Totally stressed about 8 mo old long night waking/habit

[jessmum46]

You don't necessarily need to wake him to give Advil - if you use a syringe you can give it as 'dream meds'?  Might work as a wake to sleep too? 

With the solids try not to worry too much - at this age his milk is still the most important in terms of his nutrition.  It's common for babies to go off their food as teeth are cutting or if they've picked up a bit of a bug.

I can't really advise you with the Advil, other than to say that you should give it according to the manufacturers instructions and check with your doctor if you are worried about giving it for an extended period of time. 

[Cindymenjivar]

Ben has taken a turn for the much worse. I thought he was getting better because there were actually a couple of nights when he woke just for a few minutes and then went straight back to sleep. But on Saturday his schedule was off again and he had a bad night and then on Sunday a worse night and then Monday his worse night ever.

On Sunday DH and I decided to bring Ben into bed with us after 3 hours of his fussing and crying off and on. It seems like I am breaking down doing this once a week or every other week when he has an extremely bad night. He is not happier in our bed and still fusses or carries on, but at least I do not have to keep getting up... I know this is not ideal, but I figure its the lesser evil, instead of loosing my mind or letting him CIO.

On Monday I was determined to stick it out and get Ben to sleep in his crib at night.

His day was. 7:50 wake, 11:50 nap, 12:20 wake, 3:30 nap, 5:15 wake, 8:40 bed.

He cried at  midnight so I gave Advil and he settled to sleep within 5 minuted (on his tummy). Fourty-five minutes later he was crying again. Not a fuss, but a full on scared-sounding cry. He settled to sleep quickly again after I went to him. One hour later he is letting out these huge cries again! This time he wouldn't settle. I did some PU/PD and then just a hand on his back. He won't stay on his side now, but has just started to constantly roll onto his stomach. So I am trying to comfort while he's on his tummy, but he cried harder than I've ever heard him cry for over an hour. Eventually he stopped, but his eyes stayed wide open. He cried again off and on (10 or 15 min breaks) for another hour and then started to totally fall apart again. At this point I decided to breast feed him. Oh God, I feel like the worst parent ever. He ate ravenously than finally fell asleep (5:00am).

Have I created this monster because of my occasional inconsistencies - bringing him into bed or BF at night? Does it sound like teething even though he had Advil? It is very rare for him to cry like this. His schedule seems to be sliding later as we sleep in to recover from night wakings. What can I do to get back on track without getting him more overtired? He is finally getting his appetite back - just yesterday he ate much better and I even breast feed him an extra time. I fear he is hungry at night because he has been eating so little... I don't know what to do anymore.

[jessmum46]

(((Hugs))), sometimes you just have to do what you need to do to survive.  Those night wakings must be so exhausting for you.

Was Monday a typical day nap-wise?  I think my DD would have been pretty OT from that day, even when she was nearer 12 months of age.  That could certainly have contributed to your night wakings.

If he hasn't been eating well then yes he might have been a bit hungry too, but hopefully that should improve if his appetite is coming back.

When he's on track, what time is your normal BT?  Something I've found helpful to beat OT is to keep BT at around the same time as usual, even if LO sleeps in late in the morning or does a long nap.  If they needed the lie-in as a catch up, but then you make BT later, you've kind of taken it away from them if you see what I mean?  It takes a bit of faith and a bit of ignoring A times, but can really help. 

[Cindymenjivar]

Sorry, I put that in wrong. He actually napped at 10:50, not 11:50 on Monday. It was a fairly typical day except I let him have 30 min extra for naps.

I am really soo releaved that my little guy finally got his appetite back. He lost half a pound or so (not really sure why except maybe teething...) I was able to feed him 3 very good size solid meals today and won't worry about hunger tonight.

I was at my Dr today (she is a general practitioner - not pediatrician) and she suggests phasing out one nap to help solve night wakings. She thinks UT at night. It is hard to know UT vs. OT with my LO! I will try capping the first nap at 45 min and keep second nap 1.5 hr or so instead of 1 hr and 2 hr. NW are still all over the place at midnight, at 2 am or 3:30 am, and seem to be getting drasticallly longer 3hours and 4 hours last night. Crazy! Also, Ben seems more hyper, more active more vocal and everything!

I hope its not a big, fat mistake to cap the naps, but adding length to naps definitely hasn't help. Please let me know what you think. Thanks!

[jessmum46]

I would only cap one of your naps - capping both will almost certainly lead to OT.  It's worth a try to see if there is some UT at play - its early to have to cap but not unheard of.  He is certainly too young for only one nap though.  If you cap the am nap at 45 mins bear in mind you will need to offer the pm nap earlier, and I wouldn't wake him from his long nap unless it hits 2h.  Good luck!

[Cindymenjivar]

Ok, I need just a bit more advice...
As I mentioned before, we have definitely taken a turn for the worse with night wakings becoming longer and now also more frequent. I was going to take my Dr advice and try decreasing naps, but after 2 days of accidental short naps due to a day of important appointments (including the Dr appointment) and a day where I simply couldn't get him to sleep much - I can see that I have seriously tired baby on my hands. I no longer am wondering about UT vs OT. It has been so difficult to recognise OT with a happy daytime baby and a lively playful baby at night. But the telltale signs of chronic OT are now there - frequent, increasingly early NW, and very sadly also great difficulty putting down for naps and waking after only 30 minutes of nap time. He is less independant at falling asleep and crying a great deal before settling. Naps and nightime are both in a terrible state!

How do I gain back naps and combat OT?

So far I have tried extending naps to achieve as long as possible up to 2 hours each. I managed to get 2 naps of 1.5 hours each yesterday. Once I let him BF back to sleep when he woke 25 min into his nap. His A times were 3 hours long or just over 3 hours. I am spending 30 to 45 min of gradual wind down before naps and BT. And although he woke at 9:00am (his last NW was from 4:00 - 5:20am) i have kept his bedtime at 8:15 - 8:30pm - consistant as you suggested. As soon as I can see a window of opportunity I would like to move BT a bit earlier.

More suggestions?

[jessmum46]

No you are absolutely doing all the right things to get out of OT - APOP to get longer naps if needed, shorten A times slightly and keep BT nice and early/overall day short.  (((Hugs))) it will come right, hang in there x