24.5 mo sleep gone wonky

[K-JDA]

Hi all

Would really appreciate some thoughts re our 24.5 mo touchy DS as in the last month things have gone somewhat awry!

Routine was WU 6.15ish, nap 1-2.30 (capped), bed 7. We introduced a gro clock when we capped the map due to EWs and even got 11 he nights for the first time ever!

Then we had a holiday and a bad ear infection and it's all gone horribly wrong!!

We lost IS at bedtime on holiday as he hated the travel cot. During the ear infection we had to co-sleep and do every bit of AP possible to get some sleep into him. Since Monday he has been loads better so have done WIWO at bedtime to re-establish IS. Was going ok til tonight and DH is in there now trying to settle him.

He also continues to wake between 11-12 for an hour or so. Can't get him to self-settle then at all so am holding him sat in a chair. He has also been screaming for milk and in a state of tiredness I caved in - will regret that I am sure.

His second year molars are on their way at the bottom with 2 quite hard lumps so am giving meds before bed and at NWs but not really sure how much this is contributing to the situation. All his teeth so far have been pretty terrible and his 1st year molars were awful. Could they be causing him to find it hard to get back to IS and STTN?

 Thinking he is still OT too from being ill as he has not had longer than a 10 hr night in nearly 2 or 3 weeks now. He doesn't really tack on but should I try an EBT And if so then how early?

Today has been WU 6.15 (up for 1 hr in night), nap 1-2.40, bed - DH still trying now at 7.30!

Any advice really appreciated as I am pooped!!!

[Truly Blessed]

Hi there Sweetie,

(HUGS) at this tricky time. Okay TBH reading through this and taking into account all of the factors my advise for you having BTDT with DS is to take a breathe and ride it out. Holiday, ear infection, teething, it is no wonder he is 'at 6's and 7's right now' I know these times are so very tiring for LO and us as parents, but maybe you feel the same way I always used to. I would be in a state of panic about APOP and routine being all over the place, but I can tell you this with certainty. Once a LO has been an IS, they can go back to being an IS, so IMHO you do what you need to do for him at this time, in order to help him through. Sometimes I would forget what is at the heart of BW, which is to be in tune with what your LO needs, because I was so scared that I was doing Sam damage by allowing his routine to be AWOL, but I have been there so many times now, that I know it can always be put right. Oh my goodness I hope that didn't sound like a lecture   

Also, as he has just turned 2, I'm sorry to say but regression may also be at play with the 2 year leap    we have sleep disruption around every birthday.

Having said all of that, I would be there for him but limit the APOP as much as possible. IIWM I wouldn't change his routine on a permanent basis as there is nothing to indicate that it's needs changing, there's too much going on to know, but I would try for EBT, figuring out much/little sleep he has had in the last 24 hours, and going from there, on a 10 hour day previously, I would go with a 12 hour day max. If he doesn't tack on, you may be in for a very early morning, but it still could pay off a couple of nights later    The NW are probably a combination of OT and teething. If he is having meds before bed at around 7, then he has between 5 and 6 hours of pain relief, so waking at 11 ish does indicate that it could be down to pain, because that's 5 hours later. For the NW I would, try and get more meds into him. Stop the milk, but allow him water, or even juice if necessary (if he doesn't like water) but handing him the cup to drink himself.  I wouldn't worry too much about needing to stay with him to help him back to sleep at the NW, but I would keep him in his cot/bed if you can with a gentle hand on him/back rub, whatever he needs, so he knows you are there. If he is standing up I would just use a sleepy phrase, and lay him back down gently shushing.

As WI/WO has been successful for a few nights, I would probably still try for it, but then stay if he is upset.

I recently bought Sam something called a 'dream lite' it's one of those cuddle buddy soft toys, which is a night light, it shines the shape of the animal and stars on the ceiling, it's fabulous  I'm mentioning it because he has been NW and I switch it on again (20 min timer) he watches it and he falls back to sleep quicker than ever before, it's so relaxing. Maybe this is something DS would love at this time, throw something nice into the mix for him whilst he's struggling 

http://www.thetoyshop.com/Dolls-and-soft-toys/Soft-toys/Pillow-Pets-Dream-Lites---Jolly-Giraffe/p/514909_giraff?pageType=PRODUCT

This is Sam's giraffe ^ 

I hope some of this info helps Hun.

x.

[K-JDA]

Hi there

First of all a massive thank you for your reply - it is just what I needed to hear!!!

Agree the 2 year leap is probably at play but when combined with teeth and everything else it is almost impossible to do anything other than try and relax and ride it out!!! His 1st year molars were the same and were combined with illness, starting nursery, his 1st birthday and me going back to work and I just did what was necessary to get through and IS was re-established - it seriously stressed me out tho and that is what I need to try not to happen this time around!!

