Night terrors?

[xxkaty23xx]

My ds has begun waking up several times during the night and sitting in the corner of his bed staring at the door and screaming and crying like someone was about to kill him, he is genuinely frightened, but i say awake loosely as he is actually still asleep, it scares the hell out of me, its like something that should be on the omen! I told my mum about it and she said i went through the same thing from about 2yo until i was about 4yo. She saw him do it last night and said it was like going back in time and watching me again. But i mentioned it to the health visitor and she said night terrors are an old wives tale and my ds is probably attention seeking. I dont believe that for a minute, she hasnt seen it, and he falls asleep as quicky as he woke up, he looks right through me as if i am not even there and i was told not to wake him up as this would just frighten him, i dont know how to help him through this, it scares my dp and he will not go in the room because he is a very spiritual person and believes in ghosts etc, he is even going as far as to say he thinks we should move as the old lady next door told us the man who owned this house died in his sleep so he has jumped to conclusions and wants us to move again. I got our priest to bless the house when we moved in as i am catholic and have had this done in every house ive ever lived in and he came back last week to do it again to put my dp's mind at ease but he still wont listen. I am so confused, does anyone elses child do this? I dont want to move, i love this house and i need to convince my dp that it is nothing to do with spirits etc and it just a childhood phase like mine was!

[Nikki~Nathanamp;Danielle]

My DS went through a phase of doing this! It's definitely real, not sure why your HV said that, it's documented in most sleeping books etc. I think though that true night terrors are mostly in teenagers, but it is really common in toddlers. I think it lasted about a year for my ds off and on. We'd have a week where he'd wake every night screaming and then it would be gone for a few months. We haven't had it for over 6mths not - it's not nice, in fact I've heard of it being labelled as night terrors because it's terrifying for the parents! Your poor dp, I can understand why it freaks him out, but I have never though of it as being spiritual related, so not sure how you're going to deal with that?

What I used to do was go into ds, sit with him, not wake him (as it can freak them out longer and make the episode go on and on), and just wait it out - he would be thrashing, kicking, screaming. Fortunately ours only ever lasted about 5mins, but I have read they can last up to 40mins. If it's a night terror it will happen in the first 2-4hrs after bedtime (often before midnight), so that is a good indicator - in the other half of the night, it is often nightmares. I found my a lot of our night wakings coincided with ds not feeling good in himself during the day - so maybe with the other things going on for him (discipline wise) that it could be reflecting on his sleep as well. No fun, BTDT and hopefully he'll get past it soon for all of your sakes.

[Harrisonsmummy]

Night terrors from my reading are where they are caught between sleep phases, a bit like when they cry out half way through a nap etc. There is a lot of confusion because of their name, but they aren't anything to do with nightmares etc.

They are asleep, that's why they look through you, and they have no idea what they are doing, and no memory of it the next day - so don't discuss it or mention it, or they can worry about it - unlike nightmares which may have some subconsious foundation.There is no point in waking them as they should just go into the next phase themselves, only restrain them gently if they are in the habit of running around in their sleep.

I think they can be more common in overtired toddlers in the same way that night wakings are triggered by overtiredness so it may be worth trying to get an early bedtime or tweak the routine and see if that helps.

[Florencia]

Try to monitor the time it is happening (a certain hour at night or at a certain time after going to sleep, say around 90 mins etc).If you can, go into his room 10-15 mins prior the usual episode to observe what's happening: is he tangled in his sheets? is his head stuck in a corner where it's difficult to breath? is a stuffed animal blocking his movements? you know, they have patterns of movement as their sleep stages goes by, so it is very likely he's doing the same every night and hence getting to a point where it is physically umconfortable, yet his sleep is deep and then it "materializes" as a terror. Once you see how it starts you might solve the puzzle and prevent it from happening. It usually starts as a jolt fist so if you're able to comfort him during this first jolt (with some patting or rubbing in his forehead, shshing etc) he might go to the next sleep phase without the following part of the terror. Basically is sort of a wake to sleep without the waking: you're there for him when he cries but somehow manage to stop the crying and do that for at least 3 days in a row and see if that helps the pattern to stop.

