Hi,
I’m in need of some help with my nearly 14 month old spirited son (very active, walking at 8 months old, showing "tantrums" (stamping feet & crying) at 10 months).
The last couple of months the progression to his bedroom for bedtime has got more fraught, in that my ds has ended up screaming on occasions and really fighting going to bed although he is tired. Once he is in his cot he usually takes approx 10 mins to get off to sleep apart from when really fraught he naturally takes longer.
We have had a routine since about 5 months old and had our hiccups along the way. Our ds was seriously ill on holiday in France and had emergency surgery when 9 months old and again seriously ill with same problem at 10 months old but problem was rectified within 24 hours in hospital. After that incident he started to show signs of separation anxiety. I then had to return to work 2 days a week at 11months old and he and I were both upset initially but he soon adapted and once he was at nursery and I or my husband had left he settled usually within in a few minutes once distracted and all reports are that he has a happy day.
Since starting nursery however he also has been ill on and off with ear infections, chest infection and colds. I have got into accidental parenting and given him the dummy and recently holding his hand to sleep. It appears the more I give the more he wants. Initially the dummy was enough for him to settle but then after a while he needed more when he was ill and I gave him more comfort but then he always wanted that. I feel stuck and want to wean myself off as I’m going crazy as missing out on going out incase he wakes up as don’t think he’ll settle with anyone else. It’s really getting me down.
Our present routine is as follows:
5.00 waking aaagh!!! ( another thing that we’d like to be later - he grumbles/cries on and off in cot)
6.00-6.30 gets up and goes downstairs for cup of milk
7.30-8.00 breakfast
10.00-10.30 nap usually 1.5 hours. If only 40 mins then has pm nap too.
12.00-1.00 lunch time
3.00 snack and small cup of milk
4.45 tea
6.15 bath, bottle of milk and bed, usually asleep by 7.00 at latest.
When he is well he does usually sleep through the night.
I’d really like some help on heading towards bed. Any clues on what we are doing wrong? We used to have a story always before bed but now he is too upset to even consider it.
I saw somebody talk about the walk in/ walk out method. How does that work and do you think it would be appropriate. I would like to discontinue the dummy as he used to always sleep without it. Should I do it all together or one thing at a time or is that for me to figure out???!!
Any ideas for the early waking aswell? We tried Wake to sleep a while ago unsuccessfully – are there alternatives?
Many thanks!