Need help with bf to sleep

[Emmas_mom]

Hi! I'm very new to this and could use a little, actually a lot of advice. I have 7 mo. old who will only sleep if she bf. I know I need to break this bad habit I created for her, but am having hard time. It's hard to follow the EASY plan and keep her on 4 hr. routine if I bf to sleep. Also, she wakes often at night. She was sleeping through the night with 1 night feed up until about 3.5 months. I need sleep desperately. I feel like such a bad mom for not teaching her how to self soothe. If I put her in crib she cries until she can't breathe. I've tried PU/PD only a couple of times so far, going as long as 3 hours and she doesn't let up with the crying. I eventually would bf to sleep. I have so much more to ask but I don't want to over do it with my first post. Thanks for your help in advance.

[Jaime]

hi there,

i have some thoughts & some things for you to read.

first, if you are truly ready for a change in the way your dd goes to sleep, and stays asleep, you need to make a decision to change, and then commit to keep it.  she is now 7 months old, and the only way she knows to sleep is by bf - because that is what she was taught.  not trying to make you feel angry or hurt, but trying to lay out all the facts.   :wink:   we can help you form a plan of action, but you need to be committed to seeing it through.  if you cave in (and feed her to sleep anyhow), it will make it that much longer and harder to change your lo's behavior. 

you can expect her to cry at first.  she doesn't realize that you are changing the rules.  but you will be there to help her through this and with your consistency and persistance, she will start to get it.  you will likely see some success, and then she will regress.  regrettably, this is normal.  again, though, persistance & consistency will pay off in the long run.  no, it won't happen overnight - after all, it took you 7 months to get here.  but it can change.

now, all that being said, here are some things you can read to help you form a plan of action.  some are longer but well worth the read.

http://www.babywhisperer.com/forum/a-special-sleep-interview-with-tracy-hogg-vt451.html

http://www.babywhisperer.com/forum/gradual-weaning-process-recommended-for-young-infant-vt2361.html
(really just to give you more ideas, since your lo is older than 6 months)

http://www.babywhisperer.com/forum/p-u-p-d-for-3-month-old-info-from-consult-with-tracy-vt9278.html

good luck & post back if you have more questions   

[Daft Ada]

I have a 7mo DS and up until about 2 weeks ago was being nursed to sleep. My problem wasn't getting him off to sleep, he was waking up 5+ times during the course of the evening and O/H and myself were having to pick him up and cuddle him back to sleep again.

DS and I went to see the Health Visitor at our sleep clinic and she basically said what we had to do was keep DS awake during the last feed and then *put him down in his cot awake*. If he cried we would have to implement the 5 minute checking system whereby you go in and check on him after every 5 minutes that he's crying. I use a kitchen timer to help. When we go back in, we have to avoid eye contact and any interaction and we put our hand on his back/tummy and gently-but-assertively say "sssh, sleep now" a few times and then leave the room again (for another 5 minutes).

For some families it works within a few days (I've had the testimonials), I'm on about day 10 and although we've had some nights where it's been better - we're still battling it.

*** the key here is to keep LO awake during the last feed. This bit we HAVE cracked and DS does go straight to sleep (our problem is the intermittent waking!), so you might be luckier than us!***

I can't say whether it will or won't work for you guys, cos it can be gut-wrenchingly hard, but I thought I'd post it in case (like me) you're at the end of your tether and don't know what else to try.

HTH and good luck

Lara
xxx

[Jaime]

hi Lara,

just wanted to make a couple comments about your post...

i like your advice about keeping the lo awake during the last feed - it is important to help break that habit of feeding to sleep.

however, what your Health Visitor has advised you to do can be referred to as controlled crying (CC).  Tracy believed that leaving a baby to cry broke trust between child & parent, and that there were much better methods available to soothe the child.  since it is her website, we don't advocate any form of crying it out. 

just wanted to make sure you're aware, since you are also a new user here (welcome, by the way!)  there are lots of tips in the links i listed above if you are still looking for ideas.   

[Emmas_mom]

I wanted to reply to you all and thank you for your input ( I hope I'm replying the right way).  It's reassuring to know that this message board is here with so many moms out there.  I know you'll hear from me again.  Thanks!!!