I feel like I'm losing my mind - totally regressing here

[Leosmama]

oh, one other thought I had, and this is related to drinking throughout the day-

I've noticed since going to mostly table foods (as opposed to baby food), he's had harder bm's.  He's not actually constipated, because he does have a bm every day, but they tend to be drier and harder.  I try to get him to drink water whenever possible, but I do worry that he's not getting enough total liquid during the day.  Any ideas for how to improve this?  Also, the one food he isn't crazy about is fruit (he eats everything else with abandon).

[binxyboo]

I knew he was breastfeeding.I guess my question was how well does he feed when he is nursing.I know at that age, Riley maybe wouldn't feed so long during the day, as there were so many more interesting things to do, and then in the still of the night, he would feed so much better when he was not distracted by the world around him. So we still had at least one night nursing. And even now when he's weaned, sometimes still a little drink of water or even milk if I know he's teething and hasn't drank a lot. He settles right back to sleep afterwards.

[aidenmc]

I was looking around for you Leosmama.

So sorry your guy isn't doing any better. I hate to say it but at his age he is heading into the tougest period we had with Aiden, due to teething. Those molars are brutal. The good thing is Leo is falling asleep well so this will minimize the nighttime disruption. I was up with Aiden 3-6 times per night . Things have been a bit worse with Aiden lately too - early wake-ups  and shorter naps. He has 2-3 teeth that are bothering him.

Personally, at this point I would try whatever works to get him to go back to sleep. As long as he is falling asleep on his own (you are still way ahead of me there) he has the skills to do so. When he is awake so long and squirming, he is clearly uncomfortable. It is so hard night after night, but I am sure that once the teething is better etc., he will be better. Oh, and also, Aiden was also very clingy and fussy during this time - combination of overtiredness and teething I suspect. He is a bit worse again right now because of those teeth (and because he is older - he is starting to show his temper! Last night I was trying to give him more TYlenol. He didn't want it so after I gave it to him he took a miny tantrum and wouldn't even take the boob I was offering until he calmed down!)

Anyway, I will follow again closely to see how you progress!

Becky

[Leosmama]

grrrr...I had just typed out a long reply and then lost my internet connection 

Michelle, Leo nurses well with each feeding.  The thing is, my supply is starting to slow down and the letdown is taking longer.  Leo doesn't seem to mind though, as he will patiently suck until the milk starts flowing.  He feeds on both sides for most nursings, too.  I would love to be able to just offer him a cup of milk in the night and have that be enough for him to go back to sleep.  Perhaps once things get settled with his sleep I can start working towards that.

Becky, I'm sorry to hear things are still difficult with you as well.  It was reassuring to hear that you also dealt with the clinginess/fussiness at this age.  Sometimes it feels like I'm the only mom who's lo acts this way (which of course I know isn't true) but I start to doubt my abilities as a parent and wonder if I've gone wrong somewhere.  I get tired of dh always asking me "what's wrong with him?  why is he acting like this?"  To which I always reply "he's overtired; he hasn't had enough sleep".  It's getting so old    The worst part is, I really need a break, but with the SA if anyone else (dh included) tries to take over Leo gets really upset because he only wants me these days.  I even belong to a gym that has a daycare, but I've avoided going because I know when I drop him off he'll lose it and then I won't even enjoy my workout.

OK, enough of the "poor me" ramblings on....I'm going to work on things and will report back in a day or so.  Thanks for all the help.

[aidenmc]

I also felt those same things - like I was being a bad mama, and he was having a miserable toddlerhood. It will soon pass, though. Aiden has changed so much in the last month or two and is much happier!

Of course he did decide to wake at 3:30 and was wide awake  until close to 5! Ah, the joys.

I know how hard it is on you. I really just survived by accepting that he was having a rough time and that he needed me to help him get through it - and that it would pass! (my 6 year-old has proven that). Is Leo still going straight through until early morning?

[Leosmama]

Well, here's how our day went; things were different in that I decided to just go off of Leo's cues and my instincts:

-instead of setting my alarm, I decided to wait till he woke and then go and feed him.  After falling asleep around 7pm last night, he woke at 4:40am.  I nursed him for about 20 minutes, but it became clear that he was wide awake and ready to get up for the day *sigh*

-we have breakfast at 6:00am.  I decide to add a tsp. of coconut oil and some hardboiled egg yolk to his cereal to add more fat and protein.  He eats every bite.

