Well see, she's weird.
LOL, aren't they all?!?!
When I first put her down at night she falls asleep fine on her own. However, during the days she has a really hard time going to sleep on her own. In fact, only about 1 nap a day she goes to sleep on her own. Though I feed her to sleep at night I always wake her to burp her so she's put down and falls a sleep on her own. Just during the day is tough for her. I tried letting her cry it out, but most the time it doesn't work.
My DS was the same way. He would sleep in his crib in his own room just fine at night, but during the day he would have nothing to do with it and would NOT sleep unless he was being held - meaning he was not going to nap independently if his life depended on it. I never did figure that out. Being spirited, he also really hates change and needs quite a long time to get used to anything new.
So what we did was over the course of about 2.5 months (ridiculous amount of time I know) was teach him to sleep on the couch in the living room (one of us was right there of course) and then moved him to his crib for naps. It was the strangest thing, one day I was trying to get him to nap on the couch and he was just screaming his head off, really angry. I was confused and frustrated, and getting mad at him so I put him in his crib for a moment so I could calm myself, and when I came back in he was asleep! And he's slept there ever since. I guess he was trying to tell me that's where he wanted to be.
Perhaps it would help you to try something similar for the naps? It sounds like she is capable of independent sleep, but has a hard time with naps like my DS did.
I must really encourage you though to leave the crying it out by the wayside. With BW we strongly believe that CIO breaks the trust between a lo and the parent. When they cry they need you! Depending on how often and how recently you did that, you might be experiencing a loss of trust with your lo, and if so that will need to be regained before the independent sleep improves. She needs to know that you will be there when she needs you.
I didn't give her oatmeal at dinner yesterday and I think she did better! She was in bed at 9 (we had dinner with family and got hom late ) woke up at 12am 3 am 5 am and 6 am... she was up until 7, but I just let her stay in her crib and she fell asleep completely by herself by 6:45 then slept til 8. I will definitely keep giving oatmeal for breakfast or lunch rather than dinner. I'm so glad you ladies mentioned that to me! I hope she'll also cluster feed too. I feel like we are making process!
Glad to hear that!! Sounds like perhaps the oatmeal was causing some sort of upset after all.