WARNING: Spiritual disertation is about to occur so feel free to ignore this those who don't beleive

I am also a catholic and like your husband, beleive in "the beyond". There are just so many things we don't understand or have control of. I also beleive in the power of prayer and in God being just there when we call out for Him. In a situation like this, what would ease my mind would be to have God as present as possible. Make a small alter as close as you can from your ds's bed. Put on a Virgin image (remember Virgin Mary intercedes for us in front of God, and is also advocate for Mother's prayers) and a St. Francis of Asis image if you manage to get one. St. Francis is an advocate for childrens. Before lo going to bed, pray together for angels, saints and all powers in heaven to take care of his sleep. Remember that faith can move mountains, you have to remind your husband there's no need to run away from home, just hold Lord's hands and ask Him to be with you through every time and He'll do that.

Good luck, I will keep your family in my prayers. It must be heartbreaking to see your little angel go trhough something like that.

[Erin M]

DD has had night terrors too and like Nikki said, they're documented in just about every baby book I've read so please ignore your HV's comments on that.  Also, my pediatrician confirmed that she was having night terrors from our description of them.   We have them here when she's had a very "off-schedule" kind of day in terms of sleeping or a very overstimulating day.  My DD got through them more quickly when I rocked her, though I have heard of other people doing much better when they don't touch their LOs (as hard as that is).  Katie generally screams so hard she ends up throwing up, so that means a change of clothes, sheets, etc and she ends up being woken up anyway. 

[Elfie's mummy]

Dear All,
I am so relieved to have found this has been posted so recently and hopefully will be continued. My DD will be three at end of October and has been having what we now know to be night terrors for over a month - virtually every night without fail.
Until a couple of weeks ago, I thought that she was having a tantrum because she would scream so much but it was becoming clearer and clearer that she actually had no idea that I (or my DH) was even in the room. She completely freaks out if she is touched and although she is a really eloquent talker the only thing that she says that makes sense is "Mummy" over and over, the rest is wailing and complete gobbledegook - totally unlike her (although we do get occasional daytime tantrums!!). She acted like she was being attacked if I touched her and clearly didn't see that it was me there. It was so frightening and I felt so helpless, as they tend to go on for up to half an hour, that I used to just stand crying.
I scoured the internet frantically trying to find out what could possibly be up with her (we live in Spain so I have no HV equivalent) and the sheer relief I felt when I stumbled upon a huge forum thread dedicated to night terrors.....it had other people experiencing everything we were going through.
For me, just reading other peoples experiences, helped so very much and from that night, I am able to just sit in her room with her saying things like "It's OK, mummy's here" etc. When she comes round, she is clingy and hot and thirsty!
Two key things that I learnt from the forum were that often night terrors manifest themselves when a child is hot, either due to fever or weather....we are in the very south of Spain where these night terrors seem to have started as the weather really got hot. We now put the fan in her room to it's highest setting and only put a nappy on her (rather than nappy and light t-shirt) People suggested that for some reason, cooling feet down worked like a miracle cure, or keeping them uncovered (from clothing and bedding) helped to prevent...personally if I tried to get close to my DD feet while she is in the middle of a night terror, I risk having my face scratched off or her injuring herself...so a no-go for us, but may help one of you!
Secondly, I read about the homeopathic remedy Belladonna....I went and bought some immediately and tonight is her fifth night that we have given it to her. First night she slept all night!!!! Second night she woke screaming but this only lasted about 7 minutes, which has never happened. The the last two nights she has slept through again. Tonight? Well, we shall see but I can honestly say that although doctors say that they will eventually grow out of it (and I'm sure that they do) but for me, I needed to do something and I'm am more than happy to go the homeopathic route to save the upset, anguish and tears that we have been going through. By the way, I guess it goes without saying but it should be noted that you must get professional advise before administering any homeopathic medicines to children.....Hope that this helps. Becki xxxx

[Erin M]

Thanks for your thoughts -- had never heard about the cooling them down bit, interesting to know.