-at 7:30am, he shows signs of sleepiness, so I take him to his room and do a quick winddown.  Get him into the crib, and he begins to close his eyes and it looks like he's about to drift off to sleep.  BUT, he perks right up and proceeds to play in his crib for about 15-20 mins before I get him back up.

-at 8:30am, we have a snack (yogurt and these dried peas that he loves)

-because I know he'll need to go down for a nap before his usual lunchtime, I decide to do an early 'mini lunch' at 10:00am (winter squash puree, brown rice pasta, and about 3 oz. of milk)

-he goes down easily for a nap at 10:35am.  sleeps till 12:05, so 1.5 hr nap and he wakes well rested and happy.  I bf him when I got him up.

-around 1:00, he has his second 'mini lunch' (avocado, chicken, carrots, and another 3 oz or so of milk)

-Normally I would have tried for a stroller catnap in the late afternoon, but it's frigidly cold and windy here, so that just wasn't going to happen.  Instead, I opted for some quiet time in the rocking chair, although I really don't think it gave him the rest he needed.  Also, I offered him some cheese at 3:30pm but he wasn't interested.

-dinner at 5pm (grilled cheese sandwich, split pea soup, asparagus and probably 2 oz. of milk)

-he was tired, so we went right to his room to begin getting ready for bed.  I nursed him at 5:30, and he looked like he was going to doze off!  So we finished and got up to turn off the lights, and put him in his crib.  He layed down quietly and I figured he'd be out like a light.  But this is where things got ugly.  He started making these sputtering noises and blowing raspberries (I could hear there was a lot of saliva in his mouth) and then he stood up and began his vicious gnawing on the crib rail (thank goodness for the rail guard!)  So...I decided to give him some Motrin and then rubbed his back a bit to help him relax.  Long story short, it took him OVER AN HOUR to fall asleep    I know he was overtired, and that causes them to have a harder time going to sleep, but I've seen him that drowsy at bedtime before and he knocked right out.  Anyway, he was asleep by 6:45pm.


It's obvious that the nap was way too early in the day for him to make it to bedtime.  But when I offered a nap 3 hrs after he woke, he wouldn't take it.  And I also know that whenever I've let him nap anytime after 3pm it spells disaster for bedtime and the subsequent night.  So what could I do differently if he wakes at this time again tomorrow?

Also, I'm going to feed him at the 9 hr mark tonight, which will be 2:30am.  I hope this helps get him through to at least 5am...

[Leosmama]

oh man....

went in to do the df at 2:30am, and as I was nursing him he woke up!  it took over an hour for him to fall back asleep.  He wasn't crying, just babbling and tossing and turning.  I swear I don't know if I'll ever figure this out...

[binxyboo]

Hugs.
I really didn't mean to trivialise things when I was talking about offering a drink when he wakes, and apologise sincerely if came off that way. I know that you are working hard on resolving his sleep issues. I have heard though that feeding too late in the night dream feed style can cause disturbed sleep as well. I know Riley was so big at that age, there was no way I could have nursed him without waking him up somewhat.

I hope the rest of your night went better. Our night sucked. His nap was cut short for the past two days, and last night he must have woke at least 10 times between 7 and 2, when he finally settled down well. I gave him every teething product under the sun as well.

[Leosmama]

Michelle, I didn't take it that way at all.  I think it's a very valid suggestion, and I would like to be able to implement it at some point.  In fact, it seems like the nighttime nursing is at least as disruptive as simply giving a cup of milk.  But I just know it'll take some getting used to on Leo's part.  I'm also sorry you had a bad night.  Teething really is the worst.  I think I almost prefer the stomach bug with vomiting and diarrhea, because at least with that there was only one night waking and then it was over!

I don't think the df works either, but if I wait for him to wake on his own, it's often too late then for him to go back to sleep.  I'm just going to have to get him to nap as much as possible and get him to bed early and hope he'll get caught up on his sleep sometime in this lifetime 

[Leosmama]

update:

he napped yesterday from 11:35-1:35!    He spent the rest of the afternoon happy, and went down super-easily at 6:20pm.

he woke up this morning at 4:10am.  I went in and nursed him for a while, then rocked him in the hopes of getting him sleepy again.  wasn't happening; he was wide awake and ready to start the day.  he was very happy and played well for about 4.5 hrs, when he started to get sleepy.  I put him down at 9:10am for a nap (I'm finding that he's simply not sleepy until he's been up for around 4.5-5.5 hrs). 

