FRUSTRATION WITH 45 MIN NAPS

[mom2liam]

I've just about had it

I can't get him to nap more than 45mins. I've posted on this board numerous times and everyone has been so helpful, but 8 out of 10 times nothing works....and it makes me feel like I'm doing a bad job and a failure because I can't get him to sleep for 2 hours....

I tried wake to sleep, that didn't work, I then tried going in at 35mins and placing my hand on his chest to help him through the sleep cycle, but he opens his eyes and once he sees me he thinks it's party time!!!! PU/PD doesn't work as he isn't crying, he just opens his eyes and is automatically wide awake. When I can't get him back to sleep I bring him downstairs and then he's miserable about 15mins later, but won't go back to sleep as he is now overtired   And so the cycle begins....for the past 3 days he's been so ovetired I don't know what to do......aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I am doing 4 hour EASY and introduced cereal for the past 2 days......he has also been waking 2 x per night which he hasn't done since he was very little.........Here is the routine for the past 2 days..........

7am wake and feed 7oz                 7.30am wake and feed 6.5oz
8.25-9.20am nap                           8.50am-9.50am nap
11am - cereal and 5.5oz                 11.30am - 3.5oz and cereal
12pm-12.35pm - nap                     1pm-1.40pm - nap
3pm - feed 8oz                             3pm - feed 7oz
3.15pm-4.15pm nap                      3.30pm-4.30pm - nap
6.30pm - 4.5oz                             6.30pm - cereal
7.15pm - 2.5oz                             7.15pm - 7oz
7.30pm - bed                               7.30pm - bed

[JaimeLee]

I just wanted to give you a virtual "hug". I know how hard this is, I'm working through the 45 minute naps myself.
I don't have much advice, except that I have found a cd of white noise helps tremendously...especially waves crashing on the shore....to relax her enough to go to sleep after she wakes the first time!  Hey, whatever works, right?

I hope someone can give you some help.

[mom2liam]

Thankyou for your hug....

It is so frustraing isn't it? Do you know where you bought your CD and what it's called. I'll try anything
How old is your LO?
Thanks for your help.

[JaimeLee]

I don't have a cd yet, but the product that we have was given to us as a shower gift and it's a really great product...

Here's the link:

http://www.vtechuk.com/products-and-accessories/baby-bear-sweet-dreams/

Good luck with your little one...

My baby is almost nine months, by the way, it is getting a little better each day.

[Harrisonsmummy]

I am jumping in here, my lo is 19 months now, but he rarely slept for longer than 45 mins until he was about 12 months as I recall. At the time I didn't think anything much of it, that's what he did.

To be honest, he gradually lengthened his naps himself, one day he slept for an hour and so on.....

Don't beat yourself up, you are giving himthe opportunity to sleep and he will gradually sleep longer as he develops more. It may be worth pushing the first nap just a little later and see how you get on, and then perhaps the last nap will be a little later and so he will be less tired by bedtime. When they are more tired at bedtime they wake more at night so put him down as early as you can get away with.

Justine

[kcamelia]

I don't know if this will work with your lo, but mine was doing the 45 min nap business all day--same short wake time, crankiness, overtiredness, etc.  I found that waking to sleep did not work for him, and he doesn't take a paci.  If I was there when he woke to try to help him through, I had the same problem: as soon as he saw me, it was time to socialize.  

The only luck I have had is to truly wait until a full-blown cry (sometimes takes 5 mins, sometimes 15) after the 45 min nap.  Then, when I go in to readjust, rewrap, or pat/shh, he is already tired.  It just seemed like right when he awoke he wanted to get up if I was there, but if I waited until he cried, sometimes he would settle himself (!), but when he didn't, it at least made him realize he was still tired.  Patting him a little at that point put him right out.

Good luck; if nothing works, at least it gets better with age.  Try to have dh or someone else put him to bed at night to give you a little bit of a break!!  Trying to put a baby to sleep all day makes you crazy!

