I get time with L so I'm loathe to wake him)

E 3:00
S 5:00 45 min catnap
Bedtime about 7:15
 
Wakes at 00:00 feed (feed to sleep)
Wakes at 3:30 (feed to sleep)
Unsettled for the rest of the night. If we co sleep he settles better but if I try and put him down he wakes either immediately or after 45 mins.

I'm clueless as to how to work the rest of the routine after the 45 minute nap. I've been slowly extending his A time but he gets really grumpy by then. I know the long nap at 12 isn't helping matters but if I woke him up after 1.5/2 hours so say 1:30 or 2 pm how would I plan the rest of the day re naps? Also I think the nw's are leaving him knackered.

He sometimes responds to turning onto his tummy, sometimes he hates this. Has the dummy and a lovey, the dummy sometimes needs to be placed a few times before he settle as he drops it (I think he is pulling it out accidentally) but otherwise at naps and bedtime he self settles well. I desperately need a cot, he's outgrowing the crib (currently about 21lb), but he naps well in the crib and the first half of the night too.

If you have got this far, thank you for reading and I would really appreciate any advice because I'm starting to get very stressed out, my daughter bless her is really missing my time and attention. This forum was a saviour when she was little.

Bec x

[bexandlucy]

I should add, before we introduced the dummy, he self settled occasionally but we mostly fed to sleep but nights were good, he'd go to bed about 8 and sleep 12 hours with one or two feeds but resettling in the crib afterwards beautifully. Hence why I think the dummy has caused us to get into bad habits.

[bexandlucy]

Ok today was more like this:

Woke at 6:30 (was already in bed with me) and fed, fussed for a while but dozed back off and I left him in bed till he woke around 8:15
E 10
S 10:30 (he fell asleep feeding but woke as I took him up but resettled)
Woke at 12

E 14:00
S 14:30- 16:15

Got very grumpy and grizzly around 17:45 as I think he was hungry but I was doing L's bath time, fed him ASaP but was around 18:15
E again at 18:45 ( I had a blocked duct I needed him to clear lol)
Story and sleep at 7

So I'm interested in how tonight goes. Think he was OT by bedtime, not sure if I let him have too much/too little on the naps.

[*Ali*]

Hi, sorry you have been talking to yourself

I think there may be 2 issues at play here. One is the dummy. I think that has become a prop and you have two options. You can wean it and teach him to settle himself without it. Or you can wait until he learns to replug it himself and see if he is happy to do that. I also think if you want to stop bringing him into your bed you just need to commit to not doing it (easier said than done I know) and be persistent until he stops expecting it. You may find he sleeps better in the cot where he has more space. He isn't swaddled is he so he will be able to choose his own position soon.

The other issue is probably that he is starting the 3-2 transition and needs 2 good naps rather than 3. Have you seen this link? All about the 3-2 transition- 5/6 months I would also gradually keep pushing the morning nap to try and get a longer morning nap more consistently. What do you think?

[bexandlucy]

Hi, thanks for your reply!

Yes definitely agree about the dummy, but it has done more good than harm I think, I really value being able to put him down easily for naps as I have a coming up to 3 year old and she was being almost sidelined as I was  constantly trying to settle him. So I don't really want to wean it. I'm trying to teach him how to replug it and going to buy some glow in the dark ones too.

But he does a really long stretch between 7 and nearly midnight without it, so I am hoping he isn't too dependant on it.

So, yes, dropping the CN. That makes perfect sense. So the 45 min am nap could be UT?

Will wrk on stretching his A time. He actually managed 2hr40 this afternoon happily and fell asleep in the sling so got a feeling you're right there. I screwed up am nap as had to go out and he fell asleep in sling and woke after 30 mins so today went:
Wake & fed 6:30
S 9:30 (he was tired before this but I couldn't put him for nap as was taking L to preschool) - 30 mins
E 10:30
S 11-13
E 14:30
S 15:45 - 17:00
E 18:30
Bed @ 19:15

So not ideal really! But tomorrow is a new day!

[*Ali*]

Yes the first nap is probably UT. Although as I'm sure you know today's 30 min one was more likely UT.

