wake to sleep grrrrr

[lilapple]

Can someone please explain to me why it is that when you do wake to sleep for naps why you can't disrupt their sleep pattern by making some little discreet noise in the room instead of going in and tugging at their blanket?  What does it matter how you disrupt their sleep pattern as long as it is disrupted at the right time??? Right now my lo has woken because when I stealthily snuck in to "disrupt her sleep pattern"  the stupid floor boards on the floor creaked under my bare feet and she shifted in her crib---the exact same way she does when I tug at her blanket and it works to extend her nap.  What the heck difference does it make?  It's sooooo frustrating!!!!

[smiletoday]

hi

I do not think it matters how you wake them but I am not sure. I have tried all different ways and nothing seems to work but you
have had success with the wake to sleep by just making her move and that works. Can you please give me some hints?

thanks 

[lilapple]

hi smiletoday
it's been tricky but here are some things that work (SOMETIMES)

watch your lo after you put him down and leave the room- (so leave the door ajar)--it has been important for us to know exactly when she falls asleep because then you calculate when to go in .  I have been going in at 25 min mark because she has been waking at 30 min.  Other moms may go in at 30 m in mark if they are dealing with 40 or 45 min naps.  I was reading where one poster was going in at 25 min mark even though they were trying to extend from 40 min naps and it was working.  be as quiet as you can when you go in ---i found I had to make sure all possible noise makers were taken care of so I oiled her squeaky door, etc  (in past sometimes I was not even able to make it into the room without waking her becasue the door would creak.)  Make sure you cannot be seen by lo if he should wake up.  Sneak up and tug the blanket, pajama pant, shirt, lovey, whatever----you want your lo to stir, meaning turn head the other way, or sigh deeply ( I think this has worked, the sighing, I can't remember)  my lo has even opened her eyes for a split second and this was fine.  You dont' want lo to become aware.  If lo does wake, leave the room as quietly as possible without letting him see you because he still may be able to put himself back to sleep, who knows?  Then leave the room quietly, like you came.  Sometimes this will take my lo to 45 min instead of 30 and sometimes to 1 hour and sometimes to 1 hour 15!  But sometimes even though I think i do everything "correctly" it doesn't work at all.  But for some reason I cannot figure out, if she does not stir by me tugging at blanket, whatever, if she stirs becasue of an unintentional noise I make, that's it.   Good luck !  (becuase when it comes down to it, it seems like that is really the guiding force here!)

[smiletoday]

So when you say stir you mean get him to move slightly. I have tried this and he moves but seems to wake anyway. I have tried to calculate the time and I am stirring him right before the jolt but it does not work. He takes 40 minute naps should I go in at 35 or 30. Thanks for your advice.

[lilapple]

The same has happened to me, that you do everything you are supposed to do but he wakes anyways.  I think then, maybe I didn't see exactly when she fell asleep, maybe her cycle isn't exact to the minute, who knows.  Maybe try at 25 minutes.  The person whose post I read said she did it then to extend a 40 min nap because she knew for sure that she would be in a deep sleep and it would be more difficult to wake her.  She said the sleep cycle is 20 min light sleep, then 20 min deep, so at 25 she would be in deep sleep.  So I think , why not 30, then it's more certain she's in deep sleep.  But actually my dd has woken at 30 and 35 min, so that too is risky.  I guess the thinking then would be that she was not able to enter the deep sleep phase so came up at 30.  Who knows?  i at one time was going in 2 times for the same nap.  Once at 25 to get her past the 30 and then at 35 to get her past the 40 but one time I forgot the second time and found that the 25 was enough.  Generally you go in 5 min before your los wake up time. YOu say you're stirring him right before the jolt.  Maybe you are too close to the jolt --try a little earlier, could be he's on his way up at that point and it's easier to wake him.  hope this helps

[smiletoday]

thanks
 

[*Natasha*]

I was successful in extending my DD PM nap with wake to sleep i went in at the 25 min mark and just touched her arm then got the hell out of their so she wouldn't see me and wake up. I tried doing it at the 30min mark but she woke up  Luckly i was able to get her baxk to sleep within 5 mins usung shh/patt.

[smiletoday]

I have tried to do it a couple times  and each time I have woken him up by accident. I tried to stay and watch but in the beginning he jolts a couple of times. How am I suppose to know which jolt is first ten minutes. I think I am going in at the right time but it is hard to calculate when he jolts twice in the beginning. Does this happen to anyone else??

[lilapple]

Yes, I was going to tell you before that I have a theory about my lo:  when she is really overtired, which is often I think  , her sleeping becomes more restless and fitful and maybe doesn't fit the classic pattern as much. She may toss and turn a bit more and it's kind of unpredictable as to when she is actually entering deep sleep and all the rest---maybe she stays in light sleep longer and doesn't really ever make it too deep?  Just my thinking.

[smiletoday]

HI ALL

Do you think if I just try to extend one nap and leave the others at 45 minutes that would be confusing to my lo. He is OK for some 45 minute naps, he wakes happy but for the mid morning nap he needs longer. i have not had success but it takes me about ten minutes to get him back down.

[lilapple]

Hi Smiletoday,  just wanted to say that I agree with Stacy---actually saw somewhere on this board that a moderator advised someone else to start working on one nap (am or pm) and then work on the other---I forget whose post it was---so I'm sure it will be fine.

[smiletoday]

SUCCESS 

I was able to extend his morning and afternoon nap by using a sound machine for white noise. Do you think that is OK? What I do is set the time for the sound to go off at the 35 minute mark and he slept another forty minutes for the first one and 20 for the second. I was so happy. Thanks for all your advice and encouragement. It is so nice to have this website.

Thanks

[lilapple]

yeah ! you're taking wake to sleep to a whole other dimension! excellent!