Need Help for Very Overtired Baby!

[Mom2katiebug]

DH, DD and I are all exhausted.  A few days ago, our 9WO DD forced sleep training upon us when the "magical" swing lost its ability to lull her to dreamland.  So, we started pat (the shush wasn't helping much, but we use white noise).  And, the putting her down to sleep part is going well - we're on Day #3.  But, the poor thing just can't nap for more than 30-40 minutes.  Her nighttime sleep is good from 7ppm to 1am, then VERY broken afterwards.  She'll wake every 30 - 60 minutes needing patting to get back to sleep.  Sometimes just a little; sometimes an hour or more.  I'm sleeping on the floor next to her crib so I can get to her before her she wakes too much and needs an hour of comfort.  I feed her around 4am, but it's a small feed. 

I really think that this is all related to her naps and never getting fully caught up on her sleep.  When the magical swing would lull her to sleep, she was an angel/textbook baby.  I'd have to wake her from her naps and she'd only wake up 1-2 times per night.  Now grouchy doesn't even begin to cover it!   :evil:

We are really trying to stay on course, but it's hard on us and even harder on her when she gets so overtired.   Does anyone have any suggestions on what we can do to help her through this?  We are desperate and ready to resort to anything to get her caught up on her sleep.   :shock:

Oh, and Happy Holidays!

[Katet]

Just want to check here ...if your dd is 9 weeks old & you are giving her a feed at 7pm... do you feed here when she wakes around 1am?? Because if not I think that may be part of the problem... a 6 hour stretch is fantastic for a 9 week old, getting her to wait until 4am is something I only got my ds to do regularly at ds#2 at 6months old.
 At 9 weeks old my ds#1 would only go 3 hours between feeds & that was still considered normal.

Just my thought.

[Mom2katiebug]

Thank you for the quick reply.  As I said, we are so desperate.  We feed her at bedtime around 7pm and then she does go through to 4am.  Like I said, during the "magical swing" days, she settled on a 4am feed.  There were days (weeks ago) when she would need a feed at 1am, but it kept getting smaller and smaller with the 4am feed being closer to normal, but still small.  When it got to 1 oz., we dropped it altogether. I'll try it again tonight.  But, even with out the 1am feed, the 4am is still small. 

Do you have any thoughts on when she'll finally catch up on her sleep?  Like I said, we were thinking we'd be tackling this in January not over the holidays, so it caught us off-guard.  Everything I've read for a baby her age mentions 3 days, so I thought we'd start to see some relief today.  We're all just so exhausted and my poor DD cries so hard sometimes.  I just want to comfort her, but using the "right" techniques doesn't provide the relief.  And what will comfort her is Accidental Parenting.  It's heart-breaking!

[Gage and Sophie's Mom]

Oh I am sorry you are having a hard time. I know how you feel, i have been there countless times. Here are some things that help Gage.

1. Swaddle, swaddle, swaddle!

2. Sometimes I have laid him on his side and shh louder than his cry to get him to focus on something else (ie. his red cars on his bumper or light on the montior).

3. Sometimes, just gettting him up and starting all over again helps. Redoing the routine but in a much faster low key version. Even if he doesnt eat much just doing the routine helps. I have no idea why, but I guess he is so used to the way it is done and if something is out of order than it just doesnt sit right.

4. Sometimes I will get him out of the room and lay him somewhere for a whole body massage. This seems to relax him.

5. If you are really in bad shape.... *WARNING* This can lead to accidental parenting. Dont do it unless necessary. To get them to stop crying swaddle, lay in arms on their side or in a football hold and Jiggle. You may need to jiggle vigorsously, just make sure you lo's neck and head are supported. Then do the shh louder than their cry. This really helps it may take a few moments as their brains are little slower. I have had to do this several times for Gage.


Hth my laptop batterry is going dead

[Mom2katiebug]

Okay, is it AP if I start the sleep routine over when she wakes, and this includes some rocking/comforting (not much - maybe a minute or two at most, especially when she's tired), and her lullaby?  She goes to the crib, drowsy awake.

Her wind-down has everything:  swaddle, white noise, slow rock, lullaby and pacifier, but she always goes into the crib awake.  I'm such a clutz that I couldn't do the transition without waking her up.

[Mom2katiebug]

I don't know if it's progress, but we rocked her to sleep last night.  Just seemed cruel to do anything else.  DH gave her a feed at 12:30 (her schedule was honked up and her "bedtime" bottle would have been at 9pm.  She was sleeping so we opted to skip it and give her some more rest, knowing that we'd be up later.)  He said she was a little hard to get back down.  She was up at 2:30am and he resettled her.  Then I fed her at 3:30am.  She kept falling asleep, but I kept her awake to take somewhere close to a full feed.  At 4am, I put her back in her crib.  (BTW, is there some "Wake-Up" Force Field around that crib that I just don't know about?!?  Totally falling asleep while eating in my arms, the BOING..wide awake when she hits the crib sheets. Go figure!)  I found myself in that usual stance, patting with one hand, holding the legs with the other, saying "Just go to sleep!" in a not very nice voice.  Well, I finally realized that it wasn't working and she was not going to go to sleep.  So, I stopped and sat in the rocker.  She mucked around in her crib, talking a bit, doing a little kung-fu fighting with those legs and around 4:30a, she started sounding like she was trying to settle - but no crying yet.  Turns out we didn't have one bit of crying.  She did need some help keeping those little judo legs still and she dropped off to sleep around 5am.  I'm so proud of her - she didn't even need a single pat, although I gave her a few light ones anyway.  I sure hope this is progress!  Just when it seems darkest...