So now it's 10:30, and he's still napping!    Now I'm afraid, because the longer this nap is, the less chance of their being any afternoon nap.  I guess I could do a stroller catnap in the late afternoon.  But I really want to keep a consistent bedtime of around 6:30, and I don't want him to be totally overtired by then.  I think putting him down around 5:30 or so will just perpetuate these super early mornings.

Florencia, anyone, am I doing the right thing?  I know some may say to wake him after 45 min from the a.m. nap, but in all my experience with waking him from naps it's been a complete and total DISASTER.  I kind of feel like I need to just let him get his sleep whenever he can get it.

[aidenmc]

I am wondering if I have found the solution....Yesterday, Aiden woke at 4:30 after getting back to sleep at 3:30! Took awhile to get him to nap and he slept from 1:10 to 4:00 (with a wake up and nurse back to sleep). Last night I went out for a girls Christmas dinner and sleep over - yay me!

DH put him down at 7, he was asleep at 7:20 (no pre-bed nursing, just a snack as I was gone). He woke briefly at 4:30 chatting, put himself back to sleep and slept until 7:00 !

This has never happened! I think I need to wean him ASAP and really suspect that breastfeeding is the problem.

[Leosmama]

wow, that's really interesting!  So what do you think it is about breastfeeding that's contributing to the problem?  I thought that by not letting him fall asleep at the breast, I had done enough (we actually read a story after nursing).  Now i'm wondering if I should also try cutting out the bedtime feeding.  Keep me posted on how it goes the next few nights.

p.s. so he was awake from 4:30am until his nap at 1:10pm?  How did he manage that without going bonkers?

[aidenmc]

I think there were a bunch of things that may have caused him to go right through. Maybe because he had no feed before bed, he didn't think about it during the night. I know he almost always needs a burp after feeding and he is often gassy - maybe the feeding is the cause. Maybe he realized I wasn't there so didn't bother waking to see me (even though dh goes in if he wakes in the first part of the night). He had a better nap (although he was assisted through it) so was maybe better rested (he was asleep only 3hrs 20 mins after waking).

The funny thing is that with ds #1 I know when he started sleeping through the night (15 months !) was when I finally said "that's enough" to teh breastfeeding. He was going to bed without it at night but not for naps. After one nap when he would not be taken off the boob, I finally had had enough and put him in his crib where he cried for 1 hour (with me there of course). I knew that was it and that was the last feed he had. Very soon after he was sleeping through the night. I wonder if they just wake and want it if they know it is there to be had?

Today's nap was a bit funny. We got home a little later than normal. I was exhausted from my night out so decided to get him to sleep the usual way. He was drowsy but wouldn't fall asleep. So I put him in his bed and led on the floor. He was slowly getting more and more tired but kept stimulating himself with his crib toy etc. I feared he would just play through his nap and ds #1 was also waiting to decorate the Christmas tree. Anyway, I gothim up and finished the feed that he had started. He was asleep in about 3 minutes and slept from 2:20-4:00.

HOw did he get through from 4:30 to 1:10? Well, he was quite grumpy at about 8 am and I actually tried to give him a catnap, but he wouldn't. Then we went out for groceries and he was pretty grumpy and fussy. I tried to get him to nap by 12:30 but as I was feeding him he had to have a poop. That always disrupts everything and he seems to get a burst of energy afterwards! So I then put him in his crib and he played etc. for ages, until he cracked his head on the crib and I gave in and fed him. Yup, I know the nap time is that big challenge at this point.

Dh is putting him to bed now (7:10) and he is not happy about it at all. He is fascinated with all the Cristmas decorations we have put up. It may be too early for bed now, although it wasn't yesterday. We'll see! I will keep you posted.

Funny how things go though. Finally I get a night out after all these months and DH is ready to handle the nightwaking and early morning himself. He gets almost 12 hours out of him and I am exhausted after having stayed up half the night