[kimmie]

I've been struggling with 45 minute naps for awhile now.  My LO is now 6.5 months old.  I've tried everything: wake to sleep, staying with him in his room to soothe him back to sleep when he first stirs, PU/PD (although he rarely cries when he wakes up), lenghtening A time, decreasing A time, and nothing seemed to work.  However, for the last two weeks, he has been taking a longer naps (1 1/4 to 1 and 3/4 hour nap).  I haven't done anything different except that I still watch his cues for tired signs and he is now able to stay up a little longer.  He is also more mobile and I think he needs to nap longer after all his rolling about.

I truely believe that for my lo, it was just a matter of time before his daytime sleep consolodated into longer naps (he used to have four 45 minute naps a day).  The trend these days is towards longer naps, but he still has a short one here and there.  I wish someone had told me to just let it be.  I was feeling like a failure because I couldn't get him to nap longer, when he was a happy little baby with his short naps.  He just needed an extra nap to make it through the day.  I would have been a much happier mommy if I didn't try so hard to force him into longer naps.

[koakitty]

Hi I am new to this site, but I thought I'd respond to your post, because I have been going through the same thing with my DD. It started at about 3 months (she is now 4 3/4 months). She learned to roll from her tummy to her back at 12 weeks and then from her back to her tummy at 16 weeks, since those milestones she's been taking shorter naps. I used to be able to shh/pat her back to sleep at the 45min mark, but not anymore! She just arches her back and her little head looking all around wide awake. I feel your frustration!  My DH has to reasure me almost on a daily basis that I'm doing a great job and am a good mommy, but it's hard to watch your child get crabby after being awake for only 45 mins because she hasn't napped well!
Ughhhh all I can say (since I'm rambling on now) is that after trying everything myself ( I am now trying to extend her awake time slowly every few days), I think some babies just have to ride it out and eventually they will begin to take longer naps (I hope). I've combed the sites looking for answers (since my Ped doesn't have any advice), and it seems that is one thing that comes up, that they work it out on their own and that all we can do as moms is just be as consistent & patient as possible. My DD has been a self soother and able to fall asleep on her own from about 3-4 weeks, so I know that is not the problem and she has been sleeping through the night from 6 weeks and now sleeps from 7PM-6AM or so.  I guess that's why this is so frustrating, she is able to sleep great at night, but why the easy awakenings during the day?? Here's my last tid bit, and some people may say I'm crazy but this is what we've done to try to solve the nap problem:
*Installed black out shades
*White Noise machine (from Brookstone, works great for puppies too)
*Installed an air conditoning unit (we live in Hawaii and it gets really hot in her room)
*Turned off Phone ringers during nap time
*Stayed home for days on end to try and work out the problem
*Hovered over her crib at 35 mins to try and "catch" the stirring w/ a shh/pat & stayed there for up to 45 mins w/ shh/pat off and on...it's exhausting, sometimes it works, but not often 
*Consistant nap time routine
So now I try the extended awake time, slowly of course, because I feel that at almost 5 months she should be able to stay up longer than 1.5 hours without having a melt down.  I don't think I have any advice here, but just some support for a fellow mom who is also at her wits end. Hang in there!!

[mom2liam]

Thanks for all your help.

I think I'm going to try the white noise and just let be, be......I can't force him to sleep and as long as he's happy  then I should be too, and stop putting pressure on myself .

Kimmie, thanks for your words, it was just what I needed to hear.

Regards, Wendy

[mom2liam]

The morning nap is early, but I feel like I know his signals. He whimpers and his eyes look red, and I don't want to leave him up any longer and risk him being overtired. Today he woke at 6.45am, I fed him at 7am, he only took 4oz and then he was ready for bed by 8am!!!! His A time does gets longer during the day, especially as he only takes 45 mins naps.....is this normal with the A time?

Regards
Wendy Harrington

[kcamelia]

I want to agree that trying to extend naps is very stressful for the mommy, and I'm not convinced that it does much good.  Hugo's naps have gradually gotten longer, and if I had been trying actively to extend them, I might have thought it was because of what I was doing, but I think all it takes is time for his brain to mature.

