things are getting worse not better

[cassidyJamiesmom]

I am really so frustrated here with so many things I feel like I am losing my sanity.

DD is 11 wks old.  She is on a 3 hr easy, tho sometimes i wonder if she should go to 4 hrs.  She only takes 3-4 oz at a feed and never really seems that hungry.  She is a small baby tho, only about 10 pds now.

Daytime sleep:  She was doing well for a while.  we had a good little routine, after 1 hr of A, we went upstairs, I swaddled her, sat in the rocking chair for a few mins with her paci, and lay her down semi awake - no prob.  Now, she fights me in my arms, and tho she settles with pat/shhh, she is up either after 20 mins, or 40 mins and she is still obviously tired...  I try to keep her down with pat/shh for the duration of the EASY cycle, but with a toddler in the house with me it is hard.

Nightime:  She was at one point, going from 8 or 9 till sometimes 2 or 3, then eating and back down till almost 5 ish...   Now we are all over the place.  I have moved her bedtime earlier simply becuz she is just soo tired by 7, especially if she's only had 20-30 min naps all day.  So she is out bw 7-8 (usually putting her down is fairly easy) but she only goes 3-4 hrs max, then she's up.  I do feed her but she'll only take maybe 3 oz max, then she is up again every 2-3 hrs.  If it is only 2 hrs I try to resettle her with pat/shhh, but most often it takes over an hour and I end up feeding her again!!   Shouldn't things be getting easier??  She is almost three months and i am exhausted.  I have read both of Tracy's books, and a bunch of others too.  I love the BW theory and technique and really believe in it but it just doesn't seem to be working!!  My first DD was an angel theough and through, she took so well to EASY and was and still is a great sleeper.  Jamie, hwr, i think is spirited/touchy and is just having such a hard time.  I actually borrowed my friend's Ferber bk yesterday cuz I am so at my wit's end. 

Please somebody!! Shed some light on this situation.  I really don't want to resort to CIO.  The thot of it gives me butterflies!! 

[lele]

Oh, I am just so sorry to hear you are feeling so exhausted and having such a hard time right now.   I know this has been going on all along with Jamie as you have mentioned on the Nov/Dec thread.  Unfortunately i don't have a ton of advice but i wish i did!!  But i will say you should follow your heart, if the thought if CIO makes you cringe then don't do it!  As tempting as it may be right now there is a good chance it will break your heart and you won't want to stick with it. (that is what i did to my ds before i knew about BW and it just led to way more problems!)  Then Jamie may end up even more confussed and harder to deal with than she is now.  My dd who is very close in age to yours has luckily been doing very well most of the time.  However she has been acting a lot like what you described for a few days now.  It is almost like she has come to recognize the whole sleep routine and as soon as i get ready to put her down she starts crying, hard, and she isn't a crier. I did just read a post in the props forum though and someone mentioned this is a common time for growth spurts which may make them cranky.  My dd also has been weird about eating too.  I think she is hungry, she acts hungry, starts to eat then cries and doesn't want any more.  I am bfing though so i have no idea how much she is getting.  So basically i am just thinking this must be a common age for transitioning, or maybe just coming to recognize more things around them so there is a lot for them to deal with.  Hopefully i will just try and really stick with some sort of routine because i think if we do we will be so much happier when they are older, even though it is so hard right now.  (and i know we both have an older child to deal with too! It is so challenging!)
So i guess this was just a long way for me to say (((((HUGS)))))
Hopefully someone will come along and give so better advice.  In the mean time just know we are here to support you if you need us!  Good luck to you and Jamie

[cassidyJamiesmom]

Thank you so much for your reply and encouragement.  I just feel so exhausted sometimes it is hard to think clearly.  It really is so much harder with an older one at home.  I thank god for my family support as I have lots of it. 

I do hope someone can point me in the right direction...

[Jaime]

It really is so much harder with an older one at home. 

ain't it the truth?!  at 11 weeks, i recall being very close to the brink! 

she could be coming up on the 3 month craziness - growth spurt & all, and that's why she's suddenly fighting.  you've been doing lots of things right.  just stick with it.  even when you want to jump out the window.  you will get through this. 

[merehart]

I have a spirited/touchy too, and like you she is my second, my first DD an angel with a bit of spirited to her.  I remember the three month point being very hectic.  I remember thinking I was not making any progress and that it was not working for us.  However, I kept with it, made it a bit looser to accomodate our sanity, and now at 5mos we really do have a solid routine. 

Now keep in mind I just posted about other issues, but in regards to naps and a schedule, it has worked out well.  Somedays she only naps for 45min or so, but it is usually followed or preceeded by a long 2+ hr nap.  And she is sleeping better through the night.  But we really struggled to get here.  I think the temperment is the big factor for us, and even though I feel crazy alot of the time and like I can't understand her, I know that without the schedule and routines we do have, I would be completely lost. 

Hang in there, you don't have much farther to go and you'll see progress.  I found that alot of days around that time I would just give up, pack the girls up and get out of the house for a while- earned her some nap time on the go, but mostly a nice break for DD#1 and me too. 

Hope you see a turnaround shortly

Meredith