Author Topic: Why is it such a battle?  (Read 1013 times)

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Offline janelle

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Why is it such a battle?
« on: March 03, 2007, 12:59:55 pm »
I posted a few months ago about having trouble getting Liana to go to bed at night.  WEll, it has now been three months and things are no better, in fact they are worse.  Nap times and bedtimes are a nightmare.  I even mention bed and instantly she starts wiyh "no, please don't put me away"????? ::) :-\ 

This all started when we went away for a two week travelling holiday during which time we had to sleep in the same room most nights and had pretty late nights.  Since we got back she has been resisting bedtimes, continually inssisting on 1 more book (she would do this all night), a drink, toast etc.  To try and avoid this we would pcik a certain number of books and she would have her drink and toast while we read them.  But still she is in and out of her room until 10:30 11:00pm EVERY night!!!!  We have been really consistent with just walking her back to her room without comment and no change at all.  She is even now insisting on having the door open which she has never had ever.

The story is the same at nap time with her quite often not napping at all.  I thought maybe she was ready to drop her nap but it has made no difference to night times on those days. Every now and then she will not nap and then fall asleep at 7:00pm exharusted.  On these occassions she sleeps for about 2-3 hours (nap length) and then is wide awake in an out until well after midnight.

Even on these nights she is still waking at 7am.  So I am left with one very, very tired and cranky 3 year old who won't nap or go to bed until she falls asleep out of sheer exhaustion, quite often in the car on the way out at 10 am in the morning!!!! ::)

Please help me, I don't know what is wrong, or why she is doing this or most importantly how to fix it.  I am going stir crazy am utterly exhausted as I am still getting up to ds during the night.  And to top it off I have no me time during the day now she won't nap.  I am tired of the constant in and out!!!  Prior to our trip away she was apleasure to put to bed noproblems with coming out even when first in a proper bed.  Good 2-3 hour nap and solid 12 hours at night.

Sorry this is so long but I have just about had it! :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(
Liana (6)- 9th January  2004
Liam (4) - 8th March 2006
and my beautiful new bub!

Offline Mariek

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Re: Why is it such a battle?
« Reply #1 on: March 03, 2007, 13:06:59 pm »
Janelle

This is a little out of left-field compared to the usual responses to sleep posts, but it was the first thing that popped into my head when I read your post so I'm going to post it.

Is there any way you can move the furniture around in her bedroom? With you saying the "please don't put me away thing" it sounds to me like she has a negative connotation to her bed for some reason and I'm thinking if you had a change around and maybe went out shopping for a new duvet cover or lamp or something that you could get her excited about her bed instead of being bothered by it.

I'm not sure if that's even worth a try but as I said it was the first thing that came to mind so I wondered if maybe it had some merit to it.

Hope you get things sorted soon.  :-* to you and Liana.

love
Marie



Offline janelle

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Re: Why is it such a battle?
« Reply #2 on: March 03, 2007, 14:43:14 pm »
Is there any way you can move the furniture around in her bedroom? With you saying the "please don't put me away thing" it sounds to me like she has a negative connotation to her bed for some reason and I'm thinking if you had a change around and maybe went out shopping for a new duvet cover or lamp or something that you could get her excited about her bed instead of being bothered by it.


We have actually already done that! (Great minds!!)  She got a new princess bedroom for her birthday ::)  She loves playing in there during the day and will often just go and lay on her bed saying she is "resting". 
Liana (6)- 9th January  2004
Liam (4) - 8th March 2006
and my beautiful new bub!

Offline Mariek

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Re: Why is it such a battle?
« Reply #3 on: March 03, 2007, 14:55:05 pm »
LOL Janelle. Not quite as out of left field as I thought than ;)

Do you think it's something that's bothering her about going to bed or do you think it's just that she's going into this habit (routine) of doing things that way now? I know Liana is very close in age to Grace and Gracie is good with explaining if things are bothering her about her room - sometimes she'll ask for her light on for example but then will ask to turn it off because she doesn't like the shadows and knows she won't get shadows if her lights not on. Have you asked Liana what's bothering her about bedtime?

love
Marie



Offline janelle

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Re: Why is it such a battle?
« Reply #4 on: March 03, 2007, 22:16:29 pm »
The only answer we get is I want to stay in the house (which means where we are)  I think it is a habit now.  I don't know if it is because she got used to sleeping with us while we were away, but I thought that after 3 months of putting her back to bed she would have gotten used to being back in her room again????
Liana (6)- 9th January  2004
Liam (4) - 8th March 2006
and my beautiful new bub!

Offline Khyan & Sahria's mum

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Re: Why is it such a battle?
« Reply #5 on: March 04, 2007, 22:08:00 pm »
I know its a step backwards but have you tried sitting at her door until she is asleep and then slowly moving away over time ?

I know it's not optimum but she seems so resistant to the whole pop her back in bed routine (don't worry I have one of those too  ;) )

Sorry Janelle as you know I'm not really in a position to give sleep advice  ;) but I am in a position to give big huge squishy hugs  :-*

xx
Michaela
Khyan & Sahria's Mummy




Offline Katet

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Re: Why is it such a battle?
« Reply #6 on: March 04, 2007, 22:31:21 pm »
Although Liam is heaps younger than Liana, when we moved him to a bed, we got into a really big overtired cycle & he was sleeping about 10hours/24 & really needy & fighting going to bed etc.
Now things are to a point he almost askes to go to bed... I also know that if Aiden is overtired he fights bedtime & yet if he is rested he doesn't KWIM. I also know of 3 other people who have much the same stories to tell.

much the same as Michaela, I think you need to help her learn to relax & she isn't finding it relaxing at bedtime, thus the need to stall.

For what it is worth, I'd try  getting her to have sleep anyway you can - in the car etc then try earlier bedtime (on a night you can get dh around) & literally read stories, talk cuddle, rub her back etc in her bed until she falls asleep, with you there... do that for 2-3 days if you can, then work on being there for her helping her relax & going back if she comes out, but NOT ignoring but saying "oh are you finding it hard to get to sleep, do you need Mummy to give you a cuddle, rub your back etc" & then doing that for a moment & telling her you will be back to check in a few minutes & will rub her back/cuddle etc if she still isn't asleep & keep doing that until she does go to sleep... by rights she should take until her "average" time the first day or so, but should get better gradually over a few days.
Anyway having had bad insomnia myself, I have learnt it is being able to relax or not that makes a huge difference in the ability to fall asleep, so I now don't try to get my boys to sleep, but teach them skills to relax & that does get them to sleep

Also some people can't cope with food right on bedtime, as their digestive system keeps them awake... so I would offer the last milk & toast 30mins before bedtime & then only water at bedtime, so her digestion can shut down too.



dc1 July 03, dc2 May 05

Offline janelle

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Re: Why is it such a battle?
« Reply #7 on: March 06, 2007, 01:39:19 am »
Thanks Ladies, don't have time to write a reply just now but I have read yours ;)
Liana (6)- 9th January  2004
Liam (4) - 8th March 2006
and my beautiful new bub!