Separation Anxiety -help!

[Carys' mom]

Hi,

Well last night was not as bad as the night before, but still not good. I had to go in several times. I'm pretty sure it's a combination of teething and separation anxiety. I think I'm going to have to re-do the sleep training thing. I've gotten into the bad habit of going in and picking her up for several minutes to comfort her, and now she expects it.

The amazing thing is that she doesn't end up making up the sleep in her naps - they only ever amount to a total of 2 to 3 hours total during the day, usually closer to 2 hours total. Lately, she keeps going and going like the Energizer Bunny and then usually melts down between 5 and 6pm, which means we get to put up with a very grumpy, tired, whiny baby until her bedtime. Ugh. 

Georgia - I hope things get better with Foti. Carys has become a lot more mobile lately too (now crawling and sitting up on her own!), so I'm sure these milestones are contributing to her wakefulness too.

Velvet - thanks for your best wishes - I hope things go better with your lo too.

Thanks...

[jennc123]

wow, its so nice to read that others are dealing with this right now, i have been at aloss the last few days, my dd has been getting up at either 11pm or 2am screaming ma-ma at teh top of her lungs and not going back to sleep for 2 hours :?  ...and during the day she is napping okay but waking up crying so i know she is not getting enough rest and also very clingy, everytime i put her down in her playyard or crib or exersaucer even she starts crying.  I am at my wits end with this and I am now suspecting it separation anxiety and teething at the same time PLUS she can now stand very well almost unsupported (yep) and she is crawling like a champ...so i am sure this contributes to the fussiness.  I am just praying tonight she sleeps better, i have been giving her motrin to help with the teething at night but she still gets up... :cry:

[velvet]

Hi JennC

I am so glad you mentioned that your baby goes down for naps fine but not night time.  Mine too!  Tonight was another difficult night.  I am trying so many things that it's like having a newborn all over again.  I did read that at this age they are stressed and worried about being away from you.  They just need reassurance whether that's you staying in the room or coming back often to check on them.  The book states that if you keep instilling the fact that you are here for them, the separation anxiety should go away in a month!

[Carys' mom]

Hi ladies,

Last night was much better, although she did wake up quite early (5am or so) and started up the crying then. She managed to sleep through the night though.  Not sure if it's because she finally crashed, or because we put a night light in her room. We think she's afraid of the dark maybe. At this point we're willing to try anything!

[velvet]

ok- now it was my baby's turn to stay up for 2.5 hours last night.  He woke up at 11:20 and didnt go back down to sleep until 1:40.  I stayed with him the first hour as he tossed and turned and bobbed his head to see if I was still there.  By the second hour, I gave in and fed him.  Then I put him down to sleep.  That lasted 10 minutes.  He woke crying again.  I took him out, gave him tylenol and he finally went to bed.  Now I dont know if it was the tylenol that helped or if it was that 2.5 hours had passed and he finally fell asleep.  I am getting frustrated.

[GG]

wow, its so nice to read that others are dealing with this right now, i have been at aloss the last few days, my dd has been getting up at either 11pm or 2am screaming ma-ma at teh top of her lungs and not going back to sleep for 2 hours

Fortunately, ds isn't staying up for 2 hours at a time (jennc I hope that's changed for the better!) but he does wake up at random times during the night (though not so random... it's usually when dh comes to bed  :evil: - that kid is a light sleeper!!) and he does say "ma-ma" too!!   :shock:  The first few times he said that (made that noise?) I was like, "Wow, what a cool coincidence. He's learning the 'ma' sound" but now it's definite that he's saying 'ma-ma'.  Tonight he woke up at 9:30 PM saying that and dh tried getting him to sleep.  He kept saying 'ma-ma' and it crushed my heart every single time!!

He's been sleeping in his crib in our room since birth and now we're ready to transition him to his own room - technically it's the guest room, which is why we never moved him before.  Our last guests for a long time left yesterday so now we're ready to move him.  I'm hoping it helps him sleep better instead of worse.  We'll soon find out.

[Carys' mom]

Arghh - yet another bad night last night.  :cry: I don't know what to do with this child - I'm at the end of my rope. She started up at about midnight and cried off and on throughout the rest of the night and morning. I actually tried feeding her to see if maybe it was hunger from a growth spurt, but she only ate 2.25 oz of formula. I gave her Motrin too for the teething. Looks like we'll be doing some sleep training again starting tonight. I've been putting it off because it's so hard to listen to all that crying, but she's crying anyway!

Wish us luck! I wish you ladies the best of luck with your lo's. Does this ever get easier??

[GG]

Wish us luck! I wish you ladies the best of luck with your lo's. Does this ever get easier??

Of course... when they move out.   :wink:    (just kidding!)

Seriously, though, good luck!  I'm not sure why your lo is waking up so much at night but I will look through Tracy's book again and see if I come up with anything for you.

[velvet]

Mine is starting to struggle with naps now.  I think I jinxed myself when I said naps were going well.  He seems to just want someone there with him.

  I also notice that during play time he comes to me more often for snuggles and kisses.  He really seems to want to be with me or dh a lot more than before.  He turns 11 months on Dec 3.  Isnt he supposed to have at least 1 tooth before his first birthday?

[jennc123]

bella is all over the place, she has been napping really well, 1 1/2 to 2 hour naps during the day and sleeping most of the night, i hear her get up and she fusses and says ma-ma (at the top of her lungs) and then resettles her self.  so the last two nights we haven't really had an episode like the other night.  So i really don't know what is going on with her, I do know this teething is really ridiculous, i wish the darn teeth would come through, i know its teething from all the saliva and her touching her jaw, i keep ruling out an ear infection.

[velvet]

Here's a new problem I need help with and it's all tied together with everything we've been talking about.

 I stay with my lo to help him fall asleep because he cries when I leave. However  I am using PU/PD because he keeps standing up.  I havent used this method for awhile. 

Anyways, I was just wondering- what if they stop crying but keep standing up?  I keep putting him back down but he keeps getting up. There is no crying until I finally tire and say "Ok if you want to play, I'll check on you later"  As soon as I turn to leave he cries. So I say "It's just bedtime" over and over and then he stands up again, put down, stand up, putdown. but no crying.  Am I doing this right?  I tire faster than he does!

[jennc123]

from what i have read when they go thru the standing phase and bella did i just kept putting her down till she got the hint it was time to sleep.  i wonder if your baby is getting tired out enough during the day?.i have to really wear bella out and usually, well 98% of the time she can't stay up past 7pm.  sorry i don't have much advice, it may just be a bunch of things keeping him up right now...maybe a moderator can get in this topic and help you.... :?

[velvet]

You know its funny that you say maybe my lo just needs to be tired out.  Well this is how he is after being up for 5 hours already!  And I watch him like a hawk for signs of tiredness.  He is like the energizer bunny!

[Carys' mom]

Ahhhh - I can't stand this!!!  :cry: :cry:  My DH is doing PU/PD with Carys right now. I can't stand hearing her cry - it tears my heart out. It seems like she gets more and more worked up when we do PU/PD. She's hysterical. My DH and I are supposed to take turns doing PU/PD with her, but I don't think I can do it. I just don't know what to do anymore - I can't take this sleep deprivation anymore.  :cry:

[jennc123]

my little one is also a very active girl and she does eventually tire out, so tired that it comes across as not being tired(hope that made sense) i notice that if she is falling alot and more wobbly than she has had enough, then i know she is ready for a nap or for bed.