Help, I want to quit

[conorandjulianasmo]

Dd will be 3 weeks tomorrow.  Last night from about 630 until 10pm she nursed pretty much non stop.  I couldn't get her to sleep for anything, all she wanted to do was nurse.  She slep until 1 then was up again nursing nonstop until like 4 or something, I didn't really notice, I was delirious at that point.   She wouldn't go to sleep, she sleeps in her crib pretty well during the day.  I know you're going to tell me it's a growth spurt...when does the nonstop nursing stop then?  She was doing well at night most nights, 3-4 hour stretches between feedings starting at about 8-9 pm until 730-800 am.  This is why I hated breastfeeding ds when he was born and quit after 2 weeks, I felt helpless and just wanted to sleep.  I want to bf her for at least 8 weeks exclusively.  Please give me some advice before I whip out the enfamil.

[Duckie]

I've got no advice for you because I wrote a very similar post about 2 months ago.  Let me just say I know how you are feeling right now, and I want to give you a hug.

[RachelC]

Hang in there    I know it is so frustrating in the beginning, but it does get easier.  Yes, she is probably growth spurting, as well as beginning to wake up some more.  What are her days like?  How often are you feeding?  We are here to help you, just take it one day at a time and take a deep breath.  How old is ds?  Can you nap at all during the day?  Anyone around to help you out during the day so maybe you can get some much needed rest?

Sending lots of {{{{{hugs}}}} your way.

[NikiJ]

Hi!!  Poor you.  I know it's frustrating now but maybe if you give us a little more info we might be able to help before you completely give up.  My lo fed non stop from 7 to 11 in the evening which I viewed as a good thing coz it kept her going till 6am.  I know thats not happening for you yet but it might be an idea to keep that up to encouage sleeping through the night.

Can you give us a rough idea of how many feeds through out the day & how long?  How often does lo nap & for how long?  How do yoou think your milk supply is in the evening?  Are you noticing a let down? Alot of the time your milk supply can be reduced during the evening due to tiredness (esp as i see u have another older lo).  Would it be possible for you to pump in the morning & give it to lo in the evening as a top up in the bottle?

Let us know what u think to the above & in the meantime {{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Niki

[conorandjulianasmo]

More info.  I do have a 2 yo, so I can't really nap during the day except I try to have them both napping at the same time at least once a day.  I try to lay down on the couch when she is napping and he is playing.

She was eating 10-20 min every 1-3 hours during the day, most of the time 2-3 hours.  She naps about 1 hour to 1.5 hours each feed cycle, unless she wants to eat again after an hour (this is mostly late afternoon and evening, but sometimes in the morning).  She's really all over the place, I don't feel right trying to hold her off until 2 hours if she shows hunger sings at 1 hour.  10-12 feeds most days.

I just starting pumping this week and was going to intro a bottle this week, to, per my lc, 3-4 weeks is the best time.  Do you think that would help if I try to top her off before bed?  How many ounces should I try to get her to eat and should I do it after she nurses?  (she was 8 pounds at her two week appt. last tues...she was 7 5 at birth).BTW, I've pumped twice and gotten 1.5 ounces one time and 2 the other in 10 min.  Does this sound ok? 

I can hear her swallowing when she is marathon nursing, I don't know where she is putting all that milk.  I wouldn't mind the marathon nursing if it held her for a while at night, but it didn't last night.  The night before she didn't go as long between feedings, only 2 - maybe 3 when she had been going 3-4. 

Thanks for any help you can give, I want to hang in there.

[jbepko]

First it DOES get better! There will be light at the end of the tunnel. Are you trying dreamfeed at all, it might buy you at little more shut eye time at night. Can someone help watch your older child so you can get a nice nap- even a Mommy's helper? Can you have spouse/father/another adult help at night- so all you do is just nurse for a feeding? SOunds like she is cluster feeding in afternoons- which is pretty typical. Make sure you are well hydrated and taking in enough protein. I also like http://www.kellymom.com for BF issues. The amount you are pumping seems fine. And she is gaining weight like a champ. I remember somewhere between week 4-6 things got SO much better.

