Night one, sleep training 2yr old

[mommybear!]

Background, my lo fell asleep for 1 nap on her own until 9 months, I had to leave in the middle of a night for a family emergency.  Other things came up too, sick, travel, etc. Regardless at almost two years old only sttn half the time and was nursed to sleep.  I should note rarely nursed her during the night. Never nursed her before naps.  So we changed her night routine about a month ago making nursing the second step instead of last. She was upset a few days and adjusted fairly quickly.  That brings me to tonight. I put her down and told her she had to try and fall asleep on her own. I tried to prep her throughout the week but she didn't really understand the impact until tonight.  We decided on GW. This is what happened...
720pm pjs on
Nurse
brush teeth
potty time
family story time
Goodnights
Laid her down at 813pm, gave her hugs and told her I loved her and time to lay down and sleep.
Cried, big tears, runny nose, loud "hold me"
Tried to lay her down and speak a few reassuring words a few times, not working/jumping/standing
Sat down on stool next to crib(bars not wide enough to put hand through)
Kept checking watch, 5 minutes reassure, hug, put her down (did not stay)
8 minutes reassure, hug, put her down (did not stay)
tried touching her hand a few times, "calm down, try to sleep"
Started trying to go longer not talking to her or looking directly at her
842pm she laid down on her own (popped back up to cry again)
850pm she laid down again (popped back up briefly)
856pm down and didn't get up
pretty sure asleep at 9pm
left her room at 920pm
Keeping fingers crossed that she will sleep through. And that I will have the will power to follow through if she does not.  Wish me luck.

[mommybear!]

She slept through! And didn't hate me in the morning 

Night Two
We made sure to tell her how proud we were.  Gave her lots of hugs and kisses throughout the day.  DH put her down for nap like usual. Hold her, she usually falls asleep quick for nap. From what I read its a good idea to do bedtime sleep training first.
So same routine...
7:20pm pjs and nurse
brush teeth
potty(she actually got some pee out)
family story time and cuddle on mommy & daddy's bed
Goodnights
8:20pm Told time to lay down and fall asleep on own.
I sat next to the crib in the same spot.
She started to cry again but only lasted a few minutes.
She laid down and started tossing and turning.
Got up on her knees a few times and talked
Amelia:"Santa ate cookies and milk"
Mommy:"yes he did, now time to sleep lay down."
Tossed and turned some more then got on knees again
Amelia:"Oh no Where kitty?"
Mommy:"I don't see her but you have other stuffed animals. Give dolly a cuddle and go to sleep"
She told dolly she was proud of her. ( ???wow)
She tossed and turned some more.
8:51pm stopped moving
Asleep by 9, left room 910pm
Slept through the night.  Only heard her cry out  very briefly once at 4ish and fell back asleep.
I'm amazed at the progress.
On day three now and I put her down for nap.  Hopefully I didn't just back track us. Keeping fingers crossed.

[Truly Blessed]

Hi Honey,

So sorry for the late reply! forgive me . Wowzer, well done you! and DD That is a super result. There are just a couple of things I would tweak which may help.

From what I read its a good idea to do bedtime sleep training first.

IME this is not the case, because the more you do it the quicker she will adjust. Also it means you are sending a mixed message. So I would recommend that you do exactly the same for nap at you do at BT, if this is possible 

Although it is very hard (I have been there  ) try and stick with one sleepy phrase for eg "Sleepy time Darling" and no matter what she says to you reply with that phrase. This means she knows she can't engage you in conversation (no matter how cute it may be lol) therefore speeding up the sleeping process. Also use it as little as possible.

If she stands don't lay her back down. That is interacting and she may keep doing it for that reason, she will eventually get bored and lay herself down which is far better.

If she throw any toys out of the crib, give her it back but not directly, just place it in the crib. If she does it repeatedly for attention, then keep it for 1 min then 2 mins etc adding a minute every time, I invented this and it works  lol, proud moment  .

If she does as well tonight maybe think about facing the chair away from her as a 2nd step.

If you have any NW where you need to go in, do exactly the same thing until she is asleep.

You can definitely do this! She is getting the idea very quickly, clever girl  . Just stay resolute, LO's pick up on this and sense that you are in control.

I'll be waiting to hear how tonight goes 

Good Luck.x.

[mommybear!]

