Is this bad?

[MomofLuka]

My dd is 2 1/2 and lately, she gets really wound up and won't lie down for her nap. I know she needs it because she will sleep 2-3 hours once she is asleep. Also she acts tired, with the funny voice, and big circles under her eyes and wild behavior if she doesn't get her nap. She has a lot of trouble going to bed at night if she doesn't get her nap.
To get her to sleep, lately when she is really wild, I hold her down in her bed. I don't like it and she doesn't like it, but she cries for 10 minutes and then she goes out like a light.
I'm really against corporal punishment and spanking. I'd do pick up/put down, but she's too heavy for it. I get worn out, pull a muscle in my back, and have to give up. Besides, for some reason she thinks pu/pd is a game and laughs at me if I try to do it. She just bounces up and down.
So I find it easier to hold her down. If she stops trying to get up, I let her go. Today, I just warned her I would hold her down if she didn't lie down, and she did, and she went to sleep, so that worked. I am really trying to do this in a way that's just restraining her and not violent or scary or angry. I tried singing to her and saying "shhh" but she just got angrier so I stopped doing that and now I just say "lie down" in a low voice.
I'm worried this is going to have some kind of bad psychological effect on her--but I'm worried that not sleeping will have an even worse effect on her development. 
Do you think this is bad and will have bad psychological reprocussions?

[Colesmom]

Hi, 

I would say if you're not hurting her, but just being firm, then there isn't a problem. I know I've been frustrated with my DS and done the same thing.  There was one instance where I felt I was a bit too firm and felt horrible afterwards   Your dd is too big for pu/pd...so you could try Todder PD, or WI/WO which you can find an explanation on how to do here:

https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=63896.0

Whatever you choose, be consistent. 

Have there been any changes to her routine, illness, visitors that could be causing her to act up?

[Florencia]

Nap refusal might be related to awake times. How long is she awake before you try to put her down? she might be either over or under tired by then. Sometimes a 15-30 min tweak in the routine is the answer to the puzzle. Around her age she might be able to hold for a good 5.5 to 6 hours of activity time.

IF timing is not the issue then is a toddler thing. They tend to challenge us with it so i'd just keep consistant and firm about nap time. You can try wi/wo if she's crying for you by the time you leave her to go down. If she's not crying but just playing and chatting away, i'd suggest you to try a longer wind down (say bye bye to things in the house, people on the street etc, "convincing" her EVERYBODY needs a lay down and everyone's going to nap... )my ds looks at the window (there's a kindergarden nearby) and i tell him all the kids are going home for naps LOL... it seems to work once he knows is everyone's activity. Sing an extra song, read an extra book. Lately I have found ds loves looking at photo albums before going down so we take a look to his baby book and I show him how i used to swaddle him when he was a baby etc. Putting dollies and stuffed animals to bed also helps.

Sometimes the transition from1 nap to no nap starts with this episodes of acting up. She might still need a short nap or quiet time so it is important that she doesn't fight that wind down time. Make it mellow, with soft music and leave her at her crib. If the environment is set for sleep (dark room, long windown) and she still needs her sleep, she'll do it. If she's not tired enough for sleep, then at least she'll have quiet time or a short nap that will help you get her through the day.Some moms have found success leaving lo's with some books to entertain themselves and eventually they'll go to sleep, ds won't do it, gets wound up, so you'll have to try what works best for you too. But if physicall intervention doesn't suit you or sounds well with your instinct, i say it's better to try other things before she starts associating naps with punishment, cause that could aggravate the problem

HTH and keep us posted. Give Luka a kiss from her buddy Manolo!

[MomofLuka]

Hi Florencia, nice to hear from you again! How is Manolo?
I will try some of the suggestions to help her wind down better. She's very argumentative about the very idea of napping. If she sees that a character in a book or on TV lay down and went to sleep, she always says "He's going to get up."
Lately I've had more success with just telling her I might have to come in and hold her down if she gets out of bed. Hopefully this will taper off until I can just pop my head in occasionally and she'll stay in bed. She goes to sleep quickly once she lies down.
She still takes 2-3 hour naps and sleeps 12 hours at night, so I don't think she's overtired--just resistant. She's developed quite the attitude lately. We're trying to find ways to put a more positive spin on things and get better cooperation. At least no tantrums--yet!

Take care,
Leslie