I might still consider OT before BT there. What we can do is learn more and more about him every day. It is a process and he in one sense is dictating what he needs. Sometimes we have to be a bit proactive and help them to learn the new way of sleeping. In either case, I think i'd rather vacuum and have him fall asleep on his own than spend hours trying to get him to sleep
. Know that won't work forever though
.
Oh course he falls asleep better on you, that's what he's done most of his life. It's totally up to you how you'd like to approach it. Tracy believed we all need Y time and I feel like that's why you're struggling atm because you're not getting any.
I would pay attention to his sleepy cues, but not take them as gospel at this age. If he's rubbing his eyes after ony an hour A time, I definitely wouldn't try for a nap. That's why we have one eye on the clock also.
How about you take a couple of days and just watch his cues. Take a note what happens and when. And how the naps go just watching him. I think the time away from me telling you what to do and for you to reconnect with your mummy instinct will make you feel better also.
I struggled massively too. We all do to some degree. I thought it was going to be so much easier. Babies should sleep if they're tired, I didn't realise how much effort it takes. FWIW i remember a week when DD was 4mo I think and she just went on nap strike. No naps whatsoever. I spent that week in tears and feeling so isolated. I wish I had found this forums then.
You will see millions of posts about LO's on here and their sleep, as that's what we do! It's not very often people post on here telling us their babies are sleeping well so what do they do?!
There are sleep regressions, teething issues, prop issues, LO's being OT or UT for their naps, going through nap transitions early or late and need help there too.
One thing I will have to say that if you do decide to sleep train, as Katherine said you have to be 100% committed. There's absolutely no point in allowing a LO to cry and cry for ages (with you there of course) for him to finally get what he wants and be BF to sleep. That's just teach him that he has to cry for longer and harder to get what he wants and really actually not fair on him. If you change the goalposts, you have to be consistent above all things. It will take a bit of time, but if you have the right mind set andhe will feel it from you, it will be so much easier. If you doubt yourself and what you are doing is for the best, you'll automatically revert back to your old way of doing things and that will just confuse him. It's no bad thing to sleep train. Crying is horrible but if you remember that is his only way of communicating with you it does help. If he were an adult, he would just shout at you saying 'this is NOT the way we do things mum', to which you'll reply ' i know, but this is the new way of doing things from now on, ok? I know it's hard as we are changing the goal posts, but this will be so much better for you int he long run and you and I will feel more rested and able to go about our day'. This is why we firmly believe we are with our LO's whilst they are crying. We are communicating back to them. Have a think hun, anything you want to chat through, we are here for you. But please give what I said some thought, speak to your DH and have what YOU believe to be for the best firmly in your mind whatever that may be. Good luck with the 4mo check today xx