Quitting and so sad

[MomtoRee]

We just got back from vacation and I have been planning to stop BF when we got back but I am having a hard time.  I didn't know it would hit me so hard.  When I held her before bed I just cried and cried and then cried all the way to to store.  I talked to a few people and they don't understand how I am feeling.  I was ready to quit and the dr said that it should help some problems I am having.  Reegan is 15 months so I know she is old enough.  I feel so blessed to have made it this long through all the supply issues so I don't know why I am so upset with stopping.  I thought about just waiting but I don't think that my feelings will change if I waited until she older.  I guess I am worried that we will "loose" something in our relationship and she will be mad at me. 

Ok, thanks for listening.  I just needed to get all that out.

[Gigismom]

oh valorie!     i am not stalking you, i just happened to see your post in this board too.  your feelings are totally normal.  i cried too when i was in the hospital and realized that we were done bf'ing.  (or maybe that was just the pain making me cry... )  it gets better, it really does. 

[LindseysMom]

Hey there.  I so know what you mean.  I can't even bring myself to stop because just thinking about it makes me have the same concerns you just expressed.  I say ok this Monday I am going to drop the am feed and then Monday comes and I go ahead and offer and of course she is always willing to feed when I offer.  I am so confused.  I know I should quit offering but I am so afraid she will be hurt by me not offering.  Hope you feel better soon. 

[Samuel's mum]

I'm so sorry you are finding it tough. There are also physiological changes happening in your body that contribute to how you are feeling as one of the changes that occurs with weaning is a drop in prolactin levels. Prolactin, the hormone responsible for milk production, also gives a feeling of happiness, calmness and relaxation. The faster the weaning process the more sudden the change in hormone levels, and the more likely that you will experience negative effects. Not jolly news I know but as least your feelings are explainable. She is so lucky to have had such a good start in life and although you are going to 'lose' breastfeeding, it is going to be replaced by more exciting and good things.

[First Time Mom]

Hi MomtoRee,

I think it's wonderful that you bf for so long, your dd is very lucky to have a loving and dedicated mom like you. I've often heard of mothers getting very sad when they stop bfing. I think long term I'll be in your shoes- my lo is only 13 weeks and has now decided she only wants 6 feeds (used to be and I feed sad! I think it's a feeling of not wanting to part with certain stages in their life (your baby's going to be entering toddlerhood, mine's leaving the newborn phase). You won't lose anything in your relationship, you'll only gain as your dd discovers new things with her mommy that she couldn't do before.

Ok, I don't know why the "cool" face pops in, I'm trying to type the number eight!

[daisymelan]

I am touched by your words.  My son is only 7 months old and I can only hope I nurse as long as you.  You have done such a wondeful thing for your lo.  Be comforted by knowing this. 

You are an inspiration to bfing moms.

{{{{{{hugs}}}}}

[jbepko]

My last nursing for my DD was a sad day...and I still treasure that memory. She on the otherhand......didn't seem to miss nursing on litlle bit (she was 14 months). My DS is 6 months old and I know I will cry at his last feeding also. I still a special bond with my DD even though we aren't nursing. But I've been there and I share your tears.

[GraceKellysmom]

Sending you {{{{hugs}}}}

I weaned Max at 16 months old, for health reasons too. The first week was the hardest, the hormones are out of balance when you wean. He (and most babies) forgot quickly what they were for and he now enjoys his snuggle time with me instead. He loves his "ilk" he bangs on the fridge door for me to get him a cup of milk.

It's been 2.5 months and I'm still kinda sad about it. But Max isn't! 

[MomtoRee]

Thanks everyone!  It helps reading all the posts and to know that I am not crazy for feeling this way.  I know that my hormones are all out of sorts and I am looking forward to feeling "normal" again.  I guess that you could get this from that post that was all over the place last night! 

Dh took the 4 night wakenings last night.  It was like she knew because she never gets up more than once.  It helps that he is helping out with this or I think that I would have given in and nursed her.  It also really helped that she didn't ask to nurse once today (made me a little sad that she didn't want to).  I think that it was good I worked today so I wasn't around her all day to give her the chance to ask. 

Thanks for making me feel better!

[JacobMarksMummy]

Glad you are feeling better! 

[daisymelan]

 

[Erin (redstarfalling)]

I feel for you - but I'm glad things are getting better.  I still haven't dropped our last feed before bed...although the plan had been to do that 2 or 3 weeks ago, I think...    You're not alone!  Sending <hugs>.

[kim&savannah]

I know how you feel--for me, the saddest part was a when a week after our last bfing, I tried to offer to bf (dd was sick and having a horrible evening and I just wanted to help her relax.)  She had absolutely no idea what to do.  They really do forget quickly and you develop other rituals that keep your relationship strong.  She'll be fine--its the mom that usually has the hardest time

~Kim

[MomtoRee]

Thanks everybody!  I feel so much better about it after a few days and a few pounds of chocolate.  I actually went out the other night and for the first time in 2 years was able to have a glass of wine!  That helped    Today she  actually asked to BF for the first time and I was tempted because my boobs hurt so bad!  How long does it take to dry up and get some relief?  I thought about pumping some off but I know that would just prolong the effect.

[GraceKellysmom]

I pumped a tiny bit (1-2 oz) maybe two times in the days after Max weaned. It helps to relieve the pressure. You can massage your breasts in the shower so you don't get any plugged ducts too. I felt much better after about a week from the last nursing. HTH

MMMM chocolate and wine!

[CharlotteandCharlie]

My dd is just over six months and I plan on continuing for a while longer but I would think (having only imagined those feelings) that weaning my dd would feel like bfing is the last link associated with being pregnant, giving birth, creating life, sustaining that life and so on.  Your body is yours again and no one else's.  For 40 weeks it was not your own and then all through bfing your body provides nourishment for your baby.  Oh my, I could cry right now. 

To me it would feel like the end of an amazing journey.  It is a miracle I am lucky enough to be a part of it (pregnancy, birth and nursing that is).

Do you know what I mean?

[annamum]

I would think (having only imagined those feelings) that weaning my dd would feel like bfing is the last link associated with being pregnant, giving birth, creating life, sustaining that life and so on.  Your body is yours again and no one else's.  For 40 weeks it was not your own and then all through bfing your body provides nourishment for your baby.  Oh my, I could cry right now. 

To me it would feel like the end of an amazing journey.  It is a miracle I am lucky enough to be a part of it (pregnancy, birth and nursing that is).

I never thought of it that way but, I admit, it sounds so true!

[GG]

I know exactly how you feel!  I posted in the Weaning forum because I was feeling guilty (and definitely sad) about weaning ds.  If I hadn't gotten pregnant I would have kept nursing him - he really enjoys it and, despite his teething, is still a pretty enjoyable experience.  He has not been happy about his morning session being "cancelled" and I'm almost wondering if it would be better for me to have dropped the am and pm (pre-bedtime) sessions altogether but... you should see how excited (almost desperate) he gets when he realizes that it's time to nurse!  I feel as if I'm taking away his joy!        (great... now I feel like crying.)

I know I can continue nursing him if I want to but I really don't want to tandem nurse once the other one is born and, not to mention, it's a bit uncomfortable with my belly getting bigger.  On the other hand, I realized today that, as soon as I completely wean him off (I'm aiming for the week after his first birthday), I can wear my "regular," non-nursing bras for the next 3 months!!!!  I can't wait!!!  Oh, the joys of motherhood.