two patterns for night waking

[liberty]

Hello this is my first post I wondered if anyone had any advice for me , my LO is 3.5 months old and BF we have been on a 3 hour E.A.S.Y for almost a month and things are going quite well it has really worked in the daytime ( as long as I can work naps around my errands otherwise it can go wrong and naps go back to 40 mins) and a typical day goes like this
Awke at 7am
E 715
A until approx 8am
S approx 815

Sleep for up to 2 hours

E 10-1015
A until 11
S 1115

Sleep for up to 1 1/2 hrs

E 1 ish
A until 2
S 215

depending on how long previous naps were this may only be a 45 min nap

E 4pm
A until 515
S 515 -545 ish

Bath, feed and asleep for 7-730

This is a good day and times vary and naps are not always that good if I have to go out for example  LO does not sleep well unless in cot.
My question is about what happens after bedtime, I do not do the dream feed I tried it for a week and I found it hard as i typically go to bed early around 9.30 10 and my LO woke again at 3 anyway so it meant I was waking twice in night rather than once !!
.My LO has two disticnt patterns she will either go through until 2-3 am feed and go staight back to sleep until 6 -6.30 or she wakes at 10.30-11.30 feeds and then wakes up at 3-4 feeds again and sleeps till 7am. My problem is that if she goes through until 2-3 i think she is genuinely hungry but if she wakes and feeds around 1030 I dont think it is hunger thats waking her again at 3-4 she usually needs anappy change but if we try and do that and then put her back down she crys and gets very upset and when i then feed her she would take a lot and then she is not very hungry at 7.
I would ideally like to drop the middle of the night feed as i go back to work soon and would introduce dream feed again if it worked. I know she is capable of seven hours in a row as she will go 7-2 some nights.
Really sorry to go on but i am trying to get all facts down .
Thanks 

[momofclaire]

Your sch looks pretty good to be honest.  Have you considered moving to a 3.5 hour easy as she might be ready. 
What happens if you don't feed her at the 10:30 wake?  Can you pat shh her back to sleep?  It could be that some nights she is genuinly hungry twice, so I wouldn't rule that out.

[liberty]

Thank you for replying,to be honest i have not tried to get her back to sleep at the 1030 wake up as i have been hoping the extra feed may see her through the night till 6 ish, i have wondered whether i should be trying ssh/pat at the later wake up though but i am never confident that it is not hunger as i find her clues much harder to read in the night.
I think you are right about the 3.5 easy being the way to go as she doesnt feed for longer than 10 minutes usually in the day and i think that would improve if i could push her longer,the problem is she struggles to stay awake much longer than 11/4 hrs.
Do you think i should try and extend her activity time even if her clues(eye rubs etc) are telling me she needs a nap ?
thanks again for your help

[momofclaire]

When Claie was that age, I shh/pat her through her first wake and then she woke at 2-3 every night for a feed and then slept till 7. 

I would maybe try to extend A time but do it slowly, like 5 min at a time.  Certainly watch for signs as you don't want an overtired baby. Really you are doing great, I know you are itching to get a night of uninterupted sleep but don't push her before she's ready.  If I had to guess, you won't be doing it much longer as she seems to be doing really well. 
Oh, keep in mind that the occasional growth spurt can cause her to need a night feed even after she has done without.

[liberty]

Thanks again !  it has really reassured me that i am actually doing ok and she will get there eventually !!
Well last night just to confuse me again she woke as usual at 10.30 took a full feed both sides then woke again butthis time a good hour earlier at 2am  and just seemed to be cooing and babbling so i left her to see what she did and she was fine for about 10mins then it turned into a cry,my husband went to see if he could calm her ,she was very wet and had done a poo so he changed and ssh/pat she calmed for a few moments but then cried again and this time it did sound like hunger and i fed her she gulped it down ! but i didnt offer her both sides as i am sure it has an impact on what she eats in the day. At the moment it seems as though the best feeds she has are at 1030 and 3am ! and if i could make the feeds better in the day we might get some more sleep.

I think sometimes i listen to much to other people who tell me that their LOs have been sleeping through since much earlier than mine and it makes me question whether I should or could be doing things differently,but as you say I shouldnt push her till she is ready.
  

[momofclaire]

Try to up her daytime calories for a week and see how she does.  Do you cluster feed in the evening? Doing so is a good way to really fill her tummy before bed.  If you have questions about that post back.  ,

I do know one thing for sure.  I have only been a mom for 18 months but the hardest thing (for me ) is always the people who want to compare what my child does to theirs and being worried about what people think of my parenting.     Listen more to yourself and your child.  The more you really pay attention to her cues the better the two of you will "communicate," and that will help you the most. 
Good luck and keep me posted.

[liberty]

thanks so much for the advice i am going to really try and fill her up more before bed and we will see how it goes ! 
And i am definatly going to try and enjoy my beautiful daughter more and stop worrying so much,its just the bottle refusing to tackle now but thats a whole other story !!!!!!

[momofclaire]

Keep me posted and certainly enjoy her.