Does anyone have any ideas on how to help keep her legs still?  I tried to do the Aussie Swaddle yesterday, but it is tricky and Katie was crying so hard, I thought she was going to pop a blood vessel in her bright red little head.  I'll try it again if this will this help keep her legs still...

[lisas]

I have a 6 week old son who refused to sleep for the first 5 weeks.  I tried everything, accidental parenting stuff and the pat/shush.  Nothing was working and it appeared that he had major gas.  I went off dairy, elevated the head of his bed, you name it - I did it.  When I was just about off my rocker, after listening to him cry for almost 8 hours (minus feeding breaks) I decided to put him on his stomach for his nap.  I stayed and observed to see that he was strong enough to lift his head and guess what, he slept uninterrupted for 3 hours.  Ever since, he has slept incredibly.  I know that we are encouraged not to put little ones on their stomachs but clearly, my little one is much happier and so is his family.  I went from dreading each day of crying to enjoying Zachary way more.  It worked for us.  I still have to pat and shush when I put him down put it is 5 -1  minutes compared to hours of screaming.  Sometimes, he just goes to sleep on his own.

Lisa

[Mom2katiebug]

Lisa - Katie HATES tummytime, but I've often wondered if this would help her.  I may try it next time she's "fiesty".  We are cautious parents and opted for the AngelCare Baby Monitor that has the motion detector, so I would be less concerned about SIDS.  Also, at 9 weeks Katie can lift and turn her head so the suffocation risk is less.

[Mom2katiebug]

Thank you all for your feedback and support.  We are still exhausted and when the day began, thought we were in for Day #4 of the Screaming Banshee (sorry to any banshees that may be offended!).  But, my DH really wanted Katie to "participate" in the opening of Christmas presents - I thought "what's the point of making the entire family hear her scream?" but he insisted.  Glad he did, because she was a peach.   :shock:  She did get tired and nod off in her bouncy chair (never done that before and we won't do it again - don't worry about AP!) She had several short naps, but woke happy and smiling at everyone.  You could have knocked me over with a feather!  I think our families think we're nuts and lying about the past 4 days.  Or, we may pay dearly tonight!  :shock:

There are a couple of other things that occurred to us late last night that have changed during this same time.  First, we started giving DD prune juice for some painful poop issues she was having and we had cut out one overnight feeding because for several days during the prior week, she was only taking an ounce or so at each one, so we consolidated them.  Well, last night we gave her an extra feeding (thanks, Katet) and were VERY diligent about getting her to eat close a full feed at each one she ate 27 ounces yesterday which is an all-time record for her!  We had been struggling to get 20-24 in her.  I feel so INCREDIBLY guilty - like I was starving her.   :oops:   :cry:  :oops: She's eaten 22 ounces today by bedtime with 2 overnight feeds still on the schedule.  How could I be such a bad mommy?!?  We also stopped the prunce juice this morning.  So, something clearly worked today, but I'm not sure what and I'm not really willing to go back and try to figure it out.  Although now we need to find another solution to the tummy/poop issues...but heck, the prune juice wasn't really working anyway.

We are still having short naps, but since she's not waking up cranky, I can deal with it.  We may get up and go back down or just have some quiet awake/restful time instead of one continuous full nap.  And, I really can't believe that an occaisional cuddle nap with mom or dad can really be that bad - as long as it doesn't become a habit.

[KellyC]

I agree with everything you said in that last paragraph!  I was making myself ill at various stages in Zander's sleep training, even thought I may have PND and considered going to see my doctor.  I gave myself a good talking to and now try to be more chilled out and I'm sure Zander is more chilled out now too because I'm less stressed!  I have to say there was one particular week which was very bad and I actually wanted to use AP - but the sleep training was still in Zander's brain and he would have none of it!  Before I had time to give up he made some progress and things got better, or at least different!  It's taken a month to get to a stage where I'm really pleased with him (sleep wise!) - going down for most naps and bedtime independently and extending some (but not all!) naps.  Usually if he has a short nap now he can still get up and be happy for an hour or so before his next nap.  Today I got him up and he was still so tired that he cried his heart out and wouldn't open his eyes, so he went straight back to bed!  It does get better and Katie will be absorbing everything you're teaching her and will surprise you one day soon by showing you that she understands!  We had a bad nap on Christmas Day evening and I told DH to cuddle Zander to sleep but he just wouldn't stop crying.  Eventually I went up there and simply laid him in his bed (Zander not DH!) and he instantly stopped crying and went to sleep.  He definitely knows where he's supposed to go to sleep now!

Good luck and I hope things improve soon.  Your LO is still so young and will get it soon, when she's ready 

Kelly x