I will certainly try all your suggestions so once again thanks so much for your very reassuring reply!

[Truly Blessed]

First of all a massive thank you for your reply - it is just what I needed to hear!!!

It's my pleasure I know exactly what it is like, and believe me I find it hard to take it in my stride, it always feels so exasperating and feels like a huge step back, but as long as I bear in mind it's temporary it helps calm me down. When Sam turned 3 we went through a very long phase of IS gone wonky, I would lie with him and sing him to sleep, it was the only way he would go over and be able to stay calm. I tried GW, I tried WI/WO but he would get so very upset. Of course I started a thread (obviously ) and a lovely fellow BW put things into perspective for me. She told me her Daughter went through the same phase, and she took a deep breathe and decided to see the night time cuddles as a positive, reminding me that one day I will long for it when he is grown. It resonated with me so much, and I took her advise. In actual fact it was no more than 15 minutes of my time to help our precious boy go to sleep calmly and happily. I did it for 4.5 months, then one night the cooker timer beeped and I said "Mammy will be back when I've taken dinner out of the oven" I came back and he was asleep, he was through the stage and once again able to achieve IS from that night on. I will always be grateful for that reply, because I look back on it as a precious time, and even now if Sam is really struggling to sleep, I tell him I understand, and Mammy will lie with him tonight, he goes over in 5 minutes, and the next night he is back to IS. It was a really important lesson for me, and I am lucky that as he is my only one, I can afford him my time 

As your DS is only 2, it's guaranteed this won't be last time something like this happens, but you will always get through it  When sleep is affected you feel tired, but for me the stress of worrying about it, and being fixated on putting it right quickly is far more exhausting, so accepting the situation and focusing on doing what is best to help Sam at that time always takes a load off.

Here for you Hun, let me know how things are going 

x.

[K-JDA]

Thanks Hun - really appreciate the support.

To top it off I am ill now again - am run down I think and feel rubbish! We had a shocking night on thiursday - one of his molars felt really swollen in the night and he was just screaming. It was awful. Just had to rock him back to sleep.

Had to take the day off work yesterday and get some sleep which has helped me a bit but needless to say we are in full APOP mode as he will not have anything to do with DH. Last night when he NW he just slept with me and DH took the back room. TBH we probably got more sleep that way! Co-sleeping is not where I want to be really but no choice for now until I feel better. At least he slept til 6 this morning so probably had nearer 10.5hrs ONS than 9 the night before!! He totally refused meds in the night so don't think his teeth were bothering him too much last night.

 Will see if we can catch up a bit on OT over the weekend and then re-evaluate next week re co-sleeping etc. Hopefully I will feel better by then too.

On the plus side DS is suddenly saying 5 word sentences - it is amazing to watch!!!

[Truly Blessed]

Hi Hun,

Oh dear it all seems to come at once doesn't it! You do what you have got to do, you can put this right when things improve. The molars are the worst!! I looked back on my threads this week, and remembered how bad that time was for us.

On the plus side DS is suddenly saying 5 word sentences - it is amazing to watch!!!

This will undoubtedly be part of the problem too, developmental leaps cause mayhem with sleep. There's waaaay to much going on right now, you poor things.

I will be here for you if/as and when you need my support.

Get well soon

Vicki.x.

[K-JDA]

Cheers chick. Will check in next week when a bit clearer on everything.

[K-JDA]

Hi there

So am feeling loads better but still really tired as the NWs continue! The bottom 2 molars are really quite prominent now under the gum so really hoping they come through soon! Have had his ears checked again to be sure and all ok.

My issue re NWs is I work full-time in a pressured job and it's my busiest time of year and have a vertigo condition which is triggered by tiredness so not easy to be up so much in the night so am continuing to opt to bring in bed with me after 1st NW. Not ideal but it is what it is until I know I would have success with iS. He won't tolerate DH at all to help him settle so feel a bit out of options on this one! Overall I think we are both getting more sleep although not great quality from my point of view but it is a lot less stressful!

Have decided to concentrate on getting DS settling at bedtime in his cot - don't feel that WIWO is an option until the molars are thru because he just gets so upset so am opting to stay in the room with hand on for now and aiming towards hand off and self settle at bedtime then GW I think.

Also knocking the milk on the head as you suggested.

Would value your thoughts.

[Truly Blessed]

Hi Sweetie,

If I were you I would be doing exactly the same. The molars are awful, so I think it would be fruitless to try sorting the NW out until he is less distressed. I would also be staying with him, and if 'hand on' works then that will make it easier when the time comes to move on, if not then you do what you need to in order to help him be calm and go over.