He is probably close to the age where he will be able to replug himself, especially if you help him practise. I have heard of people putting several dummies in the cot and even tying them onto lovies to help LO be able to find one.

[ZacsMumme]

Hugs Hun. I'm tagging along too as we're in a similar situation.
The dummy does become an issue. We have one too (blessing and a curse right) but also I'm finding my 5.5 mth old really still needs then but doesn't as without it he's OT, with it the day is too long and he's OT can't win.
bear in mind developmentally the is a wonder week ( here is a funny take on the depressing time for us mummies)
http://booshy.wordpress.com/tag/wonder-week-26/

We had a 25 min nap this am where usually I get at least 1.5 with maybe a resettle sometimes. So hugs, your not alone

[shez12]

Is there a wonder week at 26? That would sure explain my LO behaviour lately. >_< It's been day 3 of fussiness, trantrums, clingyness, sleep deprevation, cot parties, etc etc.

The light at the end of the tunnel is extremly dim atm...

[ZacsMumme]

Yes, it starts around 22.5 wks and can last up to 4 weeks

[bexandlucy]

Hi Sara thanks for the hugs, and while i wouldn't wish it on anyone its good to know I'm not alone.

The blog is great, apart from one thing..... We haven't hit 26 weeks yet eeek! Got another week and a half before that one :-/ or can they happen early, cause if thats the case it would explain a lot!

Well I have tried stretching his A time 2hrs 40 this morning and he has done a 2 hour nap on the back of that! Its pouring with rain so no going out today, I can work on A times  & naps, will attempt another 2hr 40 this afternoon.  (Yesterday was rubbish and lots of time in the car but still tried to extend A times as well as I could, it did give us a better night and a slightly later morning.)

Which will make our day look like this:
Wake 6:45
E 7:30 (not sure why he didn't want to feed straight away)
A 2hr40
S 9:25

wake11:30 (I had to wake him up)
E 12

I'm planning next nap at 2:10. If he does another 2 hours then that'll be 4:10 so should i do bedtime early? (Usually about 7:15)

I'm worried that 2 long naps though is going to be too much?

And great idea about multiple dummies, I hadn't thought of that, and tying it on the lovey, will definitely be doing that.

[ZacsMumme]

It starts as early as 22.5 weeks a d can last up to 4 weeks. Week 26 is when the new skills start to emerge, though my LO is 24 or so weeks and is starting onto show some of them so it's not exact

Personally I would do EBT ie 6.30 and see how it goes with 2 long naps to after 4

[bexandlucy]

Oh well good! Maybe the end is in sight then.

I went with the early bedtime, although it was more like 7 once I'd got L sorted in the bath, he seemed knackered though so I'm a bit worried we might have hit OT at some point today. Will see what the night brings. What is your lb's routine like at the moment?

[ZacsMumme]

OT often happens in this house no matter what I try - I have a baby that is allergic to BT were in evening 2 of sleep training eeek.

Our routine today was
WU 6.40
Nap 9.10-11
Nap 1.30-3.30
BT was meant to be 6-6.15 but ended up 6.45 T is a good napper, it's BT that sux.

We have just cut the CN as our evenings were terrible, like hours of settling him and always past 8 pm

Ps I LOVE your avatar!

[bexandlucy]

Ahhh thank you! I was admiring yours too

I credit the dummy with our good naps. It really does make settling so much easier, we didn't do it with Lucy and spent many an hour trying to soothe settle and on tenterhooks listening out for her at nap times.

Does your LO manage those A times ok? Miles seems to be struggling past 2.5 hours. 2 hr 40 was a tad too much I think, so cut it back slightly. But yesterday had to add in an extra 15 min booby nap.

We went out last night for a meal and left the in laws in charge and he woke up apparanlty at 10:30 and had 2oz expressed bm and then he slept till 3am! Very unsettled after that though, so I was thinking of possibly introducing a dreamfeed. And see what happens.

Today I'm hoping will go something like this:
wake8:15
S 10:50 - 12:30
S 2:15 - 4
Bedtime 6:30

I always find early bedtime difficult because of Lucy 's routine. How do you get around that?

[bexandlucy]

Oh and also struggling to work feeds around those naps too, he's not really on solids properly yet.