14mo sleep problems after week of Excitement!

[Vivismomma]

Hello Everyone,

I'm beginning to be concerned over a few recent changes to DD's nighttime sleep patterns.  First of all, she has never been a good night sleeper- only having slept straight thru (11-12hrs) a handful of times.  However, we were on a roll until several months ago when she started getting her first molar.  After that eased up, she had an allergic reaction to some pasta (a week ago, Monday), and we spent a week of digestive problems waking/keeping her up.  Then, as that problem was ebbing, the Week of Excitement began because my brother got married this last weekend, and all three sets of grandparents descended on us. 

During last week, in which my mom and step-dad were staying with us, we tried to have as normal a schedule as possible, and did fairly well.  But, we had more frequent than normal night-wakings.  Friday and Saturday (the rehearsal and wedding days) she was up much past her bedtime, and was put to bed by my in-laws.  Those nights, she was sooo exhausted, she only had one night waking around 11, and slept through after that until about 6am.

The last set of grandparents left on Tuesday, and I have been home with her all day Tues, Wed, and today- but her nighttime sleep has been horrible.  Also, her naps- with the exception of today's 3 hour nap- have been much shorter than normal.  I know she's over-exhausted, but early bedtimes have not been helping!

Here's Vienna's "normal" schedule:
6am Awake
1030- 1230 Nap (sometimes up to 3 hours long)
6-700pm Asleep

Of course, the wakeup time can vary anywhere between 530 and 7, and we shoot for bedtime 12 hours later.
She used to be very good about being put to bed after a little bit of bottle, books, and a lullabye.  She'd roll over and cuddle her blankie and stuffed frog, and go right to sleep without a peep.  But NOW....

Her schedule the last few days:
5/530 Awake
8/930 COMPLETELY exhausted, Nap- lasting 1.5-2 hours
1230/2 Second nap attempt, usually no luck
5/530pm put down to bed
630/730 finally asleep

She has gone from sleeping 11-12 hours a night, albeit brokenly, to only getting 10-11 hours with up to 4 wakings in the night.  She usually has a few sips from the bottle at each waking- up to 2-3 oz- but then normally goes right back to sleep.  Recently, she goes back to her crib easily, but cries out after 10 min or so for one of us to come back.  It now takes 30-45 min to get her back to sleep, where it used to take 15 min, max.
Getting her to sleep has also become much more involved.  She started having some sep. anxiety awhile back, and I started the gradual removal, but now I'm still either next to her crib, or a mere 4ft from it.  I've tried PD, but she laughs and comes back for more!  If I just lie next to her crib, she throws her animals and blankie down to me, then screams if i don't give them back.
I've given up the last few days- mainly out of hunger (I'm also 7mo pregnant and get VERY hungry waiting for her to go to bed- whether I have a snack beforehand or not...) and DH has taken over.  He just lays down next to her crib and ignores her.  After a period of time of babbling and playing in her crib, she gets up and screams, signing "milk".  He takes her out of the crib, gives her a little bit more bottle, tells her it's time for sleep, and she settles right in.  He doesn't even stay to see her to sleep.

So, to make a long story, well, long... My main questions are as follows:
How long can I expect for her to take to getting back on track after the week of disruption?
How do we stop the throwing the stuff on the floor?  She even does it when she wakes up for the day...
Any ideas on how to get her to stop thinking of me in her room as playtime?  I try to be as boring as possible.
Because she resists a second nap (she's been on one nap for several months now...), how can I push her one nap to a reasonable time, if she's getting up soooo early?
And I guess most importantly, Is it "just a matter of time?"

Thanks in advance!
Shauna

[Florencia]

Hi Shauna!

It has been a rough month for both of you and I would expect a couple of weeks with consitancy before it gets better (the illness, the excitement, the overtiredness, the sep anxiety and the possible appeareance of molars - you don't mention about them but i would sneak on her gums and see if there's any sign of them-) it is all playing a role here.

Since gradual withdrawal and pd is not working I would suggest you start trying wi/wo. The technique is described thoroughly in Henrysmama thread about Independent Sleep in the Faq's section. That way she'll get the point that you're not in her room for playing and will give you a chance to grab a bite of food each time you walk out and that way you'll get through the method without having to abandon in the middle of the training. It is very important that both you and your husband are devoted to it because if you're doing it for one night and in the middle of it your husband takes charge and gives milk to her, there's no point and you'll be just sending mixed info about the "right" way to go to sleep.

If throwing things is an issue and is wounding her up, I'd leave her crib plain simple, just a blankie and her stuffed frog and that's it. Also if there's a changing table or something that's on her reach, pull that away  also, so all distractions are far away from her sight.

