Wake to sleep for 45 minute naps/how?

[Sarahboh]

Hello, the 45 minute nap monster has been visiting for a few weeks to my 14wo. I am sick of them! I am not trying PU/PD before 4 months, shh/pat does not work to get her back to sleep. Can I try the wake to sleep for naps, should I just go in and lightly stroke her then leave? At what time to go in since I leave the room when I place her in her crib, I have no idea when she is drifting away to sleep. Please help I am at my wits end. Sarah

[Lucysmom]

Hi Sarah -

Sorry you are dealing with these 45 minute naps.  It is unfortunately very common for 3-6 month olds and it does get better!  I swear it is some strange rite of passage for moms!  Like the baby is saying, "Hey, you thought you were getting the hang of this mothering thing....well not so fast mama!" 

Anyway, what I do with Lucy is watch the clock and try to note the time when it goes completely quiet in her room.  Then I sneak into her room 35-40 minutes later and put my arm/hand on her legs and then wait for the jolt.  Sometimes I am there for a long while waiting for it as I miscalculated when she fell asleep, but being there for the jolt and having her go back into another sleep cycle makes it worth it.  So really I am just guessing about when to go in.  It may take a few days of trial and error so don't beat yourself up if you find you are going in too late or whatever. 

Also, another thing you can do to extend naps is to just put your hand on your baby.  Sometimes the feeling of light pressure on them is enough to send them back to sleep without waking fully.  With Lucy when she wakes early her legs start moving so I gently apply pressure to her legs to stop them from moving about.  It took some time to figure out that this worked for her and I had to stand there and observe what was happening at 45 minutes.  So maybe that would be a good idea.

You may also want to post your daily routine as maybe it needs some tweaking and that will help with the naps. 

I hope this helps a bit...There are soooooo many ladies who have dealt with these 45 minute naps and survived so you will make it through - I promise!  It is soooooo frustrating I know.  It was really hard on me when Lucy was doing the short naps but she did finally consolidate her naps when she was almost 5 months.  Now they are back for what I hope is a short visit but I am working on remedying the situation. 

Hugs to you and you are doing a great job!!!!!  Let us know how you get on and feel free to vent anytime!

[Lukie's Mom]

hi sarah,
my baby is 3 months old today ... i read about this about a month ago; it seems to be common as they go thru these funny sleep patterns in the beginning because they are such light sleepers.....just wanted to mention that i also go thru the same thing; especially in the morning as he seems to have a shorter nap... sometimes i hear him and he is cooing other times he wakes up a little more abrubtly, i go into his room quietly and offer him his pacifer and caress his forehead a few seconds then leave the room; sometimes i can hear him again after about 5 minutes which i then assume he's had enough so i pick him up and sometimes i don't hear him and he goes down for another half hour or so.
a few tips; my baby's room is dark for naps and bedtime (no nightlights)  and when i go into see him i keep the talking to a minimum if at all ... good luck.

[Sarahboh]

what do you think of the routine, I am finding it works for her but I am wondering as we quickly approach 4 months, do I need to tweak it?

7-7:30am wake up and feed
8:30am nap (sometimes 45, sometime 1hour, sometimes 2hours)
10-10:30am feed
11:30-11:45 nap (same as above, not consistent with length)
1-1:30 feed
2:30-2:45 nap (most of the times it is just 1 hour or 45 minutes)
4-4:30 feed
5:00-5:15 catnap
5:50 feed
6:10+ bath, hairwash, change, etc
6:30 feed

No df as I was finding she was waking more. Most of the time she will sleep through or wake once for a feed.

Another question I really need answered. Occasionally she will wake at 6 or 6:30 am, at these times I go in, feed her and put her right back to bed, is that okay? Or should I be getting her up for the day. She always goes back to sleep no problem, usually then I will let her sleep until 7:45-8am.

Please let me know what you think. Thank you so much for the support!
Sarah

[Lucysmom]

Sarah - So from your routine it looks like you are keeping her activity time at about 1.5 hours, right?  That seems about right for a 3 month old.  How long has she been at 1.5 hours and when did the short naps start? 

You know I really am not sure about putting her back down after she eats at around 6.  Never had that situation so I can't help there really.  I know that people try to get their babies up at the same time each day in order to set their biological clock/circadian rhythmn but I honestly never did that....  Sorry I can't help here...

Let me know about the other things I asked about and maybe we can put a plan together.

[Sarahboh]

I wish I could keep her up for 1.5 hours. Usually an 1.0 to 1.15 hours at max. Am I reading her signals wrong and putting her down too early?? My problem is when I go into her room she automatically starts pushing at me and wanting to be put into her crib where she becomes quiet, calm and chews on her fingers. I leave as I figure she is going to sleep, I am not sure though and always within 1 hour exact she is crying (almost to the minute) so I figure it is taking 15 minutes to get to sleep then she is sleeping for about 45 minutes. I have tried keeping her up outside her room not doing too much but she looks pretty sleepy but not complaining. Oh please help me, I am so confused!!! Do I keep her up longer to get a better/longer nap or do I keep it short to prevent overtiredness. PLEASE HELP ME!

[Lucysmom]

Hi Sarah -

I am sorry I lost track of your post with the changes to this message board.  I have had trouble logging on.  Very frustrating but I hope things have finally settled down.  I did not realize how completely lost I would feel without this site! 

My initial thought is that maybe you want to increase her activity time really gradually and see if that helps.  So if she seems tired after an hour and fifteen minutes, keep her up 10 more minutes or 15 if you think she can handle it.  Keep the activity during this time really low key so as not to overstimulate her.  You could use these extra minutes to just walk around the house carrying her and looking out the windows or looking at pictures on the wall.  Or on the ground playing with a soft toy.  Do your wind down as usual and put her down.  If you can, it might be a good idea to see if you can spy on her to see when she falls asleep.  Then you can really get a sense of when she might wake up (45 minutes or an hour later) and then do wake to sleep accordingly for the next naps.  But hopefully extending her activity time will help with her naps.  It is really difficult to know what to do and I completely understand how frustrating it is.

You should really congratulate yourself on having such a young baby that already can fall asleep independently.  That is quite an accomplishment (I did not get there until 4 months and it was only because dh did CIO with her without my knowledge and strangely it worked although I am not an advocate of it).  I don't know if I have helped at all but please feel free to post any more questions or just vent.  How are you doing otherwise?  You sound like I did when my dd was that age, and it was not a great time in my life.  I was so stressed out and consumed by her sleep habits (I still am to a certain degree).  You are doing a great job and that is measured in your little one's smiles and not in the length of their naps (I have to tell myself that all the time).

Take care of yourself and I am eager to hear how you are doing.