13.5mo won't sleep without breast. Please help!

[tenjam]

Please help!  My 13.5mo DD has always gone to sleep with either breastfeeding or sometimes with rocking. She will never lie down without crying and will stand up immediately.

She will also wake up once or twice in the night, every night.

I've had enough and would like her to sleep on her own, right through the night, and also stop breastfeeding.

Her usual routine is:
7.30pm - bedtime routine starts
8.30pm - sleep on breast and put in cot
10.30pm - wake up and breast feed to sleep
1am - wake up and breast feed to sleep
4am - sometimes wake up and breast feed to sleep
6am or 7am - wake up and breast feed and then taken downstairs for normal breakfast/play.
12.30pm - nap for 2hrs

She also has bad separation anxiety at the moment.

DH tried PUPD last night but gave up because she would never stay laid down for 1 second.  This went on for 40 minutes during which she was distraught.  She became extremely tired but would still stand up every time she was put down.  After that 40minutes it took 30 seconds to send her to sleep by rocking!

We had read that PUPD was all about her lieing down for at least a second, but DH gave up because this just didn't happen.

Has anybody here had a similar sitaution?  Please can anyone suggest a routine/method?  Also should I stop breastfeeding at the same time, only do breastfeeding at certain times of the day, or stop breastfeeding once her sleeping is sorted out?

[Shdef]

I think because she is so old, I would do it very gently...

Tracy describes how to deal with that problem in the toddler book...

Okay...

1. Breastfeed as usual but then take her off the breast before she is asleep and get the lovey instead

2. Rock her to sleep in a rocking chair or something like that

3. Next day don't breastfeed before tuck in, just cuddle her to sleep

4. Next days cuddle and rock her until she is nearly asleep and then put her in cot and gently pat her back and say shhh shhh until she is asleep...

The whole thing might take a few weeks but it is a common problem. If you have always nursed her to sleep every time that means also that she has got a lot of trust in you and that you have been very consistant. Just do not let her cry and alone in the cot, that would be horrible... She has now learned that she can only go to sleep with a breast and it is time to teach her inependant sleep. Because she is already 13 months, a lovey could really help (like a teddy or a blankey or something that smells of you)...

Good luck and HUGS


Steffi

P.S. I haven't been through that so there will be much better advise than mine but I just read the passage in Tracy's book about exactly that

[tenjam]

Hi Steffi

Thank you so much for your reply and ideas.  They sound great and I'll have a go.

Can anybody else help?  Perhaps if you've been in our situation?