pacifier use or misuse?

[Caseysmomanddad]

Hi,
We have a nine week old little girl who is having trouble taking full naps, it's nice to know we're not alone out there. We are trying the wake to sleep method. We were wondering about the use of a pacifier. Casey usually takes a pacifier to sooth herself. When she wakes in the middle of her nap we are usually already in her room holding down her arms and legs but she is waking up anyway.  We don't give the pacifier unless she starts fussing and this always calms her down. But as soon as she splits out her soother after about 5 minutes she wakes back up and starts fussing and eventually crying. Any ideas or thoughts on this issue would be welcome.

Also, just to clarify on the sleep to wake method. Sometimes we spend the second half of her nap (45 mins) staring at our awake little girl, putting her pacifier back in every time she spits it out. Is this normal? We have just started to practice this and are remaining very patient.

Other than this issue Casey is sleeping very well at night (9p.m. to 9a.m. with a 5a.m. feed).

[*Natasha*]

At what stage of her sleep do you go in to do wake to sleep. It sounds like you are going in to late and she is already coming out of the sleep cycle then waking up. I found the ideal time for us was 25 mins i tried 30mins but it was to late so she woke up (luckly i was able to get her back to sleep within 5 mins with Shh/Patt).

[Caseysmomanddad]

We are trying to get in there before she wakes. Sometimes she wakes as we are entering her room. We will try to go in sooner. thanks

[Caseysmomanddad]

Help!
So things seem to have gone from bad to worse. Yesterday we tried Wake to Sleep for all of her naps. She goes down for her nap fine, usually needing the pacifier. One of us goes in after 30 minutes then at the first sniff of movement we put our hands on her arms and legs. She wakes up after a few minutes and has her eyes wide open, usually smiling. Then when she realizes she's not going anywhere she starts to cry and we put the pacifier in. Then the next full hour is spent with her fussing, crying, putting the paci in, holding arms and legs, struggling, crying, paci back in, etc...over and over until it's time for her next feed. She could barely keep awake during her last feed.

Then, out of nowhere, last night after we put her down for the night, she woke up after 45 minutes and was unable to settle. She hasn't done this since her first week of life. I couldn't get her to go back to sleep with the paci, or pu/pd or cuddling or reading. Finally I breast fed her and she promptly fell asleep. Because she normally sleeps so well at night, does she still need 3 - 1 1/2 hour naps in the day?
 
So this morning I took your advice and at her 10:30 nap I went in early (30 min), put my hands on her arms and legs and she soon started to stir. She woke up fully, saw me and started smiling which quickly turned to crying and struggling. The whole hour was crying alternating with me putting the paci back in (like 30 times) and struggling with the swaddling blanket. Now she's even more cranky than when I used to leave her along. Are we doing something wrong?

[Caseysmomanddad]

That was quick, thanks! She's just napping now. (It's 1:30 pm here in Canada) I set the alarm for 25 minutes and I just heard her call out at the 20 minute mark. I haven't gone in yet because I think I've missed the boat. I'll try the other wake to sleep method with her next nap. I'll have to go in before 20 minutes. What do I do if she wakes up fully after just a slight touch? Do I try to hide? If she sees me she's usually ready to party.

To answer your other question, sometimes after 45 minutes she's happy but tires easily, but most other times she's a big crank. Occasionally the 45 minutes seems just fine, she's alert, smiling and goes the full 90 minutes of activity until the yawning starts.

[Caroline-Charlies Mummy]

Hi there,

Stacy's giving you some great advice (I love the bit about diving to the floor - the things we do for our los . Anyway, I was just wondering if you have your dd swaddled? At her age, I would really recommend it, as it stops her arms and legs flailing about and waking her up.

I agree about the dark room, too - Charlie's room still has tin foil over the windows - looks awful, but it works.

[Caseysmomanddad]

Yup, we swaddle her. We've tried tight, not so tight, loose, now we've reached a happy medium which keeps her arms in most of the time. Occasionally I'll go in to get her and she's unwrapped herself completely, taken off her mittens and is cooing away. Makes me think we have a little houdini, or a ghost...

She is usually up for on average, 1 1/2 hours, plays happily until the 1 1/4 mark then she gets crabby and starts rubbing her face. My wind down is slow dancing with shh/pat or sing/pat for a few minutes, then if needed reading quietly with a paci in if she's still bug-eyed. I always get her down to the crib after a couple of yawns and sleepy lids but with her still awake - she settles not too bad on her own. If I try to keep her up longer it doesn't make a difference to the length of her naps.

Darker room hey? Maybe I'll have to try that. I always thought if they can nap when it's not too dark it's easier to get them to nap anywhere. She was always able to sleep in relatively light conditions before she hit the short-nap stage.

[Caseysmomanddad]

Ok, so it's been a month and now I'm not sure what to do next. We darkened the room which helps, thanks for the tip. I also started swaddling her a little tighter which also helps. But now....

A quick recap: We did wake to sleep for a week straight. She kept waking up sooner and sooner until she was having 15 mintue naps. So we scrapped wake to sleep and just started going in when she made the first cry-out. We would put the paci back in-out-in-out-in and put a hand on her arms until she fell back to sleep. In the first few weeks this took up to 45 minutes.

Slowly over the past month the time it takes for her to go back to sleep has lessened. Now, I go in at first cry, put my hands on her chest, put the paci in if she roots for it and she goes back to sleep after 5-10 minutes. She usually calls out a few more times for the soother which I just pop back in and then I quickly I leave the room. With me doing this she almost always sleeps for another 45-60 minutes. I tried wake to sleep again these past two days and a few times it worked - which is a major improvement. She still sleeps great at night - 11-12 hours straight. She usually cries out once or twice during the night but I never have to go in unless she has unwrapped herself - at which point I re-wrap her and she's back to sleep in minutes.

The question is, what do I do now? She seems dependent on me to get her back to sleep with every day time nap. If I let her cry after 45 minutes she works herself into a fully awake state and the rest of the nap is out the window. Will she just one day stay asleep or do I do this indefinitely? Will she ever learn to put herself back to sleep at nap time with me doing this? I don't understand why at night she does just fine.

[Caseysmomanddad]

Casey doesn't always need the paci to fall asleep or get back to sleep. If she wants it she usually sucks it for a few minutes then spits it out. I don't put it back in unless she roots and cries. At least half of the time all I need is pressure on her arms, but other times just putting the paci in does the trick and she's back asleep in seconds. She won't take it during non-sleep times. If I pat or shh her she wakes up more. I need to be completely silent and no eye contact. Sigh. Such a picky girl. I dread what she'll be like when she's older. How did you ween your little boy off the paci?