Want to start EASY, but wife has reservations...

[JoshB]

Our daughter is a little over two weeks old and has already gotten into the habit of only sleeping if she is being held by my wife, taking away all of her sleeping time.  I bought several of the Baby Whisperer books and really like the concepts in them.  I convinced my wife to try the shush/pat technique to get our daughter to sleep in the bassinet, and it worked!!

Only thing holding us back from doing EASY is my wife's concern that she loses all her "baby/mommy time" to this method.  She wont be able to hold her, snuggle with her at all.  One of her favorite things is to have the baby sleep on her, even though is encourages her to only go to sleep this way.

Does EASY remove this snuggle time?  Since my wife will be staying home and I'll be going back to work soon, its going to be completely up to my wife how to handle things, and if I cant convince her to try EASY, there is no point in trying it at all either.

Anyone suggestions???

[citrouille]

All I can say is that I regret not having known about this method before. I've just started at 10.5 months and have not had a full night's sleep since my LO was born.
I think in the beginning we are so in love with our babies that we don't want to put them down and we introduce bad habits. I'm sure that your wife could still snuggle just not during sleeping time. Any effort made now will be worth it i'm sure!

[Lola]

There's always time for love and snuggles...feeding time and activity time doesn't mean you can't touch and snuggle with your baby...hold things up and mirrors and funny faces and voices...she will NOT lose any contact or affection with her baby..Mine is 11+ months now and there is no shortage of love and kisses (unless of course she doesn't want a kiss)LOL
EASY is wonderful...your wife needs the "Y" time...even though she may not think so..it's also nice for you to be able to take part that way. Hats off to you Josh for taking initiative....we welcome dad's here 
Laura

[andibig]

totally agree with Lola.
I know its lovely when they are so small and they fall asleep on you. they just look so adorable but its adifferent story when they weigh 20lbs and more LOL. easy was a godsend for me as i used to let DD fall asleep on me. now she falls asleep independently and is a great sleeper (except when shes teething ).
i think some people are put off by EASY as they think its a schedule. its not ots about routine and being flexible.
there will still be plenty of snuggles and afffection.DD is the most cuddly baby i know.!!!
let us know how it goes

[rebecaq]

Hi Josh!

Welcome to BW!

I agree with what the other ladies have told you, especially that it's not so cute or convinient to have a 20 lb baby who can sit up, kick and push you trying to sleep with you.  Tracy said in one of her books to ask yourself if you're really willing to carry this behavior on for months, maybe years.

Sleepytime isn't he only cuddle time there is, as mentioned above, there's playimte, mealtime, anytime!! In fact, my hubby complains that I kiss ds more in one day than I do him all week ( guilty as charged ) so if your wife to have a cuddle fest all day long, then tell her to go for it! But they will both enjoy cuddle time a lot more if they are both well rested!

- Beca

[Kimberly®]

Ditto from me. I am greatfull that I gave EASy a go and found it working for me. Cuddle time is importent, but so is helping to teach your child healthy sleep and eating habbits. There is no shortage of snuggletime in this house. You can show love in other ways too.

The best advice ever is, Do as you mean to continue.

Ask your wife if she thinks it would be fun to have this at 1 year? or to never have sleep or private time? or to be up all hours of the night resettling because LO can't get herself to sleep.

I understand as a mother what she feels, but this is where you really have to put the needs of your baby above your own. Is it really better for your DD to only know how to sleep on mommy? Attachment parenting is great if you don't want a life outside of the baby, don't get me wrong its entirly up to your wife, she is the mom, she knows her child not us, but show her both sides so she can make an informend choice for herself and her baby.

BTW congratulations.

[Missie]

....from someone who has just started implementing EASY after months of snuggling to sleep etc. I think the dreamfeed is the most amazing bonding experience I've had yet.

HTH

Missie

[TJ & Stephy's Mommy]

Hi Josh,

Let me just say that as a stay at home mom, EASY has really made it much easier for me to take care of my LO.  I didn't implement EASY until my DS was 3.5 months old and I also enjoyed the snuggle time and letting DS fall asleep on me but after awhile I realized that I needed to have more set routine to help plan my days and evenings especially when my DH went back to fulltime work.  My DH job requires him to be travel alot so I have to do everything on my own.  We implemented EASY so that our days and evenings were more predictable and there was no guesswork in trying to figure out what DS wanted or needed.  We were all over the place before EASY as we didn't know if DS was hungry or if he was sleepy; we have no routine and this just caused us alot of grief.  Since we have been on EASY, I still get the snuggle time and DS has been much happier now that he knows after he eats he gets to play and snuggle with mom.  Before we would try to play with him not realizing that he was sleepy or hungry (we weren't watching his cues).  Plus, with EASY, I have some time for myself to catch up on housework, relax and even time with my DH.  If your wife is going to be handling everything when you go back to work, EASY would be best for her.  It is flexible, predictable and she will still get the snuggle time with your LO.

