2 week old fights sleep all day!!

[melloyello]

Hi there,

I am hoping for some advice concerning my DD who is 16 days old. She spent the first week of her life sleeping basically round the clock but in the last week has really started fighting sleep during the day. It can take me up to 1.5 hours to get her down, or sometimes she won't sleep at all and is awake until her next feeding. I feel like I have tried pretty much everything... bassinet, crib, swing, going for a walk/drive, wearing her in a sling, pacifier... the only thing I've had some success with is the sling and putting her in the bassinet with a pacifier, although I have to keep reinserting it as she spits it out until she is fully asleep. Both ways still take her forever to fall asleep and then she might only sleep for 30 minutes. She will nod off for a minute and then wake up so I know she is overtired. I have tried just feeding her, doing a diaper change and then right to sleep (about 20-30 min) but the short A time doesn't really seem to make a difference. If she does fall asleep it's usually 1.5-2 hours after she last woke, which is crazy long for a 2 week old!! She's a pretty content baby overall and doesn't really fuss or cry much, despite the fact that she must be seriously overtired!

She does pretty well at night, or as well as I would expect for her age, falling asleep around 9pm and waking 3x to nurse before 7am. She goes back to sleep easily after each feed.

I wanted to start EASY from the beginning but it's proving impossible as I have a very busy 27 month old DS so I can't spend all day trying to get her to sleep, I just have to do what works, and even that isn't much!

It just seems crazy to me that a 2 week old would be this tough to get to sleep... shouldn't she be in the super sleepy stage still? I'm crossing my fingers this is just a stage!

Does anyone have any insight/ideas or experience??

[lily_layne]

(((hugs)))  My LO skipped the sleepy newborn stage entirely so I can totally relate.  There were many missed naps in our house despite my best efforts.  What ended up working for us was Dr. Karp's 5s's (you can find videos on You Tube).  I used the 5 s's to get her to sleep (a tight swaddle and loud white noise were like magic) and then put her in her swing or her crib.  She did use a pacifier and sometimes I did have to give it to her a few times before she was in a deep sleep and sometimes she barely licked it and was asleep.  Once I got the hang of the technique, I could get her from screaming to asleep in minutes.  For my LO, part of the problem was that by being so alert she was easily overstimulated and then needed the extra help to shut out the world and get to sleep.  Even though DD wasn't going to sleep independently, I still tried to maintain the EAS structure as much as possible.  As DD got older she began needed less and less help getting to sleep and we were able to use sh/pat in her crib and now at 7 months she's a totally independent sleeper at naps (BT is a different story ).

[melloyello]

Thanks so much for your reply! It helps to know someone else has been there! We do swaddle her and use a fan for white noise but I will definitely check out the other S's! So did you hold her until she was completely asleep and then put her in the crib or would you lay her down while she was awake with the pacifier? Also, did the pacifier eventually become a problem, like she needed it to stay asleep? I just don't want to get into having to reinsert mid nap if she wakes early, which she sometimes does! At what age did you get rid of it? Glad to know your LO is now an independent sleeper despite the help in the beginning!

[lily_layne]

We do swaddle her and use a fan for white noise but I will definitely check out the other S's!

A fan might not be loud enough to help her get to sleep especially if she's crying.  The noise has to be louder than her crying in order for her to hear it.  We often used a hair dryer to get DD to sleep and then switched to a quieter noise once she was in a deep sleep.

So did you hold her until she was completely asleep and then put her in the crib or would you lay her down while she was awake with the pacifier?

This depended on how the day was going and how she was behaving.  If she was fairly calm and not OT, I would try to lay her down while awake and use the paci (she always used it to get to sleep her first few months) and jiggle the mattress by her head.  If she was OT and/or crying and fighting sleep, I would put her down asleep.  If she was really worked up or hadn't had a good nap all day, I would hold her until she was in a deep sleep and then put her down.  Usually on those times I would put her in the swing.  She usually had at least 1 nap a day in the swing and sometimes she slept part of the night in it.  She didn't have any problem transitioning to the crib for all of her naps but maybe it helped that she always slept in her crib at least part of the night and at least 1 nap a day.

Also, did the pacifier eventually become a problem, like she needed it to stay asleep? I just don't want to get into having to reinsert mid nap if she wakes early, which she sometimes does! At what age did you get rid of it?

