Multi-tasking baby...Is this possible?

[charlibabes]

My 12 week old DD has never napped in the day, if we go out she might fall asleep in the car but trying to put her down for a nap has been hideous, shh/pat makes her wild and wind downs make her cry     It got to the point where she was less stressed being awake.

However she has always taken about 5-10 minutes to rouse after a feed, if the feed was 30 mins or longer I am starting to think she actually goes to sleep about 1/2 way in and dreamsfeeds in the day, so having little 20-30 min naps when she feeds.. is that possible?  It would accout for how she can seemingly go for 6 hours without a sleep and not be fractious.

[Glynis]

I'd say it's possible.  I catch Samuel dozing off at times in the daytime if he hasn't had enough naptime.  You should be able to tell if that's happening & if so, arouse her by rubbing her hands, feets, head.... whatever works for her.  If she dozes off, take her off of your breast. 
She definitely needs real naps in the daytime.  I would suggest using pu/pd... just because it worked for us!   

[Caroline-Charlies Mummy]

Hello, I agree with Glynis, lo really does need proper naps in the day. If she is sleeping during the feeding, then she is probably not feeding efficiently. It sounds as if she is overtired to me, especially if she starts to cry during the winddown.

Could you tell us please what you have tried? You say you have tried sssh/pat, was that for naps? How much awake time had she had before you started to try? What is your winddown routine?

Sorry about all the questions . If you could give us a bit more information, such as her routine/schedule, perhaps we could help her to nap in the daytime.

[charlibabes]

I don't have much of a consistent routine in the day at the moment as LO has had back to back colds for the last month and it all went a bit haywire. At night I clusterfeed, she goes down about 9ish, df at 11ish then through until anywhere between 5.30 and 8... if it's 5.30 she usually goes back after a feed.( not this morning though!)

She can wake smily and gurgling from a good nights sleep and yawn within 10 minutes when she is obviously not tired.  I have tried to put her down once she has been up for an hour or so and I see a yawn, I take her to her room , close the curtains sit in chair for a cuddle and put on musical toy.  She shows no signs of getting sleepy... looks about the room, very alert ( even in a dark room!)  After about 20 mins she starts to get frustrated and cry, won't go down.. eventually I give up and take her downstairs and put her in her chair where she immediately is happier, smiles and chats.

This morning for example, she woke grouchy after only 7 hours sleep at 5.30.  I fed her and put her back down, then spent the next 2 and a half hours trying to get her to sleep.  She managed 30 mins before waking... by then she wanted feeding again.  I fed her and tried to put her straight back down as she was obviously tired.... she is still awake now and it's 10am, buyt is smiley and talking to the wall.  She did have jabs yesterday though.

She just doesn't seem to want/need sleep as much as the textbooks say.  On a good day I can get a short nap out of her every 3 hours.  It's more stressful trying to get her to nap than not.

[charlibabes]

OK since my last post i decided to try and put her down for a nap again.  This time i used a pacifier.. she is 13 weeks and never used one before, so wasn't sure what to do at first, then after a couple of minutes she started sucking.. I left her to it and found that withint 5 mins she was asleep with pacifier spat out.

Is it ok to use a pacifier if I only use it in the cot and for sleep and always remove it once asleep?  Will it give her bad habits?

[Glynis]

My advice would be against the soother.  You're creating a crutch (prop) that she will need in order to get back to sleep.  This isn't self soothing.  It may seem good now, but down the road notsomuch.  That said, many people use them.  It's up to you if you want to be trotting back & forth to the crib to put it back in. 
I'm wondering if an earlier bedtime might help?  It did with Samuel.  He'd been going to bed at 10 & it sounds odd but I moved his bedtime back to 8 & it's helped his daytime sleep.  (He doesn't get up any earlier)

[charlibabes]

  This isn't self soothing.  It may seem good now, but down the road notsomuch. 

Darn, just when you think a mircale solution has presented itself!

I will try the earlier bedtime thing, 9 is already earlier, she was going down at 10-10.30 because I couldn't get the DF thing going, but since I have been getting her down at 9 and got the 11pm DF sussed it;s great... I actually get 2 baby free hours with DH!!

I was scared to go earlier incase she didn't sleep through and started waking at 4 or something.  Perhaps I'll bring it back bit by bit

[Glynis]

I was worried about the same thing but it didn't alter it at all.

[Meg's Mom]

Is it ok to use a pacifier if I only use it in the cot and for sleep and always remove it once asleep? Will it give her bad habits?

I have to agree w/ the above post, if you remove it once she falls asleep and you aren't running in everytime and all night to replace it then you should be fine.

I was very hesitate to use one w/ my LO but her ped. doc recommended it.  We only used it in the crib.  She never had a problem and one day just stopped using it - so i tossed them.

But you will need to decide.  IMO, getting her used to napping right now is more important.

[Mia & Scarlett's Mummy]

I think I've come to this post a bit late but I just wanted to say my dd wouldn't sleep at all without a dummy during the day and I wish I'd given her one earlier.

Wind down for naps are never stressful anymore - whereas before they involved lots of crying from us both and although Mia does tend to keep it in for a good half hour after she's fallen asleep she can still go on to sleep for a good 2.5 hours after it's come out.

They are a huge comfort to babies and I think if used selectively they do not become a prop at all.  I followed the guidelines in Tracys 2nd book about dummy use (she was "all for" dummies btw) and Mia uses it to self soothe and nothing else.  There's nothing worse than seeing a child of 5 or 6 walking round town with one in their mouth but it's a world away from calming down a baby who is desperate for a nap. 

It sounds like you've found a good way of soothing your baby - I'd stick with it.

Dummies rock my world!