Hi BW community... Please help! DS is crying himself into hysteria before naps and can't/won't calm himself
DS is 10 months now, moderate LSN, been on EASY from birth, but only really started getting it right after buying Tracy's 'Baby Whisperer solves all your problems' at 3m. Sh/pt worked quite well, but I never withdrew as I didn't know I was supposed to and I never felt he went to sleep very easily, it was still a little bit of a struggle each time, but much better than before. I managed to get DS onto a 4 hour routine at 4m and things were looking good - he even went to sleep independently a number of times. However, ever since he started teething and crawling at around 6m it has been an ongoing battle which we are both losing.
He seems to be moderately advanced - he is taking steps already and has 8 teeth. There are so many things that could be going wrong - illness, AP, developmental changes - I feel as if I never blimming know what to do and it's driving me nuts. Or, I think it's developmental, but then I'm not sure how to adjust my wind down routine/how to get him to sleep! PUPD is quite hands off at this age, but when he starts spluttering and coughing he's crying so hard I feel at a loss of what to do! I don't want to leave him in his cot when he needs comfort, but I also don't want to AP him. I feel as if I am permanently doing PUPD without an end! Some days I think it's going OK, he only cries for 10min (would love this to be 0min on a good day!!), but then we go through a bad stretch and he gets so worked up I feel helpless. It doesn't help that he's been transitioning (on his own just about) to one nap for a while now - I've been having to go for a walk or drive for his second nap since he was about 7m, otherwise he fights his nap and will happily be awake for 7hrs! I've had quite a lot of success getting him to have one nap in the middle of the day and then having an earlier BT, but he still fights that one nap! (I still do 2 naps if there is more than 5.5hrs before BT, but it doesnt go as well as when he has one nap). Part of me thinks that he has now learned that this is how he goes to sleep?? I just don't know how to help him and it's killing me.
Take today for example:
Only had 10hrs sleep last night as he fought BT for an hour (cos he had a second nap of 40min at 4pm) and then woke up early this morning. Hence aiming for a 2 nap day, so am nap just before lunch then short pm nap.
6.10 woke up, BF, went back to sleep (so treated as a NW)
6.30 woke up again (?? Would have expected him to sleep til 7), BF (he cries if I don't - even when he's just had), stayed awake
7.30 breakfast
10.30 looked quite tired so did wind down. As soon as curtains and door closed starts crying and fighting me, so I put him down in his cot (as that's what I believe I'm supposed to do if he's fighting me...if he's still fighting after 10min I'll give up). At this point I usually sit on a stool in the passage (only got that far in the gradual withdrawal). Stands up, still crying. After a few min I go in put him down, give him his blanket and stuffed animal (which he still doesn't really take
), go back to my stool. More of the same. I give him some painkiller as he's crying as if he might be in pain. He seems comforted to suck the syringe, but starts crying when it's finished. After 10-15min I decide to give up, take him outside. He stops crying immediately.
11am lunch, soon he'll be getting hungry and then really won't go to sleep.
11.20 looks tired wind down again. And again, screaming, crying, standing. So it can't be pain, the painkiller will have kicked in by now. I try to comfort him, but he tries to climb up me. So I put him down and he starts getting irate. He starts coughing and spluttering and getting more and more hysterical. At this point I am torn, do I AP him and comfort him or do I leave him? I can't just leave him, so I pick him up. Tears are just streaming down his face. Now he's getting OT, he's completely worked up and I'm feeling desperate. I end up feeding him and he calms within seconds and passes out. Yes, this has happened before, but only when I honestly don't know what else to do.
11.45 Asleep in cot
12.55 wakes up crying, tried to resettle didn't work, BF, falls asleep again.
13.20 woke up (why?? Is this OT?) Now he's awake and happy.
He got stuck on 1h10min/1h15min naps but if he's tired enough he sleeps for 2 hrs or more. Usual A time is 4.5 - 5hrs (it seems a lot, but I still sometimes get the 1h15min nap! which is UT, right ?). I have also tried to get him to take a transference object or lovey for a while now, but to no avail... He just struggles to calm himself before going to sleep - even when I have a nice long wind down! I don't think it's crib phobia, more like sleep phobia!
I need a second pair of eyes to see what's going wrong. Why can't I get BW to work at nap times?? Please, help...