The paci never became a problem for us.  DD needed it to get to sleep but not to stay asleep - she would suck hard for a few minutes and then spit it out.    Sometimes I had to go back and give it to her a few times until she was in a deep sleep but she never kept it in her mouth for the whole nap.  I did have to reinsert it mid-nap sometimes but looking back, I think those were times when she woke up because she was OT or OS.  I worried a lot about doing that but in the end, it was a great way to help her back to sleep.  Especially since you have another LO, if your DD will settle with a paci when she wakes up mid-nap, I'd go with it because it's probably more manageable for you than sh/pat.  Around 4 months, I noticed she was keeping it in her mouth once she was asleep so I'd go in and pull it out so she didn't get used to it.  At about 6 months, she started sucking her blanket instead of the paci.  Sometimes she's use the paci and sometimes she didn't and within a few weeks she didn't need it all. 

[melloyello]

Thanks so much for your advice! That is super helpful! We've had minimal sleep resistance today (knock on wood!) with the help of some very loud "womb sounds" white noise and a super tight swaddle. It makes all the difference when you get the first nap right and they're not overtired!

[lily_layne]

It makes all the difference when you get the first nap right and they're not overtired!

I totally agree!  I'm glad today is going better.  There was no sleep happening in our house without the loud white noise and tight swaddle!  My hairdryer is still in DDs room because we still sometimes need it on rough days!

[lily_layne]

How are things going?

[melloyello]

Things are definitely better overall, I can usually get at least 2 naps with minimal resistance and although she sometimes fights her other naps it is not as bad as before! The day is definitely much easier if I can keep her from getting overtired.

I try to have at least one or two naps in her crib each day and then the others are usually in the wrap/sling or carseat. In the evening we often have to just hold her. She really does not seem to sleep well in her swing for some reason. Do you think that's ok for this age or should I try for more naps in the crib? For the crib naps - if I catch the right window - she will fall asleep on her own with the paci.

The one thing we are struggling with is waking early. Sometimes it seems to be from gas as she will grunt and squirm around and then when I pick her up she will have a big burb. Other times she just wakes for whatever reason. I can sometimes resettle her with the paci but I often end up having to hold her or put her in the sling to finish the nap, or I end up feeding early.  Hopefully this will improve with time???

Thanks for checking in!

[lily_layne]

I'm glad things are getting better.

Do you think that's ok for this age or should I try for more naps in the crib?

That sounds just fine to me.  I think she's still so little that getting in naps however you can is the best goal.  If she's taking some naps in her crib, I'd bet that when she's ready, she'll easily transition into taking all of her naps in it.  The evening nap was always the toughest for my LO and it was almost always in the swing or being held.

I can sometimes resettle her with the paci but I often end up having to hold her or put her in the sling to finish the nap, or I end up feeding early.  Hopefully this will improve with time???

My memories of that time are a little foggy (sleep-deprived, mommy-brain) but I think there were lots of short naps.  I spent a lot of time worrying about it and trying to fix it but that was a total waste of my time and energy.  In hindsight, DD (like most newborns) just wasn't ready for a predictable day.  I would try resettling (20 minutes max) or APOP the end of the nap and if you can't, just feed her and move on with your day.  Someone wrote on here once, "Life's too short to spend in a dark room resettling your LO" and I totally agree (although I still have to remind myself of this because sometimes I still spend way too long resettling!).  As she gets older, her naps will start getting more consistent.

Are you ever waking her from naps?

[melloyello]

I do wake her sometimes to make sure she eats every 3 hours during the day but she more often wakes on her own as she seems to want to eat closer to every 2.5 hours. We're still only getting 2.5-3 hour stretches at night as well so hopefully she'll start lengthening those a bit soon! She often doesn't even se hungry at night and will just nurse for a few minutes and then be back asleep. Wonder if i
should try resettling before feeding?? Just so much easier to feed and go back to sleep though! She is only 3 weeks old so I guess I will cut her some slack!

I totally agree about wasting time resettling short naps. I spent such much time obsessing about and trying to "fix" DS's short naps and most of the time it was useless and only made me frustrated. I won't have the time for it this time anyway with two little ones!

[lily_layne]

We're still only getting 2.5-3 hour stretches at night as well so hopefully she'll start lengthening those a bit soon! She often doesn't even se hungry at night and will just nurse for a few minutes and then be back asleep. Wonder if i should try resettling before feeding??

I think my LO was closer to 6 weeks before we got longer stretches at night.  I always had good intentions of trying to resettle her before feeding but I could never remember to try.  Plus, sitting down and closing my eyes while nursing her was just too tempting to pass up in the MOTN.  She dropped feeds on her own when she was ready without any intervention from me.

I do wake her sometimes to make sure she eats every 3 hours during the day but she more often wakes on her own

I woke my LO too and looking back, I don't think it made a difference in her nights.  My DH always told me that "I messed with her too much" by waking her and I think he was right.  I should have just let her sleep.

