weaning my 2 year old from the breast

[Abbie]

I need help weaning my 2 year old! He nurses to go to sleep at nap and at night.  Then wakes up all night long to nurse! He barely eats anything during the day, wonīt swallow unless the food is totally pureed and even then is very picky about what he eats. He refuses to drink milk no matter what I do.
So I think that if I wean him from the breast itīll help his eating situation.  Iīm worried though that heīll lose weight.  The doctor has already told me that he needs to start gaining.
Any tips? He gets very upset when I donīt nurse him when he asks.
Should I do everything at once...move him  to his bed (he sleeps in our bed) in his own room and wean him?
How do I go about the weaning process?
Please help!!!

Thanks Abbie

[Samuel's mum]

Can I be super boring and suggest that you get some specialist help on this one. You sound anxious and you need more information. I would personally would ask for a referral to a nutritionalist or get in contact with one privately. Not because I think your problem is particularly scary but just because you need suggestion on how to encourage him to eat unpureed food and you need to know what his requirements are.
What happens when you forget about spoons entirely and offer finger foods - pieces of fruit and vegetables, chunks of cheese etc? What does he eat?

I know from personal experience that it's possible for a 2 year old to still nurse and eat a full age appropriate diet so the two things don't go together. Obviously you don't want to reduce his milk intake but then have it replaced with nothing so ideally increasing his solids intake would happen gradually alongside his reduction in milk.

I wouldn't do everything at once. It sounds as though he's relying on the breast as a sleep prop and has quite a powerful nursing to sleep association. He needs to learn how to transition between sleep cycles without the breast and I think something called the gentle removal plan would be very useful. Infact I've just responded to a post which is about a much younger baby but many of the points apply here too:
https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=95047.0

The writer I mentioned, Elizabeth Pantley, also wrote a book for toddlers 'The No-Cry Sleep solution for toddlers' and her ideas fit nicely with Tracy's ideas and often overlap. Pantley talks about co-sleeping as well and how to wean from that.

I would suggest a first step is to use the gentle removal plan and also try hard to reduce the amount of calories he takes in the night (not reduce to nothing but just reduce) and hopefully he'll be more motivated to take other foods in the day.

Refusing to drink other kinds of milk at his age is not actually that unusual. Your nutritionalist can advise you about how to substitute using other calcium rich and dairy foods. Or you could try and make fruit smoothies that contain milk or yoghurt.

You might find some of the information on these pages interesting:
http://www.kellymom.com/bf/bfextended/ebf-benefits.html (nutritional value of nursing in your situation)
http://www.kellymom.com/nutrition/solids/toddler-foods.html (focuses on solids and the nursing toddler).

[Abbie]

thanks for your suggestions. When I do give him finger food heīll chew it up then spit it out.  Sometimes itīs really well chewed and he could have swallowed it.  When he was a baby and I started solids with him, if there was a piece that was bigger th

[Abbie]

than mush he would throw up.  Now Iīm worried that heīs scared of throwing up and thatīs why he doesnīt swallow.
I have asked the doctor if there is anything wrong with his throat, and he said thereīs nothing wrong with him. 
Doc also said that if I do wean him heīll start eating more.  I hope thatīs true.

[Samuel's mum]

I think a reduction in milk should mean an increase in other calories - but he might just want more puree. I really would suggest you try and speak to a specialist. There might not be a physical reason why he isn't swallowing but a specialist can support you in making the transition and give you a lot of advice a GP doctor will not be qualified to give you. If it's about fear and emotions there will be a way to approach it.