BabyWhispererForums.com
SLEEP => Sleeping For Toddlers => Topic started by: Aromy on December 31, 2014, 17:42:19 pm
-
I need advice fast.
My daughter had been sleep trained with PU/PD, but my husband and I had fallen into some AP, so we readjusted it for her age 3 weeks ago (12mo). We just soothed her in her crib without picking up. Admittedly, it wasn't really working. She'd still wake up 3+ times a night. But she's also going through the 2-1 transition and teething (3 teeth at the same time).
My in-laws are staying with us for a few days for the holidays. Last night was the first night my husband and I had a night out since my daughter was born. Because we have a small apartment, my in-laws slept in our master bedroom, while we shared the room with our LO. We came home at 11, and she didn't wake until 5:30am (which was unusual) and she wouldn't go back down. (My first night out, and I had to suffer through an early waking for the first time in a while. >:( )
When everyone was awake, my in-laws told me that after we put her down at 7:30pm, she woke at 8:30pm. Probably from OT because of an exciting day. They gave her a bit of water, but after 30 mins of crying, they shut the door. They said she cried for an hour!! So she slept from 10pm-5:30am. And they think that's enough sleep. Worst of all, my MIL thinks she's cracked it after one night. Whereas, it is so clear to me that she was overtired. Today, every time I left the room she'd fuss, which is not the norm. And whenever I returned, she'd crawl to me and climb up my leg.
I'm so frustrated on so many levels. Apart from there being a language barrier between my in-laws and I, I do speak the language a little, and they really just don't understand. I figured that I'd just bite my tongue while they were here, since they leave on the 2nd. But now I feel that I need to think up ways to fix this! It's not totally clear just yet, but I hope there is no severing of trust between my LO and I. :(
(This post really helped me to vent as well.)
-
Big ((hugs)), it must be so distressing for you.
From what you describe, the bond is stronger rather than weaker! She wants to be with you as you're her safe place.
I'd just carry on as normal with her but get your DH to make it abundantly clear that you will not have her left to cry.
-
Oh sweetie, this is my worst nightmare too. Please don't worry, it's only one night. Please, please don't feel guilty about having a night out either. Totally agree with mj&n, just carry on as usual. An extra couple of hugs here and there will help I'm sure. It is not a long drawn-out period of nights and nights with CIO. Your LO will still trust you xx
-
I wouldn't be letting than baby sit again. She was probably exhausted from crying, not self soothing. I agree, it was them not you so she hopefully won't associate it with your trust etc.
-
How infuriating! What a breech of trust in their part.
Going forward I'd just make sure you are responding to her when she needs it both in the day and at night and any anxiety she is experiencing should decrease.
Hugs.
-
Just wanted everyone to know that we're doing better now. I think my in-laws felt like they had no other options because she would just cry in their arms.
Strangely... I think she's started sleeping better. I think she was a bit psyched out, and is now relieved to have mom and dad back! Though of course, I would never suggest it to anyone!
-
I think for the future you could say to them that crying with them is much much better than crying alone, and also, if she is crying and won't be comforted, to phone you.