[melloyello]

DD is 27 days now and I'm feeling a bit discouraged as we have had a couple rough days with naps again where she is so tough to get to sleep! She usually goes down ok for the first nap of the day, although it's not always as long as I would like (on that note, am I expecting too much in hoping she will sleep till the next feeding, 2.5-3 hours? I seem to remember DS sleeping longer and having to wake him often but perhaps short/inconsistent naps are typical of newborns?). The next nap always seems to be trickiest. It will often take up to 2 hours for her to fall asleep and then she is OT and doesn't sleep well and the rest of the day starts to deteriorate. Part of the problem is that I often take DS out at this time and she does not sleep well in the carseat, very restless and waking often. But I can't keep DS home all day! Anyway... I usually get her to the point where she is almost asleep and then put her down and she will be ok for a few minutes but then start to squirm and spit the paci out and wake up. I'll put the paci back in and settle her but the cycle just continues until she gets worked up and wide awake.

I have a feeling that I probably shouldn't be stressing so much as she is still so little and things are bound to be inconsistent at this point but I guess I just need some reassurance that it's ok to do what works for now (hold her, sling etc) and that I won't turn her into a horrible sleeper by APing some naps and reinserting the paci when she wakes early etc...

[lily_layne]

I have a feeling that I probably shouldn't be stressing so much as she is still so little and things are bound to be inconsistent at this point but I guess I just need some reassurance that it's ok to do what works for now (hold her, sling etc) and that I won't turn her into a horrible sleeper by APing some naps and reinserting the paci when she wakes early etc...

From what I've read on this site and from my experience, inconsistency is the name of the game with newborns.  It is totally ok to do what works at this stage.  A lot of moms on here recommend waiting until 3 months to start any sort of independent sleep training.  I wish I had read that advice when DD was a newborn - I know it would have helped me let go of my worries and just go with the flow.  There is a post on here somewhere about starting EASY with a newborn and it's really good.  I'll try to find it for you.

It's ok to leave the house even if your LO doesn't nap as well.  Being housebound isn't good for you or your other LO.  She may get better at napping on the go.

I recall the second nap also being the toughest.  Sometimes she missed it entirely and we'd just take a break and try again a little bit later.  Are you trying the 5s's and putting her down asleep?

[lily_layne]

I don't know how to link to a post properly but if you cut and paste this in your address bar, it should get you to the post I mentioned:  Getting started - how I survived the first 3 months

[melloyello]

Thanks for the link. Lots of helpful and reassuring info there. I basically just need to stop stressing and take each day as it comes... It's hard to stay positive though when I spend half an hour (or more) getting here to sleep only to have her wake up 30 min later! Lol. Oh well, life with a newborn is not meant to be predictable! I think part of the problem is that I am often missing that window when she is ready for sleep and she is up too long. It's pretty tough to get her down at exactly the right time with my other LO needing attention as well. Hopefully things will calm down a bit around the 6-8 week mark and she will sort her day sleep out a bit. Thankfully her nights are decent which definitely makes the days easier to endure when I am somewhat rested! Thanks again for your help!

[lily_layne]

I hear you on the spending half an hour to get a half hour nap - it's so frustrating.  If it helps, those days are already a distant memory for me and it's only been 7 months.

Oh well, life with a newborn is not meant to be predictable!

I'm certain that newborns are sent to us to teach us to live in the moment and go with the flow!

Don't worry too much about the sleep window.  I didn't have another LO to look after and I could never get her down at "exactly the right time".  I think with newborns there is no right time. Some LOs just need a lot of help getting to sleep.

[melloyello]

Yep, DS is 27 months and the newborn days are a distant blur! Probably why I seem to recall it being easier than it is!

This little lady likes to throw me for a loop everyday though. Currently she has been easier to get down initially but then is waking after 45 minutes or before. Sometimes if I'm there to catch her stirring I can get her back to sleep but that's not easy with another LO. I feel like she is very young to be starting the 45 minute nap business; DS was more like 8 or 9 weeks I think. So not sure if it's developmental or just a newborn inconsistency thing. Nothing worse than short naps! Grrr...

[lily_layne]

Nothing worse than short naps! Grrr...

Agreed!  Have you tried a top-up feed before her naps to see if that helps?

[melloyello]

Yes! I did try that this afternoon and we got a 2.5 hour nap! Although I basically ended up nursing her to sleep so it might be tricky to avoid that with the top-up feed.

[lily_layne]

If you're worried about creating a habit, try waking her up (just so she stirs a bit) when you set her down.  If she doesn't go right back to sleep just jiggle the mattress or do whatever you usually do.  She's still pretty young though so if she only nurses to sleep occasionally I don't think you'd need to worry about - just enjoy that you don't have to spend a half hour patting and shushing!