HTH
Mel

[First Time Mom]

Hi Josh,

I've been using EASY since my dd was 5 weeks old and it was a life saver for me! My dd is a very snuggly baby and I LOVE hugging and cuddling with her, definately no shortage of cuddling here! One thing to point out, though I used EASY routine and BW methods there were times that I couldn't settle my dd when she was very young so I would bf to sleep, let her sleep in my arms, etc. Done occassionally this will not create bad habits, besides, our darlings are tiny infants only once, it would be sad to go through their infancy without having a chance to do this!

[samijoe]

Josh--hats off to you for taking the initiative!!
The BW really does work!!  My dd is an angel baby and loves her routine!  All the other mums I know ask me all the time how I do it--of course I tell them, then they tell me how much they don't want to have a "schedule!"  Schedules were meant to be broken...routines..and bw are a lifestyle.  Our babies start out not knowing what to do...and by giving them some predictability to their lives, they are better able to cope with their day (think how much dogs love routine!).
My mother-in-law gave me the BW book (about week 8 or so)---her veterinarian refused to treat her cat if she didn't get it for me (kidding)!  At the time I was so sick of reading baby books, after constantly breastfeeding, I picked it up.  It did change my life.
While us girls might believe we are born knowing what to do, it really does help to have Tracy's knowledge working with you hand in hand.  I think she really has a healthy way of looking at things--unlike other methods of "routine" i have researched.
Ultimately you are right...your wife will be the primary caregiver to your lo.  Maybe you can get her to browse at this website and see what a community we all are!  You can come here for any type of advice--we all come from all walks of life and have lots of ideas to offer!  We are also great at offering hugs!! 
I will warn however, that once you do convince your wife of the BW-ing ways, it can be very addciting!!  Good luck, we'll all keep our eyes open for you!

Samantha 

[Duckie]

I have a 5 yr old who was my BW guinea pig (yes, I've been on this website through one incarnation or another for 5 years!)  Trust me.  It's the best thing I've ever done for both my boys and my family.

And we all get plenty of snuggles.

[rinajack]

Josh

I know exactly what your wife is feeling.  I wanted to do family bed, etc.  But my baby (now 21 weeks), is sleeping better in her room in her cot than she did with us.  I cuddle her HEAPS when she is awake.  But also this....I spent 2 weeks (maybe it was one, not entirely sure, can't remember already), teaching her to fall asleep independantly, in her cot.  Since then, I am much more flexible.  She does have some short naps in my arms, in her stroller, in the car, even feeds to sleep occasionally.  But the beauty of this is - I can do this whenever I choose to for some extra cuddle time.  But I don't HAVE to do it.  If I am busy with something else, or am at work, or need her to be with anyone else, I know she is just fine to go to sleep.  I guess I feel good knowing that I can do it sometimes, but my baby doesn't need it, it is a bonus for us both.  I just make sure that I don't do it all the time, otherwise I would have to start again.

Now we have a lot of flexibility, and I am sooooo happy.  Also, because baby not completely reliant on me to sleep, she gets more chance to bond with her dad.  Some of her short cuddle sleeps are with him!!!

Good luck with your little bubba and good for you for reading the book and helping your wife make the parenting decisions.  My husband does this too, but at my encouragement.

[Wiki]

I can only reiterate what the others have said. I started BW at about 2 months for moving daytime naps from rocker chair to cot, and haven't looked back. My 8 month old Caspar (Textbook) will pretty much fall asleep in any friend's cot, we have a nap time routine and he's so used it it, he will go down quietly. Tracy's book is fantastic for learning your LO's cues, this has helped me so much and I think it makes for one very chilled out baby. If you meet their needs as soon as they have them, they feel relaxed and trusting - we still have no separation anxiety here (unlike a friend who was a Gina Ford mum) - and I can leave Caspar with any friend or familiy member, or in a strange house or place, and he's fine.

Congratulations on your LO, and please do get your wife to check out these boards, they have been full of valuable advice for me and many others! Its great to see a dad on here, my H was suspicious at first of BW, but when he had to look after Caspar recently for 2 days whilst I had an operation, he really realised how great it was, and how easy (pun intended!) it made the day!