8 month old new night wakings/cries for hours! Help!

[chesterella]

hi lu
during his NW from 2:30-4 he is usually uncomfortable, grunting, trying to sit up and such. if i leave him alone long enough it turns into full out hysterics so i try to go in there and settle him before that happens. i do this by giving him his binky (paci), shh/pat, and if that doesnt work, i pick him up and we sit in the rocker til he calms down. usually, i have to pick him up and if i am realy tired we go lay on the couch together. i cannot sleep with him on top of me (he is a very big baby) so after a little while of him being passed out i try to put him back down. if he wakes, i freak out. if he doesn't, i go back to my room and wait for him to wake, part of my new anxiety problem. when he wakes from 4-5 he usually wants to play. of course i don't, but we sit quietly in the rocker.
i know this is going to take time i just wish i had an answer to this problem. its so hard not knowing what is waking him.
thanks again for your support, this is really a life saver.
amy

[rob1lu2]

Amy,

I am happy to help you! I know in the middle of the night when they are screaming their heads off, you want to join them. But remember to keep your cool and your eyes on the prize. We'll get there!

Are you actually shushing when you do shhh/pat? I know Tracey says that after 6 months the shusshing actually distracts them, so I might cut that out if you are doing it.

Has he learned a new skill he's trying to practice? Like standing up? It sounds like it. He may be on the verge of a developmental leap and wanting to practice at night.  Is that possible?

I really think he's waking from accumulated OT. It will take several to many days for him to catch up and to catch on to the new schedule. It won't be easy, as you have seen, but eventually he will get it.

Lu

[chesterella]

hi again
i do actually do the shushing. maybe it does distract him. and he does seem to go in a crawl position when he wakes up during the night, so maybe he is trying to practice this new found activity. he has been standing since 4 months but not crawling. today he took nice long naps like yesterday. and his sched is the same as yesterday as well. i'll keep at it, i know i can thanks to u guys!
thankfully yours
amy

[rob1lu2]

Hi Amy!

OK, now we might be getting somewhere!

So, I look forward to hearing how tonight went/goes. I don't know where you are. It might be morning already!

So, try not to do the shushing anymore and see if that helps. I don't pat my NWer anymore, just lay my hand on her chest.

Also, if he's on the brink of crawling you may just have to wait it out. Give him plenty of chances to practice during the day. I know it's frustrating. I don't guarantee that is the solution to our issue, but it sheds light on the issue.

I am so happy to hear he took nice long naps today! Progress!  Are you napping with him? I hope so. It will make the night more bearable.

Let me know how it goes!

Lu

[chesterella]

hi lu!
he slept through the night last night! from 8:30 - 7:30! amazing. the problem is that now that he has been waking though the night for the past week, i have a bad anxiety problem. last night i woke up at 11:30 and suffered through an anxiety attack that lasted til 4am. i woke up at 6:30 to continue the anxiety well into the day and did not get back to sleep until 1:30! i had to take a sleeping pill to get back to sleep at that time. i was so happy that porter slept through the night though. it was a major breakthrough and it would not have happened without ur help!
i will keep you updated about tonight. he is having his nap right now and still on his wonderful sched!
thankfully
amy

[rob1lu2]

Amy,

How wonderful about Porter! I am so sorry you are having panic attacks. I get them too and they suck!

With my NWer, I would get knots in my stomach before I would go to sleep at night, just thinking that she was going to wake up and I was going to have to deal with it. How often would she wake and for how long and how much crying was I going to have to hear. I know what you are going through!

Remember we are taking baby steps here, so although it's great that he's slept through, he might regress. Don't lose heart though. You can see that he can do it and those little tweaks in his schedule have helped!

I can't wait to hear how he does! 

Keep me updated,
Lu

[chesterella]

hi again
he did great last night as well. we tried not giving him his dreamfeed because we ended up going out with some friends. so his last bottle was at 7:30 but he woke for another at 1, so i'm pretty sure we're gunna keep it in the sched. he seems to really need it and we don't mind giving it to him. he did fuss around 5 but was comforted easily and went back to sleep til 8:30.
my anxiety subsided, but it is so comforting to hear that someone else has gone through the same. i may try to get some help with it this week and visit doc.
he took a nice nap this morning as well. so he seems to be doing so much better and i am just plain giddy and giggly about it!
thanks so much!
amy

[Bryony]

Amy, I am so pleased 

I also know what you mean - when we are having a bout of NWs (like this week  ) I get sooo stressed. I think it's mainly sleep deprivation.  But that's great that things are going better. As Lu says, you may get regressions but as long as you have an overall master plan you should get better nights at least most of the time.