I would tend to think that since she's already used to one nap a day and her nap is early in the morning, she's going to bed overtired and that is also a part of the problem settling down at bedtime. By all means, try to push the nap later, she might be extra cranky the first couple of days but hopefully she'll get used to have a late nap and hence, fix her schedule back. If she's wanting to nap at 8 the days she wakes early, try to offer a 10-20 mins catnap instead (in the car or stroller) and wake her from it and then try to put her down again at 1230 or 1 pm when she'll hopefully be tired enough to go down without a fuss and then, sleep for 2 hours and making an acceptable bedtime without being overtired. This is a tricky thing, cause she could get so overtired that she might not sleep well for her nap either and be extra cranky for the night and the overtired circle might get worse so you'll have to watch her closely and choose whatever suits you best, that is offering a short catnap in the early morning and try for a long nap around noon till you get rid of the catnap or trying to push the morning nap later in the morning in 15 mins increments.

Aditionally, it might be of use to offer some pain meds before bed just in case she has some molars popping out that are helping her from relaxing at bedtime and make super earlyb edtime ind ays she naps early or has bad naps, to provide her the opportunity to sleep and make up for lost sleep during ths period.

I hope i made some sense and be sure to come back and post about your progress/doubts. Good luck!

[Vivismomma]

Thanks so much- I was wondering if we might be a good candidate for wi/wo... I'll talk it over with DH.  I think a big problem for us has been consistancy, and I know it might be the reason we don't have a better sleeper:)  It's something we definitely need to improve on.

I'm positive she is overtired- I forgot to mention that she's been waking up at night and occassionally staying up for up to two hours- wired.  Last night she slept from 630 (I put her in her crib at 5:10) then woke at 10, and didn't go back to sleep until 12am.  She slept til 4, had a quick wakeup, put down, then slept another two hours.  She's getting such disjointed sleep, there's no doubt it's overtiredness.

Thanks again, and I hope your advice helps!
Shauna

[Vivismomma]

Florencia,

First of all, last night was horrible I saw Every hour of the night last night, and she was up at 530, ready to start the day.  But, for some reason, she lasted all the way until 1000am for her nap, and slept until 1245. Yay!  She ate really well through the day, and didn't seem the least bit overtired for bedtime tonight.  We aimed for 630, but she didn't settle until 715 or so.

I talked a bit with my husband, and we are wondering if wi/wo might be too overstimulating.  Right now it seems that she just wants someone in the room- and it just happens that daddy's better at it than me.  She doesn't cry, and tonight she didn't even ask for the bottle again after being put into her crib. 

I definitely think this is an eating issue as well- I'm trying to come up with a concise post for the eating boards as you suggested in your first set of posts to me a few weeks ago.  Tonight we tried something that was posted on another topic on a toddler waking due to hunger- which was definitely the case the last few nights. We gave her about 1/3 cup of cottage cheese RIGHT before book and bottle and bed. She ate the whole thing.  And this was a mere 30-40 min after dinner.  Do you think this could be a growth spurt (on top of everything else!)?

Anyway, DH has been leaving the room before she is even fully asleep, and she settles and go to sleep by herself.  So that really isn't an issue, I don't think.  It's the night wakings...  Ahh, hunger? Overtired? Habit? Manipulation? I wish i could figure it out...

Well, I'll post on the Eating for Toddler's board, and see what to do about the bottles and such...
Hopefully tonight will go better
S

[Florencia]

Shauna,

This could very well be due hunger related. I hope you managed to figure out a new eating schedule in the eating forums. If you find wi/wo too stimulating, we could try a gentle removal approach. I hope Sunday night went better. Let me know!

[imsmum]

shauna

One thing that struck me about was your schedule.  I know she is an early waker but 10:30 is awfully early for the one nap of the day, even if it is 3 hours long!  Even is she wakes at 6 there is only 4.5 hours of awake time before the nap and about 5 after.  Most lo's seem to do better with a longer am wake time or else they are overtired from having too long an a time between nap and bed.  This makes them overtired with losts of night waking.  When my dd switched to one nap she had a lot of night wakings ( well, like your lo, whe was never a good sleeper and had lots of nightwakings before then too ) but things were really helped when I shortened that afternap A time through a combination of pushing back the nap and an early bedtime.  Since your lo may already be going down for the night at 6 you likely don't want to make that any earlier but I would push the nap back in 15 minute increments.  I think most sleep experts suggest no more than 5 hours between nap wakeup and sleeptime although with my dd her "magicnumber" seemed to be 5.5.  When I did this my dd who had never slept through finally started too.  It was usually 10 hours but it was 10 hours of solid uninterrupted sleep which was all she seemed to need.  Good luck!

[Vivismomma]

Thank you-

I am trying to push it back, and of course, the day I want to start, she wakes for the day at 5am!  So now she's had her nap, and she woke up at 11:10, exactly two hours after she went down.  So, it will be another loooong afternoon waketime.  I'll try to get her to bed a little earlier than 6- or at least I'll try.  It's been taking more than an hour to get her down to actual sleep, lately.

Florencia, I did wi /wo last night (after my DH botched attempt at gradual removal) and it only took 20 minutes.  I'm not going to do it yet with the night wakings until we've figured out the night bottle situation.  But the good news is after a couple wakings between 10 and 1, she slept through for four hours!  Four hours is a start IMO!

Thanks for all of your advice, now it's just putting itinto action!
S