gosh-this sounds so much like what I'm going through.
i had my lo going through the night for three weeks prior to returning to work. Then I think a little SA and a lingering cold have created issues. I have to admit to APing, feeling guilty for not being there and generally just not being firm.
Cole cries before every sleep period. He has NEVER gone down in his crib without crying. I am beginning to find it exhausting...I am constantly stressed about his sleep. He seems not to need much sleep at all. Last night he wouldn't go down until 8pm (after being up from nap at 1:30) and woke nearly every hour and was up by 6:20...only because i had to cave and take him to the couch. (and he's happy on this much sleep)
I tried starting wi/wo twice in the last couple of weeks only to give up because he just can't kick this cold of his. I think this might have a lot to do with it. I'm there when he goes to sleep (often holding his hand or touching his back) so he can't settle himself when he wakes in the night. I would consider it a HUGE improvement if I could just be in the room and not touching him
It is making me resentful of him. That makes me sad. I only want what's best for him. I've worked on his sleep every day and every night since he was 5 months old. Should I just relax?
My daycare provider actually suggested trying to let him go down later, say 9pm. I know it goes against every BW bone in my body...but maybe right now he just needs that time with me.
*sigh* I'm sorry to ramble...needed to get that off my chest.