Hoping you carry on feeling better - but agree probably good to talk it over with the doctor

Hugs!

Bryony

[rob1lu2]

Yay Amy!!!!

Yay Porter!!!

      
So glad to hear it is moving in the right direction! Please keep us updated and let us know if you have any more questions!

Lu

[chesterella]

hi guys
so porters day sched is awsome but he's not sleeping through the night! now he gets up like 4-5 times! i don't know what it is. his sched now is
7-7:30 wake up
7:30-8 bottle
8-8:30 solids
8:30-10:30nap
10:30-11 bottle
11-12:30 activity
12:30-1 solids
1-2:30 nap
2:30-3 bottle
3-4:30 activity
4:30-5:30 catnap
6-6:30 solids
7-8 bath book bottle
8-8:30 wind down/sleep

he's waking at different times which is making me think maybe he is uncomfortable from teething. this morning he woke up an hour earlier than usual with NW's around 11, 1, 3:30, 4:30, 5:30. maybe he is needing his paci and can't find it, this is usually when his cries get more serious and i have to go in there, give him his paci and put my hand on his back. should i wean him from it?
help!

[Bryony]

Does he go straight  back to sleep when you give him the paci?

Bryony

[rob1lu2]

Hi Amy,

I agree his daytime schedule looks great. 

Do you feel that he's caught up on his sleep? If he has, I might encourage you to make his A times longer. For example, I see that he wakes t 7 and you put him down to sleep for his first nap at 8:30. At his age he should be able to stay awake for two - three hours at a time. So I might encourage you to try toextend his A times if you think he's caught up on his daytime sleep.

Also, as you do that I think he'll be able to skip that catnap before bed. They say that the first AM nap of the day, if it's too early, can contribute to NWings.

So his schedule would eventually look something like this

7 Wake and E
8 Solids
A
10 S
12 Wake and E
1 Solids
A
3 S
5 Wake and E
6 Solids
Bath Bottle Book Bed
7:30

I wouldn't make his days too much longer than 12 hours. You probably want to shoot for a twelve hour night's worth of sleep. Again, you don't want to do this all in a one shot deal, but gradually stretch him out.

JMO.

What do you think?

I know, I know, just when you think you have it down...

Lu

[chesterella]

hi again
thanks for keeping up with me, he's my first and i'm a young mom, so everything is brand new!
to answer bryony, yes he does fall right back to sleep when i give him the paci, but he is able to put it in himself too...
lu
i do feel he's caught up on his sleep. i have managed to wean him off of me rocking him to sleep too, so i feel like super mom over here  . i had posted in the pu/pd section a question about why he fusses so much before i put him down for nap, not crying, just squirmy, grunting and such. she also said to stretch out his A times. i just didn't want to get him to the point of overtiredness, and it seems like there is a very thin line there. the only reason why i put him down so early for his 1st nap is because he gets cranky and rubs his eyes. also, since he is not sleeping well through the night yet, he is more tired earlier.
i also think he may be teething, like i said before. his cheeks are bright red and he's been cranky. does teething make them wake a bunch of times during the night? i bought him some motrin and hylands teething tablets today. we'll see if this helps tonight.
i will start him on longer A times when he starts sleeping through the night, does that sound like a good idea?
also, as of right now he seems to really need that catnap in the evening. maybe he hasn't caught up on his sleep yet and i just think he has because of his new schedule. could the catnap be contributing to the nws?
thanks again guys!
amy

[chesterella]

so last night was pretty bad
he was up at 2:30 til 4:45. i gave him motrin before he went to bed and some of the teething tablets when he woke at 2:30. some more motrin at 4:30. i'm almost positive it's teething, but maybe it's something else. i'm sooo tired. why can't i get him to sleep through the night. i feel as if it will never happen.

[Bryony]

Oh Amy, hugs!  I know just what it feels like.

Great news that he can get himself to sleep without rocking too - so yes you defintely SHOULD feel like supermum! 

Teething isn't going to help at all - most people find that thier LOs' teething goes completely to pot when they are teething. And at least that's not a permanent state of affairs (although it feels like it at a time!)

I think the suggestions to try and stretch his A times are good - but do it very gradually so that he does not end up OT.

I don't know enough about dummy use (we never used one) to know whether this is a problem or not - you might want to post on the props board to see what their views are. My understanding is that if he can put it back himself you should be OK by now and that he is more wanting your presence rather than the dummy to get back to sleep - but I don't know 

Can you remind me how old he is now?  And I will see what else I can think of.

Bryony xx