[lisi's mum]

It's so hard at the beginning, but hang on in it will get better. My LO went through a phase of wanting to nurse all evening. It seems to be quite common and their way of preparing for a longer stretch at night.I remember that delirious feeling, it also gets better. Your hormones and milk production are still sorting themselves out, once they're sorted (around 6 weeks) you'll be amazed at the strength a breast feeding woman has. The hormones make the night nursing so much easier than having to get up and make a bottle. Both you and LO get a good slug of oxytocin to send you back to sleep.

In the mean time {{{{hugs}}}}
Katie

[conorandjulianasmo]

I wish it were for a longer night stretch, but she was up from 115 until 4 or something again.  I hope this doesn't go on every night, I liked what she was doing before this.

[RachelC]

At this point you do want to follow her cues for eating.  She is building your milk supply and there is no need to stretch her to a 2 hour feed cycle.  Tracy always encourged listening to your baby, not watching the clock.  If she's hungry after an hour, feed her.  The important thing to watch for is not every cry is a hungry cry.

There is a natural dip in supply in the evening, so that may be why there is more frequent feedings then.  I would try (at this point) to feed every 2 hours during the day and make sure you have some A time (simple as a diaper change).  Then hopefully at night she may last longer.

Have you tried the dream feed?  Perhaps try giving her a bottle of EBM about 1.5 hrs after her last feed for the night (can someone do this for you, while you pump to keep the supply?).  Try the 2 ounces.  Again, nursing is the best thing for your supply.

Please don't give up.  Right now is the hardest time, but it does get easier, I promise!

Come cry on our shoulders!  Let us know what we can do for you.

[clh]

Hi!  I wanted to send {{{hugs}}} your way.  It's so hard in the beginning.  As long as you can is helpful to your dd.  I remember snoozing in a recliner with my ds when he'd have marathon nighttime nursing sessions so I get rest, too.  (Remember nothing!  I did that this morning when he woke up too early!    )  I also remember that things started getting better at 2-3 weeks, & then there was a dramatic increase in things getting better at about 6 weeks. 

Let us know how we can help!

[NikiJ]

In my haste to get dd from her cot after nap earlier, I forgot to mention the dream feed. That is what I was mentioning expressing for.  Express bout an hour after every feed from first thing in the morning.  You get a good amount when you express so you might only need to do it twice or 3 times before you have enough for the night feed.  I would put 4 ounces in the bottle the first time, just to see how much she takes.  From experience & from reading boards 2oz seems to be the norm but if your supply dips in the evening (you have a newborn & a toddler - of course you're tired) she might need more.

If she's feeding until 10pm maybe dh/dp could give it to lil Juliana bout 1.5/2hrs later so you could stay asleep & hopefully she'll stay asleep longer.

Let us know how you get on.

Niki

[conorandjulianasmo]

Thanks for all the suggestions.  We'll see if tonight goes any better.  She's been eating about every 2 hours all day.  When she ate at 3, she went for almost an hour and still wanted to suck more, but I took her off and got her down for a nap.  What I need to know is how long should I let her feed?  Surely after an hour she isn't still getting anything, is she?  And if she is, where is it going...her stomach is so small?  What should I do if she wants to just feed constantly for hours again?  After she went to sleep a little after 10 last night, she didn't get up until after 1 but then did the same thing, constant feeding.  My supply wouldn't have been low then, would it?

[RachelC]

All babies nurse for different lengths of time.  Tracy suggested a time frame (with the emphasis on not watching the clock and that all babies are different) of up to 40 minutes for 4-8 week olds (mine never got past 15).  You should hear swallowing when she is eating.

Do you have any of the Baby Whispering books?  If yes (and it's the first book) pg 115 might help.  If not, let me know and I will quote it for you.

[lisi's mum]

I hesitate to say this as I have very mixed feelings about pacis, but if she isn't swallowing but just suckling have you tried offering her one (or your finger). Sucking is about the only way a LO this young has as a means to comfort themselves. It does open up a whole other can of worms, but maybe makes your life bearable and stops you giving up.

Just a thought...
Katie

[owelley]

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You are awesome for not giving up!!!  GOOD MOMMY!!!!  BRAVE AND STRONG MOMMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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