Well, it was going well. Last night was a disaster, took 3 1/2 hours of on and off crying.  I screwed up royally. The last few days  DH did naps then I did naps, let her fall asleep on me.  The first night was fine but asked about the rocking chair.  Then she woke up from nap. I thought it was a nightmare and held her, she slept on me.  I don't remember which day was what and this point. DH had taken her out for one of her naps too and she fell asleep in car. Woke and he held her to sleep too.  We have completely confused her.  I forgot yesterday to tell her just helping you for nap, bedtime you sleep on your own.  I'm afraid the lack of sleep is just going to continue to make me make stupid mistakes.  Part of me wants to bite the bullet for todays nap and sleep train.  I'm afraid it will make everything worse.  My husband is back to work this week and even part of this weekend.  I have no help. Yikes!  I think she is picking up on my panic.    I had made it close to the door too.  I was doing every three days, move the stool closer to door. Now what do I do? ugh

[Truly Blessed]

Ah Hun, you just move on and start again. Just so you know it is quite typical for things to go well and then regress a few days later, so this is probably what has happened. I understand it is very easy and often easier in the short term when you are tired to revert to the way things were but from now on moving forward just stay resolute and stick to the programme. Start sitting by the cot again without eye contact for all sleeps, don't worry you're on your own, DH was around when I initially ST our DS but I did it all myself out of choice, Tracy did recommend it if possible for the first few days anyway, and only switch parents/carers if you desperately need a break (I hope I remember that rightly lol :/)

You can't go back, she will still get the message if you stick with it, it is only one night off track, and remember she has shown she is a smart cookie, and gets the idea very quickly 

(HUGS)

x.

[mommybear!]

Thanks for the reassurance.  It's nice to hear and I keep it in mind when I'm sitting there.  So after I thought about it and it came down to the wire.  I realized I needed to take a step back and ask myself what I'm I afraid of.  If this past year has taught me anything, it's the importance of balance.  They really do pick up on it, if you are feeling overwhelmed and cranky.  I know I don't function well on little sleep.  My DH is just a ball of crank when I'm a ball of crank.  So I realized if I am going to potentially give up the only break I get during the day to sleep train, I need help.  It's exhausting and I'm starting to have a clear understanding of my limits.  So I decided to try keeping the nap the same (hold her to sleep) one more time and just sleep train during night.  My lo is great with communication so I made sure to give her lots of hugs and tell her that mommy is just helping her to sleep during nap.  At bedtime she goes to sleep on her own.  If she wakes early during her nap mommy can sit on the stool if she wants to try and sleep more.  Otherwise we can get up early.  I repeated this 3-4 times during lunch, get ready for nap routine.  She ended up sleeping an hour and 50 minutes.  Woke up crying but calmed quickly when I came in.  Bedtime came...she whined and talked about ten minutes then went to sleep.  Same today.  Except stupid cat came in when I put her down.  Didn't seem to confuse her though.
So, I am making arrangements to get a regular babysitter.  We are staying the course for now. Sleep train night and wait on nap training.   But I will have somebody to help when we decide to start the nap training.  I am still undecided when to start but since she is making progress again, I'm not going to rush it.  She went to bed earlier these past two nights and seems to be getting back to normal happy mood.  She seems to take after mommy that way, the more rest, the less confused, and of course the less cranky. 

[Truly Blessed]

I think it is important to know our own limits too Hun, and just as important that you do what is right for your family, so well done. It's great that you are explaining clearly how things are going to be, I would keep that up to avoid confusion.

Keeping everything crossed for you.x.

[mommybear!]

Thanks. We had our first early wake from the nap.  Hour nap and I did not hold her back to sleep.  I offered to sit but she wanted me to pick her up.  We went downstairs instead and watched some curious George and snuggled.  She was cranky for a little bit then calmed down.  We will see what tonight holds.  I gave the babysitter a date for next week.  She saw her briefly yesterday after not seeing her since the summer(she broke her leg).  She warmed up to her by the end of the visit.  So hopefully things will work out with the babysitter being available.  Just thinking about having an extra pair of hands to help out gives me more resolve. 
In regards to nap training though...how do you handle it if a nap doesn't happen?  That first night of sleep training took a good 45 minutes and the night we got set back she was in and out of crying for over 2 hours.  Just really early bedtime?

[Truly Blessed]

Hey, yes just EBT Hun, as early as you dare, depends if she tacks on sleep in the morning. If trying for a nap then I would keep trying as long as she isn't too upset, until it's such a time that it would be better for her not to nap ie: not enough time left IYSWIM 

x.