I read the post about how Tracy helped a family extend 45 min naps, and some of that seemed helpful: play quietly in the room with the lights dim for as long as your lo can stand it to extend A time without overstimulating him.  My lo becomes very vocal in his dark room just before a nap, so it is a sweet time to extend with him.  And if it helps his naps, hey!

I have skimmed Dr. Weissbluth's Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, and even though I don't agree with leaving your child to cry alone (I'm not sure it's wrong, but it is too hard for me), it did have some helpful information about biology and sleep patterns in infants and children.  Hugo seems to follow Weissbluth's general biological guidelines and sleeps best if I put him down for a nap between 9-10a, 12-2p, 3-5p (catnap), and to bed between 6-8p.  He can't start his day until 7:30 or 8a if he is to nap at 9a (he can't stay up 2 hours in the morning), but this schedule works well for us.  Of course, I stay home a ton so he can stay on schedule, and I don't run errands at all if he doesn't have at least one good nap.  My dh is very helpful to fun errands for us, for now.

[mom2liam]

Yes, today was my official start of not trying to extend naps, and it is kind of like a weight off my shoulders. I'm not sure if I'm doing the right thing, but I couldn't go on feeling the way I was about naps, I was dreading them. This has been his schedule so far today....let me know if you think I could improve on anything....

Bed 7.30pm
2.30am     -   woke and fed 4oz

6.45am               - DS woke
7am                   - fed 4oz
8am-9am            - Nap
10.30am            - Cereal 1TBSP + 7.5oz (a little early as he was fussing)
10.55 - 11.30am - Nap (Had most of his A time before feeding)
1pm-1.40pm       - Nap in sroller
2.45pm              - Fed 8oz
3.50pm              - Nap (this will be the last nap of the day).....
To be continued...............

Up to now he has napped 2 hours 15 mins and then this nap that he is taking now......

We'll see how it goes

Regards
Wendy           

[mom2liam]

OK so the grand plan of let be, be didn't necesarily work. I posted my routine up until LO's last nap and then it all went pear shaped.........below is a continuation

FRIDAY NIGHT Bed 7.30pm

SATURDAY (AM) 2.30am     -   woke and fed 4oz

6.45am               - DS woke
7am                   - fed 4oz
8am-9am            - Nap
10.30am            - Cereal 1TBSP + 7.5oz (a little early as he was fussing)
10.55 - 11.30am - Nap (Had most of his A time before feeding)
1pm-1.40pm       - Nap in sroller
2.45pm              - Fed 8oz
3.50pm-4.25PM   - Nap
6.30pm              - Bath
6.45pm              - Fed 5oz
7pm                   - Bed

When I got him up from his last nap, I took him grocery shopping, wich probably wasn't the best idea I've ever had!!!!

By the time I got back it was 6.15pm.....he was tired and I had to get to 7.30pm, but he was so miserable and his eyes were red..I couldn't hold off so I bathed him at 6.30 (instead of 7pm) fed him at 6.45 (instead of 7.15pm) and then put him to bed at 7pm, he was exhausted.......

Any suggestions?? as I'm trying not to extend the naps what do I do in this situation? try and get him to take another nap after 4.25pm?
Help much appreciatedWendy
XX

[mom2liam]

Hi Stacy

He woke at 3am, took 5oz and went back to sleep. He then woke at 6am, but again went back to sleep until 7.15am. He iwent down for his nap at 9am, so I'll see what time he wakes

I will try and squeeze another nap in today at the end, should he only take 45mins. However we are going into the city today, so he'll be in his stroller quite a bit.

Thanks
Wendy

[LŠuren]

Wendy
As you know I don't force Calum with longer naps either, he goes through so many phases of long and short naps. He just woke there after 30mins sleep crying, so I definately got back back to sleep. You just need to trust your instinct as to whether he needs extra at that particular time or if he will nap longer later in the day.
Lauren x