Sending you lots of (HUGS), this sounds like a really stressful time for you, and it is so hard, but as with all of these times "This too shall pass"

Vicki.x.

[K-JDA]

Hiya

Just after a bit of advice/reassurance as not making much progress. 😒

So made some progress Mon/tues with settling in cot with my help. Then  he had a temp/was sick a couple of times on Tuesday and then had a v bad night so took him to the doctors Wednesday and his ear is red inside (not infected) but clearly was giving him some problems. The doctor says that the root formation of his molars could be triggering ear pain - poor thing. He seems loads better yesterday/today and not particularly in obvious discomfort but just not sure!!!

Even though medicated at bedtime the last 2 nights I just can't get him to settle in his cot! He lies down but then is twitching his legs and head as though trying to get comfy and this just continues until he gets really frustrated/upset. Doesn't matter if my hand is on him or not. Because I know he is so OT I've ended up helping him to sleep (holding in chair) and last night waited until he was very dozy before lying him down then hand on as he fell asleep.

The NWs continue and are a bit of the same as before.

His 2 bottom molars don't seem any closer and  who knows when they will appear - could be weeks - although through the gum you can see white of teeth so could be close???

I am torn between knowing whether it's discomfort or just we have got so out of routine/lack of IS causing NWs plus the OT too.

We are in such a muddle I just don't know where to go from here - it's been about 4 weeks now and I need to find a way through to cope better than this.

Should I just persevere as I had planned with bedtime settling as a start?

[Truly Blessed]

Hi Hun, (HUGS) bless his heart. The first thing that comes to mind is to elevate his head while he sleeps. Teething causes congestion and ear pain is also worse when lying flat. I used to roll towels and put them underneath Sam's cot, at the head end obviously, and it always made a difference. This could also explain why he is more able to settle with you in the chair right now.  I also remember that because LO's salivate so much when teething, the saliva drips down into the back of the throat and they cough a lot. Sam was sick a couple of times due to this, and brought up bile, which I'm sure was the amounf of saliva he had been swallowing, pretty grim eh  . I'm sorry to say, but I don't think you're able to plan right now Sweetie, just get through the best you can until those darn teeth pop The only thing you can try is to put him down and see how it goes, then APOP if necessary KWIM  Start out the way you would prefer then switch if needs be.

x.

[K-JDA]

Cheers for that - will try elevating the head end of his cost to see if that helps - good tip! Will just roll with it for now and hope the teeth come through soon then see where we are.

[K-JDA]

Well things have not improved here and still no sign of teeth! Just to add to it all DS had a 24hr sick bug on Wednesday so every time we make a small improvement on IS we just go backwards again. Think we have had a few days with no pain but then a long NW last night so just not sure. Only silver lining was that he didn't wake up this morning til 7am (new time) after he got in bed with us at 5.

I am seriously struggling to cope now - he just will not settle at all at bedtime - even with AP. It can take over an hour most nights now so bedtime is 7.30 to 8 but has been later. Am valiantly trying to get him to fall asleep in his cot with my hand on with a view to a GW approach but feels like an uphill battle.

He is then awake midnight-ish for anywhere from 30mins to 3.5hrs!!! We eventually fall asleep in my bed as he just screams and screams if I try to resettle in cot and then I put him back in his cot. Then he will WU anytime from 5.45 or sleep longer if the NW was v long or he will EW and I manage to resettle in our bed for a bit longer.

I am trying EBT and sticking to our original routine but getting nowhere with it. Am just wondering if it would be better to have bedtime a bit later for a bit so he is properly tired then. Bedtime might not be such a battle but could backfire and add to OT.

I know some of the NWs are due to lack of IS and really want to get this re-established but am running out of emotional resilience to make any good decisions right now.

Would really value thoughts/support.

[Truly Blessed]

I'm so sorry things are still so tough Sweetie. Can I just ask have you had his ears checked again by the doctor? I just wonder if there is further infection, it sounds like a pain issue to me

x.

[K-JDA]

Hiya - yes had them checked on Wednesday as I thought the same thing. Still red in one ear but no infection so could be part of the issue. Slightly better night last night - got him to sleep in his cot with my hand on after only 15 mins or so (hand on his leg). Awake at 11 but just stuck him straight in bed with me and he slept til 6 so nearly 10.5hrs ONS which is the best for ages. Definitely no pain overnight so think/hope his ear us finally better. Will persevere with getting IS at bedtime and see if that helps the NWs - think GW might be the best route and see how we get on.